Author's Notes: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been awhile. Divorce and job chaos will do that to a girl. Nevertheless, I'm nearly finished with my Korriban chapter (yay!), but the latest from Bioware has stolen my heart. No matter how weird it sounded to hear Carth's voice coming out of Kaidan at first, I managed to adjust.

Updated: Thanks to everyone who R&R'd the draft chapter. Regarding the name of the story, 'Erasing', I was mostly motivated by the major theme in the game of synthetics seeking to wipe out organics, the cycle of Reaper extinctions, and their desire to 'erase' the current iteration of organic life from the galaxy. A number of the characters also have pasts they'd rather forget or leave behind, Kaidan and Wrex most notably, but also my version of Shepard (Earthborn). It's still a working title, and I may change it as I get more into the main story.

Chapter 1 - In-Processing

"Running diagnostic. Stand by."

The display screen in front of Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko filled with numbers and symbols, scrolling so quickly even his trained eye was hard pressed to keep up with the results of the test Joker was running. All the weapons systems checks were coming back green, just as they had the dozen or so times they'd run them over the last few days. He wasn't about to let his concentration slip – this was going to be an important tour, a shakedown cruise for the Alliance Military's newest ship. Not that the Normandy was just another ship off the production line – it was a prototype, a hybrid human/Turian design that also happened to incorporate the largest drive core ever installed on anything smaller than a carrier and an experimental stealth system. Even so, in spite of all the strange new control panels and sensors demanding his attention he was starting to feel a little bored.

The comm station next to the display screen squawked. "Ah, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Joker?'

"Can you come up here for a minute?"

Kaidan glanced back at the screen – still an unending streak of passed checks. "On my way."

The pilot's station was located at the front of the ship, just up the stairs from the weapon officer's station. The Normandy was a small ship, just a frigate, so it took only about a minute to get from one end to the other. Three days ago it would have been a thirty second trip but the crew had nearly doubled in size since then, slowing him as he dodged and weaved through groups of new marines getting their orientation tour. There were now nearly eighty sailors and marines on board, enough for a fully-staffed two-shift cruise – which did strike Kaidan as strange, since the Standard Operating Procedures for shakedown cruises only called for two half-staffed shifts. He strode past navigation and the bullpen, passing the airlock on his left as he headed into the cockpit and looked down at the dirty old ballcap that seemed permanently grafted onto Joker's head. "Something wrong with the systems?"

"Nope," Joker said, shaking his head. "Just my eyesight."

Kaidan frowned. "Don't you have to pass a 20/20 uncorrected vision test every month?"

"Yes, and I did, just last week," Joker replied. "But I don't believe I'm seeing what my eyes are telling me I'm seeing, so I thought I'd get a second opinion." He gestured at a display screen off to his left, which was showing not a steady stream of test results but a live camera relay from the docking platform outside. Captain Anderson and a small company of marines were saluting a woman dressed in battle fatigues, her brown hair pulled up tightly into a regulation topknot. The light caught the silver thread of a Commander's insignia on her fatigues as she returned the salute. Lowering her arm she glanced around, taking in the ship, looking straight at the camera as Captain Anderson stepped towards her –

"No way." Kaidan's eyes widened as he caught sight of the name patch just below her right shoulder.

Joker chuckled. "Given the statistical improbability of you and I sharing the same hallucination at the same time, I guess that really is Commander Shepard." He toggled a few buttons on the screen, magnifying the video image of Shepard and Anderson shaking hands. "She must be reporting as the XO."

"Commander Elizabeth Shepard," Kaidan murmured. Hero of the Blitz, savoir of the colony at Elysium, winner of the Star of Terra…she was arguably the most famous servicemember of any stripe in the entire Alliance.

"I gotta say," Joker continued, studying the image on the screen more closely, "She's pretty smokin'." Kaidan glanced reflexively at her silhouette, feeling a sudden sweat underneath the collar of his fatigues.

"That's no way to speak of a senior officer, Joker," Lieutenant Commander Pressley interjected, walking forward from navigation. "Come on now you two, smarten up. Take that cap off." Joker rose gingerly from his seat, obligingly pulling the cap off his head and dropping it into the vacated chair. "The Captain wants all hands on deck to welcome the Commander on board."

The last few crewmembers were still scrambling up the stairs from below decks as Shepard stepped through the airlock and onto the ship – mostly new arrivals who weren't used to the Normandy's unusual deckplan. Corporal Jenkins, one of the young marines who'd just arrived yesterday, slid into line to Kaidan's left. "Shepard," he sighed reverently. Kaidan suppressed a groan. All snapped to attention as Anderson and Shepard traded salutes again, the heavy thump of boots coming together reverberating through the air.

"Commander Shepard," Captain Anderson said in his low, gravelly voice, "May I present the crew of the Normandy."

Normal protocol called for a quick trip down the line, followed by a short, uninspired speech consisting of a half-dozen poorly integrated platitudes. Most of Kaidan' previous XO's had been interested only in minimizing the time spent with the peons while maximizing the time spent locked onto the captain's ass. All of which suited him just fine – the clammy, prickling sensation creeping through his skin was growing stronger. But in the next moment, rather than striding past them all as quickly as decorum allowed, Shepard pivoted towards the first crew member in line, saluting a shocked Pressley so fast he barely had time to get his own salute up before she began speaking to him. Surprised glances were traded up and down the line, though Kaidan just allowed himself a wry smile – he should've figured Shepard as the type who enjoyed defying convention. Only Anderson seemed unfazed as he moved beside her, one step at a time as she began to make her way down the line, saluting and speaking to each crew member in turn. Be cool, Kaidan told himself as she approached his position.

Joker was on Kaidan's immediate right. "Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, chief pilot," he said, snapping into a salute crisper than any other crew member had yet managed. "But I go by the call sign 'Joker'".

She raised an eyebrow. "Joker…your reputation precedes you. I'll have to make sure all my gear is tied down before we leave." Joker chuckled, lowering his arm as Shepard stepped to the right and drilled her eyes on Kaidan.

"L-Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Normandy Marine Squadron One," he choked, giving her the most nervous salute he could remember since he'd had three drill instructors yelling so loudly in his face the veins in their necks stood out a full half-inch. Her bright green eyes seemed to bore through his skull as she returned his salute. "I, uh, look forward to serving with you, Commander."

He felt like scalding water was being poured over every part of his body as he waited for her reply. She took a few more seconds than she had with Joker and the others, keeping her gaze locked with his. "The feeling is mutual, Lieutenant," she said smoothly, giving him a small, tight smile before stepping over to speak with a bouncing and grinning Corporal Jenkins.

Kaidan barely remembered the rest of the ceremony. 'I look forward to serving with you Commander.' How lame. An Elkor could've thought of something better. He was relieved she finally reached the end of the line and Captain Anderson announced a 0800 officer's staff call for the next morning, then dismissed them all, taking Shepard back into the communications room for a briefing.

"That wasn't so bad," Joker said, falling in behind Kaidan as they headed back towards the cockpit. "Well, except for the part where you tripped all over yourself talking to her," he added, easing into his seat. The cap was already back in place.

"If you don't need anything else, I'll be back down at the weapons station," Kaidan snapped. Joker's 'Suit yourself' reply echoed in the background as he stomped towards the aft stairs.

"This is our destination – Eden Prime." Captain Anderson punched a button on the comm room's holodisplay, and an image of the planet materialized. "After we undock we'll get the engines up to full speed, make a few circuits around the local system, then head for the relay. Travel time to Eden Prime should be about fifteen percent faster than normal. Once we arrive at Eden Prime, we'll practice coming in and out of orbit, dropping the SSV, and finally atmospheric entry and planetside docking. We'll stay on Eden Prime just long enough to evaluate the Normandy's performance, and then we'll be off again. I'll brief you on the next mission when we get to it."

