99 Drops of Spilled Tears

99 Drops of Spilled Tears
By: soulreaper

"Can't you imagine two people becoming one and falling as a shooting star?
I love you when I'm strong and when I'm weak." – BoA Kwon (Kimochi Wa Tsutawaru)

2 years after Light's demise, Misa lit 6 candles around Light's picture and gazed at it. She truly loved him and she watched his life flash before her eyes, hoping that it would've been her life that flashed before his eyes. But that was only in her dreams. She never really did see how he died. Every night as she slept silently, she'd have this nightmare that the police had captured them both. Suddenly after, Light was shot and his dear life flashed before her eyes.

Night after night she'd have the exact same nightmare. When she found out that Light passed away…

She froze with a sense of eternal loneliness.

It felt as if her heart had stopped the second she found out. She fell to her knees and cried. It felt as if she cried 99 drops of spilled tears. The pain was so unbearable she couldn't stand to live any longer. She wanted suicide, for it was the only option left.

"Suicide… the one thing I need to do. But every time I try - the second I try to jump off…I feel as if Light whispers in my ear to not do it. I'd feel his presence…but when I turn around, no one's there. I'd feel guilty if I jumped. I'd hear Light saying "Don't do it, Misa." When I do suicide and see Light up in heaven, he'll be furious at me." She whispered to herself. How could the thing she desires be so simple with consequences she would never want to go through?

"This isn't what I want to believe because I know it's true. You're not dead, Light. Someone as good as you won't die so easily. Tell me, did you truly love me? I will do anything for you, Light. Remember that, I love you, Light. I should've said this while you were alive. If you can hear me…I want you to remember what I'm saying." Misa said to Light's picture. She pulled the bows from her ponytails and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. She picked up Light's picture and opened up her window. She put his picture in the palm of her hands and remembered all the moments with Light. "When you kissed me, I felt as though I could be anything or anyone while our lips touched. When you held me, I felt as if I was safe as long I was in your arms. Your gentle kisses and your warm embrace were something special. Now during the night, I wish to sleep silently just to dream of you. I don't care if it's a nightmare or whatnot. All that matters is that I dream of you." She said and gently kissed his picture.

Light. The single word that lit her face up and she'd be fine. Light meant the world to her. Everything she did, she'd have to be thinking about Light. She couldn't think properly without first thinking of Light. She thought everything about him was divine – her world to be more precise. "I hope he's happy wherever he is. I wish I could tell how he feels at this moment."

"Misa…" echoed Light's voice.
"What? Where am I?" she asked herself. She found herself in complete darkness. "Light…where are you?" she called out. "Wait…Light…DON'T GO!" she yelled. She heard footsteps coming closer and closer. Could they be Light's? She turned around slowly to see who it was. She saw nothing but darkness and disappeared into sand.

"This flashback… I know something like that can't happen. It felt as if it was a true memory. If only Light was here. He'd know what to say. I can never tell what a true memory is. I make them up and they are seemingly realistic. What if Light was someone I just made up? What if Light never really died? What if I'm not real and Misa isn't my name?" she thought to herself in confusion.

"Misa…" said a voice. The voice was dark and warped.
"Who's there?" Misa asked as she looked around and left the window clutching Light's picture.
"Misa…just try to remember…"
"Remember what?"
"I can't say."
"Who are you? You can't possibly Light. Light had a more gentle voice. And you don't sound like any of my family members. God?"
"I can't say."
"Can't I at least give you a name? I mean…it feels as if I'm talking to myself."
"It doesn't really matter Misa."
"Fine, I'll call you…Light. It'll make me feel as if I'm actually talking to him." She said and then room was again alone with the single inhabitant.

Misa blew out the candles on her dresser and closed the windows shying away from the cold. She lay down on her bed and held Light's picture in her hand. "Goodnight Light." She said and kissed his picture. She went to sleep hoping to have dreams of Light and only Light. She felt as if she held his heart in her hands. She loved everything about him but, she always felt as if she had forgotten something very important about him.

"I don't feel like walking on my feet today. My feet feel numb and out of place. It feels like someone has rearranged my body for eternity. I feel like I'm drenched in Light's blood. I feel like having an eternal sleep." She mumbled. "Misa…wake…up…" said the voice.

Misa opened her eyes slowly only to see she was in complete darkness. She lay down on a bed that had chained her feet and legs to the bed. She tried to release herself…but it wouldn't move. She tried shaking the bed but it looked as if it was stuck to the ground. "Light!" she called. There was no response and only her voice's echo was to be heard. She closed her eyes imagined Light next to her, while she was chained on the bed. It didn't matter if she was chained up, as long she was with Light. She imagined the chains on the bed were releasing her as Light watched her. Her mind was filled with every moment and everything of Light. The chains didn't move one tiny bit. She opened her eyes and tried release herself. It was no use. It felt as if the chain became harder every time she tried. "It doesn't matter…or does it? It'd be better if you kill me now…I'm sorry … Light." She said. She waited for the moment of her death.

A wish isn't a dream. But a dream is a wish from the heart. Misa's death wasn't coming at all. She felt no physical pain but her thoughts of Light took over her body. "Light…wait for me…" she mumbled. "Light, I truly miss you…but do you miss me?" she thought.

