Author's Note: Thank you for all the encouragement! Thank you also for the reviews/favs/watches!

This chapter was getting too long, like about 15 pages I think, so I broke it up. No lemon in this one, but we're getting close. Next chapter. Throwing a monkey wrench and some doubt in Sakura's plans. Thanks to DaydreamingMonkey for the ideas on this one when I got stuck.

Disclaimer: Don't own. No money made. Blah. Blah.

She's Leaving Home

Chapter 17

He loved me. That's all I could think about was how he had told me he loved me.

And then our serious make-out session that filled my insides with fire each and every time I thought about it.

But before I get ahead of myself, what I had hoped would be a productive weekend, productive in me losing my virginity to Kakashi – a man who loved me, did not go as planned.

XX

"You've got a smile on your face," Naruto pointed out as we walked the halls. "A really huge smile, like you…" His face blanked as he thought about what I might have done after school. "Ew, Sakura, you know what? I don't want to know."

Hinata and I giggled as his face changed through different expressions of disgust. I decided to hang out with him and Hinata for lunch, because I had been neglecting my friends. I needed to keep things as normal as possible, so as not to arouse more suspicions than necessary.

"I'm going to go get something else to eat," Naruto announced loudly. "Fit your girl time in then."

We watched, almost in hysterics as Naruto stalked off the quad.

"A-are you g-going to s-see him a-again this w-weekend?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah, I guess. As far as I know, he wants me to stay at his flat every weekend my parents are gone, so I won't be alone."

"N-nice. S-so did y-you c-come to a d-decision from last night?"

I paused for a second. "Yes. If it happens, it happens," I said. "I don't want to plan and plan, then not have it go according to that plan." I felt that was the most mature action.

But you still have a plan, Inner Sakura pointed out cheerfully.

Ugh, what was she doing back again? This was not a three-way conversation.

I did have somewhat a plan.

I know that I wanted there to be romantic music, maybe some candles, and I would be wearing super cute undergarments.

But outside of that, I liked imagining what might happen or how it might happen.

And what about the emotional aspect of afterwards?

Shut up!

What if you two break up? What if you get caught? What if you get pregnant? Or worse, what if he gives you something incurable?

A lance of fear brought me back to reality.

"Hm?"

"I-I didn't s-say a-anything," Hinata told me. I looked down at my friend, who was looking very pale and drawn today. I hoped that wasn't because of my phone call last night. "B-but I m-might have done."

Hinata pointed across the commons to several figures heading our way. I recognized one of them, even from this distance as Professor Orochimaru. I was sure his trademark smirk was in place. Maybe, I tried to rationalize, they're simply getting lunch and heading off somewhere.

But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn't the case.

They were coming for me. I had a good idea why; there was no point in running.

Hinata looked from them to me, but thankfully she didn't faint.

In all, it was Professor Iruka, Asuma, and of course Orochimaru.

"Miss Haruno, I hate to bother you but your friend Naruto said we might find you here," Professor Iruka said, looking properly chastised at least.

"Yes," I nodded, carefully avoiding looking at the other two professors.

"I was wondering if we might have a quick chat, just over there. Then you can return to your friend here. Would that be alright?" He nodded at Hinata, who was a rather gray color now.

"Okay." I hopped down off the table and followed them. The silence was very uncomfortable as I walked between Asuma and Orochimaru. Whatever was going on, I was sure he was the cause.

We walked just out of earshot of Hinata, stopping in the shade of a small tree. Iruka looked to Asuma, who simply shrugged and pulled a cigarette from behind his ear. Sighing, Iruka instead looked to Orochimaru for assistance.

"Sir, this was your suggestion," Iruka told him pointedly.

"Yes, but you are a more senior staff member," Orochimaru declined politely.

Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose, fingers hiding the long scar there for a moment, as he sighed.

"Miss Haruno, Professor Orochimaru here has brought some concerns to me in hopes that I might be able to offer you some advice." Iruka was sure to glare pointedly at Orochimaru before continuing.

"Okay."

"There's a rumor going around that you are romantically involved with one of our staff members."

"And?" I asked as I tried to ignore the bead of sweat making its painstaking journey down my back. Best to play this off as nonchalantly as possible, I supposed. "Are professors in the habit of chasing down rumors like we're back in high school?" Oops, Inner Sakura showing her colors there.

