(I'm back! With ANGST! Huzzah! Anyways... I got this idea from the Grand Festival, which I was watching awhile back. I thought it strange that Harley would say 'trust no one', and... I ran with it. Really, really, REALLY, ran with it. As you can see.
Cookieshipping? Possibly... onesided? If I write a sequel, you'll see, I guess. –shrugs- But anyways, this is just a little insight into what might have been Harley's life. One last thing; not-too-graphic descriptions of abuse, sexual and otherwise. You've been warned.
This entire thing was also written to spite Harley-bashers; TAKE THAT! He's not evil, just misunderstood! Or something... –nods- And it's in his POV.)
May, I'm sorry.
I didn't want to act like I did. Like I do. But it's better this way. If you learn not to trust, you'll be so much better off.
Do you know, May, why I torment you? Why I chase after you, and say that I hate you? Do you know why I make you cry?
No.
I didn't think so. I didn't think you would. But I told you why, May; you just didn't believe me. At the Grand Festival... I said, "You can't trust anyone!" I ruined your Appeal; thankfully, you got in anyway.
And believe me, May; I did it for your own good.
Do you know where trust gets you?
It gets you alone, broken, and hated. It gets you disbelieved and silenced. I was only trying to make sure that what happened to me will never, ever happen to you.
Why, May? Simple. Because I love you.
But even I... I can't be trusted. I would hurt you. I would continue the cycle of abuse. And I don't want that. So I hope, that please, you believe me.
You can never trust anyone. I trusted in the man I loved, my... my father...
And he did things to me. He did things to me, May, and I lost all sense of myself. He was my father. He shouldn't have... but I don't think it would've stopped him. Even if I had said no. In any case, I was alone. And since no one ever came to help me, I felt...
Broken... hated... something that deserved everything I got. I believed I was less than human, a piece of meat my father could gnaw at like a rabid dog.
I deserved my father's beatings, his things, his little horrific acts that left me confused and scared at night.
And my mother...
Bless her, she tried. But I couldn't trust her, either. Nor could I trust myself. I told her... she told him to get out, never come near us again... but she left me alone to go tell the police. And she left me alone, and he got back in, and...
I don't want to even think about it. However, he escaped before the police came, and... they couldn't convict him. They had no evidence but my testimony; and I was a scared kid, unaware of the weight my words had.
I couldn't trust the judges. I couldn't trust my mother, who had left me alone for one more act of shame and hatred.
Just like every other kid, I went back to school. But unlike the other kids, I began to like boys and girls. So, then, none of them liked me. Everyone avoided me; I was impure, tainted by an adult. They weren't, and they didn't want to catch my impurities.
I don't blame them, even now. I wouldn't have wanted to be my friend, either.
I took pictures. I sat there and snapped picture after picture. And I found solace in capturing other's emotions.
It was fun.
The time came, when I turned ten, to start out on my pokemon journey. Mom couldn't afford a ticket to Littleroot; so she bought me a few pokeballs, and sent me out past Slateport, to where the wild pokemon lived.
I, being an idiot, got myself stuck in quicksand. And, thankfully, I was saved by a young Cacnea. I was so elated; a pokemon! A pokemon! I asked him to come with me on my journey, and he said yes.
I was on top of the world when I was your age, May. I was a cheerful little Coordinator; I never made it past the Appeals round of the Grand Festivals I had gone to before I met you, but me and my pokemon were just happy we participated.
One day, when I turned fourteen, I got news; my father had died of an overdose of prescription medication. I wasn't thrilled... I just felt... empty. And maybe the tiniest bit sad.
I've been all over Hoenn with my pokemon, you know; but no matter where I go, I am dogged by hatred. Other Coordinators look down on me for my prickliness. Other men call me a 'faggot'. Women are afraid to date someone who looks like a woman.
But I keep up, I keep fighting. I see that same spirit in you, May. I see someone who was born a fighter. I hope your family is proud of you.
I won't ever know if mine is. For just a few days after my dad died, my mother...
It was a quick death. And it left me alone just as fast.
That one little part of me that was a child, still, after all this time, died with the realization; I was completely alone. My mother had been the only human being in the world that loved me.
You, in contrast, loved everyone in the world, and were loved back in return.
The innocence I had, once upon a time, I see it in you, May. And it was never shattered, like mine was. Why did the Fates pick me to ruin, and not you? I don't know. I wish I could get an answer sometimes.
My pokemon... my pokemon love me, sure, but I ache for a human's love. Someone who can talk to me. Make me think I'm wanted in this world. That I'm needed.
And I saw you. You were that girl who could make be believe it, I knew. But I also knew you were young. You were happy, whole. I was broken and miserable. So I pretended to be insulted by your naivety.
And I knew that I had to push you away from me. I would only hurt you. It was in my nature to be hurt, and hurt back in return.
So I humiliated you, pretended to be your friend, only to betray you. I felt guilty, but it was my only choice. I left, annoyed that you had beaten me, but I knew now I wouldn't hurt you.
You say... that I might have hurt her by being dishonest? By resorting to lies and trickery to push her away?
Well, whatever I did to her was far better than what I could have done.
I came out and said it in the Grand Festival. You can't trust anyone. Don't, May, for the love of Latias, don't.
I see that boy. Drew? You trust him, about as much as you distrust me. You adore him, follow him liked a sopping lovesick twit.
I know he doesn't feel that way for you, May. I've seen him with a few other girls; he seems happy.
I'd break your heart to know it, and I wish I could tell you, but you'd never believe me.
In Kanto. Do you remember? I was in the Grand Festival again with you. You and I fought, I lost, once again. But I saw that you hated me.
Good. I wanted that. I wanted you to learn never to trust anyone, because they'd hurt you, lie to you, break you.
I just wanted you to understand what life does to you, May. I'm... I'm sorry if I made you cry, and I know I must have at least once.
It's been awhile now, I think. We're in Johto, but no matter where I go, I can't escape my past...
May?
Would you believe me if... if I told you all this? Would you listen to me? Would you love me so much that you would go against everything I tried to teach to you—just to believe me?
I think...
I think I can try. Maybe for once, I'll tell someone. Maybe you'll believe me. And maybe...
Maybe I can learn something from you.
Maybe some people... can be trusted.
And if I can only trust one person in the world...
I'd rather it be you.