That's it? Kaidan clenched his teeth to keep his expression neutral as the captain continued. All this crew, a captain with Anderson's record and reputation, Commander f-ing Shepard as our XO, and we're doing nothing more than flying circles around our own home system and a colony? Anderson turned away from the ring of seated officers to point out something in the holodisplay, giving Kaidan a chance to gage the others' reactions. Joker was slouched in his chair, regarding the holodisplay with near contempt – he doesn't get it, either. The corners of Pressley's lips were turned down – he's suspicious, too. Dr. Chakwas and the engineering staff seemed unfazed, following the captain's briefing with polite attention.

Seated directly to the right of the captain, Shepard's gaze was fixed on the holodisplay, her eyes scanning back and forth over the readings and information about Eden Prime and their mission. Her face was not blank, instead shifting subtly every few moments from one inscrutable expression into another. If she had any concerns that their mission was rather underwhelming, they were well concealed. It's going to be hard to figure out where you stand with her, Kaidan knew. Pins and needles every time she wants a word.

The image of Eden Prime dissolved as the captain turned back towards the assembled officers. "This may not seem like much of a mission, but the Alliance and the Citadel Council have put a lot of effort – and a lot of credits – into designing and building this ship," he said, dialing his voice down a note. "They'll be watching very closely to see if – "

"Captain Anderson?" The voice of the first shift's senior noncommissioned officer rang out over the intercom.

The Captain stepped back towards his chair and toggled his comm switch. "Yes, Chief?"

"Priority One message from Alliance Fleet HQ for you, sir. Security authorization required to receive."

"I'll take it in my office, Chief," the captain replied, nodding. "Commander, you take over. This should only take a minute."

"Yes, sir," she said as the captain strode out of the comm room. She picked up a datapad that had been resting unused in her left hand. "Adams," she continued, turning towards the Normandy's chief engineer, "I know we haven't had a chance to see the stealth system in action, but how has it done in the tests?"

Adams cleared his throat nervously. "Ah, just fine, so far. Even though the drive core is 50 larger and puts out 50 more energy than the standard size core for a frigate, the heat wells can contain all the emissions for at least 6 hours of normal operations." Shepard nodded encouragingly, punching a few buttons on her datapad. "We have to wait until we can get out and test it on the move before we'll know how close a thermal sensor has to be to detect us – a mile, half a mile – but so far the system's working as advertised."

"So the Normandy hasn't been out of spacedock at all yet?" she asked, punching a few buttons on her datapad.

"Just one cruise here from the shipyards," Adams replied, "But none of us were on that crew."

Shepard nodded, lifting her eyes from her datapad. "No problems with the drive core itself?" Adams shook his head. She shifted her gaze over to Pressley. "Nav systems have checked out?"

"Every time," he confirmed.

"Weapons?" she asked, tilting her head towards Kaidan.

"Haven't been fired yet," he said, shifting in his seat to face her more directly, "But all the checks and simulations have run without a hitch."

She nodded again. "Good. Life support, environmental, everything else okay?" she added, scanning the rest of the assembled officers.

"There was one small problem that popped up with the food synthesizer system," Joker drawled, "But we figured nobody would notice the difference so we just left it alone."

She allowed herself a slight smile. "Maybe, but I don't think Fleet Command's definition of success for this mission includes the entire crew coming down with the Volus intestinal flu."

"I hear you Commander," Joker replied. "I'll make sure it's fixed."

The doors slid open and Captain Anderson strode back into the room. "I apologize for that, everyone. Commander," he said, coming to a halt just beyond the door, "I have to go to a meeting with the Chief of Naval Operations. There's an all-Fleets staff call at 1100 – the Normandy is going to be represented for the first time. Can you cover?"

"Not a problem, Captain," she said smoothly. "Is there anything else, sir?"

"No. We'll be leaving for Eden Prime at 0600 hours on Saturday. I'm giving everyone twelve hours of shore leave between now and then – Shift A from 1800 hours tonight to 0600 tomorrow, then Shift B from 0600 to 1800 tomorrow. Dismissed." Captain Anderson turned sharply and strode out the doors before anyone else could make it to their feet to salute. The rest of the officers began to filter out, talking lowly amongst themselves.

Kaidan moved slowly, waiting for the crowd to clear so he could make his exit, but stopped at the sight of a frowning Shepard gazing pensively at the floor. Even as he told himself to just leave rather than risk making a fool of himself – again – he heard himself ask, "Something wrong, Commander?"

She gave no sign that she'd heard him for a few seconds, then broke off her contemplation of the deck plating to fix her gaze on the backs of the other officers exiting to the main deck. "No," she said slowly, "Nothing wrong. Just interesting."

"Interesting?" Kaidan nearly pinched himself as the question reverberated around the comm room – be careful.

"The CNO doesn't call a captain directly for a meeting, not even one as well-known as Anderson," she said, letting out a long sigh as she reached back to pick up her datapad. "He'd call our Fleet Commander, Admiral Hackett. And even Hackett would probably go through the Group Commander, Anderson's direct report. But the CNO doesn't just call a captain in for a meeting. Not unless it's something big."

Kaidan forced himself to count to three before replying. "This is a pretty important cruise," he started. Shepard frowned again. "But…" Kaidan's mind raced to follow her thoughts. "But this has been planned for months. The CNO wouldn't call about something that's already set."

Her eyes flicked up to assess him momentarily, then returned their focus to the door. "No, he wouldn't. Which means this is something new. Something bigger." Kaidan's body temperature rose several degrees as she turned and walked closer to him. "Have you ever been to a fleet-level staff call, Lieutenant Alenko?" she asked, fixing him in the crosshairs of her gaze once again.

"No ma'am," he replied steadily.

"First time for everything," she said with a sharp nod. "Dig your service dress uniform out of storage and meet me on the docking platform at 1000 hours."

"Welcome to Alliance Navy Headquarters, Lieutenant" chimed the computer terminal as the entrance gates in front of Kaidan slid open. "Please note that you are not permitted to access Level 5 of this facility. Have a nice day."

He looked to his right to see Shepard stepping through another set of gates, sliding her ID card into a slot in a thin leather datapad portfolio. "An ID check, fingerprint scan and a retinal scan?" he grumbled, glancing past her at the long row of gates through which over a dozens of other military and civilian personnel were passing. "When do we get the cavity search?"

"Careful," she replied lowly, "Don't give the MPs any ideas." Pausing, she looked around the expansive atrium at the various directional signs posted above their heads. "If they haven't moved everybody around since the last time I was here the main conference room should be in the northeast quadrant of Level 2." She snapped her portfolio closed and strode off towards a large staircase in that corner of the atrium.

The salutes began almost immediately as they walked, Shepard a few steps ahead of him, all conversation fading into silence as they passed. Kaidan had known this would happen – by regulation all military personnel, regardless of their rank, were required to salute anyone awarded the Star of Terra, regardless of that person's rank, so her presence was bound to cause a commotion – but the unabashed, wide-eyed stares quickly started making his skin crawl. Some saluted while staring at her namepatch, others at the ribbon bar representing the Star of Terra that lay pinned on its own just above the sizeable array of other medal and commendation ribbons on the left side of her uniform jacket – blue/green/blue with seven small white stars arranged in a chevron. Some of the younger personnel, both military and civilian alike, were too stunned at the sight of the real live Commander Shepard to do anything other than stand frozen with their jaws hanging open. As they neared the top of the stairs he saw some personnel come sprinting out of their offices, no doubt alerted to Shepard's passage by some acquaintance on the lower level. She's not a float in a parade, he thought, scowling at the gawkers as much as he dared given that they almost all outranked him. Or is it less about getting a look at her so much as it's trying to be seen by her?

"Eyes forward, Lieutenant."

Kaidan's head snapped around towards the sound of her voice. "Ah, yes ma'am. Sorry," he said as they turned a corner and started down a hallway decorated with portraits of previous Alliance Navy CNOs. "I'm not used to being stared at like that, but I guess you are."

