Me: We'll, here's a little Naruto story that my friend Ranma helped me think up. Thanks for the inspiration Ranma!

Naruto: Mermaid does not own Naruto in anyway possible! And she never will…If she did I believe most of the male population would be gay…

Me: I resent that Naruto! Not all of the male population…Just most of them….

Temari: Do you not think you should be getting on with your story instead of wasting you're time talking to the shrimp?

Naruto: SHRIMP?!

Me: You're quite right Temari…Then…Let us begin!


Chapter one: I remember.

(Naruto's P.O.V)

"Naruto Uzumaki! I here by sentence you to one year in this form!"

And that's how it all began…

I never planned this you know. You would of thought that Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage to Konoha , would of thought better then to do the 'Sexy Jutsu' with granny Tsunade around…

I mean, it wasn't exactly my fault! I was provoked! Dattebayo!

So I guess I better tell you what happened right?

It all started this morning, your average morning...

I had made myself a pot ramen for breakfast, miso flavour, my favorite! Although it would have been better without the three minute wait…

After having my ramen and milk for breakfast I had headed down to the training grounds to meet with Sensei, the wonderful Sakura and…Sasuke-teme, how I hate that Uchiha…

I was waiting patiently for sensei to arrive when I thought I'd try and make conversation with Sasuke to lighten the mood…That and the fact he was the only one here and I couldn't stand the silence anymore…

So yer, I was going about my business, just trying to strike up conversation when all of a sudden Sasuke just point blankly insulted me! How dare he insult me! Me! I was only being nice!.

"Hm. Dobe."

"Wanna say that again Sasuke-teme?!" I growled out getting in his face, I know that irritates him.

"What? Were you too slow to catch it last time? D.O.B.E!"

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!" Ok so at this point I had officially lost my cool, I guess it was because Sakura-chan wasn't there to keep me calm…

I remember that it was like slow motion, I had launched myself at him, pinning him to the ground and when I had turned to face him, he still had that arrogant smirk of his on his face…I would just love to wipe that smirk off! (Me: Oh really Naruto? And in what way exactly? ((wink wink)) / Naruto: Stop it you Yaoi freak!)

I remember Sasuke had flipped me over so he was then on top (Naruto: You say anything to the sentence mermaid! And i wont be held responsible for my actions/ Me: Hey, you're the one that just thought it! not me!) and I saw him pull the kunai from his back pocket. I remember feeling the cool metal pressed lightly against my neck.

"Who wins yet again Dobe?"

"You think you've one? Don't make me laugh teme!"

"And what is someone as high and mighty as you going to do about it?!" Sasuke had growled that out at me challenging, and i could feel my anger beginning to rise.

I remember his cold eyes staring right into my glistening blue ones.

"Take you down that's what Sasuke!" I growled out as I immediately kicked him off me with my feet.

Yet again me and Sasuke had somehow ended up in a fight, we both had are kunai's out, pressed against each others as we pushed all are strength into them, trying to overpower the other...I don't even know why Sasuke-teme was even trying! i was so going to kick ass and win!

We both gave one final shove and jumped back a few feet, placing are Kunai's in front of us protectively, i could feel Sasuke's intense glare borring a hole in me even from this distance...Wow...That guy really needs to chill...he's far to uptight!

Suddenly i found a kunai coming my way and let a string of some rather nasty words leave my mouth as i tried to dodge all the kunai and shuriken Sasuke was throwing at me, jumping into the air to avoid a low thrown one before landing back down and ducking to avoid another...Damn Sasuke's aim...I'm still better Dammit!

After dodging all of the kunai i proceeded to grab my own kunai, smirking slightly as i thought of a plan in my head that may leave the uchiha stunned...

Throwing a kunai i watched as the uchiha reflected it aim with his own weapon before i proceeded to throw five more at him, making the sign for the shadow clone jutsu as i whispered the words under my breath so only i could hear.

The Uchiha just smirked that cocky arrogant smirk again, and i found the temptation to just walk up to him and punch him rising...

I let my own smirk cover my face as the kunai suddenly multiplied into hundreds before they all immediately turned into my clones and launched themselves upon Sasuke, effectively bundling him...Serves the damn teme right, no one should under-estimate Uzumaki Naruto! No one!

Suddenly i heard what could only be described as thousands of birds chirping, you know the high squeaky kinda chirps, and i stood still for a second trying to work out what the heck it was before my eyes widened and i watched in slight horror as all my clones were thrown off of Sasuke in a blue of blue, disappearing in a puff of smoke...

As i looked back at Sasuke i saw he had begun to charge a second Chidori up and i gulped slightly before my eyes widened as he began to charge at me, sparks of blue lightning coming from the Chidori...