"No, not typically," Iruka told me with another well-placed look at Orochimaru for good measure. "However, a staff member expressed some legitimate concerns over a student report and thought we should intervene just in case you were even considering making good on one of these rumors.

I have to tell you that although there is nothing in the policies that expressly states the limits of professor to student affairs, it does bring in a question of ethics that might affect his…"Iruka paused, "or her job. Especially with a romantic involvement. He or she would probably be under investigation, to determine whether any nepotism was present with this student during any semester the professor taught them. That person's reputation might come under fire, do you see?"

"But, these are just rumors," I pointed out. "So, all hypothetical."

"Er, yes, just hypothetical. So, is there anything that you want to tell us, hypothetically while we're at it?" Iruka pressed.

Kakashi had told me once that Iruka had been a middle school teacher before he transferred to the college. I could see it now. He had that special look they all had, the one that convinces you they might be able to read your mind, even though they couldn't. Well, I was older now and those looks weren't going to work on me.

"No, not really. Is this official?" I asked, glancing at Orochimaru. That glued-on smile was still firmly in place. I could see the early wrinkles, the parentheses beginning around his mouth.

"Of course, not," Asuma said. Finally, he piped up. "There's nothing official because there's only rumors. Are we done here?"

This last question was lobbed at Iruka, who was still trying to work me over with his middle school tactics.

"Yes, we're done, for now. Just remember Miss Haruno, ethics."

How very strange. I watched them all walk away, wondering what had been the cause of that.

Orochimaru had promised that if I had given him that little piece of information, then nothing more would come of threatening my relationship. But here we are again today, beating a dead horse.

The sweat on my back turned as cold as ice.

Asuma had been very uncomfortable. Must have been roped in as a witness. Iruka, well, he seemed to be an upstanding guy who just wanted to do the right thing. And Orochimaru, he was still up to something.

But, then it was a little convenient that Naruto had disappeared the exact same time these three had come up to me. And I knew he was really concerned. Would my own friend, one of my best friends since forever, have sold me out because he was uncomfortable with my life choices?

Was it going to be like this always? Or at least until the end of the semester? Or maybe always?

Was some higher power trying to tell me that what I was doing was wrong? To turn back now?

Maybe, and I couldn't believe I was considering this, we should take some time off, at least until the rumors died down. My groin gave a squeezing jolt at the thought of stopping any possibility of Kakashi's ministrations, should we have a moment alone together again. I felt like I was going to throw up.

What if some of the attraction of our relationship was how it was forbidden? I, the untouchable fruit that needs to be tasted; him, an original sin, the older man.

No matter what I did, this train of thought wouldn't leave me. I could feel the self-doubt creeping in and this time, I don't think it was going to leave. I should be ending this relationship; should be, being the key words. But, he had told me he loved me. And I don't think he did that with a whole bunch of people.

But more professors were getting involved. Careers were at stake.

It took me a few minutes to realize I was just standing out in the open alone, looking like a crazy person. I headed back to the table, as if in a daze and plopped myself down again. Naruto was walking back across the quad, scarfing down a bowl of ramen and looking contented.

Hinata was trying to tell me something; I could see her lips moving but I couldn't hear anything else over the pounding of my pulse in my ears.

Would Naruto have gone that far? I mean, he might if he thought it was right and for my own good. A white-hot anger boiled in my chest; I couldn't even see straight as he sat down to speak to Hinata.

Who could I trust?

I collected my things, leaving without a warning. Naruto might have tried to call after me, but I wasn't listening to him. Blood continued to pound in my ears, in time with my feet as I stomped off. The longer I stayed, the more difficult it would be not to maim Naruto, whether he was innocent or not.

XX

I didn't go to Kakashi's office at all between classes. He texted me once, but I ignored it during class. I knew, if I looked at the message, I would want to skip class and speak to him. No, more than speak to him, I would want to mend things up as soon as possible so that we could get back on track physically.

In my night class, I tried to pay attention but my mind was far away in another land. I mostly felt sick and miserable, trying to sort everything out in my brain. The semester was almost half over. I wouldn't be his student much longer and then things would be okay to be in the open.