Her lips pressed tightly together. "You never get used to it, but if you don't stare back it feels a little less weird. Besides, if you think this is bad just wait until later, when the news has had a chance to spread."

The dark tone that crept into her voice conjured images of thronging crowds waving paper and pen at Shepard as they tried to make their way back out of the building. "Don't these people have anything better to do?" he muttered, settling his gaze on an 'Exit' sign at the far end of the hall.

"Apparently not," she sighed. "They all want to be able to go back and brag to their friends about how different I look in person."

"Well," he said, his eyes shifting unbidden to look at her, "Not all that different from –" Her head turned just far enough to give him a don't-go-there glare. "Sorry ma'am," he added sharply as she looked back towards the end of the hall, quickening her step. "Eyes forward."

She doesn't look all that different from the vids, though, he thought, unable to keep himself from risking the occasional glance at her face and figure now that the question was planted in his mind. Her hair was the medium-dark brown it seemed to be on the news, but when they passed beneath the hall lights he saw a shimmering, warm red undertone that had never come through in pictures. Same hairdo she always had, but the regulations on personal grooming were so specific there were only about a half-dozen different hairstyles any woman in the service could wear. Most settled on one they liked and stuck with it for their entire career. Her skin was very pale, but it was a genuine fairness, not the ashy pallor so many developed after being on maneuvers for months. Combined and contrasted with her dark hair, the dark blue of their uniforms, and those seizingly bright green eyes, she was…Kaidan's thoughts faltered, unable to think of any single word.

A thinning crowd revealed a set of sliding doors, emblazoned with the insignia of the Alliance Navy, just to the left of where the hall came to an end. They moved through them as quickly as they could without breaking into a run, entering the largest conference room Kaidan had ever seen. A u-shaped table long enough to seat at least two hundred dominated the space, with dozens of extra chairs lining the walls and scores of holoprojectors mounted above for remote participants. Small groups of captains and admirals stood talking together throughout the room. They paused to salute Shepard but did not seem surprised by her presence, returning to their conversations as soon as she passed by. Near the left end of the table Kaidan spotted the shiniest, newest plaque in the room resting on the polished metal surface: SR-1 SAV NORMANDY. Two chairs flanked the plaque – Shepard dropped down into the one closer to the head of the table, letting out a long breath as she finally relaxed. "Made it," she breathed.

"There's more people here than I expected," Kaidan said, craning his neck to count the other plaques on the table as he took the seat to her right.

"Every ship in the local system or the cluster sends at least one representative," Shepard replied, sweeping her gaze over the other attendees. "Usually more – one senior officer to do the talking and a junior officer or two to observe and get some face time with the brass. Ships on maneuvers call in using the holoprojectors. Add in the Fleet and Group command staffs and you've got quite the party. They only do this once a month, and it's often more to see and be seen than to actually discuss anything worthwhile." She leaned closer to him, her eyes still surveying the room. "Pay attention to what isn't said just as much as what is," she said in a low voice. "Note the difference between those who have something to say and those who say something just so they can say they said something. And watch for the alliances, the rivalries; captains and admirals who started hating each other their first week at the Academy and are still acting it out thirty years later." Shifting back away from him, she opened her portfolio and began powering up her datapad. "You don't have to play in the politics of headquarters to survive here, Lieutenant, but you sure as hell better know what everybody else's game is."

Kaidan laughed gently. "Duly noted, ma'am, though I don't think I'm going to need to worry about that anytime soon."

"No?" she replied, arching an eyebrow in his direction. "You've been serving on one ship or another continually for what, about three years now?" Kaidan nodded. "Since you're only a couple of months away from making O-4 –"

"If I make O-4," he sighed under his breath. Any idiot with a pulse could get promoted through to Lieutenant, but crossing the line over to Lieutenant Commander was the first big cut any officer who wanted to make a career out of service in the Alliance had to pass. The review boards gave you three shots – anyone who failed all three times would be required to retire.

Shepard gave him a small, almost reassuring smile. "You will. You never would've been put on this crew if you weren't," she said simply. "And when you do, you're more than due for a couple of years of shore duty – probably as a deputy XO on some admiral's staff. Those battles are fought with words, not guns. The earlier you start learning those rules of engagement, the better."

"You give all your junior officers this pep talk?" Kaidan muttered.

"No," she replied sharply. "Only the ones who seem like they'll put it to good use." She started punching buttons on her datapad with a bit more force than necessary. "Besides, I need to remind myself what a snake pit this place is just to make sure I don't screw up."

Kaidan let out a disbelieving laugh. "I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about, Commander."

Shepard's reply came a few seconds late, her voice dangerously smooth. "Why would you think that, Lieutenant?" she asked calmly, turning her head until she could fix him with a dark glare.

"Um," Kaidan floundered, withering. "You're….well, you're you, ma'am."

"Anyone under my command who doesn't knock off the hero-worshipping crap will quickly find themselves under someone else's command," she growled, her voice low and tense. "I get enough shining-example-on-a-pedestal bull from the brass – I expect my crew to have a much firmer grasp on reality. Understood, Lieutenant?"

The hard edge in her tone and the set of her eyes sent an icy shiver down Kaidan's spine. "Yes ma'am," he said calmly.

She kept her eyes locked on his for a few extra heartbeats, then gave him a short nod, her expression softening a fraction. "I brought you here, Alenko, rather than any other officer on the ship because your service history and the few observations I've made on my own tell me that you're the most likely candidate to be sitting in this chair ten years from now. Don't give me a reason to change my mind."

"Y-yes, ma'am," Kaidan stammered, momentarily unable to concentrate on much more than the feeling of being yanked out of a deep freezer and dropped into a pot of boiling water. She shook her head slightly, turning back to her datapad. He was about to choke out a 'thank you' when an admiral stepped up to the podium at the head of the table, silencing the chattering crowd with a wave of his hand.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, let's get started," the admiral said, pushing a button on the podium. The wall behind him lit up, displaying the Alliance Navy logo. The table in front of Kaidan also lit up – a viewscreen lay hidden beneath the dark, glassy surface of the table. "We don't have too many things to discuss today," the admiral continued, as the logo vanished from the wall and the viewscreen, replaced by a to-the-minute agenda for the meeting, "But there are some budget issues being debated in Parliament right now that you need to be aware of. First, Admiral Cohen will brief the administrative updates."

The first admiral stepped back as a second admiral got up from the table and advanced to the podium. "Good morning. As an initial matter, the Flag Officer Promotion Board will be meeting at the end of next month. Please be sure to submit your evaluations of the captains under your command by COB on the 31st so the Board will have them during their deliberations." He cleared his throat and looked down at his datapad. "Admiral Zhukovna has been assigned to command the 20th Recon Wing of the Fourth Fleet. Admiral Zamarippa has been assigned as Deputy Commander, Alliance Navy Garrison Management Command. Admiral Matagi has been assigned as Commander, Alliance Navy Medical Command." Each admiral, or the holographic image of that admiral, raised a hand and acknowledged the congratulatory nods of their colleagues as their name was read. "We have two new ships commissioned into service in the last month – the cruiser Tamerlane, under Captain Reyes-Ayala, and the frigate Normandy, under Captain Anderson."

A rumble of murmurs rolled through the room at the mention of the Normandy. "Excuse me, Zev," called out an admiral on the other side of the table from Shepard and Kaidan, raising his hand with a casual lethargy, "But I don't see Captain Anderson here."

Kaidan felt rather than saw Shepard stiffen. "Commander Shepard, XO of the Normandy," she said in a voice that was nonetheless even and relaxed. "Captain Anderson was called into another meeting. Lieutenant Alenko and I are attending in his absence."

