Dreaming

I'm blowing this way out of proportion. I can't love him like that! It's impossible and can only end in heartache and a lost friendship.

Yet I can't stop picturing him wrapping his strong arms around me, pulling me closer, and kissing me so softly that my heart flutters right out of my chest.

Then when we're alone, we kiss and his soft lips travel from mine, to my jawline, and slides down my neck in a series of butterfly kisses.

Sensations are running wild through both of us, but then he stops because sex is special and intimate and serious, and we both want to wait before we make that very large leap.

We then lie down, my head is resting on his chest, our fingers intertwined together, his free hand running gently through my hair, and we talk for hours about nothing and everything because we're best friends and we're so comfortable around each other.

He listens intently until it's his turn to babble and my turn to listen. We share our hopes, dreams, fears, goals, and disappointments.

The we stop talking and a loving silence falls over us and we fall asleep in each other's arms, a smile on both our faces because we've found our soul mate.

WOW.

Did I just think all that about Harry? Me? About Harry? Have I gone completely insane? This is Harry I'm thinking about! Not the Boy-Who- Lived, or the Hero of all heroes, or the Protector of the World. Just Harry.

The Harry that laughs when Ron and I bicker, the Harry who's eyes shine when he sees everyone he loves, the Harry who chews his bottom lip when he's thinking and fidgits with his fingers when he's nervous. The Harry who listens to my problems, who knows instantly when something is wrong, then tries so hard to make you feel better. The one who's eyes get dark with concern and even darker with anger, though he rarely gets upset.

And finally, My Harry. My best friend, my confidante, my supporter, 

my believer, my love, and my whole world.

Yup, I'm definitely in love with him.

But how? Is it possible that I've loved him since forever and just never knew it? Or just never let myself believe it?

Oh, Merlin. What in the world am I going to do now? I can't just keep it in! I'll surely explode! But I can't very well tell him! What will he think?

Just perfect, Hermione dear, you've just put yourself into a very lovely position. What -

"Hermione?"

Ah, and it's the problem to all my problems. If my heart doesn't stop beating so fast, I'm afraid I'll get a heart attack.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Are you okay? Dinner's ready. Ron and I have been calling you for the past five minutes! What's the matter?"

I see him standing there, I see his lips moving, and I see his eyes glowing with so much concern a lump forms in my throat. And though I see him, my mind fails me and all I can picture is my fantasy dream from earlier. If I don't answer him soon he'll definitely think there's something wrong with me.

Maybe there is.

"N-nothing's wrong. I'm- I'm fine, Harry. Just lost in thoughts," I finally answer, then get up from my window seat . "Come on. You know how impatient Ron is when it comes to his food!" I hear Harry's laughter behind me and my heart is suddenly leaping with happiness.

Merlin, I love his laugh.

"Finally! If it weren't for magic the food would be cold! What were you doing up there anyway?" Ron asks me as soon as I come into sight.

I roll my eyes at him without answering and sit down at our kitchen table in my usual seat, aware that Harry and Ron are passing a worried glance to each other. "I'm fine, guys! I just have a lot on my mind."

This seems to satisfy Ron, who sits down and digs into his plate. But Harry is still not convinced. He's looking at me with that look that says, "I know something's wrong but I won't pester you. You'll tell me when you're ready."

That's something else to add to my "Why I Love Harry" list. He cares about you yet he respects your privacy.

Nope, I'm not falling in love with my best friend.

I've already fallen and I can't get up.

Five hours, picked at my dinner, played exploding snap with Ron and Harry, all the while lost in my dreams, later, I'm back in my room thinking none other than good ol' Harry.

Damn it! Why can't I get him out of my head! Morning till night, all I do is think of him and I'm afraid my brain is frying away inside my head because of all this dreaming.

Where is the sixteen-year-old, logical, serious, smart know-it-all, no nonsense, Hermione? She's evolved into the twenty-two-year-old, hesitant, insecure, know-it-all, dreamer, Hermione.

