"Edward!" Alice followed me through the house, as I walked from room to room in the house, patting back my hair, hoping I looked somewhat presentable for my date with Bella. "You need to go hunt!" I had been busy over the last few weeks, and due to the growing relationship with Bella and the closer we had gotten, I had become confident in my self-control, to silence my hunting-instincts, when I was with Bella.

Perhaps too confident, a voice said inside me. It was one I chose to ignore.

"Alice, I'll be fine. I would never hurt her." I was sure of it. My love was much stronger then my thirst. I promised myself I would go hunting later that week, just to be on the safe side.

"Edward-" Alice started, but I cut her off, suddenly annoyed to how she was pressing the subject. Why couldn't they trust me?

"Hey, Alice, I'm sorry to have to leave you hanging, but I need to pick up Bella in, " I cut off, checking my watch. "Three minutes. I can't be late picking her up, okay? Sorry. It'll be fine. I promise."

Mentally and physically, I blocked off Alice and her chirping warnings from my mind, walking out the front door, breathing in fresh air outside, totally unaware my life was just about to change forever. Turning left, I walked behind the house, so I could run in the shade of the forests.

Two minutes later, I was at Bella's door, kissing her on the forehead as I lead her to her car, waving goodbye to Chief Swan, as he looked at me with eyes pulled into slits. He had never trusted me after I had left Bella, and rightly so.

I remember everything about the ride. Bella had declared herself to drive, since I drove too fast, though there wasn't much speed in that little piece of crap she called a car, despite my offers to buy her a new, better one. She had turned on her favorite CD, the first song on the mix being her lullaby. She blushed as it first came on, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. I smiled at her, and I remember thinking, thinking so clearly, how much I loved her. How much I loved Bella Swan.

And then, we were lying in our meadow, the greenness surrounding us, as the sunset. Bella looked gorgeous every moment of the day, but right then, I was staring at her, unable to take my eyes again. I was seeing her through a new light. She had never looked so beautiful in her entire life, and suddenly, I realized I wanted to marry Bella Swan. I wanted to marry her, and be there when she woke up. That moment, I wanted to be human so bad, it hurt. I hugged her as close as I could without crushing her bones, being so content at that moment, I almost could have fallen asleep, right there, in my love's arms.

The last of the fiery sun, blazing shades of yellow and orange and red and blue dipped underneath the land, slowly burning out as the light seemed to evaporate in midair, the sun seemingly cutting itself in half again and again, before the last of it sunk into the waves of the landscape. I felt my throat catch. I had been alive for hundreds of sunsets, but sunsets where the single thing that never got old. I could watch a million, and it would still be like watching the very first one.

And without even knowing it, this coming moment marked the moment I would come to remember and to regret forever.

The last of the light was consumed by the overcoming darkness, and as it disappeared, it caught inside Bella's hair, illuminating the red streaks in the waves, in the contrast to her flawless pale skin, her perfect, pulsing, pastel throat. I stared at the angelic girl in front of me, even as her red lips flickered up into a slight smile.

At that exact second, the moment frozen in time, a dancing breeze came into the meadow, lightly blowing her hair towards me, its scent rocketing towards me, hitting me full-blast, and I gasped as it overcame me, intoxicating me. In shock, I sucked in a breath and clench my mouth and nose shut, begging not to breath, desperate to grasp hold over myself, reminding that this was Bella, I loved her, Bella, I loved her, Bella, I loved her, Bella, I loved her.

The last thought came to me, sick and predatory. Must. Have. Blood.

I lost control. I lost control. Through years of working on perfecting it, the scent and taste overflowed me, and I shattered everything I had built up. I grappled with everything in my mind, begging not to lose it, but my muscles, my body, craved the blood in helpless covet. I lunged towards her, my mind sliding over to hunting mode, where I would black out, powerless over anything but desire. The final thing that pushed me over, the final thing shoving me off the edge of reality, was Bella's terrified, chocking scream, and I faded into oblivion.

It seemed like years, months, or days that I resurfaced, but truthfully, it was probably only minutes later I gained some control, enough to look around, and think. The incredible taste still lingered in my mouth, and it took a few seconds to remember where that flavor had come from.

