Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise...like you didn't know that already.

A/N: No I haven't forgotten my other fics. This one is not likely to be very long at all but it has been buzzing round in my head and stopping me writing my other fics, so rather than ignore this pesky muse I thought it best I write it so that humour doesn't accidently creep into my more serious fics.

The Muggle Way

It was the second week of the last summer holidays that the Marauders would be able to enjoy. The coming September would see them returning to Hogwarts for their final year of studying and their NEWT examinations. In the meantime though, the Marauders were all enjoying their summer break, especially because it was the first one during which they had been allowed to do magic outside of school.

"Accio lemonade," Sirius called out as he pointed his wand across the room and summoned the glass of lemonade to him. It flew over Remus's head, dripping slightly on its journey.

"Padfoot, really!" Remus rolled his eyes and brushed his hand through his hair to see how damp it was.

"What?" Sirius asked, clearly confused by his friend's comment.

"Would it have killed you to actually get up and fetch the glass?" Remus asked as he wiped his now sticky hand on his jeans.

"Why would I do that?" asked Sirius in all seriousness. "That's what magic is for…to be used!"

"If all wizards thought like that, they'd all be obese from the total lack of exercise," muttered Peter, shooting an envious look at Sirius's slim waistline, even as he picked up a second donut.

"I'm still trying to decide whether you or Prongs is the laziest," Remus commented casually.

"Prongs," Peter chimed in. "He actually apparates to the bathroom and back rather than walk the ten feet."

"We're wizards," James piped up. "This is what we do!"

"But you don't have to do it all the time," Remus pointed out. "What are you going to do when we're back at school? You won't be able to apparate to the bathroom or the kitchens then."

James sighed dramatically. "I'll struggle through."

"Purebloods," Peter whispered knowingly to Remus with a smirk.

"Absolutely hopeless," Remus agreed with a smirk of his own.

"We're not hopeless, we're wizards," Sirius remarked as he levitated his now empty glass back to the kitchen counter.

"And brilliant ones at that," James agreed just before he apparated directly in front of Remus, making him jump backwards and spill his own drink down the front of his shirt.

Sirius burst out laughing whilst James made a half-hearted effort to apologise.

"I'm going to go change my shirt," Remus said as he gingerly pulled the damp fabric away from his chest with two fingers.

"Just use your wand to clean it," Sirius suggested, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world and he couldn't believe that Remus hadn't thought of it for himself.

"Unlike you two, I don't feel the need to use magic for every little thing."

"They'd be hopeless as muggles," Peter chuckled.

"Muggles," Remus echoed in a voice that was little more than a whisper. He stood a few paces from the rest of the boys as the beginnings of an idea flittered through his mind.

Sirius was the first to notice that he was standing there silently with an odd expression on his face. "Moony? I thought you were going to change your shirt?"

"Uh oh," James shook his head and shot a worried look at Sirius. "He's got that look again."

"You're right, he has," Sirius's own face sobered considerably. "He's plotting mischief against us."

"Undoubtedly."

Remus smirked at his friends. "No mischief, a bet," he said with a grin. "A bet that you two can't function for one single week without using magic."

"Of course we can," James snorted. "It's not like we've been allowed to do magic outside of school until this summer."

"But you've always had your parents and house elves to do everything for you," Remus pointed out.

"They don't do everything," James automatically replied, although Remus could tell he didn't sound entirely convinced by his own answer.

"They cook your meals, wash up the pots afterwards, wash your clothes, make the beds…" Remus's voice trailed off when he realised that James and Sirius weren't arguing with him.

"I'll bet this is the first time either of you have had to fend for yourselves," Peter chimed in. "I agree with Moony, there's no way you two could go without using magic, not without having parents and house elves waiting on you hand and foot."

"Like your mother doesn't wait on you," Sirius snapped.

"Not here now though, is she?" Peter pointed out.

Sirius and James had no reply to that rather obvious fact. They were staying for a week at the Pettigrew's holiday cottage on the east coast. There were no adults around at all and the four boys were being trusted on their own for the first time in their lives. Remus privately believed that the Potters were merely glad to get the two primary mischief-makers out of the way for a while.

"So are you going to take the bet?" Remus asked mischievously. "A bet that you two can't do without magic for a whole week."

"What do we get when we win?" Sirius asked in his somewhat arrogant manner.

"You get to choose what we do on the last day," Remus suggested.

"The beach!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly, as though they hadn't been arguing about it all morning.

"And when we win," Peter interrupted, "it'll be a trip to the British Museum."

"Bor-ing," James whined.

"Then you'd best make sure you win," Remus smirked. "Or else it's a boring trip to a dusty old museum for you."

"Better make sure they don't cheat either." Peter pointed at Sirius's right hand, which was still clutching his wand.

"Your parents have a safe here, don't they?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, it's in the study." Peter held out his hand for Sirius's wand. Sirius looked like Peter had suggested he chop off his arm and hand it over, rather than simply relinquish his wand for a week.

"If you don't hand it over, we win by default," Remus smirked.

"Fine!" Sirius muttered and he passed his wand, albeit reluctantly, to Peter.

"You too, Prongs," Remus ordered his equally reluctant friend.

Once the wands were safely locked away, and Remus had changed into a clean shirt, the four boys sat down around the kitchen table in order to discuss the finer points of the bet.

Remus unrolled a piece of parchment and tapped his quill against it.

"What's that for?" Peter asked.

"We're going to make sure that they're thoroughly tested in this," Remus replied. "That they're not going to make us do all the work, or live like slobs for the week. We're going to give them a list of things they are going to have to do, in order to win this bet."

"Make them cook a meal the muggle way," Peter suggested, and Remus dutifully wrote it down.

Half an hour later and the list was coming along nicely.

"Each time you complete one of the tasks we'll tick it off the list," Remus explained as he added ordering take-out by telephone.

"Each time they complete one properly," Peter corrected. "They're not going to burn a meal, serve it to us, and call it done."

"And we reserve the right to add to the list as and when things come to mind," Remus smirked.

"That's hardly very fair," Sirius complained. "What's to stop you adding a dozen things on the last morning to make us fail?"

"We'll limit it to one addition per day then," Remus compromised.

"This is going to be the easiest bet we've ever won," James gloated as he re-read the list. "How difficult can it be to make a bed?"

"Just remember you have to do it properly," Remus reminded him. "Hospital corners and all that."

"What's a hospital corner?" Sirius asked doubtfully. "You're sure you've not made that up to make sure we fail?"

"The bed in my parents' room is made properly," Peter said. "Just go take a look at that one."

"I still say this is going to be a doddle," James grinned. "If muggles can do it, it'll be easy as pie for us."

"In that case you've nothing to worry about, have you?" Remus asked innocently.

"Nothing at all," Sirius grinned. "So pass over that list and let's get started."

Remus shook his head briefly and pulled out his wand, tapping the parchment with it. "Now you can have it," he said with a smirk. "Now I know you can't tamper with it."

"Anyone would think you didn't trust us," Sirius huffed.

"Not as far as I could throw you," Remus replied easily as he stood up and left James and Sirius to ponder which of the tasks they would tackle first.

"What's a telephone again?" he heard James whisper.

"Like taking candy from a baby," Peter snickered to Remus.

"Hard to believe that pair actually take Muggle Studies, isn't it?" replied Remus as he joined Peter in laughing at the fun they were about to have at the expense of their arrogant friends.