"Ah Crap..." I mumbled before i made sign for another clone jutsu and immediately powered up my own Rasengan and began to run at Sasuke. Hm, i wonder if Sakura was going to just randomly pop out of nowhere again like last time and stop are match...

It didn't look like it as are two jutsu's clashed and we both tried desperately to over power each other again.

Suddenly we found are selves thrown back from the force, i found myself flung into a near by tree, my back aching as it came into contact with the hard bark.

As i shook of the sudden dizziness, i looked up so see Sasuke standing up and making his hand signs for a jutsu...I wondered what jutsu he was going to use until he yelled the words.

"Fire style, Phoenix fireball jutsu!"

I cringed at those words before registering that they were being aimed at me.

"Shit!"

I waited for the impact, but finding none i looked up to see a figure in front of me, on closer inspection the said figure appeared to be Kakashi...Ah thanks Sensei!...Wait a minute...Sensei just caught us fighting didn't he? ... Ah crap busted!

I smiled sheepishly as Kakashi looked at me with his one visible eye, clearly showing he was slightly irritated as he grabbed me by the hand and proceeded to drag me over to where Sasuke was sitting, fuming on the ground.

"A-ah sensei! how nice to see you! nice weather huh?"

"Mm, yes lovely weather Naruto, the bright warm sun is really something huh?...Now...WHY THE HECK WHERE YOU TWO FIGHTING AGAIN?!" I cringed as Sensei took a sudden tone with us, and i could swear i saw thunder crack in the distance...

"Erm...well...you see...hehe...funny story really...IT'S ALL SASUKE-TEME'S FAULT!"

"Naruto, Hokage-sama will see you now." Shizune said politely as she beckoned me in, smiling in sympathy.

"And don't do anything silly, she's in a rather bad tempered mood Naruto-kun."

"SHIZUNE! I HEARD THAT! GET ME SOME SAKE-I MEAN TEA! NOW!" A yell was thrown at Shizune from the hokages room and i watched as the poor women stuttered a reply to her hokage before running out to get some Sake for Obaa-chan.

"NARUTO! GET IN HERE NOW!"

"Alright already Obaa-chan!"

"If you have a death wish kid, your doing a great job of making it come true..." Tsunade growled at me as i walked into her room and stood in front of her desk. I figured Sasuke had already been given his punishment and had gone of to mope around somewhere, heh, stupid Sasuke-teme.

Looking around the room i noticed Iruka standing off quietly in the far of corner, looking rather disappointed in me, and i smiled sheepishly towards him before he shook his head.

"The fifth time this week...Fifth time you and Sasuke have gotten into rather serious fights...If you cannot get along, then we shall force you too! i hear by sentence you to two months of community service at the academy! you will hear by be under Iruka's supervision, anything he tells you to do you must obey! from scrubbing the toilets, to cleaning the graffiti off of the walls, all of these tasks shall be done by hand, and to make sure you don't use any jutsu's to help...A binding jutsu shall be placed on you to restrict your chakra from being used!" Tsuanade almost yelled at me, an edge to her voice.

S-she was going to do WHAT?! No! She cant! without my chakra i cant be a proper ninja...all my skills...gone! no way! I'm not going to stand for this!

So i was going to do what any upstanding ninja in my position would do.

"Iruka sensei! please no! not my chakra dammit! that's my life! come on sensei! i thought you cared about me! You can let Obaa-chan do this to me!" I practically got on my hands and knee's in front of Iruka and begged, hopefully trying to make him feel the slightest bit if sympathy for me.

"I'm sorry Naruto...But orders are orders. I cannot disobey the ho-"

At that moment i formed my hands for my ultimate justu and shouted the words for it before anyone could stop be.

"Transform! Sexy Jutsu style!"

I stood in front of Iruka in my female self, blushing slightly to give it more effect as i bowed in front of Iruka.

"P-please Iruka sensei, don't let them take the only think i have left from me...Please?" I asked in my quiet female voice, tears appearing in the corners of my eyes as i mustered my cutest pout.

"Ill do anything...Anything Iruka-sensei" I replied again, putting some female emphasis into the 'sensei'.

Needless to say Iruka was bowled over...literally, he fell to the ground in a heap of twitches and blood that fell from his nose.

I got down on my hands and knee's so i could stare Iruka in the eye.

"Please? Pretty please? with maybe, a cherry on top?"

At that point, i think Iruka had died from blood loss...Eh, how pervy sage would be proud of me...

"UZUMAKI!"

Shit...Obaa-chans still around!

"What...What is this monstrosity?!"

"Erm, i call it my sexy technique..."

