Warning: Whew... no, guys, I didn't abandon this fic... ^^;;; I've just had things pile up upon me that made writing hard. x.x ANYWAY! Um... HERE IT IS! XD

For those who don't know, a fuku is basically a skirt-body suit combo. You know, the stuff Sailor Moon wears.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUKI! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YAY! XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

Chapter Fifteen: To Da Rescue, Yo!

"Urrr...," Red moaned as he opened his eyes, then yawned. "Bleh..." he muttered. He debated whether he really wanted to get up and start a new day of ruling an empire or going back to snuggling with Purple.

The decision took all of a second.

Red snickered evilly and attempted to roll over when he found he could not. His eyes opened wide with alarm, only to find himself bound to the bed with what looked suspiciously like red licorice. Red blinked in confusion.

"Like it?"

Red whirled and stared as Purple sauntered in to the room, wearing a skimpy sailor fuku straight from an anime, complete with insanely short purple skirt, white body suit, purple bows, knee high white boots, and elbow high white gloves. Wrapped around his forehead was a tiara with a purple gemstone.

"... Pur!?" Red stared.

"Heh heh," Purple walked towards the bed, swinging his hips just enough so that the skirt flashed the skin underneath. "I decided to see if I really did look as good in these outfits as ZIM did. What do you think?"

"Haaaaaaaaaaah," Red's jaw dropped.

"I'll take that as a 'Please, Purple, Ravage Me!'," Purple crooned as he slunk closer, running his hands along Red's stomach. Red squirmed as he tried to get free, desperate to do many naughty things to Purple. Purple chuckled evilly, then paused when his hand touched Red's pants. He blinked, then glanced down and slipped them under...

... Only to pull out a sandwich.

"..." Purple blinked.

"..." Red paled.

"..." Purple looked at Red, holding the sandwich up in a silent demand for an explanation.

"... Eh?" Red shrugged, helplessly.

"Such a naughty boy, storing your food in your undies!" Purple scolded as he dropped the sandwich, then stepped back. "And everyone knows what happens to naughty Tallest!"

"Oh?" Red quirked an invisible eyebrow, then stared as Purple pulled out a cat-o-nine tails out of his skirt. Purple slapped the multi-tipped whip against the palm of his claw, then quirked a grin.

"In the name of the Moon...," Purple drew back and pointed the whip at Red. "I'll punish you!"

"... EEEEE!"

--------------

"We don't have anywhere left to check!" Dib muttered. "It wasn't Keef... it wasn't Bitters... it DEFINITELY wasn't Bill... we don't have anyone left!"

"Yes we do," Gaz snorted.

"Who?" Dib blinked. Gaz fixed her brother with a glare, then turned to point a finger down the street.

The hideous new girl known as Tak muttered darkly as she closed the back to the large, junky Bloaty's Pizza Hog van. She wore the uniform of a deliveryboy, which she seemed highly embarrassed of.

"TAK!?" Dib stared. Tak tensed, then whirled to fix Dib with a shocked look.

"You!?" she hissed.

"Where's Zim?" Gaz asked, her expression neutral.

"How should I know?" Tak muttered. "Dead, I hope."

"Where is Zim." Gaz repeated, opening one of her eyes.

"She doesn't know, Gaz...," Dib muttered, then yelped when Gaz turned to look at him.

"Oh? So now you're giving up Zim for HER?" she smirked.

"Eh?" Tak blinked.

"WHAT!?" Dib's jaw dropped. "Now wait a minute! Why would I chose HER over Zim!?"

"..." Tak's cheek twitched.

"Maybe if she were still the 'daughter' of a billionare... but she's not! She lost it all when WE stopped her!" Dib continued. "She's just a hopeless alien now!"

"... MIMI!" Tak shrieked. Instantly, the cat-disguised SIR unit hopped in to view...

Only to be tackled by Pimpin' GIR.

"What!?" Tak whirled as GIR pinned Mimi to the ground, smirking evilly.

"Hey baby!" GIR purred. Mimi let out a cat-like snarl and proceeded to scratch at GIR in a fury of claws.

"That didn't work, did it," Tak's cheek twitched.

"Where's Zim?" Gaz repeated. "We know you're hiding him."

"Why would I hide him!?" Tak demanded, hotly. "I hate him! He destroyed my entire life! I want him dead!"

"No, you love him."

"... What!? No, of course I don't!"

"Yes, you do."

