You Will Never Love Me

I watch them together in the school, holding hands and whispering in each other's ears. They have those smiling faces, those knowing glances, and the happy couple look that makes everyone around them sick. It makes me sick, but not because they are so into the public displays of affection. No. Because it should be me receiving that squeeze of the hand, me getting the kiss on the temple. It should all be me. I look at my twin brother in anger and he rolls his eyes, he knows exactly how I feel about Troy Bolton and he thinks I should just give up. But he's never been in love; he doesn't understand how this is. I still don't understand how Troy could treat me so badly before Gabriella came along, I thought I had a chance then. But not now that girl came from nowhere and stole his heart. She got him to do things I always dreamed of, like performing and singing. He shouldn't have been on that stage with her, he should have been on it with me.

Sometimes, I wish that I was an angel
A fallen angel, who visits your dreams
And in those dreams, I'd blow you a message
That says "You really want me…"

I see them together at lunch, in drama class, in drama club because she dragged him into it. Mrs Darbus says we are doing a very interesting play this year, it'll be about a girl who is in love with a boy who is completely blind to it. Troy is auditioning for the male lead and Gabriella the female lead, I wasn't going to even bother but Ryan encouraged me, if we were picked then it would mean it would be a play of the real thing. Although in the play the boy doesn't have a girlfriend. It should be interesting. The auditions were this afternoon, as I walked past the audition list I checked it one more time. Troy was the only person auditioning for the male lead, so he would definitely get it. And Gabriella and I were the only girls auditioning for the lead female. She must be pretty confident after last year that she's going to get it. Ryan was auditioning for a less major role; he would be playing one of the boys friends. And there were other names for other minor roles.

Sometimes, I wish that I was a wrestler
A Mexican wrestler, in a red vinyl mask
And I might grab you, and body slam you
And maybe cause, physical harm

The play, called Unrequited Love is all about a girl who is hardly noticed, but is head-over-heels in love with the most popular guy in the school. And he doesn't even realise she exists until one day they get paired in a class project, and end up having to work together. She is so excited to work with him, whilst he would rather go to parties with his friends. Although through the play he finds himself falling slowly in love with the pretty nobody. And they all live happily ever after.

As if. I've come to learn that in life there are no happy endings, only momentary lapses between traumatic events and the bad times.

When we would land
I might take pity on you
I can crack all your ribs
But I can't break your heart

I couldn't concentrate through the first four classes of the day, not until free period came around, the auditions. I could not let Gabriella get that part; it would be so unfair if she did. Especially since I was here first, I am the queen of drama. Not her. The entire school was shocked to see her get the part, but also glad. I stopped my Ice ways after that, there was no point when I was nothing to the school. I think I just sank back, I didn't stand out and no longer did I wear the sparkly clips, the skirts and all the glittery clothes. There was no point. No point when you're nobody. I wore my hair down, sometimes in a high ponytail but there was no point straightening it. It looked okay long and tousled anyway. Today I was wearing a pair of jeans, they were bootleg and clung to me in the right places, and a tight fitting top with had over the shoulder long sleeves. It was yellow and brown striped, I loved it. My hair was down and I always ore a thin layer of black eyeliner, lip balm and mascara. I wanted to be pretty, even if I knew nobody noticed. I couldn't do any work all lesson, sat at the back in the corner, all my energy was focused on my performance during free period. My heart was racing. The part was mine.

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
That you will never love me
As long as I will live

The bell rang; I was out of the classroom like a shot. With every step I took I could feel my heartbeat drumming in my ears, my pink converse silently walking up the halls, a year ago I would have been wearing heels, who knew the changes she had caused? Zeke was still a good friend, we had been together for a while but broke it off when it just wouldn't work, and he was waiting at my locker when I got there.

"Hey." I said with a small smile at his large dazzling white teeth.

"Hey. I baked these for you." He said and handed me a small package, carefully wrapped.

"What are they?" I asked as I slowly opened it.

"You'll see…" He had a happy grin on his face and I couldn't help but smile.

Once they were opened I realised they were two cupcakes, one saying Good and one saying Luck. "Aw Zeke!" I cried and threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome." He laughed and hugged me back tightly.

"I can't eat them now though, there's no way I'll keep them down."

"You mean even you, the queen of drama gets nervous? Pft. As if." Zeke scoffed.

"Seriously." I said with a smile, he always knew how to cheer me up, "Speaking of which I have to go to my audition, like now. Thanks and I'll see you at lunch!" I said hurriedly as I began to make my way to the theatre.

Sometimes, I wish that I was a beauty
A beautiful girl, who was part of the crowd
And I'd turn your head, as well as your buddies
And I could afford to play hard to get

I got there just as Ms Darbus was walking in. "Hi Ms Darbus." I said with a breezy smile, trying to come off calm and collected.

"Ah hello Sharpay, are you all prepared?" She asked as she opened the door to the theatre.

"I am." I breathed and she smiled as I walked down to take a seat next to my brother Ryan in the sixth seat of the sixth row.

Troy was up first, it was guaranteed though that he would get the part so I don't know why he even bothered. He had to sing a song from the start of the play, his introduction song. He was really good, he always was. I smiled softly at Ryan as Mrs Darbus called Gabriella up. I prayed she would do badly, terrible as it sounded.

And we'd go to parties
And you'd show me off
And I'd go home with someone else…

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
And it will always bug me
As long as I will live

She sang the same song as I did, except I played the guitar for it and she had someone else play it for her. I actually cried during it as I went onto the chorus each time because it was so true. Troy would never love me, and I couldn't forgive him for that. And I hated that I loved him, all these things I had wished. As I had practiced it had been in my head the entire time, him finally realising he loved me and me… finally getting to kiss him. I opened my mouth for the hardest part of the song:

"You will never love me
And why should I even care?
It's not that you're so special
You're just the cross I bear…"

It was then I felt the tear on my cheek as it dripped down onto my jean covered thigh, I think everyone saw it. I saw Ryans face soften, everyone's eyebrows raise and Mrs Darbus' eyes widen. Troys mouth dropped open and Gabriella rolled her eyes, she thought I'd be faking it to get the part. She could think what she wanted. I glanced at Troy then and caught his eye, as I sang a bit longer I kept it before I looked away, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"You will never love me!
And this I can't forgive
You will never love me!
As long as I live"

The next day I raced into school early to see who had got the part, my heart was beating with such anticipation I was terrified. What if she got it? What if my crown was thrown from my head once again? I don't know what I would do… I would be devastated. As I got there I felt my hear skip a beat.

"Calm down Sharpay!" Ryan laughed as he caught up with me. I had my eyes closed.

"I can't look, I'm too scared." I exclaimed and turned the other way, "You look for me."

Ryan laughed, "Alright alright…" He paused, "Oh Sharpay… I'm so sorry."

My heart sank. "What…?" I asked and opened my eyes, I could feel tears welling up inside as I turned around.

Ashley James – Sharpay Evans

"I GOT THE PART!" I shrieked and felt the tears stream down my cheeks in happiness, I jumped up and down and then jumped into Ryans arms, he kissed my forehead.

After I had calmed down a few minutes later, I hit him on the arm. "You are such an ass! Making me think I hadn't got it."

He grinned, "Made it so much better though right?"

I nodded.

We walked over to my locker, he leaned on the locker beside it as I opened the door and tried to contain my excitement, a few more people were entering the school now as I put some books on the bottom shelf. Then I saw a piece of white folded paper, I glanced at Ryan who was too busy looking down at his phone to realise. So I opened it.

Shar, I love you too. – T