This is my first GG fanfiction, so I hope I like it. English isn´t my native language, so BIG THANX to sydneysnape for great beta :)

I don´t own Gossip Girl TV serie or books.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names. " (Gone with the Wind)

Blair laid on her bed, which was too big. Her room was too big, too cold. Her entire large and elegant apartment has been so cold and silent almost each day since her father left - and now it was even worse. Her old "friends" were out in the clubs, at the parties, or at least they were drinking gallons of alcohol together and having fun.

She hated that she was locked up in her house of scare, and waiting for nothing. Suddenly, she couldn't take it more. She stood angrily and took her purse.

When she was sitting in the cab on her way to the Palace, she was thinking, 'Why shoud I be still closed at home? I can have fun, can´t I? What´s wrong with me? I´m Blair Waldorf, and I´m still Queen till I choose to quit on my own.'

However, everything changed when she reached the door to Van der Woodsen´s suite. She knocked. Nothing. She then knocked once more, but still nothing. 'Why I´m even thinking that she´s at home?' She automatically reached for her mobil and dialed Serena´s number. There were familiar beep-beep-beep tones.

Heeeeyyy? Serena´s voice yelled crazy to the phone. There was really loud music in background.

Hey, S, where are you? asked Blair, she was confused.

Oh- I´m in Brooklyn- a party- here, she stuttered between words and giggles.

Oh, Blair figured out.

Where- where are you? She tried to yell over the music. Dan- don´t- hey! and Blair could hear more laugter.

Serena?! She could really have used her friend at the moment, but there was no clear response from the other side. Serena!

I caaaaaaan´t hear you! So- have a fun!

´What?!´

How could she be so dumb? Serena had her own life, with her boyfriend, and she didn´t have time to deal with Blair´s neverending problems.

She leaned against the wall opposite of the wooden door, and closed her eyes. Nobody was left. She was all alone and it was nobody´s fault but her own.. But could she acknowledge it?

Fuck, she had murmured as the tears started to fall down her face. Angry tears, painful tears. ´Maybe, I can wait here till Serena will come.´ She was ready to hang on to this small, small hope, but-

Waldorf? She knew that voice, and she didn´t want to hear it.

Oh, it was a voice of the one person she had wanted to see the very least: Chuck Bass, of course. Blair opened her eyes and looked over by where she´d heard the noise.. It was really him. She quickly wiped the tears away (not wanting him to see her cry) and looked down before heading to the elevator past him. He just stood there and watched her, in a way that was so characteristically him. Just as she was passing him, he turned around.

What did you want here? he asked her, getting straight to the point.

She stopped and turned to him, face still down, hiding red eyes and smudged mascara.

I had just come to see Serena. Her answer was nearly silent, and not even she could understand the way she was acting. He told her the terrible things about sweating horses. He had practically caused everything! She should spit at his face! But she couldn´t; She was humiliated, degraded, unwanted- by everyone… She didn´t have any fight left in her.

And what are you doing here? Your suite isn´t in this deck.

I thought my father would be here with my almost-step-mother… Are you going home?

No. I think I´ll wait for her in the hall.

She still didn´t raise her face up, so she couldn´t say anything about the feelings in his face. But his voice wasn´t mocking, it didn´t even seem to be mean.

It´s not good idea. I suppose that she´s going to stay somewhere with Humphrey. I mean- all night.

It doesn´t matter, she sighed out. Nothing did, really.

Oh, please, he snorted.

But Blair had finally reached the elevator and entered in - with Chuck behind her back. With one fast move he´d pressed the button of his deck.

Chuck, please, she whispered and her eyes were already closed before the tears could run out. She was getting used to this crying thing.

He took her arm, with a rather firm grasp, and lead her to his suite. Blair didn´t know what was happening. She was afraid when he slamed the door shut and took advantage of his momentary inattention: she has pulled out of his grasp and was ready to slap him across the face as he turned to face her. Which she did. She felt as though she would do anything in order to prevent whatever was coming next.

He cast his eye upon her, his right cheek red. She stood there, absolutely silent, and her shoulders shook with sobs she had been trying to repress.

Can you tell me why are you crying? he asked angrily. I just thought you would be able to stay here, instead of hall or something... But i can see now that it was just another fucking mistake.

He couldn´t watch her anymore so he passed over to the bar and opened a bottle of scotch.

What did you think? Blair was finally, for the first time, looking him straight in the eye. She was defiant. After all the affairs, after what you told me, you could just drag me to your suite? Her voice had raised, she was yelling.

Like I just said, it´s just another mistake, he downed the entire glass. You can leave, he hissed, locking his cold eyes with her wet ones.

