DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach – it belongs to Kubo Tite.
MISC: Written for Spiritualenergy at LJ with the prompt "The universe exploded yesterday". Beta'd by Lilmisfits8811.
The universe exploded yesterday.
I was always just 'that girl' - the one who people gave weird looks to and who cooked things no one wanted to eat. I would never have expected that I could ever do something like explode a universe – maybe I would have thought that kind of power was pretty cool, though.
I knew where it really was, the Hougyouku. Aizen was smarter than to keep it on display, especially with some of the arrancar being twitchy under his rule.
Especially because of Him.
I was so silly – so mindless.
When I used Tsubaki on Ulquiorra, I didn't miss. I didn't kill him but I didn't miss. Ichigo's reiatsu wasn't far away, charged with his horrible hollow strength. I could feel the others too – Ishida, Chad, Rukia and Renji. And some of the Gotei 13 were there. It was truly war and I had never believed it would actually happen. The pain and horror of such a thing always seems so far away.
People have died already. He told me every time someone fell. Told me that they were so distracted tending to their wounded that they wouldn't remember to try and rescue me again. And that would have been okay.
It would have been better, in fact! I had…people protecting me. I wasn't in any immediate danger. If they had to come to Hueco Mundo, they should have done it when it was time and not because of me.
But it wasn't time when they came to Hueco Mundo, and they didn't come just to rescue me. Exactly.
I think they meant for me to explode the universe. They wanted to distract everyone so that I could do it. And I was happy, because this was what I'd been waiting for. Planning for when I was sitting in my cell, staring at the eternal night through the bars.
I moved through empty corridors and felt the thrum of battling reiatsu all around me. Sometimes, Las Noches shook from the force of the battles going on around me and I felt like I was blind to not be seeing it. It was so close and so far away all at once. I think that maybe I was the only one walking the cold white corridors. And all the way through them, I thought of Him.
I should have thought of Ichigo – that would have made more sense, right? Once upon a time, anyway. But I'd been there for so long and I'd learnt in that time that Ichigo needs no one. Least of all my thoughts.
Well…He probably doesn't need them either. He would be insulted if He believed I thought that He does! But I need my thoughts of Him. I needed them then. I thought that maybe…maybe I could free him.
I was so stupid.
I saved them all. I really did! The arrancar…they all turned back to the way they were. It was because of the Hougyouku that they were arrancar, see? I rejected that fate. The shinigami easily overcame the weaker hollows that they turned back into, and Ichigo…he and his hollow powers managed to overcome Aizen.
I didn't realise what it all meant, at first.
When I found them, they were all so happy that the war was finished at last. It was infectious and confusing. I was overwhelmed by their voices and touches and by the sight of all those hollows still alive on the floor. So different to the arrancar forms I'd known them by.
And then I began to realise.
I saw Him, skulking back out of view behind a quartz tree. He looked like a wildcat – so strong and beautiful. I didn't know who He was at first. The levity of everyone had wiped my mind clean of possibilities of more bad stuff.
But there's no mistaking His eyes.
He would always look at me, always keep His eyes open when He touched me. They burned with such an unearthly blue, like He was lit up from the inside. I liked His skin – I really liked it! Although, He always felt kinda cold. I just preferred His eyes to His skin. You'd have thought they were open eyes because He always looks bad-tempered, but they aren't. He's just very secretive.
I loved how His hair clashed with mine. He'd tell me to shut up and He'd storm out of the cell without even putting His clothes on every time I told Him that. He hates pillow talk, I guess.
I cried when I saw Him. The universe exploded. He moved only as close on defensive paws as the shinigami would let Him. My heart seemed to ache beneath my gratitude when Ichigo stopped Captain Kuchiki from drawing his Soul Slayer.
It hurt Him too, though maybe not from gratitude. I could see how different He looked in His posture, not just because He was a cat now. I could see something like depression weighing Him down. It was so unlike Him – so alien.
He wasn't a man anymore.
They didn't hurt Him – Rukia said He had helped fight against Tousen, though that was probably payback for His arm, not a gesture of alliance. But out of lenience, no one hurt Him.
They wouldn't let me near Him, either. And after they frog-marched me to the portal, I just looked back over my shoulder long enough to see His tail whip, His feline face twisted into a look of disbelief. The vision blurred with my tears and I could only let them shove me through the portal. The image of His widened eyes was burned into my mind.
They knew. They forbid me from looking for Him or using my powers on Him. The penalty would be death if I disobeyed.
But that was yesterday. And today, as I sit at my kitchen table and watch the moon rise far beyond my window, I feel Him. He's getting closer, His reiatsu like a familiar but acidic burn.
It's not breaking the rules – I'm not doing anything. And when He gets here, if He forces me to change Him back then I don't really have any choice but to accept.
Grimmjow can be very persuasive.