The echo of the sound of his name momentarily drowned out the renewed mumblings amongst the admirals. Kaidan's hearing kicked back in just in time to hear a not-so-sotto-voce muttering from a captain seated on his right, "A meeting?" He half-thought to reply, but Admiral Cohen spoke up before anyone else could get a word in. "Yes," he said smoothly, "The CNO got caught up in that meeting too. He sends his regrets to everyone here." The murmurings ebbed as the admiral cleared his throat and clicked the viewscreen to another slide, one filled with numbers and acronyms. "Admiral Mbenge will now go over the latest budget proposals for Fiscal year 2185 being discussed in the naval affairs subcommittee of the defense oversight committee in the lower house of the Alliance Parliament." A bald, deeply dark-skinned admiral rose from the table and strode to the platform. Kaidan was almost immediately lost in the jumble of figures the admiral rattled off, quickly going through slide after slide of spreadsheets and charts. 125,340,800 credits for the network and communications command…388,793,000 credits for the construction of an expanded garrison near the second-largest city on Terra Nova, to be split somehow between the corps of engineers, the personnel command, and three different subcommands within the material command …maybe I don't want to get promoted after all, he sighed, wishing he'd spent more time paying attention in his statistics class at the Academy. Shepard, on the other hand, was moving her stylus across the surface of her datapad with such speed and force it was a wonder the screen didn't crack.

"Overall," the admiral said, clicking to a slide filled with sums and trend lines, "Our operational budget will grow by about two percent, which is less than the five percent increase we had requested. This is mostly due to the committee's decision not to program for the construction of new capital ships before the FY 2186 budget cycle begins."

The admiral who had spoken up before let out a sudden cough. "Maybe if we hadn't blown two years' worth of construction funds on that Turian boondoggle the committee would trust us to spend the taxpayer's money more wisely," he grumbled, softly enough to pretend he wasn't trying to interrupt.

"Mackenzie, that 'boondoggle' has moved us over a generation ahead in navigation and stealth technologies," a silver-haired admiral near the head of the table replied with the lethargic annoyance of someone used to refuting the same criticisms time and time again. "And it's demonstrated our willingness to work with the Turians and other Council races on joint defense projects."

Admiral Mackenzie let out a short, derisive laugh. "Harry, I need new carriers – the Alesia is nearly twenty years old." He cast a baleful glance over at Shepard. "If Parliament wants to waste millions of credits doing nothing more than blowing kisses at the Citadel Council, let them do it out of the diplomatic budget."

Shepard leaned forward until she was nearly to the edge of her seat. "With all due respect, Admiral," she replied calmly, "The Normandy's stealth systems give us unparalleled infiltration capability – even more than the Salarians have – with the ability to deliver more concentrated firepower than any other ship its size."

"Lipstick on a pig, Commander," Mackenzie retorted.

"Maybe," Shepard shot back, a tinge of red creeping into her cheeks. "But your entire fleet couldn't spot that pig even if it was just a kilometer away and every sensor on every ship was looking in exactly the right place."

Kaidan choked back a laugh as Mackenzie flushed, leaning across the table and pointing a finger in Shepard's direction. "You think – "

"Fascinating as this discussion of pork products might turn out to be," the presiding admiral cut in, raising a hand to ward off any protests from Admiral Mackenzie, "We have many other items to discuss before adjourning, so let's move on, shall we?" Mackenzie leaned back in his chair, scowling at Shepard, who had suddenly developed an intense interest in the pie chart displayed on the main viewscreen.

Kaidan counted to ten before leaning over towards Shepard. "What's his deal?" he whispered.

"Mackenzie?" she whispered back, turning her head only a fraction from her study of the charts. "I'll tell you later."

The rest of the meeting ran by quickly – a few admirals came close to debating the wisdom of a proposal to expand the Fifth Fleet to a fourth group, more than any other fleet except the First – but no one seemed to have the stomach for anything more than wrapping things up and getting to lunch. The presiding admiral had barely finished thanking everyone for attending before Shepard had her datapad sliding back into a pocket in her portfolio, casting an apprehensive glance in Admiral Mackenzie's direction before sliding her seat back and standing up. "Let's get out of here," she said to Kaidan in a low voice, turning towards the doors to the hall. Kaidan could see Mackenzie hurrying around the corner, rushing towards them

"Elizabeth!" A middle-aged female admiral emerged from the crowd, her arms spread wide as she approached. Shepard's tense expression melted into a genuine smile, embracing the admiral. Mackenzie stopped short, scowling first at Shepard and then at Kaidan, before shaking his head and stomping away.

The admiral stepped back from Shepard, watching Mackenzie go with a frown. "You would think he would be over that by now," she muttered.

"No," Shepard sighed sadly, "Actually, I wouldn't." She stepped to the side, waving Kaidan closer. "May I introduce Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, my squad commander on the Normandy," she said, her voice returning to its normal strength as he saluted the admiral.

"Admiral Genvieve Dumont," she replied in a melodic, French-accented voice, returning his salute.

"Genvieve was my first CO," Shepard added, pronouncing the name in the same fashion as the Admiral, "Right out of basic –"

"I can't talk, Elizabeth," the Admiral interjected, glancing around nervously. "I have another meeting in ten minutes. But I couldn't let you leave without at least saying hello." Disappointment flashed briefly across Shepard's face. "It is good to see you," Genvieve finished, quickly saluting Shepard before rushing off in the direction of the main corridor.

Shepard sighed, turning back towards Kaidan. "She made Admiral last year," she muttered darkly. "They haven't given her the requisite lobotomy yet, but it's only a matter of time. I –" Her name rang out from another corner of the room. They turned to see yet another admiral advancing towards them, an insincere and overly friendly grin plastered on his lips. "I'll handle this one, Lieutenant," she told Kaidan, stepping away. "Meet me out in the hall." He didn't even have a chance to reply or salute her before the second Admiral came crashing in, greeting her loudly. The polite, frozen smile Kaidan saw on Shepard's face kindled an impulse to follow, to give her a diversion or at least an ally –

"Kaidan!" A hand gripped his shoulder and spun him around, away from Shepard and into a broad, ruddy face. "What are you doing here?"

It took Kaidan a few seconds to put the name to the face in front of him. "Tomas, good to see you," he said quickly as soon as the memory clicked into place. "Are you, ah" – he glanced back over his shoulder – Shepard and the admiral were gone – "Are you working here?"

"Nah – I'm on an Explorer ship, the Hudson, with the Second Fleet. We're in spacedock so the CO brought a bunch of us down here to see the show," Tomas gushed. "But what about you – what are you doing here? I thought you were out with the Third Fleet in the Verge."

"I was," Kaidan said, trying to look around to see where Shepard had gone. "But I got transferred just two weeks ago. I'm with the Fifth now – the Normandy." Seeing neither the Commander nor a telltale gathering of excited onlookers, Kaidan waved his friend towards the doors.

Tomas followed, his smile fading noticeably. "Yeah, I heard what Commander Shepard said. Didn't she just report to that ship?"

"Yesterday." The main corridor came into sight, choked with uniforms.

"Well, good luck with that," Tomas snorted. "I'm sure it's a great ship, but if she stays you'll want to get off quick."

Kaidan suppressed a confused frown, distracting himself with scanning the crowd of officers on either side. "What do you mean?"

"I was in one of her squads for a while, a couple of years ago. Frigid bitch." The confusion on Kaidan's face became evident, so Tomas stopped and dropped his voice into a low whisper. "Nothing but business, orders this and the mission that. Doesn't have any fun, doesn't go out with the other officers, doesn't even laugh when you try to crack one little joke in a squad meeting. I'm telling you –"

"Lieutenant? Are we ready?"

Tomas jumped back as if a thresher maw had just sprung from the deck. "C-C-Commander," he stammered, saluting.

"Lieutenant Mathieson," she replied calmly, her salute short and curt. "Lieutenant Alenko goes on shore leave at 1800 if you want to talk to him some more. Otherwise we need to get back to our ship."

