It's actually fitting, though not planned out, that this story should be published in the middle of Autism Awareness Month, which takes place in April where I'm from. As mentioned I think in Episode 3, Gary the X-Naut is autistic.

In other news, this episode is actually inspired by an episode of the Care Bears from the Nelvana series. I probably should have mentioned this before, but I'll do just about anything to work in a Care Bear or Disney World reference… You're gonna have to trust me on this one, K? Super. Okay, let's go!

EPISODE 5-1

"Yeah, so, I'd like to thank you all for coming to our new-minion orientation," said Nastasia. "I'd also like to thank Mr. L for coming into the office on such short notice."

"Not a problem," said Mr. L from his usual perch in the meeting room.

Count Bleck looked over his minions from his post in their meeting room. O'Chunks, Mimi, and Dimentio were also standing at attention in their respective spots, looking up at him uneasily. Nastasia was by his side, as was Tippi and the Beige Prognosticus. The only difference between this meeting an all the others were the two X-Nauts, sharing a stand behind O'Chunks and Dimentio, a little higher than one and a little lower than the other. That was difference enough to unsettle them, in a place where everything was usually the same.

Sherwood and Gary had arrived the afternoon before and Nastasia had introduced them to the castle and talked with them about what their job would be. Now they were meeting the other minions and getting their first assignment with them.

"As you all know," said Count Bleck importantly, "we have two new minions among our ranks, starting today. Sherwood and Gary come from the X-Naut army, which has been waning as a force since the episode with the Thousand-Year Door. Why don't you introduce yourselves to us? Sherwood, have you anything to say?"

"Uh, yeah," said Sherwood. "Hi. I've been an X-Naut for… um, a really long time, and I'm looking forward to a change. Um, you know, I wanna do stuff again. My group was moved to a station near Fahr Outpost right after Grodus fell, and we've been just… kind hanging around ever since…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Um, I guess that's it."

"What about the other one?" asked Dimentio?

"This is Gary," said Sherwood. "Gary is autistic. He doesn't really talk, but he does communicate and he loves to work."

Gary looked down at his feet quickly.

"He knows we're talking about him," said Sherwood. "Gary doesn't like changes, so you're going to have to bear with him."

"So, what, is he retarded or something?" Mimi asked skeptically.

"Uh, no," Sherwood said defensively. "Chances are he's smarter than you are, missy."

"That's not really saying much about Gary," Dimentio said with a chuckle.

"Count Bleeeeeck!" Mimi whined. "Dimentio's making fun of me!'

Count Bleck held out his arms. "Everybody quiet down!" he shouted. When Count Bleck shouted, he didn't really shout in the normal sense of the term. He raised his voice so loud it rattled the floor, and it seemed to suck every other noise out of the room. When Count Bleck shouted, you shut up, end of story.

Gary clapped his hands over his ears and started making a strange whining noise. Sherwood adjusted his goggles.

"Uh, wow," said Sherwood. "That, um, that was some yell." He turned to Mimi. "Hey, uh, Ms. Green? Uh, I'm sorry I was rude to you."

"Dimentio, do you have something to say as well?" asked Count Bleck.

"Yes." Dimentio hung his head in mock shame. "I'm sorry I took advantage of such an easy opening. That sort of thing is supposed to be beneath me."

"That's about as good an apology as I'll get out of Dimentio," said Mimi, in answer to the surprised look on Sherwood's face.

Gary looked up again. Although he was still making that strange noise, he didn't seem to be too agitated anymore.

"Can't you make him stop?" Mr. L asked. "That's kind of annoying."

"It's how he expresses stress," said Sherwood. "He can't help it."

"Ah, leave 'im alone," O'Chunks said, waving his hand. "'E's not odder'n the rest o' us. That's what makes us such puddin' pals, that we ain't exactly right for where we came from."

"Thank you, O'Chunks," said Count Bleck. "That was lovely. Now, since this is Sherwood and Gary's first day, I'd like to spend it getting them acquainted with our… particular style of…" He cleared his throat. "Nastasia, what's the best way to say this?"

"The Count wants you to get better at working with each other," said Nastasia. "So, um, we're going to spend today in 'Basic Training.' All of you… K?"

The four regulars groaned.

"Aw, c'mon, Count," whined Mimi. "I hate that stuff!"

"Yeh can't just squash me back down to the bottom!" said O'Chunks.

"It's quite an unpleasant affair, overall," said Dimentio.

"I don't know what they're talking about, but I don't like the sound of it," Mr. L added at the end.

Count Bleck held out his arms. "Now, look!" he said sternly. "You're all badly in need of shaping up, and the X-Nauts here are badly in need of orientation. Instead of killing two birds with one stone, would you rather sit in the meeting room and complain all day? Or, as a third option, would you rather Nastasia brainwash you into thinking you're a competent group of minions?"

That shut them up quickly.

"Thank you," said Count Bleck. "Nastasia, take them to the training room."

"We had it converted into a recreation room two weeks ago," said Nastasia.