You don´t want be alone, do you? She said knowingly, with irritable smirk as she stood on the other side of the bar and rested her elbows on the desk. Maybe you thought you weren´t alone, but you´re just like me, and you know it, she teased slowly.

It was too much. He slammed down the glass and looked to Blair.

Agreed. Are you satisfied now?

No! She had lost the rest of her self-control. You absolutely don´t know! In some ways we are same- out parents, Nate… but you´ve never experienced empty house, empty room, empty bed!

You honestly think this? A wrinkle had appeared on his forehead.

What about the sluts in your bed- you never felt it. New streams of tears had formed on her face. Chuck had gotten mad, and she knew it. He bypassed the bar and stopped right in front of her.

I didn´t want them. I don´t want them, he said quietly, his hands in fists.

She looked at him with her big brown eyes. She looked so vulnerable.

I wanted you and nobody was able to replace you… I didn´t want them- because no one can smell like you, no one can taste like you, and no one can feel like you…

She could feel his breath on her face and with combination of those words it was sending a shivers down her spine. She didn´t know how much more of this she would be able to take.

Chuck, I´m sorry, she was being honest, with him and with herself.

We both know too much about each other, he smiled bitterly, and I´ll bet you know what I want to say. So…

She noded and smiled at him.

Ok. Maybe we should just start over, with friendship and...stuff?

Yeah, I mean- but I have got one point- you´ll stay here and we can drink till morning, or something…

That´s great idea, she smiled and it was true smile. First off- I would like to take a shower and borrow some clothes from you. To sleep in.

Sure.

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Hot water in the shower was washing off her strange kind of pain, stress and tiredness. Streams of water were connecting with salt tears on Blair´s pale face. This thing with Chuck wasn´t simple enough to be solved easily. They both were still so angry at each other, so hurt… But this time, everything needed to be pushed aside…

When she came out fromChuck´s big bathroom, she was wearing a pajama shirt and dark blue boxers that he had given her. You couldn´t find any makeup on her face. One might have said that she looked weird or plain, but for Chuck it had been for the first time in many years when he could see her pure beauty. And he admired it. She was looking a little wary, of course, but he felt that her mask was, for that instant, put away. When her look rested on him, wearing his simple grey polo and boxers, she knew the same. They were just Blair and Chuck.

Ehm- are you hungry? Chuck asked when he had come round to again. She just smiled lightly when she saw a pizza box on the big bed.

No caviar canapes?

Oh you know I just wanted something more-

- usual? she ended.

But much better- and cheaper, he grinned. So? he pointed on a piece of calabresse pizza.

Uhm- no, thanks… she said slowly, and sat on the edge of the bed.

You should… Chuck´s mouth was full of food, when he looked at her.

No, really, she shyed at his stare and smiled, it was easy to see that she was embarrassed. I bet it would make me sick, and I don´t want gag in your bathroom, it was meant like a joke, but it was true.

Chuck didn´t want to mull over this delicate issue, when they both weren´t having such a great time. The last few days especially..

So he just nodded, but was worried about her all the same, and she could see it.

We should go to sleep, he said when he put the box on the floor and layed down, sheet pulled over him. Blair did the same and when he turned off the lights they were surrounded by darkness.

After ten minutes she was able to listen his calm, regular, breathing and she thought it was one of the most comforting things in the world. She couldn´t feel his body, due to the huge area of the bed, but she knew about him, she could feel his warmth and smell his scent.

Then she turned onto her side to look at him, laying on his back. He wasn´t sleeping, his eyes were open. When he saw her move, he turned onto his side too. Blair reached for his hand and he took hers in his own. They were both lying there with closed eyes now, holding one another.

Chuck was fighting with himself and Blair couldn´t to resist under the connection of their bodies, even though it was so light. It was anything and everything. The bittersweet memories were back, devouring them. How they had shared their first kiss and touches in the black limo, how they had talked on the balcony in the windy night, how they had danced together on the cotillion. They used to have glamorous imitations of lives, with many friends and loved ones.

Chuck, are you sleeping? Blair asked in a low voice, she was nervous.

No, he said clearly. He opened his eyes and saw her sad face. What´s up? he asked softly, as he rubbed her fingers with his thumb.

We are so stupid. We had broken down everything by ourselves. I´m the bitch and you had lost your best friend and you know...

Chuck scoffed. Nobody wants us now. He wanted to cheered her up, but she had let go his hand and put on very serious look.

I want you, she whispered, I need you.

And there is it, he thought, and let everything come around.