"Understood, ma'am," Tomas said, giving Kaidan an I-told-you-so look. "Meet you at 1900 at the O Club, Kaidan?" Alenko nodded silently, deciding for the time being that the best path to take was none at all. Tomas nodded, then gave Shepard another salute before turning sharply and striding away.

Shepard watched him leave, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Friend of yours, Alenko?" she asked evenly.

"From the Academy, ma'am," Kaidan said cautiously. "I haven't seen him in a couple of years."

"Just remember you're due back on the Normandy at 0600 tomorrow," she said, relaxing her expression and her tone as Tomas vanished from view. "We're on such a short schedule if you get into any trouble you might get left behind."

"Yes, ma'am." Confusion crept back into Kaidan's mind, though he kept it off his face this time. "You won't have any problems with me."

Her voice softened further as she turned back to look at him. "No, you don't strike me as that type," she said. "Let's get going –"

It was Shepard's turn to be seized, a hand gripping her elbow and steering her towards the fringes of the crowd. "I can't say much," Admiral Dumont whispered, "But you need to hear what I can say." She pulled Shepard swiftly around a corner into a small alcove by a stairwell, raising an arm to block Kaidan from following.

"He's on my crew," Shepard said quickly, reaching under the admiral's arm to pull Kaidan into the alcove. "Anything you have to say to me is going to affect him too," she told Genvieve. Kaidan clenched his jaw to keep his expression blank, his arm tingling from Shepard's touch.

The admiral hesitated, but did not protest. "The meeting your captain is in, with the CNO?" Shepard stepped back, frowning. "He went with the CNO to a meeting with the other Joint Chiefs," Genvieve continued, "And the Minister of Defense, and several members of the Alliance Parliament."

Shepard's frown deepened into a suspicious scowl. "What in the hell do they want with Anderson?"

"I don't know what exactly the meeting is about," Genvieve cautioned, looking quickly over her shoulders to make sure no one else was near. "But there was one other who was seen going into the CNO's office. A Turian."

"What?!" Kaidan exclaimed.

The commander's expression did not waver. "What about this Turian?"

"There is a captain on my staff whose last tour was with our military attaché office in our embassy on the Citadel," the admiral said, her voice shaking nervously. "He says he recognized this Turian – Nihlus, he called him. He says –" she glanced around again, biting her lip – "He says the Turian is a Spectre."

"A Spectre?" Shepard's gaze sharpened. "Genvieve – "

"I don't know anything else," the admiral said quickly. "Not for certain. I have to go." She stepped back so fast she nearly tripped, steadying herself only when Shepard reached out and held her arm. The two women's gazes met. "Your transfer from Admiral Chang's office to the Normandy was very sudden, no?" the admiral whispered, holding Shepard's gaze a moment longer before twisting her arm away and hurrying around the corner and out of sight.

Shepard and Kaidan stood silently in the alcove for a long minute after the admiral's departure – the commander lost in thought, and Kaidan too bewildered by everything he'd heard and seen the last few hours to make sense of any of it. Finally, when it seemed Shepard wasn't planning on moving unless prodded at gunpoint, she blinked. "Let's go, Lieutenant," she snapped, taking a few steps to pass him and head into the main corridor before stopping close to him and turning so that her face was just inches from his. "I trust it goes without saying that none of what you just heard is to be repeated to anyone?"

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded crisply, willing himself to look calm and confident. "Can I ask, ma'am…" A look of warning passed over her face, but Kaidan pressed on. "Two weeks ago, when most of us reported to the Normandy, we were told the XO was still out on maneuvers and would be reporting late, though they didn't say exactly when." He met Shepard's eyes, holding steady until the hard set of her jaw relaxed. "Since you came from a staff office I'm guessing they weren't talking about you."

"Apparently not," she said, rocking back on her heels, "Considering I was ordered to the Normandy less than 72 hours ago."

Kaidan let out a low whistle. "That is fast."

"Normally such a rapid exit from a staff office is a sign that you've displeased your CO, but Admiral Chang was reveling in the attention he got from having me in his office. Couldn't complain about my work, either, if he'd bothered to pay attention to that," Shepard said darkly. "Nothing about this assignment has been normal so far, and I've got a feeling that's not changing anytime soon."

"Nothing?"

"Oh come on, Alenko," Shepard snorted, "You're too smart not to have noticed."

Kaidan gulped. "Well…we are overstaffed for a shakedown cruise," he said warily. "And the mission…I don't know, Commander. It just doesn't feel right."

"No, it doesn't," she said, shaking her head. "And not only are we overstaffed, but most of the command staff is overqualified for this kind of assignment – not just Anderson and I, but Pressley, Adams, Joker, you – none of us should be here." Kaidan nodded silently – there had been a lot of speculation in the junior officers' quarters when Anderson reported as to why someone with his experience was given this command. They'd given up after a few days, marking it down to the mysterious and impenetrable logic of Fleet Command. "I don't get it," Shepard sighed, leaning against the wall.

"Well, this is a high-profile mission," Kaidan ventured. "It's all over the vids because of the Citadel funding and Turian design. The PAO has been swamped with media requests to interview anyone on the crew, from the captain to the second-shift mechanic." Every request was refused, and Anderson had made it quite clear that anybody who talked to the press on the side would be court-martialed for endangering operational security. "Maybe the brass wanted a more experienced crew to make sure nothing goes wrong."

Shepard shrugged. "That's what I told myself at first. Their butts are on the firing line too if we screw up. Now," she sighed, glancing in the direction that the admiral had gone, "I'm not so sure." She stared pensively at the doors to the conference room for a few moments, then straightened up and turned back to face Kaidan. "At any rate, Lieutenant, whatever concerns we have should be kept to ourselves. If there is some hidden agenda or mission behind all of this it doesn't have a chance of succeeding if we let ourselves be distracted from accomplishing the mission at hand."

"Aye aye, ma'am," he replied, snapping off a quick salute.

She nodded crisply in acknowledgement, then stepped out of the alcove and back into the main hallway. Gazing down the length of the hall, she frowned as the several dozen soldiers and civilians still lingering all seemed to turn her way at the same time. "This is probably the best we can hope for," she muttered under her breath. "Let's get back to the ship."

Captain Anderson didn't return to the Normandy until late in the afternoon, just as the last diagnostics checks were coming back as clean as they always had. He slowed down just long enough to greet Shepard and be assured everything was running smoothly, then disappeared into his office. Kaidan, manning the weapons panel near Anderson's office, watched out of the corner of his eye as Shepard attempted to ask Anderson about his meeting, only to receive an unconvincing "Nothing to worry about," from the captain as his door slid closed behind him. She stood staring at the door, her eyes narrowing into something near a glare, then flicked her gaze over to Alenko too quickly for him to try to pretend he hadn't been watching. He felt a slight blush color his cheeks as their eyes met, shrugging his shoulders with a nothing-we-can-do-about-it-now air of resignation. The blush spread when she let out a short laugh, giving him a bemused smile. "Going ashore soon, Lieutenant?" she asked, taking a step in his direction.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, hoping the orange glow from the control panels masked the color in his face. "Just finishing up here. Then I'll change and head out."

She nodded, the smile fading into her normal, attentive expression. "Have a good time. Just make sure you're back and fit for duty at 0600 hours."

"Will do, ma'am." Shepard turned to leave. "Uh," he continued quickly, "You have any plans, ma'am?"

"Not really," she said, stopping long enough to glance back at him. "I might just stay here and watch some vids. Have a good evening, Lieutenant." She turned away and headed back towards the stairs to the command deck. He watched her until she vanished behind the loading bay elevator, and didn't turn back to his station until he could no longer hear the echo of her boots on the stairs.

Tomas was already at the O Club by the time Kaidan arrived, casually dressed in an old pair of fatigue pants and a rather tight-fitting dark shirt. Seeing Kaidan's uncertain glance down at his khakis, Tomas laughed. "I should've mentioned I wasn't planning on staying here long," he said. "Untuck your shirt and you'll be fine."

