If you've ever heard the song "I'm Super" by Big Gay Al, you'll all know what I mean. If you haven't heard it, look it up on YouTube right now.

Disclaimer: I don't own either the song or the show, although the song is something that I would make up if I had the time.

How the Internet, Fai, and Rum Scarred Kurogane

Kei Lawliet

"Oh god..."

Kurogane flopped down into his chair and nursed the arm he had injured earlier while fighting demons. Those two words were becoming more of a prayer than anything else.

This new world they had landed in was strange. The people there didn't even give a second glance at them when they arrived. Indeed, the entire population themselves seemed abnormal to begin with, so Syaoran, Sakura, Fai, Kurogane, and even the white manjuu bun seemed to fit in quite nicely. Magic was a common practice here, ranging from tarot cards to a rather explosive spell that had set Kurogane's cloak on fire. People came sauntering through this town wearing even more colorful clothing than Kurogane's outfit, so no problems there. Demons also roamed the outskirts of the cities, and some more civilized even inside the city limits. It wasn't uncommon to find someone, say, wearing a flashy red kimono with doggie ears ("Look, Kuro-woof, it's another puppy!" The usual chase scene ensued.).

Each had found their own things to do. Syaoran found a book shop with a rather large selection of books. He and Sakura had emerged loaded with boxes and both were currently immersed in reading; the young princess had even found some things to her liking. Kurogane had contented himself with battling some of the demons outside the village, as he was not training Syaoran today. And Fai had also discovered two new things that Kurogane now hated with a passion.

The first, strangely enough, was liquor. Rum, to be precise. The only alcohol drink that Kurogane would never, ever keep in the same room with him. For fear that the baka mage would drink it.

Kurogane had always known that the magician was a bit of a lightweight, but this drink seemed to affect him worse than ever. But Fai loved it, so he was allowed to "Keep a bit for yourself in your room" as Syaoran put it. Kurogane had disposed of that quickly enough, but the mage always seemed to have more. ("Why is the rum gone?" Fai had asked when he discovered what Kuro-chii had done.) And the more Fai had, the worse he got.

The second thing was something Kurogane had never heard of before, but swore he would never use in his lifetime.

The internet.

Yes, Fai had discovered the wonders of the internet. The first incident had involved a video on metube or youtube or whatever the hell it was dot com. Some fangirls had got together and put together some videos containing...questionable...pictures of him and Fai ("Kuro-myu? What are we doing in this picture? It looks funny!").

And then he found that. That stupid, stupid song! He had been playing it all day, over and over forever! Just when Kurogane thought it would stop, Fai would start it again! Getting drunker and drunker by means of the rum with every song. And he was blasting the music so loud you could hear it throughout the entire house! Even the ever-patient Syaoran had to leave the house eventually; Kurogane was already long gone. Now Kurogane had come back, and Fai was still playing the song! The tune was now embedded in Kurogane's brain, and all he could do was sit down with a broken arm and a throbbing headache and wish for it to all go away.

The music suddenly stopped, and Kurogane groaned, waiting for it to start it again. But it didn't. Half a minute later and it still hadn't started. Kurogane sat up straighter and looked over at the stairway that led up to Fai's bed room. Had it truly stopped...?

Fai suddenly came tumbling down the stairs, laughing all the way. His face was flushed and he looked giddy. "Mokona, start it up again!" he shouted up the stairs. Kurogane groaned. Fai began to sing along with the music.

"Bombs are flying

People are dying

Children are crying

Politicians are lying too

Cancer is killing

Texaco's spilling

The whole world's gone to hell, but how are you.?"

Mokona hopped down the staircase and landed on Fai's shoulder. They grinned at each other and started up again.

"I'm super!

Thanks for asking

All things considered

I couldn't be better I must say!

I'm feeling super

No nothing bugs me

Everything is super when you're

Don't you think I look cute in this hat?"

Fai danced around the room and over to where Kurogane was sitting. He smiled and pointed at Kurogane's arm.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple

But I just can't feel too bad for you right now

Because I'm feeling

So insanely super

That even the fact that you can't walk

Can't bring me down!

I'm super

No nothing bugs me!

Everything is super when you're

Don't you think I look cute in this hat

These little pants, this matching tie

I got at the Vogue

I'm super!"

Kurogane covered his ears with both his hands, but somehow that only seemed to amplify the sound. When this was over Fai would regret EVER learning how to use the internet.

"...Everything is super when you're gay!

(When you're gay!)"

Kurogane's eye twitched slightly and he looked up to see the blue-eyed magician standing in front of him with a sappy grin on his face. "Did you like my song, Kuro-mi?" he asked, his words slurred together.

"You..." Kurogane growled, standing up slowly and placing his hand on his katana.

He didn't get to finish, however, as Fai suddenly fell forward into Kurogane's chest. Kurogane had to drop his sword and catch the mage before they both fell. The rum seemed to have taken its affect, and Fai snored softly in Kurogane's arms. "Che."

Sweeping him up into his arms, Kurogane carried Fai bridal-style up the stairs and into his room. Laying Fai down on the bed, Kuro-pii glanced over at the computer on the desk. He hit the "X" button on the corner of the screen and the web page disappeared. He sighed. Thank kami for that. And Mokona was asleep too, so he didn't have anything to worry about.

Stretching and yawning, Kurogane headed back down the stairs into the living room. Syaoran greeted him, having just returned from wherever it was he had been.

"Is he asleep?" Syaoran whispered, motioning up the stairs.

"Yeah," Kurogane replied, "Try not to wake him, god knows what will happen if he does."

Syaoran nodded and headed down the hallway to his room. "Good night, Kurogane-san." Kurogane shrugged in response.

Kurogane lay down on the couch in the living room. The bed in his room was too small, and he preferred the couch anyway. Turning on his side, Kurogane yawned once more and tried to get some sleep.

"...I'm super!! Thanks for asking...!!"

Kurogane literally jumped fifteen feet into the air, hit his head on the ceiling (the house was rather small), and fell back down again. He glared over at the staircase where the Fai and Mokona were standing, watching his reaction.

"Hyuu, you were right, Mokona," Fai whistled, "Fifteen feet, who would've thought?"

Mokona bounced up and down. "I told you Fai, I told you! Mokona was right!"

Fai laughed. "Well, that's another bet I've lost to you, you're amazing! I still can't believe it..." Kurogane was now glaring up at the two with so much hatred that even Fai felt chilled. "Uwaa... Kuro-daddy is mad..." the magician speculated. Kurogane's body seemed to freeze up with anger.

"...MAGE...!!"

Lying on the bed in his room, Syaoran sighed as he listened to the bellows and squeals that issued from the living room. Why, why, why was it always him?

Haha I love that song... R&R Please!