The Beast Within

- Chapter 15

Unsure Dean stood in front of room 101.

He noticed that the original door had been ripped out of its frame and yellow "Do Not Cross – Crime Scene" tape was now wrapped around the frame and a make shift door that had been put in its place to seal the room off form people like him.

Dean had no problem ignoring the "do not enter" police warning pinned on the door and instead sneaked into the place through the bathroom window in the back. No one said anything about not entering through the window.

With his little pocket torch he discreetly lit up the place and what he saw almost grossed him out. The white outline on the floor indicated where the body was found…and another outline were the head was found. Dean took a deep breath and let his torch follow the blood splatter around the room. They were everywhere, even on the ceiling; Dean had to be careful not to leave a new shoeprints in that sticky mess on the blood-soggy carpet.

He stared perplexed at the remains of the original door now on the bed in the middle of the room. He wondered who or what had the beastly strength to pop it out of the frame like that and catapult it across the room that far.

Much to his concern he didn't find any indication of anything usual going on though, no sulphur around the windows for example and the EMF he'd snatched from the Impala sensed zilch.

Slightly disappointed and greatly disgusted Dean left through the back window again. Once outside he wasn't sure what to do next. His head was buzzing with thoughts and questions how Sammy fitted into all this. A million possibilities ran though his head like a noisy Amtrak train towing lots of wagons, but none of them had the writing "Sam is an innocent bystander" on them.

Could it be that Sam had gone insane…? Dean's eyes widened then squinted again and he immersed himself in deep thought, covering his mouth with his left hand. Was it possible that the old man had broken him…? Dean suddenly felt very weak around the knees again and sick to his stomach, but he fought against the feeling of throwing up as best he could. There would be a logical explanation, there always was. Leaning forward against the outside wall of the motel with outstretched arms, he tried to calm his breathing. No need to panic, Dean. You can do this! He is still your brother and you will make sure to look out for him, no matter what's wrong with him!

He managed to compose his postured and decided not to alert Bobby until he found out for sure what the hell was going on here. I have to face this straight on, he thought, nodding to himself swallowing down his fear, there is no other way,

When Dean returned to their room Sam must have just gotten out of the bathroom as he had a towel wrapped a round his hips, his face was clean now, his hair still wet.

"I see you have come to you senses again" Dean started off a little frosty "How are you feeling now?"

Sam felt terrible. It felt as if he had dreamed it all, but the stale and rusty taste in his mouth was an awful reminder. At least the cold shivers had stopped.

"Sam, tell me is this why this old son of a bitch had tied you up in the basement in the first place?" he asked callously.

Sam just stood there clenching the towel, still staring on the floor, unable to answer. He suddenly felt trapped and embarrassed by Dean's harsh questions.

"You know, I just went to the room. I had to see it for myself! I know what happened!" Dean was trying very hard not to vent his anger but it was so damn hard right now. Sam suddenly looked up; he looked worried, almost in tears.

"You do?"

"There is just one thing that I can't get my.." Dean sneered sarcastically "..get my head around Sam! Why was his head ripped off like cotton candy and who or what would do such a nasty thing!?"

It startled Sam that Dean would suddenly raise his voice with him. He seemed truly upset.

"Was…was there a girl?" Sam asked carefully.

"Yes, there was. The police took her away last night..this morning..whenever! So you admit you have been there?"

"I.." Sam made 2 steps towards his brother, but halted as Dean immediately backed away from him to keep a healthy distance between them, just until he found out what he was dealing with here.

Sam understood and remained still. He bowed his head again in shame.

"I know you are scared…" Sam said sadly.

"Scared? Of my own brother? Well, should I, Sam? Should I be scared? I don't know! What else are you not telling me?" He was angry and at a loss here throwing his hands in the air with frustration and doing a half turn so he didn't have to look at his miserable brother for a moment "What happened to you a few months back? Why do you think this would scare me anymore that the usual crap we are dealing with? You should tell me these things, Sammy!!" he couldn't help but raise his voice as he turned around glaring at his brother.