They ate quickly in the lounge before heading to the shuttle station that would take them off-post, chatting casually about the latest news on some of their other classmates from the Academy. The shuttle quickly filled with personnel from the many ships in spacedock, including Jenkins and some of the younger marines from the Normandy, some dressed comfortably for a relaxing night out with friends, others more carefully attired for a date or an evening at a club. A flash of reddish-brown hair froze the air in Kaidan's lungs – Shepard? – but as soon as the crowd parted he saw the hair was cut too short to be the hers. Not that she'd be caught dead in that flimsy top or don't-bend-over skirt at any rate – she'd be more of a pants-and-boots type. Tomas' elbow digging into his ribs broke the reverie he hadn't known he was in – the shuttle had arrived at the main stop for the entertainment sector, and he was holding up the crowd behind him. Muttering a quick apology to no one and everyone, Kaidan hurried off the shuttle and into the station.

The lower sector of the Arcturus Station had gradually been given over to restaurants, bars and clubs in the years since it was first built, as the proliferation of secure satellite stations allowed more areas of the central structure to be moved outside the fence. Nicer, more expensive establishments lined the corridors closest to the shuttle stop – admirals didn't like to have to walk very far to get to their three-martini lunches and dry-aged porterhouse dinners. Chain restaurants and shops crowded the middle levels. Faux-Irish pubs and dance clubs carefully designed to look casual completed the look of prefabricated corporate cheerfulness. The lower levels hosted clubs with at least one fight or raid every night and other anonymous, illicit enterprises that always flourished where there were lots of young marines with too much combat pay looking for too much fun.

It was into these lowest levels that Tomas headed, striding past the brightly lit display windows and perpetual 'Sale!' signs of the middle levels without even turning his head. Kaidan had only ventured into 'the Heel' once before during his first tour on the Station, mostly so when his father asked expectantly if he'd gone he could truthfully answer that he had. He'd gotten off the elevator, walked down the left side of the corridor, turned around at the sight of a fistfight about halfway down, then walked back up the right side until he got back to the elevator and headed up to the familiar and boring but clean and safe middle levels, passing the rest of the evening nursing a beer in the far corner of a sports bar as the Inter-Alliance Basketball League championships lit up the vid screens. "Are you sure about going down here?" he asked Tomas as they stepped into the elevator.

"Oh, absolutely," his friend replied, grinning. "The girls down here are a lot more fun – not the pay-for-play girls," he amended, seeing Kaidan's face darken. "But you'll never go back to the boring little teases in the middle clubs, my friend." Tomas grinned even more broadly, bouncing on his heels as the elevator slowed and stopped. "Trust me."

The lights and the noise assailed Kaidan's senses as soon as the elevator door began sliding open – loud, thumping dance music that made his teeth rattle in his jaw. Neon signs glowed harshly from the entrances of the clubs and bars, punctuated by the eye-popping flashes of strobe lights inside. The crowds gathered out in the corridor seemed orderly enough standing in line to get into a club or clustering around a makeshift patio bar or takeaway window. That would begin to change in two or three hours, he knew, warily eyeing the hardened faces and scarred fists below some of the regulation buzz-cuts that littered the crowds.

They hadn't gone more than one or two corridors in when Tomas abruptly stopped, pulling Kaidan in next to him at the end of one of the longest lines on that level. Kaidan craned his neck up to see what, exactly, they were queuing for, but the only working lights in the sign above the entrance were an 'r', 'is', and a 'y' at the end, though a neon guitar did shine brightly in front of a darkened upper-level window. "What is this place?" he whispered to Tomas.

"A club – Paradise City," his friend replied. "Mostly late 20th and early 21st century rock music. Live bands."

The name tugged in the back of Kaidan's mind. "Isn't that the place where those two marines got stabbed to death a few years back?"

Tomas shrugged, chuckling. "Yeah, used to be you didn't dare go in here if you didn't have at least half a dozen combat action medals. But that was then – the wrongful death lawsuits wiped the old owners out. New ones came in and cleaned the place up a little bit." The line moved forward a few steps. "They're nearly respectable enough these days to move up to the middle levels, but they'd pay three times the rent for this space up there." A few more steps brought them into the dim red glow of the few lights that were lit.

"Officers don't get slugged on sight anymore, huh?" Kaidan asked, still a little nervous – a quick once-over of the rest of the line confirmed his suspicion that he was noticeably overdressed.

"Don't start anything, won't be anything," Tomas replied, nodding. "Just make sure you keep a hand on your wallet – the pickpockets down here are first-rate." They advanced another several feet, finally catching sight of the pair of tall, burly bouncers working the entrance. One held a portable ID scanner while the other kept his eyes on the crowd, and both had large, military-issue pistols slung across their hips. They waived a tight cluster of four whispering girls into the club, bringing Kaidan and Tomas to the front of the line.

The bouncer with the scanner gave them a quick once-over, his eyes darting to the usual places a weapon could be concealed. "ID?" he grunted. Tomas already had his card out, handing it over calmly while Kaidan dug in his pockets for his. The bouncer finished with Tomas, waving him on, then let out a soft, exasperated sigh as Kaidan continued to search. He finally felt the smooth, cool surface of the card brush his fingers, quickly seizing it and pulling it out to hand to the bouncer. The bouncer scanned the card – looked at Kaidan – then looked at the readout on his scanner a second time. "Normandy, huh?" he said quietly.

"Uh, yeah," Kaidan said slowly.

"You'll never have a better commander than Shepard even if you spend the rest of your life in the marines," the bouncer replied, handing the ID card back to Kaidan with what almost seemed to be a wistful smile. "Tell her Chief Lukovic says hi."

Kaidan grasped his ID card and gave the bouncer a short nod. "I will. Thanks." He turned and followed Tomas through the dark entryway into the club.

He hadn't gone more than a few steps when he was brought up short by the sight of another bouncer, arms crossed, standing next to a slight, pale young woman wearing clothes so dark he couldn't see where they ended and the walls began. "20 credits, soldier," she barked, thrusting a portable credit charger at his face.

"For what?" he exclaimed, stepping back quickly to avoid a bloody nose.

"Cover charge," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "There's one every night we have a live band."

He shrugged, handing over his ID card. Just past the woman's shoulders Kaidan began to make out the outlines of the club's interior. A bar ran the along the wall on his left, its rail crowded with men and women leaning over trying to get a bartender's attention by tapping their cards on the bartop. Some small tables and chairs were scattered in front, serving as drink rests for the large groups who stood around talking while a lone waitress struggled to get through without dropping the fully loaded tray she carried. On the right he saw a small, dark hall lit by an 'Exit' and 'Restrooms' sign. A large, open dance floor occupied the entire center of the club, though he couldn't see the floor through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd that was pressed into the space, all facing towards a stage that ran the length of the back wall. Two dark-clothed men were moving about on the stage, setting up microphone stands and taping down wires. The woman flicked his card through her fingers, stopping just as a corner zipped past his chin – he took it from her with a muttered "Thanks," then stepped quickly through the hall and into the softly lit bar area.

His eyes were just starting to adjust to the light and look for Tomas when the entire club was suddenly plunged into near total darkness. Screams erupted from the throng on the dance floor – Kaidan instinctively reached for where his pistol would be, but relaxed as his mind realized the noise was excited rather than panicked. A single light began to shine, reaching from the ceiling and gradually illuminating the left side of the stage where a lone guitarist now stood. Clad in well-worn combat boots, loose-fitting fatigue pants, and an even looser black t-shirt draped over a long-sleeved white undershirt, the guitarist's face was obscured behind long waves of waist-length black hair. As the screams and cheers swelled the guitarist gave a small wave to the crowd.