"Well, then, push the pool table into a corner and use it as the training room," said Count Bleck. "Sherwood, Gary, follow the rest of them and see if you can't get used to the castle layout on the way. I don't expect you to master it right away, but it would do you well to be able to find your way around as soon as possible. Is that understood, X-Nauts?"

"Gotchya, dude," said Sherwood. "Uh, I mean, Count Dude. I mean, Count Bleck, dude. I mean—."

"Close enough."

Castle Bleck, having an entire dimension to itself, was spacious and roomy. The "training room" had more floor space than a high school gymnasium, and a roof high enough that a rope climb to the ceiling would be a nightmare manifested into reality. Nastasia pulled some old training equipment from the storage room to the training room, including workout staples such as weights, bars, beams, and a sack of rubber balls.

The six minions stood in a line against the wall. Nastasia put on a silver whistle and stood in front of them. She held one of the red rubber playground balls in her hand.

"K, so, the Count says you're not performing at peak efficiency lately, and he wants you go through our basic training again with the new ones. Yeah, and we're not leaving this room until you've been whipped into shape to make the Count proud… K?"

Sherwood raised his hand. "Question!" he called out.

"Yeah?" Nastasia said.

"Is this going to be physically strenuous?" he asked? "I'm not really good at… moving. I mean, I'm in shape, you have to be if you're an X-Naut, but I'm actually not so good at—"

"There's a lot of moving in this organization," said Nastasia. "If you can't handle that, then it's best to bow out now. K?"

"Okay," said Sherwood. "We're good. Right Gary? … Yeah, we're good."

"Right," said Nastasia. "First I want you all to warm up. Take fifteen laps around the room, jogging, and then come back and line up here."

Mimi pointed at Dimentio, who was hanging in the air. "Is he gonna get to float around like he usually does?"

"No," said Nastasia. "Hey, Dimentio. Yeah, so, I'm gonna have to ask you to get down on the floor and use your legs for this exercise."

Mimi stuck out her tongue at Dimentio, and he gratefully returned the gesture. However, he had to obey, so he settled down on the ground and all seven of them took off at a brisk but reasonable pace around the room.

Fifteen laps later, it was way past warm-up. If you've ever been made to jog fifteen laps around the high school gymnasium, you might know how brutal it is to do when you're out of shape. Even O'Chunks, who spent a lot of time practicing his fighting, didn't have as much endurance as he had strength. By the last lap, they were exhausted, panting, and ready to call it a day. Nastasia, however, kept her outward appearance professional and undaunted.

"All right," she said. "Keep moving. Stretch out those limbs, K? We're all warmed up now, so let's get started on our first exercise."

Gary flopped forwards onto the ground and covered his face with his eyes. Sherwood looked down at him and nudged him with his foot.

"Um, is he okay?" asked Nastasia tentatively.

"Yeah," said Sherwood. "He's over stimulated and doesn't know what to do. At the old base he knew to go outside to this special place, but we haven't figured something out here." Sherwood knelt down and picked Gary up. "Come on, buddy, get up. It's time to work out."

Gary pulled himself out of Sherwood's arms and hissed. Sherwood jumped back. "Okay! Okay!" He looked up at Nastasia. "Look, why don't we move to the other side of the room? Gary will come join us when he's ready."

Nastasia adjusted her glasses. "Yeah, see, about that," she said. "We really can't just drop him out and keep going. We need to stay together on this. If Gary can't do it, then he can't--"

"No, no, Gary's done this before," Sherwood said quickly. "He does it differently, but he—"

"Come on!" Mimi whined. "I'm tired and I want to finish! I don't want to stand around all day talking about the retarded guy!"

"Mimi!" Nastasia snapped. "That's enough. K?"

"Nevertheless, I am quite frustrated having to wait for this to be resolved," said Dimentio. "Perhaps we could come to an agreement quickly, so that I might be able to continue this dreadful exercise and get it over with."

"Yeah, what he said." O'Chunks pointed his thumb at Dimentio.

"Very well," said Nastasia. "We'll move to the other side of the room. Sherwood, you can join us when you're both ready."

"Uh… okay," said Sherwood. "I mean, I can come right now and—"

"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to stay to the side until you're both ready," said Nastasia. "K? Super." She blew on the whistle. "Okay, let's move it!"

Sherwood leaned against the wall and slid down into a sit. Gary backed himself so he was sitting next to Sherwood.

"Great," said Sherwood. "We're already in trouble and we haven't even finished warming up on our first day." He gave Gary a pained look. "Why can't you just for once not make things difficult?"

Gary hugged his feet to his body and looked down.

"I'm sorry," said Sherwood. "It's not your fault. I just thought that for once we'd get a… yeah, that was pretty unrealistic of me, seeing as how you're… you." He rubbed Gary on the head. Gary flinched. "We'll make it work. We're X-Nauts. We're pals, and we're gonna make it work."

Gary jumped up.

"Let's go over there and show them what X-Nauts can do!"

Although Sherwood isn't the name of the X-Naut form that hilarious "Sir Grodus, Dude" skit from TTYD, I saw an opening and couldn't resist recreating it.