"Ahh… That fucking hurts, doesn't it, bitch?"

"No, no, please, don't – Nggh…"

"Ooh, yeah, right in the stomach. That feels so damn good."

Sacrificing a poor imbicile who passed me and looked at me wrong. That's what the bastard gets for it. He gets to face the wrath of my god, Jashin, the ultimate god of destruction and death.

"Please…" It excites me so much to see them on the ground, begging for my mercy. It makes me want to fuck them up even more. Their blood pooling beneath them, their taste on the tip of my tongue as I initiate my rituals, their screams of pain ringing in my ears. The satisfaction is so… thrilling? Is that the word? I don't fucking know anymore.

"Be grateful, you get to fucking meet Jashin-sama in death! However, in your case, I really don't think Jashin is going to give a shit about you."

My sacrifice starts crying. How sad. He's also trembling to no end, sobbing loudly, screaming in pure agony.

As if I give a rat's ass.

"Too bad you can't live through this wonderful pain. Ah, that feels so fucking good…"

I stab myself in my thigh, which makes the person I'm sacrificing feel the same thing. I stab myself, they get stabbed in the same spot. Get the point?

"And now, for the grand finale. You fucking ready for this shit? Yeah, it hurts good, doesn't it?"

"No… p-please… don't do it. Please don't… kill me." Blood gushes out from his mouth. I'm assuming that's from stabbing in the stomach, because my mouth is now filled with my own metallic blood.

"Prepare yourself, bastard!!" Ever so slowly the pike drives into my heart. "Fu-u-uck…" I fall to my knees, the blinding pain so excrutiating. So mind-blowing. So… exhilirating.

The man stopped all movements and sounds, and I lay there, praying to Jashin. Not three minutes later I start coughing up my own damned blood, nearly choking on it. I sit up and remove the pike, keeping my prayer short. My eyes stare as my scarlet liquid puddles around me. It's kind of sticky on my fingertips.

I gaze around my surroundings. The woods, filled with trees and brush and animals. Well, the animals all ran away, anyway. Probably did some fucking good for them, too.

I'd ran into this fucker on this dirt road. He'd glanced my way – a bad mistake. That's when I started my ritual. The man's blood garnished my triple-bladed scythe, and drew Jashin's infamous symbol on the ground – a circumscribed triangle enclosed in a circle – and do whatever I so please. Only catch: I have to stay inside the circle, else I'm dead. No, wait—never mind… I keep forgetting that Death can't knock on my doorstep. Even if he chopped off my fucking head.

Sent on a mission with Deidara. He'd gone up ahead to observe our situation from our standpoint. Gone up into the air on one of his fucking birds to look around. I'm kind of glad he did – if he was here he'd be hassling me about my rituals, about how they fucking take up too much time. Well, it's about time he realizes that I don't fucking enjoy praying to Jashin for hours at a time. I have to do it.

Plus he hassles me all the time about practicing chastity. Who gives a flying fuck? Why would he care if anyone got into my pants anyway? It's what I do, it's against the laws of Jashin to be having sex. Yeah, I want to do it every so once in a while, but I keep to myself. I go off somewhere else that's closed off and take care of it. Problem solved. Big whoop. I'm not like Deidara, Mister I Can Get Whoever I Want No Problem, or Mister I Have Two Extra Mouths To Help Me, Un. I don't really care for others. All I care about is Jashin and pain. Besides, who knows what would happen to me if I do fuck someone? I would get fucked over, that's what. And I don't want to find out how, either. I like staying on Jashin's fucking good side… as if he had one.

Five minutes later the blonde flies down from the sky, landing a few yards away from me.

"Where the fuck you been, Deidara? You've deen gone for over a half-hour."

"My apologies, Hidan-san, un. I ran into some difficulties. Had to obliterate any witnesses."

I roll my eyes at Deidara. His speech impediment always gets to me. Kinda cute if the blabbermouth would shut the fuck up every so once in a while. It gets annoying hearing him talk all the fucking time and hearing that 'un' deal. It's funny a couple times, but after about ten hundred times it gets on my nerves. Then I tell him to shut the fuck up and he does… for twenty minutes.

"Why are you covered in blood, Hidan, un?"

"Sacrifice. Some fucking bastard looked at me wrong."

"I guess so. Well, climb on, we have to get moving. A trail of blood like that and we're bound to get tracked as if we walked in a foot of snow, hn."

"Yeah, yeah…" I climb on, instantly regretting it.

Cold. That's the one thing about it that I don't like. I can stand being stabbed in the fucking heart, have my head blown up, amputate all my arms and legs… but not cold. And up in the air is exactly what that is. Cold.

"Fuck, it's so fucking cold up here, Deidara, why the hell do we have to go up so damned high?"

"Because, un, otherwise we'll be spotted more easily and we want to avoid that. You know how we have to stay undercover."

"I don't give a fuck! We killed the guy already, why do we have to be incognito this time around?"

"Because it's irrational otherwise, un, don't you understand? Leader-sama told us—"

"I don't care what Leader says. I hate being cold, you fucking know that, bitch."

"Fine."

To my greatest surprise, Deidara leaned against me. I pull away, shocked.

"The fuck are you doing?!"

"Trying to keep you warm, un. Are you going to keep complaining?" He stares at me with his right eye, his face set as stone. I roll my eyes and groan.

"Fuck it… Fine, fine, fine. Do whatever the fuck you want. Don't blame me if you get covered in blood, though."

He leaned on me again. The contact was nice, I suppose, except that I was wet and the wind made it worse. I start to shiver. A hot spring sure sounded good at that moment…

A minute later: "Deidara, when the fuck do we get back to the hideout?"

"I don't know, three days at the most, un?"

"Is there a hot spring around here somewhere? I could use a good one." I arch my back, popping a few bones in my spine. That felt so much better.

"I think so, about an hour's travel from here. Some wild hot spring, you know, not a commercial one."

I twist my head to the side, popping my bones in my neck. They made a sickening cracking sound – at least to Deidara. He grimaced slightly when I popped my neck. I proceeded to my fingers and wrists, thinking his reaction was hilarious as hell.

"Gross, Hidan, don't do that or I won't take you to the spring."

"Whatever, I'm done anyway." I shake my hands to loosen them up a little, satisfied with the result. "Just get there. I'm cold and I'm tired, and a nice hot bath is the most appealing at the moment."

"Whatever you say, Hidan. Just for you, un." He rolled his eyes at me.