With a flick of the wrist shrieking, ear-rattling notes began tumbling out of the guitar. The guitarist began to tap a foot in time as a second spotlight began to shine on the other side of the stage, revealing a young, Asian-featured man holding a microphone. He also wore well-scuffed combat boots and fatigue pants but sported only an unfastened 20th century-style ammunition vest above, exposing several tattoos on his chest as he started bouncing to the beat of the guitarist's line. The audience began to clap in time, more joining with each note while the guitarist cycled through the line a second time before the singer raised the microphone to his mouth and began to sing.

The words ran by too fast for Kaidan to pick them out of the muddied echo that reached the back of the club, but the entire audience was shouting along with the singer by the end of the second line. The house lights began to come up slowly, revealing a drumset in the center of the stage and the rest of the band scattered around; a dark-skinned man to the right of the guitarist in a tight-fitting Alliance Marine logo t-shirt, strumming a low-slug bass guitar; a blonde woman standing behind a keyboard at the back left of the stage, shaking a half-tambourine; and a second guitarist in the shadows to the other side of the drums. The singer stepped towards the apron of the stage and the outstretched hands of the fans on the floor, ratcheting up the audience's frenzy as they began to jump, arms and shoulders waving in time like roiling waves in a storm, singing along so loud as to nearly drown out the sound of the band.

"Kaidan! There you are!" Tomas stumbled into Kaidan, spilling a few drops of some dark liquid out of the drink he was holding with one hand. His other hand was wrapped around the arm of a petite blonde woman who he now pulled forward until she was right in front of Kaidan. "This is Ellie," Tomas said, already slurring his words. "And this," he continued, waving his drink at a second, taller, blonde trailing behind the first, "Is her friend Katie." Kaidan nodded politely at both women. "So, whatchya drinkin', Alenko?" Tomas rambled on, dropping his hand onto Ellie's back. "They've got a full bar here, lots of special drinks – look out for this Snake Venom stuff, though." He shook the glass in his hand back and forth, shaking his head. "They're not kidding when they say it gets you with the first bite."

"I'll just get myself a beer, thanks," Kaidan said, accepting his usual relegation to the role of wingman with a smile.

"Excellent – waitress!" Two waitresses were standing near the fringe of the bar area carrying trays of already-filled drinks for the patrons to buy – one filled with small plastic cups of mixed shots, the other with taller cups filled with beer. "A house brew for my friend here!" Kaidan reached over to take the cup from her, handing his card to her with his other hand. "So," Tomas continued as the waitress scanned Kaidan's card and handed it back to him before moving on to another part of the bar, "You ladies on shore leave, or are you stationed here?"

"Neither," the shorter one replied, stepping a bit to the side to let her friend into the conversation. "We're civilian employees here – I do force planning for the personnel command, and Katie's in contracting and procurement." Tomas grinned, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

Her friend shook her head as Ellie giggled and blushed in response, turning to Kaidan with a sympathetic smile – clearly she was as used to playing wingwoman to her friend as Kaidan was to being the perennial wingman amongst his. "So," she said, sipping the small, red-colored drink she carried, "Who are you guys with?"

"Ah, Tomas is with an Explorer ship that's here in spacedock for a few days," he answered. "And I –" A deafening crash of guitars and a high-pitched scream from the singer flooded his ears – "I just transferred here from Third Fleet."

"Come on, Kaidan, don't be shy," Tomas interjected, turning his attention from Ellie's neck just long enough to gesture at a nearby waitress for another drink. "He's on the Normandy!"

Katie's eyes widened. "The Normandy? They were talking about that ship for a long time on the news tonight – is it true Commander Shepard just joined that crew?"

"It is," Tomas said. "Which is why my friend here needs to have a good time tonight, because as soon as he's back on his ship it'll all be over."

"You're the one on the ship that goes out for months at a time," Kaidan countered, working hard to keep his expression even – something in the tone of Tomas' voice whenever he mentioned Shepard was sending a strange twitch through Kaidan's nerves.

"Anyhow," Katie chirped, "Where are you guys from – originally?"

"Stockholm," Tomas replied, trading his empty glass for the full one a waitress had brought him. "And Kaidan's from somewhere in Canada – Toronto, right?"

"Vancouver, actually," he said, forcing a polite smile onto his face.

Ellie seized Tomas' drink and took a large sip. "We're both from Buenos Aires – even went to the same secondary school – but we hadn't seen each other in years until we met up again here!" Tomas reached to take his drink back, igniting a fit of keep-away that ended with a large slosh of the dark liquid onto the light-colored, low-cut tank Ellie was wearing. Katie whipped a clutch of napkins out of the small purse she carried and both women began a mop-up operation as Tomas went in search of replacement drinks.

Kaidan sighed, turning his attention away from the ladies. There wasn't anything wrong with them; he just wasn't in to it tonight. He could predict the ending to the evening, the same as it had been dozens of times before with Tomas and other friends through the years – his friend and girl number 1 would eventually leave together, Kaidan would politely decline any serious advances from girl number 2 but would ensure she made it back to the shuttle safely, then head back to his quarters alone. He didn't mind – he rather wanted it that way, wanted to stay in the background, stay in control. Even so, he used to be able to at least enjoy himself sometimes – now all he really wanted was to finish his beer and get back to the Normandy for a few hours sleep. Maybe I've gotten too old for this, he wondered, taking a large gulp of his beer. Or maybe I'm just tired of pretending to like immature blowhards like Tomas just because we used to nod at each other in the halls at the Academy. The image of the officer's lounge on the Normandy danced teasingly before his eyes, quiet and uncrowded – maybe Shepard would be there, watching a vid with her feet up on the coffee table. The memory of that smile she'd given him outside Anderson's office floated through his mind, filling him with far more of a warm, dizzying head rush than the beer.

He barely heard the ladies excuse themselves to the restroom, nodding absently in response as his gaze drifted back over towards the band. They'd cycled through several songs, each as loud as the other as the crowd continued to jump and sing along. Kaidan could feel the glass in his hand vibrating with every downbeat. The singer had stayed near the front of the stage, the microphone in his hand – a real vintage 20th century piece – his vest flopping open with every gesture he made, revealing his many tatoos. Most were indiscernible at a distance but Kaidan immediately recognized some Alliance Navy crests. The red flames on a black background were the symbol of the carrier Valhalla, and the black horse's head on a green background was from the battle cruiser Attila – Kaidan himself had an old sleeve patch featuring a black horse's head facing the opposite way on a red background from her sister ship, the Genghis. Any ink visible when wearing fatigues was against regs, but hidden ones like those were fine even for active duty marines. The singer's hair was buzz cut, as was the bassist's – all six band members were in fatigue pants and old combat boots, so they'd probably all been active duty at one time, and some likely still were. Must be why they keep singing about violence and death, Kaidan figured, draining the rest of his beer as the singer screamed some line about scars. Marines tended not to sing about sweethearts and springtime.

"I see my timing is perfect!" Tomas crowed, snatching the empty glass out of Kaidan's hand and replacing it with a full one. "Where'd the girls go?"

"Bathroom," Kaidan replied, stifling a sigh at the sight of the new beer. "Uh, thanks," he said, hoping he could finish this and make a gracious exit before too long.

Tomas draped his arm around Kaidan's shoulders. "So, whaddya think?" he asked, trying to lean down to whisper in Kaidan's ear but forced by the noise from the band and the crowd to keep his voice near to a shout. "Did I pick a good one for you or what?"

"She seems nice enough," Kaidan said, taking a large gulp of his beer. "But you know I've never really been in to blondes."

"No problem – just turn off the lights!" Tomas laughed.

Kaidan hid his grimace behind the beer. "Maybe I'll just get her number and give her a call the next time I've got some leave coming up," he said noncommittally.

"She'll be married with kids in secondary school before that happens," Tomas scoffed. "Once you're under Shepard's watch there is no off duty. She –"

"Look, Tomas, can you cut out with the crap about Shepard, okay?" Kaidan snapped.

