All I Can Do

[DL Set after [4.13 – All In The Family They both knew he would be able to pull through this.

Disclaimer: The plot's mine, just borrowing the rest.

You haven't left in a while
When you can't even fake a smile
When you feel ashamed
The uniform don't make you brave
All I can do is love you to pieces
Give you a shoulder to cry when you need it
Chantal Kreviazuk – All I Can Do

A/N:- I am aware that there's probably a multitude of fics written about Danny's storyline this season but I decided to go ahead and write this anyway since it's been awhile since I've written Danny/Lindsay and I had this whirling around in my head for weeks.

'Give him his space' had been the advice Flack had given her and although she knew he was right, it took all her self restraint not to pick up the phone and call him. Anyone else would probably resent the fact that they had been forced to spend the day talking to their boyfriend's voicemail and covering for him at work but the truth was she knew a little of what he was going through and perhaps giving him his space was the best thing she could do at the moment.

Sighing, she went into her bedroom and changed into one of the T-shirts Danny had left at her place and which she had subsequently taken ownership of. She hated that wearing this shirt had been the closest she had gotten to him in the past few weeks. He had gone from being a constant fixture in her life to being barely around and although she had left messages and tried to talk to him at work he only responded half heartedly to her suggestions of dinner with a 'maybe later'. Retrieving her book from her bedside table and heading back into the living room, she wondered whether it was the universe's sick way of putting her in the shoes he had worn all last year. She was definitely getting an idea of what it was like for him when she had refused to let him in.

She curled up on the sofa trying her best to ignore the itch to reach for the phone every five minutes and she had barely read two pages when the doorbell rang and she groaned inwardly, regretting the day she had ever agreed to keep Mrs Stevenson's spare key …. but it wasn't her neighbour at all.

"Hey." Danny said standing in her hallway, hands in his jeans pocket looking like he hadn't slept in days.

"Hi." She said surprised. She stared at him for a minute like she didn't actually believe he was here before opening the door and letting him in.

Instead of taking off his shoes and heading over to the sofa like he would usually do he just stood there looking at her.

"I'm sorry."

His words hung there and Lindsay frowned slightly momentarily trying to figure out what he was apologising for. "It's okay." He blinked at her like he was confused and she wondered whether he was going through the self-punishing part of his grief and he had come round tonight to hear her shout at him. "Okay it's not okay." She said changing her mind. "I'm your girlfriend Danny and you can't expect to just push me out of your life at a time when you probably need me the most ……" She trailed off and walked into the kitchen to get a drink and she heard him follow her.

She gulped down the water, put down the glass and turned to face him. "I'm sorry Danny I can't do it. I can't be a hypocrite and be mad at you … not when I understand what you're going through." She said giving him a sad smile. "I'm just glad to see you." She said giving him a hug. It felt so good to feel his arms go around her and hold her close.

"Thank you." He said quietly, burying his face in her hair.

He hadn't realised how much he needed to see her until he was actually here with her. The past couple of weeks had been a struggle trying to pull himself through it all and console Rikki at the same time that he had shut out everything and everyone else.

"I kind of forgot that I don't need to go through this alone." He said looking at her sheepishly.

"It's nice to know I'm easily forgotten." She smiled, kissing him softly before leading him over to the sofa.

"You know what I mean." He said taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry you had to cover for me with Mac. I know how you hate lying to him."

"It was fine." Lindsay said. "……. Although I don't think he really believed me so if you could look like you're on death's door when you go in tomorrow it would really help." She joked but looking at him now with the dark bags under his eyes and the colour gone from his cheeks she didn't think he'd even have to try too hard.

He took off his glasses and rubbed his face into his hands. "Sorry Linds I'm going to be lousy company tonight."

"You're always lousy company." She teased managing to coax a half-smile out of him before she turned serious again. "Danny you know I'm not going to ask you to talk and let it all out because I'm not really the best person to be doling out that kind of advice but just so you know, if you ever want to talk or just vent, I'm here."

Danny looked at her gratefully before dropping his gaze to his hands again. There was something he wanted to ask her but the last thing he wanted to do was dig up the past and cause her additional pain.

She seemed to sense this and forced him to look at her. "What is it?"

He hesitated for a minute before looking at her. "Can I ask you something about what happened to you in Montana?"

Lindsay looked at him a little surprised. They had never spoken about it even when he had flown out to Bozeman to be with her. He had just been there by her side throughout it all unquestionably. "Of course." She said, drawing her knees up to her chest and leaning against the arm of the chair. It had been several months since she'd spoken about anything to do with the past with anyone and although what had happened would always be with her, it seemed that she had finally gotten a certain amount of closure.

Danny looked at her worriedly. "Are you sure? It's just it's not something we've ever talked about and I don't want to feel like I'm-"

"Danny it's okay. You can ask me anything." She said, resting her hand on top of his.

Danny held her gaze. She seemed so sure and confident like she really had managed to move on and wasn't just pretending anymore. He hoped that one day he could put Ruben's death behind him too. "How did you deal with it all? The grief and the guilt? How do you make it all go away?"

Lindsay tilted her head to the side recalling her teenage years spent withdrawn and alone and then the past year where she had tried to keep everyone, including him, at arm's length. "You don't." She said quietly. "You live with it and it's unbearable for awhile but then it fades slightly and it's just this kind of numbness that creeps up on you in waves every now and again. It's tough, especially doing the kind of job we do, but you learn to push through it." She paused. "If you're lucky and you meet someone who's always going to be there for you, someone you trust, someone who can always bring you out of your dark moments then you'll gradually realize that your friends - Ruben - would want you to be happy and that to move on with your life doesn't mean that you will ever forget them."

Danny exhaled softly like a small part of the tension and grief that had been consuming him had finally managed to be released. Everything she had said made perfect sense. He had been trying so hard to get over something which only time could make better.

"Hmmm. You know where I can find someone like that?"

Lindsay hit him playfully. "You better watch it you."

Danny smiled his first real smile for ages and drew her into a long tender kiss. It was times like this he felt so lucky to have her.

"Shall I order Chinese?" She asked, reaching for the phone.

Danny shook his head. "I'm going to show you how to cook my special lasagne."

"You sure? We can do it some other day. You've had a long day." She said, reaching up and touching his face.

"No you're not getting out of a cooking lesson that easily Montana…….."

……………….

A couple hours later saw her standing at the kitchen sink washing up the dinner plates and he crept up on her resting his hands on her hips, his hair still wet from the shower.

"You're dripping on me." She laughed scooping a handful of bubbles and reaching behind her trying to smother his face in them but he ducked and they flew across the room.

"You don't want to start something you can't finish Montana." He said dangerously reaching into the sink behind her but before he could retaliate she'd grabbed hold of his T-shirt and pressed her lips against his.

"Nice move." Danny grumbled, eventually pulling away.

"Why thank you." She grinned.

He rested his head against hers and moved his fingers through her hair. "I love you." He said before kissing her again.

And they both knew he would be able to pull through this.

A/N:- So yeah I fluffed up the coda...