Teach me Sadness and Pain

Author's Notes

This fic is inspired by the angst YuuRam fic that I had read. But I was wondering…why is it that Wolfram-sama is the only one who gets hurt? And he is always the uke? So I hereby declare that in this fic Yuuri-heika is the one who will be submissive… There will be a lot of torture in this story, some rape and some healing. But no it will not be your usual WolfYuu but a love triangle.

It will be Murata Ken x Shibuya Yuuri x Wolfram von Bielefelt. But other than that there will be slight Gwendal and Anissina. And maybe I'll add Saralegui too if the reviewers want me too of course.

I got my title from the song of Shinkai no Kodoku of Solitude on the Ocean Depths. It was Stellar Louisser's image song from Gundam Seed Destiny and I simply adored her. One time she would be a naïve girl who dances every time she feels it and the other will be a scared girl who doesn't want to die.

I am searching for a Beta Reader, anyone available??

Let me give you the parts of the song that will be appropriate for this story

kanashimi wo oshiete...

Teach me sadness...

hitomi wo tojite itara kanashimi mo mienai to

nukumori shirazu ni ireba kizutsuku koto mo nai to

"If you closed your eyes, you won't gaze into sadness."

"If you forget the feeling of warmth, you won't feel pain."

That was for Yuuri and for our very own Murata…

shiranai hazu no nukumori mo naze

sagashite madou unabara

Why do I search the ocean depths aimlessly?

For the warmth that I should not have known.

And for our Little Lord Brat

tooku de shizuka ni hikaru yasashii fune ga hitotsu

sakamaku nageki wo nosete mune no nanima ni kieru

A little ship glitters silently in the distant, alone.

Swept away by a torrent of grief, it disappears under the waves of my heart

Yes, those lyrics would fit for the three of them. You might be wondering why it is MuraKen x Yuuri x Wolfram and not MuraKen x Wolfram x Yuuri. Hell, I am very sorry for MuraKen x Wolfram x Yuuri lovers or MuraKen x Wolfram admirers but I hate it!! I really don't know why though I love Shinou x Murata…

And so here is my story hope you enjoy it and please review

Chapter One: The Pile of day gone by...

A story like this should have never been told for it is secret as it was fragile and yet here I am writing. It was a story of love that should have never been, of betrayal that hurt many lives, of pain that surpasses everything and of sadness that could never been vanished. Perhaps it was because of the sun ever shining light that attracted everyone but this sun can only give its light to the moon for it is his destiny but is it really is? And so here I am wishing that may the people who accept their destiny found happiness and those who defy it found eternal glory.

When Shibuya Yuuri looks at the sleeping man beside him, his heart will ache like somebody is clutching it. For he knew…he had loved him more than a man can do to a woman but why does he have to hurt him so much. It had been a year since they meet, a year he found out that he was the Maou and so many things happened.

He ran his hands to the blonde's face.

Was it your revenge because I avoided you? How can I not avoided you? Of denying your love when the world where I came from this love is considered a deadly sin? Just by having attraction to a man can land in you in hell. I was afraid, Wolfram von Bielefeld, afraid that people will judge me for having this feeling, I was afraid of my very own feelings on top of it.

The only dream I had is to have a job in a Baseball Bat Company and when I get home to a 2K house, I will open my house and I will find my wife smiling at me and saying "Welcome Back…What do you want for dinner, hanata?(1)". Then I will have two cute children. One is a boy and the other is a girl, the boy will be a great baseball player and has a fruitful life while the girl will be cute and bake delicious treats for me. I never really expect to be a Demon King and be engaged to a boy.

I know it is wrong for me to defy you of what you deserve but must you hurt me like this…I know your affair with the knight. I am no fool, Wolfram, if you really want to break the engagement then just say so… I know that you had never really loved me and you are just protecting your pride… But can you blame me for loving you as I am doing now? I had grown fond of you Wolfram.

The young monarch knew about the affair of his fiancée to Lancelot. How could he now know when he saw it in his own eyes? He saw it…in his own room too. God damn it!

FLASHBACKS

Yuuri is smiling to himself as he walked to his room despite his wet clothes. He had been gone to Earth to take his final test and the results had been acceptable. He wanted to surprise everyone that why he pops in the castle bathroom. He had already warn Ulrike about this and she gladly say that she will not utter a word. Murata Ken meanwhile is still busy with his exams as he is a top grade student and their time schedule is not the same since they don't go to the same school.

His smiled widened as he clutch the ring he found in their house. Shibuya Miko aka Jennifer told him it was a family heirloom. The Enju no Kōgyoku (2) it was a jewel found in the top. It was red like fire and cut like a brilliant and the band was made of faded gold. He will propose to him in Earth Way, he had finally admitted his feeling for his fiancée but as he was about to open his bedroom's door. He hears a weird noise…

Curious that it might have been a thief, he opened it slowly careful not to make a sound and peeked inside. The sight broke his whole being.

Here is his beautiful, fire wielder fiancée, his face flushed as a man taller to him devours his neck. There is the noise again and Yuuri realized that it was Wolfram's moan of pleasure. He closed the door. His bangs covering his face as he walks away…

He closed his eyes as he felt his eyes crying and he went back to the bathroom and 'tried' to return to Earth but since his heart and mind is filled with emotions he can't concentrate.