"I DO NOT! He RUINED everything!"

"You liked it... you find it kinky. You want him."

"I do NOT."

"Think about it."

"..." Tak's eyes widened. "No... NO! You're right! I DO! I want Zim! Why didn't I realize it before!?"

"See?" Gaz smirked.

"Now I desire Dib AND Zim! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why must you tempt me by making me lust for those who are so stupid yet adoringly handsome?!" Tak wailed.

"... Wait!" Dib's eyes widened. "What do you mean, desire me?"

"Nothing," Tak shrugged, suddenly back to normal, and turned to Gaz. "Anyway..."

"Hey, wait!" Dib yelped. "Go back! What did you mean!?"

"Where is Zim?" Gaz looked at Tak, squarely.

"He's probably up in the Planet Jacker spaceship orbiting this stupid planet," Tak shrugged.

"HEY!" Dib flailed.

"How do you know?" Gaz asked.

"I have to deliver a pizza there." Tak shrugged. "The van has rockets on it... don't ask me why, it just does. Humans do a lot of things that don't make sense."

"Hello?" Dib blinked.

"Take us there." Gaz said.

"Okay." Tak nodded.

"HEY!!!" Dib clenched his fists. "Answer me!"

"But what are you going to do about the Planet Jackers?" Tak quirked her head.

"... Heh," Gaz smirked evilly. "Leave that to me."

"But what about-?" Dib began, then blinked as a hideous yowling pierced the air. Dib, Gaz, and Tak glanced behind them to where GIR and Mimi had been the entire time.

They blinked, then quickly looked away at what they saw. Dib blushed lightly and coughed.

"Um..." he began. "... Are robots supposed to do that?"

"... Doubt it," Gaz grunted, her cheek twitching.

"..." Tak cringed, then shook her head. "Let's go."

"What about the robots!?" Dib yelped. Tak and Gaz glanced at him, their expressions stern.

"... Are you seriously suggested we get near them when they're doing that?" Tak asked, tensely.

"... No, guess not. Wasn't thinking."

"Obviously."

-----------------

"Look," Zim growled. "You cannot keep me here! Do you hear me!? I AM AN IRKEN INVADER!"

"Yes we can," Oogah grunted.

"Yup, says so right here!" Nik agreed, nodding his head.

Zim blinked as the two shoved a contract in his face, written in pink ink. He held the contract and blinked, then made a face.

"... 'To whoever does buy dis ho, dey gots all da rights ta do whatevah dey want so long as it don' mess wit' the property value, yo'. Dis be signed by da Pimp GIR and approved by da Almighty Tallest Red'," Zim read, slowly. He blinked, then sighed miserably. "Blah."

"Heh, see?" Nik smirked, then leaned down to dangle a tight string bikini in his face. "So put dis on."

"..." Zim's cheek twitched.

"Wear or I smash you," Oogah added. Zim twitched, then grabbed the bikini and sighed again.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"... We gots a doorbell?" Oogah looked at Nik.

"... We have a DOOR?" Nik stared back.

"Go answer," Oogah growled. "Might be pizza."

"... You ordered pizza?" Nik blinked.

"Hungry. Eat pizza." Oogah shrugged. Nik eyed Oogah oddly. Oogah glared at the slim alien. "Get pizza now or I smash you, too."

"HEY,"

Nik and Oogah whirled to stare as Tak stormed in to the room, holding a big box of pizza.

"Pizza's here," Tak said, calmly.

"You!?" Zim stared in shock, then blinked and laughed heartily. "Couldn't resist my Irken charms, EH!?"

"Shut up, Zim," Tak fixed Zim with a look. "You're an idiot... albeit a hot, spicy, kinky one that I'm having trouble deciding whether to kill or jump."

"Good. Don't have to smash Nik now."

"... Yeah, heh... thanks."

Tak walked over to the Planet Jackers, pizza in tow, as two familiar humans walked in behind her. Gaz crossed her arms and fixed the two aliens with a glare as Dib tried to appear as inconspicious as possible as a giant hump seemed to stick out from the back of his trenchcoat.

"Who dem?" Oogah blinked.

"Trainees," Tak replied.

"... Damn scary trainees," Nik stared. "That girl's got DOOM power!"

"How know?" Oogah blinked. Nik turned to his companion.

"She's got the HAIR, man!"

"Know plenty people with purple hair and not have DOOM powers,"

"Dude, she has it. It's OBVIOUS."