After class, I kept my head down and practically ran for the bus stop. I didn't know if he would try to speak to me or even hunt me down next. Or maybe, he hadn't picked up on my ignoring him. Maybe, he just assumed I was busy and was texting to be sure everything was alright. I am a college student after all, with a full workload of classes.

As I arrived at the stop in front of the campus, I had to admit I was a little disappointed that he hadn't come to track me down. Once again, maybe he didn't think anything was wrong. Oh god, how could he? He had no idea! All this was going on in my own brain. On the ride home, that disappointment festered inside me. But I was determined not to cry.

I wasn't a little girl anymore who needed to run home and cry into her mother's apron. Those thoughts, along with others, didn't stop the tears that welled up right at the edges of my eyes, threatening to break and spill down my cheeks.

The worst was when I actually made it in the door, where both of my parents were sitting at the table eating dinner and laughing.

I had lied to them. And they had no idea. Would have no idea if I kept up my resolve.

More disappointment lanced through me, sharp as a sword.

I set my things down and headed as quickly as possible for my bedroom.

Once in my room, the tears wouldn't stop. I was practically blind, stumbling to my bed to try and release the pressure in my chest. I felt like I was being smothered, by my own emotions no less.

"Sakura, honey?"

My mother had seen. I thought she might have done. Mothers, they don't miss much when it comes to children being upset.

"Y-yes?"

"Might I come in?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door anyway and came to sit by me on the bed. I could just make out her faint outline in the darkness of my room.

"What's the matter?"

She reached out a hand, placing it on my forehead, brushing my hair back. Her hand was cool and smooth, just like when I was a child with a fever.

"N-nothing," I choked.

"Honey, no one really cries over nothing. Come now, tell me what is the matter."

How much could I tell her? I calculated, knowing that I would feel much better once I spilled some of my secret.

"It was a guy," I told her. "I thought we might have something, but I don't think…I don't think it's going to work out."

One of the reasons I love my mother so much is that she doesn't pry sometimes. All she did was make noise, grab me, and hold me close, just like when I was little. I burrowed into her embrace and just let myself cry.

What must have been minutes later, though it felt like hours, my father came to the doorway and knocked. I guess when he heard the tears, he bowed out for a little while. My father, while a great man, was no good when it came to the women in his life crying.

"How about a pint of ice cream and a chick flick?" my mother suggested, once I had started to dry my eyes.

I nodded, still feeling small. I had gone chasing after too many rabbits again, too many small ends and it was wearing on me. I should have just been focusing on getting through my first semester instead of going guy-crazy like Ino.

Which reminded me that I had also gotten another message from her which had been ignored.

No, I was going to commit 100% to ignoring Kakashi.

But even as I made that vow, deep down I knew I would never be able to keep it. This was a moment of weakness, that was all. A good therapeutic cry.

I followed my mother into the kitchen, where my father was putting away dinner.

"I'm taking Sakura out for a pint and a flick. You will just have to watch your programming in the bedroom when we get back. It's a girls night."

"A pint? But she's too young and you don't need to be drinking," Father protested, his eyebrows shooting right up to his hairline. Even as upset as I was, I couldn't help but chuckle at them. Once again, my mother hadn't been thinking about how her phrasing sounded, instead just focusing on getting the message from A to B as fast as possible.

"No, no, no, a pint of ice cream. Some horrible boy has just broken her heart and she needs some girl time," my mother corrected, slapping him lightly on the arm.

Not staying to hear the rest of their brief argument, I went to retrieve my purse.

In another moment of temporary weakness, I decided to check my phone.

There were a bunch of lies I told myself, as I unlocked the device and found a bunch of communications waiting for me. But they're not important.

Ino: Positive. It came back positive. Call me asap!

Hinata: Are you okay Sakura? You left in a big hurry. If it was Naruto, I've already chastised him.

Naruto: I had to do what I thought was right. You'll thank me one day.

Kakashi: Sakura-

I was terrified of reading the rest of his message. What if it contained all of my worst fears?

"Sakura!" my mother was calling.

"Ready!" I shoved the phone deep in my purse. I wouldn't read his message. I would be mature and answer everyone else's messages first. Even Ino's, though her news might be nine months long.