He thought Wolfram would never leave him. That Yuuri is special to him but just thinking about it makes him sick. The scene kept playing on his eyes like a movie… but no it was reality and reality is always painful. He cried there for hours until he calmed himself. He decided that he will pretend that he doesn't know. Surely everyone in the castle would notice them if the act like a pair of eels. He will wait until he heard a report. And so, he clutched his fist and plants a fake goofy smile on his face. If the time come, he will be merciful just wait for the time…

But it was days…no months. Still no one came… And so he decided to ask…

"Ne, Conrad…who is that man?" he asked trying to act like the oblivious fool he was. But no, after what happened… he had grown up. He learned how to not act aggressively since if he did do that, the man will be dead months ago. He learned also how to pretend he is happy and really no one noticed.

They were on the middle of a sparring match with Conrad and he saw the man…Wolfram's lover. He was certain since he knew that face too well. He is quite handsome. He has short dirty blonde hair and a pair of dark hazel eyes.

Conrad look at his back and then to Yuuri alarmingly.

"Why do you ask, Your Majesty?" he asked and Yuuri saw in his eyes something like worry and fear.

"I saw him sparring and got curious. He is quite skilled" he lied. He learned to lie, yes, if he didn't learn it, he can't keep secrets am I right?

Then Yuuri looked at him again and he saw what seemed like relief?

"He is one of our best soldiers, Corporal Lancelot Marguerite" Conrad replied.

It was when he realized that the whole castle knew and they were protecting him… Imagine all the people you trust doing this kind of things. Why? But still he pretend to be a fool hoping that someone will be loyal to the king and tell him what he knew. It was sickening to feel it. But the king is merciful at nature and so despite his mask, he will remain to be.

No one can see his pain except one…

"Shibuya…" a voice said.

"Huh?" Yuuri said.

He was back to Earth and sitting on the park where his joy, pain and anguish had started. He turned and saw Murata Ken, frowning slightly at him.

"Murata, I thought you were in the Castle?" he asked.

"I was but I got bored of it…" he said sitting in the bench.

There were moments of silence…

"You knew about Lord von Bielefeld and Corporal Marguerite, am I right?" Murata said.

His head shot up and he saw a familiar smirk and gleaming glasses.

"It's amazing that you are the only one who noticed, even Conrad and Gunter didn't saw anything…" Yuuri smiled.

"I really didn't know that you are a fabulous artist, maybe this can take you to Oscars. But still you have to fight the position with me…" Murata smiled.

Yuuri laughed the real one he had for a while. He laughed so hard that it had form tears in his eyes. Thankfully, it was already dark and no one is around anymore. Murata smiled at him but then he noticed the tears cascading in his rosy cheeks.

"Shibuya…"

Yuuri laughed and cried altogether.

"Am I an idiot or am I a fool? I mean what's the difference between the two? And why am I crying and laughing all the same. I must be a mad man…" he said between his laugh and sob.

Murata looked at him and he was surprised when he felt a weight on his left shoulder.

"Shibuya…?" he asked looking at the boy who is now crying silently.

"I'm fine, I just need to cry and a shoulder to lean on… Stay just for a minute… Murata…" he requested…

"Of course…Yuuri-kun"

For once, Yuuri didn't think of anything. He just let the tears fall from his eyes and cry. Murata didn't say anything at all. He just let the sun cry. His shoulders were wet and yet… he didn't say anything at all. He just looks at the full moon. It goes on and on for hours. Until, finally, Yuuri raise his head.

"Thanks, Murata…" he smiled, yes, a true smile, one with the goofy look.

And Murata smiled back…

Then, there was that light that brings back warmth…

"It's the sunrise…" Murata said looking at the sun rising ahead.

"The Sun is always beautiful…" he added.

Yuuri now is the one listening.

"What do you plan on doing… Your Majesty?" Murata smiled

Yuuri's bangs covered his eyes and said "I'm merciful. But if anything happened, can you stop me from killing Wolfram and the others…"

"You made it sound like you are really going to do that…"

Yuuri frowned and said "I am afraid, Murata. I am afraid of myself. Than I am not the person they knew. What if I was not able to control myself? Will I ruin Shin Makoku? What if…"

"Shibuya, you are thinking very much. If you do something foolish, we will make it right but I doubt it…We will support you…"

"We…?"

"Yes, I, Lord von Voltaire, Lord Weller and even Lord von Kleist…"

"I wonder about that… they knew about Wolfram yet…they haven't said a word… I mean, I knew they were protecting Wolfram and I understand it. But can't they trust me…"

Murata didn't say anything…

"You are the King…and all you utter is law and all law must be obeyed" he said.

"Indeed, but this pass weeks I learned that law is not something that imprison people. It is something that protects them… and I want to…" what did I want? Revenge….?

"I am the Great Sage, your closest advisor but above all these Shibuya, I am your best friend so I will support you and if you go…past the limits…I will stop you"

"Arigato, MuraKen"

And so this is the beginning of something forbidden… But let it be for the pain of the heart can only be vanquishing by the joy of the heart… Pain is not something we wanted or deserve but if the time comes that it disappear in the mourning heart it will shine again. This heart can only be healed by the person you trust but what if the person you trust and the person who had hurt come again. Who will you choose?

O.O, I am very sorry for Wolfram lovers but don't worry Wolfram will not really be the villain. There are things that I wanted to write but I don't have much time. Please wait for the next chapter. Reviews are welcomed. Saa…mada ne?

1. Hanata: Dear

2. Enju no Kogyuko: Fire Stirring Ruby, I got it from Mai Otome...the Gem of Mai Tokiha-hime.