"Why?"

Gaz's cheek twitched as the two Planet Jackers bickered, then nodded to Dib. Dib nodded and seemed to drag himself across the floor towards Zim. Zim blinked at Dib, then hissed and pointed a claw at him.

"YOOOOUUU!" Zim growled.

"Shut up Zim, we don't have time for that!" Dib barked. "Just get over here and be QUIET!"

"Fine! ASK her, then!" Nik demanded.

"Not polite to ask girl if she have DOOM powers." Oogah shook his head. "Is very rude."

"Yeah, well-," Nik growled, then blinked as Dib slipped back behind Gaz, dragging himself along. "Hey, what's wrong with that guy?"

"Don't look at him. He's a freak," Gaz grunted. "Horribly mutated in a pizza accident."

"... Oh," Nik shrugged. "Poor guy."

"Freak boy." Oogah agreed.

"Well, we'll be leaving now!" Tak smirked. "Thank you and enjoy the pizza!"

"Heh," Gaz smirked, then turned and shoved Dib forcefully through the doorway before following herself. Tak turned and followed after, rather quickly. Nik and Oogah watched them leave, then turned to look at eachother.

"Weird humans," Nik muttered.

"Eat pizza now. Talk later," Oogah replied.

"Let's see if the Irken's hungry," Nik suggested.

"Irkens no eat," Oogah growled.

"No, but I sure do!"

Nik and Oogah's eyes widened as they whirled to stare. Sitting in Zim's spot was none other than Keef, who grinned at them toothily. He still wore nothing but his knee high boots and red leather thong. He stood up, then giggled cutely as he displayed his whip and waffle iron seductively.

"HI, BUDDIES! Let's play!"

Nik and Oogah stared at Keef, then at eachother.

"... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

-------------------------

"That will teach them a lesson they'll never forget," Gaz growled. "If they survive it!"

"I almost pity them," Dib observed, then yelped when Zim squirmed out from under his trenchcoat where he had been hiding.

"They deserve it for messing with an IRKEN INVADER!" Zim crowed, posing dynamically. He then whirled and pointed at Dib. "And YOU don't ever change your clothes, DO you!?"

"Hey, wait!" Dib paled.

"You redefine the definition of STINKBEAST, stinkbeast!" Zim growled.

"Hey, we SAVED you!" Dib glowered.

"HAH!" Zim snarled. "You simply took me out of their clutches and in to YOURS! You no doubt have some evil, nasty intentions... you disgusting meatbags!"

"..." Gaz and Dib glanced at each other before they broke out in to a hideous smirk.

"Now that you mention it...," Dib tapped his chin, 'idly'.

"... You can't get away from us now, can you?" Gaz chuckled, then looked at Tak. "Drive."

"You can't order me around." Tak snorted.

Gaz fixed her with a gaze.

"... Okay, maybe I underestimated you," Tak paled.

"DRIVE," Gaz repeated, her voice resonating demonically.

"Aw," Tak muttered as she took the wheel. "Can't I atleast watch?"

Gaz considered that, then nodded.

"Fine."

"Hey!" Dib glanced at his sister. "He's MY alien!"

"Look," Gaz looked at her brother, her cheek twitching. "We have two choices. We fight, bicker, and lose this chance to finally get our hands on Zim... or we just call a temporary truce and fight after the opportunity's been taken."

Dib blinked, then tapped his chin.

"Or I just doom you and take Zim all for myself," Gaz added, her eyes narrowed. Dib paled, then smiled nervously.

"... Take turns?" he offered, extending his hand.

"Just this once." Gaz accepted the hand, smirking.

"... Hey, wait," Zim's eyes widened.

"No, no more waiting," Gaz growled.

"For once, we both agree!" Dib chuckled. Zim's eyes widened as he flailed, the two humans descending upon him while grinning like chesire cats.

"EEEEEEEEE-!!!"

-------------------------

GIR sighed as he spit out a puff of smoke, lying down on the lawn as he smoked a cigar. He glanced at Mimi, who stretched out beside him.

"Was it good for you, bitch?" GIR smirked.

"Who you callin' a bitch, yo?" Mimi purred in response.

"Just you, ho."

"You know it."

Author's notes: ... Yes, that's it. The end... don't cry. ;_; I really enjoyed writing this fic... and I almost didn't post it because I didn't WANT it to end... but to make it up to you all, I'll start writing my next Tallest fic if you want! XD