I would not, under any conditions, read Kakashi's. Not until I was good and ready.

"Where were you?" she asked as we left the house. It was nice, going somewhere on a school night, just mother and me. It had been a long time. I realized that I missed spending time at home with my parents, with my mother.

"Just grabbing my purse." I hopped in the passenger side as she made ready to drive off.

"Well, sometimes things just don't work out. You know, I dated lots of men before I met your father. I thought all of them were going to work out. I don't know what life would be like if they had worked out, some of them. Oh my goodness! There was this one guy-"

I have to admit that I tuned her out somewhat. The last thing I wanted to know about right now was my mother's explorations in love and loss. Because that thought invariably led me down another road, about my conception, and then that led to me being sick usually.

My fingers itched to look at my phone again. I just wanted to see what he had typed when I didn't show up as planned.

Why hadn't he chased me though?

Because he probably didn't even realize anything was wrong you crazy person, Inner Sakura was quick to point out.

That was a good point. I couldn't argue with her. I wanted to.

Well, anything could have happened to me, I argued back.

But it didn't. You were being a little childish, running off and not speaking to him about your problems, like mature adults.

Oh, like you would know! We share the same brain! And why are you even back right now? I had gotten rid of you!

Okay, this seemed to be a new level of insanity. Having a mental argument about myself with myself.

But, you could have spoken to him about it. That would have been the grown-up thing to do. That is, if he realized anything was even really wrong. And, I came back because you really needed me.

To prey on me.

To help you. You can get rid of me anytime you choose.

Good, then go.

Fine, I will.

I had to check that text message.

Glancing at my mother, she was still rambling.

Carefully, I pulled my phone to the top of my bag and checked messages again.

Sakura – hope everything is okay. Missed you this afternoon. Love you.

My heart warmed slightly. Take that Inner Sakura!

Older men, Inner Sakura and I sighed together.

"Is that boy still bothering you?" my mother asked.

"No, just messages from friends. Maybe it will work out after all."

"Sakura, you know you can come talk to me about anything. And I do mean anything," my mother said seriously. "I understand that you're a little more grown up now, but you'll always be my little girl. My little cherry blossom. Is there anything you want to tell me that you don't want your father finding out?"

It was the second time that day someone had been asking me that similar question.

You would feel better if you just told her the truth, Inner Sakura said.

Back again?

I wouldn't miss this.

"Well, hypothetically?" I asked.

"Hypothetically."

"What if hypothetically, this guy was older than me? Like by a decade?"

"An older man, hn? Well, your father is about twelve years older than me."

I don't know why that suddenly surprised me. I knew my parents ages, their birthdays. But I guess I had never thought about it. Maybe that was why dad acted so differently from mom.

"Okay. Well, what if this person were in a place of power? Almost like a supervisor?"

A sudden laugh burst from my mother. "Sakura, do you have a crush on one of your professors?"

I blushed to the roots of my hair. It was more than a crush; more like a relationship.

"Oh Sakura!" I thought she was going to kill us she was laughing so hard. Then, she began singing a few lines of some of Van Halen's song about being "hot for teacher." I was so mortified, I slunk down in my seat as far as possible.

When we reached the convenient store, she had calmed down somewhat.

"In all seriousness honey, is it just a little crush? Because there is nothing wrong with that."

I shrugged, which wasn't lying but it wasn't telling the whole truth either.

"But Sakura, if he is a professor who you currently have, and more than a crush is involved, there are some serious consequences for that kind of thing."

There must have been this terrible look on my face, because she tipped my chin.

"I know the heart wants who the heart wants, but I would hate to see you go down a path that might ruin your future before you even have a chance, okay? At least look at guys your own age?"

I nodded, unsure of if she had just made things a lot better or a lot worse.

She patted my arm and went inside to get the ice cream. I hadn't even noticed, but it had started to drizzle outside. Perfect, to go with my bad mood.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I looked at the message.

Sasuke: Hey, I apologize for the gibberish from my phone everyone.

So, a canned message. Feeling bold since he wasn't the object of my affection, I typed back a quick reply.

Me: It's okay. Glad to hear from you, even if it was gibberish. How have you been?

