Summary: House and Wilson get gay married for the adoption rights. Will what starts out as an act push them into something more? Or will they just push each other away? HW slash although, strangely, not from the start.

"New hobby?" Wilson couldn't help but ask as he found House, who had strangely turned up almost on time but been missing from his office for the three hours that followed his arrival, leaning against the wall next to the window off the hall that led into one of their long-term paediatrics wards.

"Chase recommended it."

Wilson laughed softly, but his curiosity remained as he noticed a certain… sadness, he supposed, about his friend. Something he wasn't entirely sure he'd seen before, as the other man stared vaguely into the ward full of children beyond. Children cheered up considerably by visiting parents sat up in beds most of them had occupied for weeks. But in the corner, one young girl, probably around seven years old, lay alone, staring wistfully at the smiling faces around her. Wilson risked a question, since a glance at House told him that it was her he was watching.

"Can you relate?"

"Not specifically. Never alone in a hospital bed."

House's unwillingness to explain further told Wilson enough for him to know that the implications of the comment were just a diversionary tactic. This, though, was the matter that needed to be pressed, and House hadn't walked away yet. Wilson sighed.

"Felt alone?"

House's only reply was a glare. Wilson didn't have to be a genius to figure out what that one meant.

"House… do you want kids?"

Cutting to the chase seemed like the best option. Especially since it got him a sideways glare but no denial. Wilson couldn't deny the painful pang in his chest that always seemed to follow admissions of humanity from House.

"You could always adopt," he suggested, initially avoiding House's eyes but finding himself unable to ignore the dark look that was shot in his direction.

"Yeah, because crippled drug addicts who are never home make such great parents."

"You were pretty good with Steve McQueen," Wilson shrugged, allowing some of his hurt to creep into his voice although, even though he knew some of it was due to his being dismissed when he was only trying to help, there was a part of him that was hurt on House's behalf too. Why did nobody else appreciate him beyond the clearly acted exterior?

"Great. I'll get a reference."

House's sarcasm was strangely bitter, and Wilson struggled to hide a wince as he realised that House knew all of those things already, he couldn't change them and… they were all his fault. His own decisions in his life had prevented him from doing something he'd always wanted and, without a woman in his life –despite somewhat inconsistent effort, none had lasted longer than a week since Stacy- it wasn't as though he had an alternative. Wilson considered the idea of suggesting Cuddy's want for a sperm donor for a moment, but knew that House would have considered that himself, and he'd obviously dismissed it for his own reasons. Wilson thought it was probably because Cuddy wouldn't let him be a father, just a donor. Bringing a kid up with the influence of House and Cuddy's relationship hanging over him was something Wilson didn't think would be particularly beneficial.

So House was out of options. Nobody would stay with him to make the sort of commitment they needed for either of the overall options. And Wilson knew. He'd been there since his internship, since before Stacy… and there hadn't really been anyone before then, either.

And then Wilson realised there was something he could suggest.

"Okay, so… crippled drug addict who's never home? Or disabled, dedicated professional?"

House just looked at him, cynical as ever, but Wilson was too busy thinking, absorbed in his idea.

"And, just to push it over the edge, professional married couple-"

"Who the hell would marry me?" House had to interject, already seeing a flaw in Wilson's apparently brilliant plan. And Wilson seemed to have nothing to say back, just looked at him with a strange secretive smile…

"God, you're easy," House shook his head, not taking his eyes off his friend for a second. Was he seriously suggesting they get married?

"I'm looking for a fourth owner. Women assume there's something wrong with me."

"And you're about to prove them right."

"Well, yeah. But come on, House! Gay couple, doctors. One of them's disabled. If they refuse us we could sue them into the ground."

"You'd sue an adoption agency?"

Wilson paused, frowned. He probably wouldn't. But hopefully it wouldn't get that far.

"It's fine. Come on. I'll take you to Vegas for our honeymoon?" he made his offer hopefully, aware that House, having not smacked him round the face yet, was already becoming convinced.

"They'll do a criminal records check."

Still, though, House's reason remained. He was the epitome of a bad parent, he knew that. And while he desperately wanted Wilson to convince him otherwise, for really it was only Wilson who could, he'd spent so long thinking about how unlikely it was that he didn't want to get his hopes up.

"We can find some dirt on Tritter. The Mafia still owe you, right?"

At that, House couldn't help but smile, looking at the ground as he idly stabbed his cane at the floor tiles a few times, thinking. He sighed. Looked up again, saw Wilson's hopeful look. Wondered about what the other man really gained from doing what he was suggesting, and couldn't understand it. Wilson did so much for him, and most of the time it was completely unquestioned. Maybe… maybe this was his chance to do something in return. And gain something he wanted into the bargain.

"Alright," he agreed, unable to resist laughing at Wilson's victorious whoop.

"Okay. It's Thursday. I'll take six days holiday, so we can have two weekends. My last appointment is at three, should last half an hour which gives you…" Wilson checked his watch, "a grand total of three hours to go ring shopping."

House smiled to himself, watching as Wilson searched his pockets for his wallet, pulling out a cheque and filling it out with surprising enthusiasm before handing it to House.

"This is blank. But," and he placed a severe emphasis on the word, "I am paying for yours. Not mine. And if they don't match, I'll rip you apart," he took a deep breath, steadying himself quickly, "I'll book the flights in between appointments. They'll probably be at some ridiculous hour in the morning, which gives us time to pack, at least. Did I miss anything?"

"Kitchen sink?"

"Yeah. Your apartment's not gonna be big enough for three of us."

House stared, unable to believe how badly that joke had backfired, until Wilson smiled.

"Kidding. We'll sort that out later. I have to go; I'm already late for… Oh God, I don't even know. She's gonna cry. I hate it when they cry."

Wilson sighed, and, not entirely sure what to do, House settled for placing a hand on his shoulder, surprised to find that it wasn't only Wilson's bewildered look that made him smile.

"Relax. It's not like you haven't done all this before."

"Oh, I nearly forgot," Wilson's sarcasm was friendly, though, and he smiled, albeit a little shakily, as he turned to make his way back to his office.

"Wilson," House called after him, a slightly nervous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as what was happening began to sink in. Wilson turned, hand resting on the door handle, and House suddenly realised how nervous those clinic patients felt. "Thanks."

Wilson nodded once, acknowledging as much as he knew House was comfortable with before heading off, and House was left to his thoughts. It was weird. Very, very weird. He was marrying his best friend. What if they didn't adopt? Would they stay married?

Were they going to invite anyone to the ceremony? Or just keep it private until someone asked? Cameron's expression, for one, would be pretty priceless.

House smiled to himself. A quiet ceremony it was. If… that was what Wilson wanted.

It never occurred to him that all Wilson wanted was for him to be happy.

OoOoO

I've made an effort to make this as accurate as possible, given that there is no chance in hell House would be allowed to adopt a child. However, I am British. My beta is British. And so I am at a disadvantage when it comes to things I don't know to look up. So if I make any mistakes you believe are based on my nationality rather than a creative license, as it were, I'd like you to let me know.

I would like to know some honest opinions about this. Because I'm not entirely sure it's going to work, although I will try my best.