Tomas took half a step back. "Fine, fine," he said, looking at Kaidan with a mixture of uncertainty and surprise. "I'm just trying to warn you, man, step careful around her. Even if you don't do anything yourself, if she so much as thinks you were in the same sector as an incident she'll write you up so fast you'd think she was operating on Salarian time."

Kaidan's eyes narrowed. So that's why he's got such a sore spot for Shepard…Tomas had always pushed the limits of the regs at the Academy, talking his way out of any serious punishment more times than Kaidan could remember. Shepard, unsurprisingly, had apparently dropped the hammer on him for some sort of infraction he was used to getting away with – and his description of the situation was no doubt quite different from the one she would give if asked. "I got your point," he said evenly. "I don't want to hear it anymore."

"Sure," Tomas replied, giving Kaidan a wan smile that looked as fake as it probably was. "Let's get you another beer. You really need to loosen up."

The reappearance of the ladies saved Kaidan from letting a nasty retort slip out. "Sorry about that," Katie said as Ellie glided up next to Tomas and accepted a fresh drink from him.

"No problem," Tomas said, the flirty grin back in place. "Kaidan and I were just talking about the band."

Katie brightened. "Do you like them?"

"They're a little heavy for my taste," Kaidan hedged, taking another large sip of his beer, "And a lot loud, but the guitarist is good."

"Oh, he's the best." Katie replied happily, studiously ignoring the sloppy kiss her friend was giving Kaidan's friend. "Everyone says he could make tons of money playing professionally – well, the whole band could – but half of them are still active duty."

"Really?" Kaidan didn't have to fake surprise – he'd just been guessing when he'd observed the guitarist was good, figuring it was a safe thing to say about any band. "What are they called?" Ellie, her arms wrapped around Tomas, lost her balance and knocked into Katie – the distraction let Kaidan sneak a glance at the amount of beer remaining his glass. Fifteen more minutes…

"90 Days," Katie answered, shooting a frown at the still-embracing couple. "They're my absolute favorite band – I've been to every show they've played in this sector in the last couple of years. I wish they'd put out an album, but I guess there are regs against moonlighting or that sort of thing." She took a step away from the couple and towards Kaidan, a determined, make-the-best-of-what-you've-got look settling on her face. "I've downloaded every bootleg concert recording I can find, and about a year ago somebody printed up some cheap t-shirts with their logo on them and sold them down in the bazaar. I bought two so I'd have a replacement for when I wear the first one out."

"Looks like Saint's got one of those on tonight," Ellie chimed in, finally coming up for air.

Katie turned and squinted in the band's direction for a moment. "Oh yeah," she said, nodding. Kaidan followed her gaze – he'd seen the Alliance Navy logo on the bassist's shirt earlier, but hadn't noticed any other decorations on the varying types of black shirts all band members but the singer were wearing. The woman behind the keyboard was poured into a leather halter top – the drummer couldn't be seen – and the second guitarist remained too far in the back of the stage to be seen clearly. Finally, the guitarist swung around enough to expose the t-shirt he was wearing, which bore a yellowish circle with interior spokes and several short, talon-like spikes at regular intervals around the outside edge.

"A spiky wheel?" he asked, confused.

Katie shrugged. "I think so. You'd have to ask one of the real groupies up front if it means anything. I just think it looks cool." Kaidan nodded silently, dropping his gaze from the band to the fans closest to the stage, mostly women, who were packed together even more tightly than the rest of the crowd on the floor. He could see many of them were also wearing that same shirt, though some had modified it to fit their figures much more tightly. All were in black, jumping and shouting along as the club's lights flashed brightly, whether it was the shirt or something sheer layered over a tank top – there was even one woman in a sleeveless bodice with laces tied tight in the back –

The breath in Kaidan's lungs was punched out as the white light from the ceiling fell on the woman in the bodice, illuminating reddish-brown hair pulled into a tight knot and the pale skin of her neck and shoulders – square shoulders and toned, well-muscled arms raised into the air, a figure that could only belong to a marine. He didn't hear himself murmur an excuse to the others, didn't pay attention to where he left his beer as he headed into the crowd. She flickered in and out of his view as the waving arms holding drinks and datapads flailed back and forth in front of him, forcing him to duck this way and detour that way as the drinks came back down to be sipped or the datapads were lowered so their owners could see if they'd gotten a good shot of the band.

He moved towards the center of the floor as the band shifted into a different song, taking advantage of a momentary pause as the beat changed to slip through the first few groups. As the audience began to cheer and bounce again he was brought up short, stuck behind a tight knot of fans about ten meters behind her. Moving to his left, he maneuvered around them until he saw a nearly clear path between him and where she stood below the stage, directly in front of the guitarist. He took one step in that direction, only to be suddenly cut when he was nearly run over by a trio of screaming, laughing young women stampeding towards the back. They passed by quickly, delaying him just a few seconds – but when he looked back towards the front of the stage the woman was no longer there.

Shouldering his way into the midst of the crowd he looked around in all directions for a glimpse of those pale, bare shoulders or her distinctive hair but saw neither, only an undulating sea of black clothing and loose hair. As the music slowed he turned to head back towards the bar area, but a strange, itching sensation slowly moving up his spine prodded him to turn back around. The audience was calm, swaying gently with the slower beat of the interlude, giving him a clear view of the stage, and of the guitarist, whose hair had parted just enough to reveal one eye – an eye whose gaze was fixed on him.

As quickly as Kaidan's glimpse of the guitarist came it passed – he shifted, his hair swinging back into place and his head turning slightly as he seemed to move his attention to part of the crowd. Kaidan turned his head in that same direction, seeing a small door in the corner of the club, flanked by two bouncers and marked with a 'Private' sign. Shaking his head – Shepard, if she had ever been there, had moved on – he turned to leave as the music again crashed into another fast, loud crescendo, but the corner of his eye caught a flash of light as the side door swung open. He saw for a moment the silhouette of a bare-shouldered woman with her hair pulled up passing through the door, but then it swung closed again and she was gone.

He turned around for good this time, skirting around the edge of the club to avoid Tomas and the ladies as he moved quickly towards the exit. Pausing only long enough to give a nod to the ex-chief manning the door, he hurried out into the corridor – just in time too, he thought, watching the civilian police breaking up a fight a few doors further down. The elevator back up to the higher levels couldn't come quickly enough.

After an eternally long shuttle ride back out to the outer docking bays, the curved lines and alternating light and dark color of the Normandy finally came into view. He hung his head, relieved and tired, as the familiar voice of the ship's computer scanned him for contaminants and processed him in. It was just coming up on midnight – enough time to get a couple hours' sleep and be waiting for Shepard in the mess in the morning.

"No luck tonight, Kaidan?" Joker's voice echoed down the hall from the cockpit. "You must be the first one back."

Kaidan walked through the bullpen and into the cockpit, leaning against one of the empty chairs behind the helmsman's station. "Figured I'd need my sleep," he said, looking down at the pilot, still wearing his cap and still running tests on the engines and nav controls. Does he never leave?

Joker chuckled. "Good idea. I'll probably knock off myself after these checks are done."

"Aren't we going to run those again tomorrow?" Kaidan asked, leaning in to see the results Joker was getting – all green, as usual.

"Yeah," he replied, shrugging, "But I like to be sure."

"Well, if you're not sure now," Kaidan sighed, "You never will be." Joker gave an 'eh' in response, focusing on his panels. "Anyhow, I'm going to crash. Tell Shepard I'm back – she'll be happy to hear that." He backed away and passed through the doorway into the bullpen.

Joker's voice stopped him short. "I would, but she's not here."

"She went ashore?" Kaidan asked, a chill settling on his skin.

"About ten minutes after you did," Joker replied, tapping the buttons to bring up the hull integrity display screen. "If I'm still here when she comes on board again I'll let her know."

Kaidan stood still for a long moment. "Yeah, sure, thanks," he finally managed to call out, dragging himself down the hall towards the stairs.