Blair moved first, and kissed Chuck's lips softly. They had both, with the same urgency, nestled against each other. He kissed her luscious mouth as one of his arms was resting on her waist. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she gladly opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. He wanted to touch her everywhere, because the pleasure that was in every each touch was unbelievable.

Chuck moved from her lips to her jaw, and was then back to her lips. She nearly sobbed as he moved down to her neck. He was nibbling the sensitive skin there, and Blair reached up and threaded her fingers into his hair, pushing his head, forcing his mouth to move. He pushed up the shirt covering her flesh a little, and his hand went to the side of her hip, then over her belly. She could feel Chuck´s fingers slowly massaging circles into her stomach, near her navel. She shifted, and the motion stopped for a second, then started again, even slower than before. For a long time they were only kissing, their tonagues slowly dancing together, and Chuck´s hot palms smoothing her hips and belly. He wanted to make her feel good, feel loved.

Blair found her breath starting to come a little irregularly under Chuck´s delicious attention. She wanted to feel his touches everywhere so she reached for the first button of the shirt. But he caught her wrist and looked to her eyes with an intensity that she had never seen before. She was afraiding that he wanted to stop.

Please, I need you, she pleaded quietly, with desperate face.

He hesitated only for second.

Let me, he put her hand away.

He trailed his kisses down her neck, unbuttoning the shirt, to her breasts. She wasn´t wearing a bra. It felt like an electric current was flowing through her veins when he took her supple breast into his hand, beginning to caress her with his palms, grazing her nipple with his thumb, then stroking circles around it. He took one hardened nipple into his mouth, groaning as he did so, and sucked.

Oh god, Chuck, the moan escaped while small purring noises spilled from her swollen lips. She grasped his dark hair and arched into him. Then she pulled his polo over his head. She tore at Chuck´s back and bit the skin of his shoulders. He hadn´t believed that such pleasure could exist.

He loved the feeling of her sharp nipples grazing against him as he moved above her. They both gasped at the sensation of their naked chests pressing together. One of Blair´s petite hands rubbed across the back of Chuck´s neck while the other one stroked up and down his back. His hands travelled down, cupping her backside, as he cautiously pushed her pelvis against his own. Blair felt a hit of desire as she felt the hard bulge in his trousers. She rubbed against it instinctively, familiarly, causing him to let out a low groan.

Blair felt his hand travel down her stomach to her thigh and, finaly, he parted her legs.

Just relax, B, Chuck said his breath soft against her ear.

His fingers carefully traced circles around her inner thighs, sending a shiver down her spine. Then his fingers slid under her lace underwear. She cried out as one of his fingers slid into her. Her hand was suddenly on his, guiding him, pumping his fingers in and out. The sensations flowing through her body, making her moan and gasp with each movement. It had been pure ecstasy when he saw her wriggling from delight under him.

Say that you love me, he said firmly, while he was stroking her.

What? Blair asked, confused, biting her lower lip. And then he stopped his movements. She lifted her hips against his hand but he held her down.

Just say it, Chuck commanded, and he ran his thumb over her clit again causing her to shudder, pleasure coursing through her. He continued, moving his thumb in slow circles, increasing the pressure and tempo.

I- I love you, she moaned as she sighed for more.

He quickly slipped off the rest of her clothes and ripped off his pants and boxers. Meanwhile, Blair was touching his sensitive sights on his back and nape, loving the feel of his warm skin under her fingertips.

When they were both naked, and he was holding her closely, they looked at each other wistfully. Blair brushed her lips against his parted ones, in a delicate caress, and he rested on his forearms and slipped an inch into her waiting body. Blair easily got accustomed to his size. Then the thrusting began and Chuck gripped her hips with his hands, angling them so his length grazed her most sensitive point with each thrust. Her nails dug into his back, scratching. Feeling him inside her was so comforting and, once again, she felt alive.

They made soft noises, almost unheard even to their own ears. But as Chuck sped up the thrusting, their breathing and other noises of lust started to become louder. They were kissing with more passion than ever before, and Chuck was swallowing Blair´s cries as she melted underneath him, tearfully pleading for more between the kisses.

Please, Chuck… oh- please…

Her legs were wrapped around him and their eyes were locked together. He thrusted a few more times, they both were shaking and rested their foreheads against each other when the wave of their orgasms came.

Blair reached up to touch his face just to make sure he really was there. As she ran her hand across his face and her fingers came to his lips, Chuck kissed the tips of them and smiled when he saw her eyes close to the feeling. There was some kind of quaint peace agreement. But for how long?

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Thank you for reading and please review, it means a lot to me :)