"..because I am scared!" Sam yelled back.

"Yeah, well…so you should! So was it you that killed that guy down the corridor?"

"I think so.."

"Don't you remember?" Dean demanded impatiently.

Sam shook his head looking at his brother, his face in pain.

"Only the girl…so she is ok.. I didn't…?" Sam whimpered, worried that he had hurt the girl in his rage.

"I think you didn't hurt her though she probably needs counselling for the rest of her life"

Sam only commented that with a tormented look.

"But why the guy, what did he do? Did he attack you? Was it a demon and what the hell happened to his head?"

"I don't know…I..just remember that I was very angry at him about something..and he smelled really bad.."

Dean frowned in disbelief "You killed him coz he smelled bad?" mocking him irritated.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" panicking because Dean had misunderstood him.

"Again! The head? It didn't just pop off by itself, or did it? Explain this to me, please!"

"I wish I could" Sam said close to tears.

"At least try Sammy. I am really struggling to understand any of this" Dean found a more reassuring tone hoping to put Sam more at ease to open up and share.

Sam looked up, his eyes all moist, his face scrunched up like a sad little puppy.

"I think I have killed him Dean!" Sam's voice was frail as he couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"But how Sammy? How?"

"I…" Sam was fighting with himself and the memory of what he had done. "I think I ..might…have…" the words were failing him now. He felt so guilty in front of Dean.

"Have what? Come one Sammy! Don't shut down now!"

Sam looked up and all he could do now was to gesture around his mouth.

Dean stirred his index finger around his own mouth in response to the gesture.

"What does that mean? That you can't talk anymore?"

Sam wished he could just run away.

"I might have…bitten it off…" Sam mumbled, getting ready for Dean's explosive rant.

Dean blinked, then he wanted to say something, but his lips only formed a silent "w" then he looked puzzlefused again and then his lips attempted to form an "o" but that didn't seem right either, so Dean gave up to say anything to that other than "Huh"

Suddenly it was Sam though who found his words again instead.

"I am monster Dean, and I have been trying to hide it from you since you found me, but last night…I couldn't hold back..I couldn't hold..the monster back, Dean!" Sam was overwhelmed by his sudden self-hate over his own weakness.

"Wait! Skip back to the part where you say that you are a monster." Dean said displaying the usual blank look of ignorance. This was a little too much for him to comprehend right now. Why couldn't things be easy just once!

Sam sat down on the edge of his bed with a deep sigh, allowing his head to droop again.

"What if I had also hurt the girl Dean?"

Damn, what do you say when your brother tells you he is a monster, Dean wondered.

He decided to ignore that disturbing revelation for a minute pushing himself forward and also sitting down on the edge of his own bed, facing Sam.

"But you didn't Sam! It's still you in there Sammy, and I trust that you can control it! Whatever it is! In fact, I am beginning to wonder if we cannot use this thing to our advantage."

Sam lifted his head looking utterly shocked and surprised.

"How can this be good? Are you not listening? I am a monster! The old man was right to keep me down in the basement! I am a danger. What if I hurt you?"

"Damn, I was afraid you would say that. Look, at the moment all we have is a mauled guy down the hall and you covered in blood. I am sure there is a logical explanation to it all" Somehow those words didn't sound so convincing when spoken out loud, Dean thought.

"Yeah Dean, that I killed the guy by tearing his head off coz I am a monster! That's your explanation right there!"

"Why are you still trying to convince me? We always knew that the day would come when you…I don't know what! But you are still my little brother and we are going to figure this out together, ok? Promise me you won't keep any more secrets though?

"I try."

"And promise you won't rip my head off while I'm asleep…or awake for that matter!" Dean said managing to make Sam smile a little again.

"Good, now let's go and grab some breakfast, I am starving!"

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