Misa opened her eyes slowly to find herself on the stone cold ground. She was still in complete darkness. In front of her was a labyrinth. "I'm released from the chains?"

The labyrinth was huge. It seemed as if it had no end just by looking at it. "It won't hurt just to try to find an exit!" she said. She looked around the stone walls of the labyrinth. It seems it was going into a square spiral and then into another.

Misa started walking towards the entrance of the labyrinth. Someone walked quickly passed her. This face was familiar. His face was a bit too familiar. It was Light. "L-Light! Light!" she yelled. There was no reply and he kept on walking. She ran after him as fast she could. She reached for his shoulder but her hand went right through his body. She tripped as she tried to chase him. Footsteps walked closer and closer.
"Misa…don't be afraid." Said a familiar voice. It was Light's voice. She was sure of it.
"Just like my dream…Light calling my name in complete darkness. But this isn't complete darkness…a labyrinth in the complete darkness. I disappeared into sand when I turned around and trusted my instincts…always…even if their wrong." She thought.
"Misa…don't trust them. They're worng! Hurry…Misa! I'll meet you at the exit of the Labyrinth."
"It sounded exactly like Light's. I don't trust any of you impostors. Light is really sweet and there's nothing in the whole universe that could replace him."
"Misa…you can trust me…"
"Be quiet! The Light I know isn't as stupid as you are. Such a lowlife trying to impostor Light.".
A door appeared as all the walls disappeared and the only thing remaining was herself and the door. "I thought so." She said as she put a small smile on her face.

"Those pathetic idiots." Misa said under her breath. She was mad at all those impostors trying to impostor Light. She was so mad, she kicked the door down. She walked in the room with rage and saw nothing but a chair with 3 legs. "Today…I don't feel like myself. A chair with 3 legs shouldn't keep its balance."
"Go on. Sit down. If you truly believe that this person, "Light Yagami," is the most precious person to you, than you should have no problem sitting on a non-balanced 3 legged chair." Said a voice.
"I can do anything." She said as she walked forward and sat on the chair. The chair was balanced completely. It didn't tip a bit. Her whole body was once again overcome by thoughts of Light.
"Why is Light most precious to you?" a voice asked.
"That's because…because…I don't know!" she said. The chair started to lose its balance.
"A chair on 3 legs shouldn't keep its balance, just as you said. Think, Misa Amane." Said the voice.
"Light…I love you so much." She said. She kept on mumbling Light's name. The chair stopped tipping.
"Tell me, why Light Yagami is the most precious person to you?" Said the voice. She closed her eyes and smiled.
"He's a knight in shining armour. He didn't save me from a demon or anything. He showed me more than just life itself. He's my first love…I love him so much…it's hard to think without thinking of him. I still feel his presence, right here, right now." She said.

"What would be your biggest sacrifice to save him?"
"Anything in the world?"
"It's your decision."
"I would do anything to see him once more. I want to hold him again. When can I see him?"
"Not as of yet."
"Why not? I will see him. You'll see."

"My final question: How do you feel now that Light is gone?" the voice asked.
"It's painful. It's like an invisible knife driving through my heart. I wish I died instead. It doesn't matter if I died. It's for Light. I know I've been a fool since Light's gone. But he's an important half of me that I can't live without." She said as she began to cry.
"What if Light died for you?" asked the voice.
"I-I thought t-that was the last q-question…L-Light! Why did you have to go? I-I still love you!" She yelled up in the air. "If he d-died for me, it should've b-been me."

"You truly deserve him." Said the voice as a black notebook dropped from air. She got off the chair and reached for the notebook. It was titled "Death Note" in Japanese characters. She picked it up and all of her lost memories came intact and fell into place. "Light was the one who brought justice upon my family? The one who used this for our world? I'm so happy!" she said as she smiled.

Misa then found herself in the front of Light's college in the middle of the night. She held the Death Note tightly. She saw a familiar face walk slowly pass her. His face was a bit too familiar. It was Light. She ran up to him as fast as she could, embracing him from behind.
"Light! I can't believe it's really you! You're alive again!" she said as she wiped away her tears.
"Alive again? What do you mean? I haven't even died once. Who are you?" he asked. She let go of him slowly. Her tears began to fall down again slowly.
"I see. The price to save Light was his memories of me. Which also means our relationship." She said quietly. "Goodbye, Light." She said. He rolled his eyes and continued walking.

"I hope you'll remember me soon, Light. I've missed you so much there's been 99 drops of spilled tears. At the last drop, an open door appears."

Author's Note: Yes, at the scene where Misa's sitting on the chair and talking to the voice, the price to save Light was his memories of her. And that also means their relationship. Misa was transported to the darkness because the gods thought she had enough potential to save the person who was most precious to her that has crossed over. And she did. Just believing in herself and having thoughts of only Light, saved Light. Sorry it was such a sad ending, but that's how I planned it from the start. This is a Song Fanfiction. The song is "Kimochi Wa Tsutawaru" (Expressing My Feelings) by: BoA Kwon. Some of the things said in this Song Fanfiction were from that song.