I waited a few minutes, but there was no reply. Typical. A little pang of disappointment made its way through me, but it wasn't as soul crushingly devastating as it would have been before Kakashi.

"Ready?"

I jumped, as I hadn't heard my mother return.

"Yeah, chick flicks ahoy!"

As she drove me around town, I realized that deep down I'm still her little girl. It was nice to take all the pressure of being a single adult off for the night and let someone else handle that.

We rented older movies, like 10 Things I Hate About You and Never Been Kissed. Mom even let me rent Ever After, which had been one of my first more grown up movies. I remembered watching it with Ino when we were young, maybe nine or ten.

At home, dad watched the first movie with us as we huddled up on the couch and then he went to bed.

"Take a day off," he said, before retiring for the night. "A mental day."

"That's a great idea. I think you're too stressed out honey. Take a 'you' day, get your hair fixed, work out, something."

Maybe I did need a little vacation. I couldn't think of too much I would miss not being there for one day.

I stayed up watching movies and eating chocolate ice cream with bits of cherry and chunks of chocolate in it. Between movies, I texted Hinata.

Me: Yeah, it was some Naruto's fault. But I think I need just a day off, to get my head around things. I'm going to stay home tomorrow and go to the salon, maybe a pedi, something to relax.

Hinata: Good. Are you feeling better?

Me: Yeah, movie and ice cream night with mom. Feeling a little better. Long story. You up for skipping with me? Let Naruto deal with school on his own?

Hinata: Yeah. He really embarrassed me today too. Let him get all the work. ;)

We agreed to meet at our favorite salon, run by this really trendy woman named Anko.

Sitting in the dark, finishing up Ever After alone, I debated on what to do about Kakashi. It would be his class I missed tomorrow. No tears over Orochimaru's.

I debated on calling him.

Me: Kakashi, are you still awake?

As I sat, watching the drama between Drew Barrymore and her sisters, I almost didn't expect a reply. I nearly dropped my phone when it buzzed.

Kakashi: Yeah.

Me: Can I call?

Kakashi: Sure.

Trembling, I dialed his number and held the phone up to my ear. I had the sudden urge to cry, but squashed it down. He didn't even know anything was wrong.

"Hello?"

Relief flooded through me to hear that familiar smooth voice.

"Kakashi?" I asked, even though I knew it was him.

"Sakura. Are you alright?"

"No, not really." Outside, I could still hear the rain pounding away on the house, foliage, and sidewalk.

"What's wrong?"

I bit my lip, debating on telling him the whole story from the afternoon. That was my problem to deal with, not his. They came after me, at Naruto's request I supposed.

"Sakura?" he prompted gently, being sure I was still on the phone.

I took a deep breath and spilled. I told him everything, right now to the bitter tears of self-doubt this afternoon.

"Hey, it's alright Sakura. I didn't realize anything was even wrong. I thought you might have been busy. You should have come and talk to me." Exactly what I had thought. Duh Sakura.

"Yeah, I know. Things piled up on me. Is it okay if I take a mental day tomorrow?"

"If that's what you need to do, I have no problem with it. You won't miss anything you couldn't make up."

I felt my cheeks heat.

"Okay, good. I am sorry I didn't come and see you this afternoon."

"No worries Sakura. I just thought you were probably busy."

"Would you, well, that is to say, maybe we should limit the time we spend together at school, before Naruto goes further. Just until some of this blows over. I don't want anyone else coming for me."

"Well, I suppose that would be a good idea. I'll limit your assisting hours and we'll hang out in public places at the campus. But, are you still up for weekends?"

"Yes, maybe not every weekend, but yes. Just until this blows over." The tightness that had gripped my chest earlier was slowly starting to unfurl.

"Okay, good. I have a lot of fun things planned, like museums and parks, organizing paperwork, cleaning the lawn, and so forth."

I groaned but laughed.

"Maybe not the lawn part, but museums and parks. Maybe some paperwork."

"Kakashi, you are incorrigible!" But I was laughing and feeling more like my normal self. Inner Sakura had shut up finally.

We chatted for a few more minutes and hung up with loose plans for this weekend.

I settled back into my movie, where things are starting to work out for the prince and his love. Maybe things would work out for us too.

XX

Author's End Note: More to come soon.