Well here's the update promised. Sorry it's short, but somethings have to be, 'ya know? I had Numb by Linkin Park and Last Resort by Papa Roach playing when I wrote the second part of this chapter, so that should explain the morbid tone. I would ask you to review, but that would be too desperate. Instead I'll raise a single eyebrow and jerk my head in the direction of the review button.
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I'm laying on something soft; and it's slowly moving up and down in a rhythm. Without opening my eyes I trail my hand up and down what's serving as my bed, and I recognize the perfect body of a girl; and best of all, my girl. I slowly squint my eyes to see Joni in deep sleep. Her hair is wild and thrown all over the place. I quietly laugh, finding that even Joni, the best girl I've meet, isn't perfect.
"Curly?" I stop laughing and move to be face to face with her.
"Yeah baby?"
"Are you okay?" And it all hits me. Last night; the rumble; and Tim. Especially Tim. I remember that I was crying when I stumbled back into the car, even though I was convinced I wasn't. I remember Joni holding onto me until I forced the flow of tears to stop, and even then she still held on.
"I'm fine." I mumble and pull away from her grip. "I just…I just exploded last night, you know?" Joni places her hand on my thigh, and I flick my eyes towards her. Those eyes are filled with nothing but understanding. Not pity; not disgust; but pure understanding. I begin to think that maybe we have more in common than I thought.
"Yeah, I know." We sit in silence for a few more seconds, trying to come up with something to say next. Finally Joni begins to chuckle.
"What?"
"Every time there's an awkward silence, a queer is born." I scrunch my nose, but begin to laugh too.
"That's the stupidest thing I've heard." She laughs harder and moves closer, so close that I can fell her body heat on my arm.
"I know, right? It's so fucked up its funny." Without asking, without thinking, I shift to press my lips forcefully against hers. She doesn't resist. In fact, she welcomes any sexual act with open arms. I shake my head and pull away, still laughing.
"You're still as eager as ever." She rolls her eyes.
"As I'll ever be, asshole. But a saint such as you would never sleep around with a kid." She spits the last part out and crosses her arms, pulling away. I'm not in the mood to argue, so I only shrug and start up the car.
"Come on. I gotta get you home before your brother kills us both." Joni huffs, but doesn't say anything. I guess she doesn't feel like arguing, either. The ride back to her house is silent; since both of us are pretty much exhausted from last night. There is a kink in my neck, which I try to get out on my own.
"Let me do it." Joni shoots her hand out and starts to massage right under my hair. "Lord, Curly. Don't you know how to sleep right?" I scowl in her direction.
"Yes I do, thank you very much." Joni squeezes a little too hard on my neck.
"Stop being so grumpy."
"Babe, my brother hates me, I had to sleep in my car, and now I'm so tired I don't know which way is up. I think I have some damn good reasons for being grumpy." Joni sighs, and removes her hand. We're at the front of her house, which looks completely deserted. But I know better. Matthews is probably inside, hoisting a rifle to his shoulders. I grin wickedly at the picture and reach over to smack my lips against Joni's.
"Bye, Curly." I smile a dopey smile and rub my hand on her thigh.
"Bye babe. I'll see you Monday." Joni frowns.
"Why not sooner?"
"'Cause you're going to have your ass grounded." Joni laughs and throws her self at me, nearly cutting of my neck with squeezing. She brushes her nose against my cheek and inhaled.
"See you Monday then." It sucks how I can't move. I can't even breathe. There's something about the way she trails her hand down my arm that keeps me paralyzed. I'm able to nod though, which is enough for her. She gives me one last peck before hopping out of the car. It isn't until she's disappeared behind the screen door that I'm able to shift back into a sitting position. It takes half a minute later to stick the keys into the ignition. Man, this girl can really fuck me up.
I drive to the Dingo. No way in hell am I going to go to my house and get my ass kicked. When I get there, about two cars are in the parking lot. I come to a screeching halt at the far end, then leap out. I have a sudden hankering for caffeine, and reason that a black coffee would do me good. Inside the diner, though, I see that there's one thing that can do nothing to help me. Tim Shepard. I decide to ignore him. Maybe the bastard wouldn't see me. It's stupid to wish for that, I know. But a guy can dream, right?
"Give me a coffee." I slapped a quarter onto the table. The guy behind the countered eyed me, then looked towards Tim. He finally shrugged and moved towards the coffee pot.
"You're not suppose to drink that shit, Curly. You're still growing."
"Who are you? My mother?"
"Watch it, kid. You're still my kid brother, and I'm still your leader."
"Yeah," I take a long gulp of the coffee. "You still get to boss my ass around, I get it."
"Snap out of your shitty mood, Curly. I admit that the things I said were pretty fucked up, but holding grudges isn't the way to go."
"But that's what the whole gang system is about! The only reason why we start fights is because we lost one, or someone took something from us." Tim shakes his head and runs a hand though his hair.
"No it's not, Curly. You still got a load to learn, kid. Ricky might end up taking my position when I'm gone."
"I thought it was Randy?"
"Nope, Ricky. And he knows a hell lot more about leading a gang than you do." I close my eyes. Maybe it'll all go away if I just shut it out. It doesn't, though. When I open my eyes it's all still there.
"Sorry Tim." My brother shakes his head.
"Sorry is getting old, little brother. Get your shit together." He puts his own quarter on the counter and flipped to collar of his jacket. "See 'ya around." I watched him walk out of the diner, then turned to the waiter.
"How long has he been here?" He shrugged.
"Since I opened, which was about five. I think he knew you were coming here." I rub my eyes and push my money forward.
"You must have been scared shitless, huh?"
"No." He says it a little to quick, and shifts in a jerky movement.
"Then you're a fucking liar, because he scares even me." I down the rest of my coffee and stand to leave. I pull out a light and a match, and start puffin'. Once outside I just lean against the edge of the building, hopping the smoke will bring down my anger and confusion. Why is Tim such an ass? Why is the world full of shit? And why am I the only one who doesn't seem to get life? It's all enough to make me fall to the ground and stare up at the sky, helpless. I'm defeated. I'm nothing. I'm Curly Shepard. Taking a match out of it's box, I twirl it around in my fingers. No one will remember me, I realize with a start. They'll all know Tim, but who will I be in ten years? The kid brother? No. No, I'm gonna make my own fame. No way am I gonna ride of Tim Shepard's coat tails.
It's time to go down in history. It's time to make a name of myself. It's time to live my life. I stand and take a few steps back. Then, I strike the match. It's the perfect combination of red and orange; just as a flame should look like. I let it flick dangerously close to my fingers, then chuck it towards the Dingo. It takes a minute or so, but after the flame wraps around a plank, it spreads like a disease. It isn't long before I'm running from the car, feeling he heat soaking through my shirt. As I drive away the whole left side of the building is gone; with the fire moving slowly to the right.
I don't care, though. Let it burn. Let the whole fucking planet burn. Nothing really matters a whole lot now.