"This is a disgrace to all female kunoinchi! For this Uzumaki, your punishment will be much worse...Oh believe me kid, much worse. I hear by sentence you to one whole year in this form! along with community sentence!" I watched in horror as Obaa-chan performed some seals before slamming her palm to my stomach, winding me slightly before i looked up at her in shock.

I tried to release my jutsu, but it wouldn't...Oh my god! what am i gonna do!? I know! ill just transform into something else! Ha! i bet the old bat didn't think of that one!

Once again i made the signs for the transformation jutsu and tried to summon up my chakra...Notice the word tried in that sentence...

I couldn't even muster one ounce of chakra...Could this possibly get any worse?

"You are to go and apologies to Sasuke, form what i heard you initiated the fight." Tsuande said to me, a smile on her face as she looked at me through a cocky gaze.

"A-apologise?!" Ah crap, i still have a stupid high pitched voice! ah dammit! i cant apologies to Sasuke-teme like this! can you immagine the humiliation?! scrap that! I cant apologies to that teme at all! i have my dignity after all.

"NOW UZUMAKI!"

"Yes maam!" Ah snap.

I was thrown some rather girly clothes to put on and with that i was practically thrown out of Tsunade's office. Damn Obaa-chan.

"Dammit Iruka man! pull yourself together! your a meant to be a fine upstanding Konoha shinobi." I heard a smack that echoed through the hallways and i had to smile. Oh well, at least Iruka-sensei got lectured too, heh, and he's a teacher too...

I rounded the corner looking for the damned Uchiha, fuming, normally i would look pissed off so people would avoid me, but at this point in time, being in my female form, my pissed of face was considered rather 'adorable' as some people put it.

So lets start again, as i walked around Konoha looking for the uchiha, i was being stalked by pervy men.

"Back off Ya bastards!" I yelled at them as i threw some shuriken at them, luckily, Tsunade didn't keep my weapons, something about how i would be more vulnerable in this form...Whatever that means.

"Sasuke?! SASUKE?! DAMMIT SASUKE WERE ARE YOU?!" I screamed out as i placed my hands around my mouth and yelled as loud as i could.

Thanks to my clear hearing a heard a muttered.

"Ah hell no, not a fangirl" From the distance, and as i ran i saw Sasuke about to run for it.

"DAMMIT YOU TE'ME! DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP UCHIHA OR ILL KICK YOUR ASS IN!"

At this Sasuke actually listened to me for once and stopped, and turned to face me...Shocked.

"Naruto?"

"No shit sherlock..."

I could see Sasuke's lips twitching up wards as he tried to keep down a smirk, but his eyes shew it all.

"Dammit Uchiha this isn't funny! i'm a freaking women for pete's sake!"

"I can clearly see that...Naruto..."

"If you'd stop your bloody smirking for a freaking second, i have something to tell you! baka!"

"Usuratonkachi."

"Teme-Wait, quit it! this is what got us into this mess in the first place!"

"Hm, for once your using that non-existent brain of your i see." Sasuke replied to me as he just stared at me blankly.

"Look, shut up and listen will ya?! Tsunade said i had to apologies-"

I saw the smirk finally make it's way to his pale face, and i felt my left eye twitch slightly, before i smiled sweetly at him, hey, being like this has it's perks you know?

I got closer to him, my smile still on my face as i once again plastered a fake blush to my face.

"But you know what Sasuke-kun?"

I laughed silently in my head at the look on Sasuke's face, he looked very confused and freaked out at this moment.

"I'M NOT FREAKING GONNA TEME!" I yelled in his ear before walking off and leaving Sasuke still cringing.

I smiled brightly as i continued walking away from the stunned Uchiha before someone suddenly slammed me into the nearest wall.

"You do that again Usuratonkachi and i'll-"

"Oh please Sasuke-kun! not in public! you're sure being a naughty boy aren't you?" I said in a very innocent voice as i looked at the shocked and quite red face of Sasuke before looking to see the rather stunned faces of some couples walking past rather quickly.

"Such a crude young man to try and do that to such a lovely innocent girl!" The lady whispered to her partner as they continued to walk along.

"Hey honey, what every floats it for him." The man chuckled as he placed his arm around her waist and they walked of into the distance.

While Sasuke was still stunned i took this as my chance to slip from his grasp and make a run for it, still laughing insanely in my mind as i made for my house.

Sure, i was now female...But one thing was for sure, i was going to enjoy torturing Sasuke like this...Oh yes...

Thing's were about to get very interesting.


Me: And that's the first chapter, please let me know what you think, criticism is much appreciated as i know i have grammar and spelling problems...dammit.

Anyway thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoyed it.