Everything froze.

Shaking horribly, I squeezed my eyes shut, pointing it towards the ground and forcing myself to open them, and collapsed onto the dirty ground, shivering. On my hands, crusted under my fingernails, was Bella's blood. It was everywhere. I stared at it, nearly black again my colorless skin. I could see it; I could see my hands digging into her flesh, greedy, like some kind of animal. Her body sent me over the edge- it looked like it had been mauled by some animal, bloody and broken. I was too shocked to think, to do anything. The first thing I thought was my large, white, safe home, and thick golden carpet. Looking back, I had no idea why, except to want to get far, far, far away, where blood wasn't drying on my hands and on my clothes. Somewhere I could curl up, and pretend this was just a normal nightmare, and that my parents would wake me, only to find that it was really still 1918 and I could go back to sleep, to get better dreams.

In my terrified mindset, there was only one thing I could do: Run, run, run, running far away, as far away from this place as I could. So I ran, becoming a blur of color as my legs pump steadily.

I slammed through the doors of my house just minutes later, falling against the door as I threw it closed, shaking the entire frame. The entire family was already gathered. Esme and Alice huddled together, silently dry-sobbing and mourning. Everyone else's eyes revealed their pain, and a bleak air filled the room. Of course everyone would've known the second it happened, with Alice's visions. I realized then, that this just didn't affect me- this would take a toll on all of us. Bella had been considered a part of our family, vampire or not. Looking to the side, I could see boxes already half-packed, ready to flee from our beautiful home and lives.

I glanced over, flinching as I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror. My eyes were a horrible burgundy red, and dried blood was caked everywhere, even my bronze-colored hair. Letting out a dry sob, my body bent to the ground, unable to control itself any longer.

I turned with pity back to my family, not bothering to shield my eyes, red and guilty and miserable, from them. It was a sign of my failure, one I deserved.

"Please, " I begged, finding my creaking, dry voice at last. "Please, I'm begging you, can't we just go away- far away?"

They looked at me, shame obvious in the eyes, each the exact pretty golden-brown color- it used to be our family's pride, displaying our difference and humanity.

I didn't share in that pride anymore.

"Yes, Edward, " someone spoke. I didn't look up to see who it was. It might've been Carlisle, but my mind was traveling and flying other places, making other plans.

"You're not going to die, Edward, " someone said. This forced me to look up, my eyes floating over to the little pixie Alice, knowing she was the one who had spoken – she was the only one who would've known what I was inner contemplating.

I couldn't answer that, and the thought didn't leave me. It still floated around in my mind. Did I deserve to die, as I had killed Bella, so cruelly, so hopelessly, despite the petrified scream? Did it hurt more, knowing that it was me, the one she loved, the one's who hands were the one she put her life into? Did it hurt knowing that vampires, even the ones who loved you so damn much it hurt, could suck the life from your veins?

I didn't know. But those questions wouldn't leave my mind. They would never leave my mind.

We- my family, I mean- had plans, plans for this when it happened. Back when the new additions weren't as well prepared, we had moved several times. I felt a wave a guilt – we had built the great life in Forks, and I had messed it all up, true Edward Cullen style. It took about twenty minutes to get the cars packed up, to get our identities erased, plucked away as if we never existed, and replaced with new names and stories, all of which we knew forwards and backwards in minutes.

It wasn't until I was in the backseat of a car with Jasper and Alice, Jasper on the wheel, that it truly hit me, and I hunched over, contorting my body to be able to lay down on the hard leather seats and dry sob.

I had killed my true love, my light in the dark, my light, my moon, and my stars. I had killed my dear Bella.

Thanks for reading! I'm rewritting a lot of the chapters, because quite frankly, my writting was crap in them - don't worry, I'm still writing the end, and have a pretty good idea of how it's working out. Thanks to all my readers, and to any new ones reading this, thanks for reading the first chapter! Make sure to leave a review and tell me what you think, because it all means a ton to me! Thanks guys. Keep being 100% awesome.

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-Sare