When did I change so drastically? And how come it happened without my permission? I would like to be informed whenever I change, thank you very much!

I sigh and lay back down on my bed. My eyes close and I envision my fantasy all over again. If only I could tell him. I wasn't about to tell him during dinner with Ron throwing knowing glances (Merlin know's about what) my way. And a game or two of exploding snap is just too much fun to spoil it with telling your best friend you love him. I wouldn't exactly want my best friend to announce that our twelve year relationship is suddenly going to change forever!

What am I going to do? I have to tell him! Wait, did I just hear a knock on my bedroom door? Yup, there it is again. If it's Ron playing one of his practical jokes again, I'm going to kill -

"Harry!" well, it's certainly not Ron. Nope. The person dressed only in yellow smiley boxers (which I bought for him, by the way), showing me his six pack of a chest and arms that could twist a person in half, is definitely not Ron. Should I mention that he doesn't have chicken legs?

Look, now I'm getting all flushed and bothered when I've seen Harry like this a quatrillion of times! You're ridiculous, Hermione!

"I'm sorry, 'Mione. Did I wake you? I know it's late but ... " he looks so cute standing there like a little boy staring at his feet!

"Nonsense. I wasn't sleeping, just thinking. Come in," I leave him at the door and return to my bed, looking and acting so calm that I wish my heart would follow along.

Harry shuts the door behind him and gives me that smile that could melt Antartica. "Thinking again? Well, that's my 'Mione for you," he says, emerald orbs shining.

Is it possible for you to stay alive when your heart stops beating? He just called me his 'Mione! I'm going to resist the urge to squeal like an overactive school girl. "That's me: The Thinker. So what's wrong? Couldn't sleep either?"

"No. I keep thinking about ... "

If he tells me he's thinking about a girl I might do something I'll regret.

" ... this girl."

I might be able to stop myself from hurting him but I can't stop my heart from plummeting a hundred feet down my chest. "Oh, a girl. Hmm. And who is this girl?" calm, Hermione. Remain calm.

"Well, you actually know her quite well. She's the most beautiful creature on this planet. I think even Aphrodite would be jealous of her."

Why is that look that's gleaming in his eyes hurting me like a thousand daggers thrown straight into my heart? "Hmm," is all I can manage through the lump in my throat.

"Yeah. Her eyes are amazing. They're like dark pools of chocolate and I drown in them whenever I look at her."

I have brown eyes, aren't mine good enough?

"I love her hair. It's long, soft curls that glow around her face and she smells like Heaven. Her lips look so soft and inviting ..."

Stop, stop, stop! For Merlin's sake, Harry! Do you know what you're doing to me? No, I am not going to cry. Tears stay back.

"But I don't love her because of her looks. No, I love her because she's the smartest witch I know. Not only is she incredibly intellectual but she has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen in a person. She's so caring, compassionate, and loyal. It never ceases to amaze me at how loyal she is to her friends. Even in school, when her best friends would plan out dangerous andventures, she would come along just to make sure nothing happened to them. Not to mention how brave she is. It didn't matter that they could lose all the house points, or worse, get expelled ... "

Do I know this person? If I do, I'd really like to hurt her right about now.

"She's always there when I need to talk to someone. She pushes back her own fears and problems for me and I love her more and more for that."

Say something, you incomprehensible twit! I swallow thickly and blink rapidly. Stupid tears. "D-does she, um, does she know?" I ask, pathetically.

"No, I haven't told her. I'm afraid that if she doesn't feel the same then our friendship will be ruined forever."

There's that insecure eleven-year-old I used to know. Too bad things aren't as simple now as they were then.

"You should tell her. By the way you said she acts, it seems to me that she loves you too. Tell her," oh my goodness. Did I just say that? I practically shoved Harry into this perfect girl's arms. Well, I have to admit, she does sound pretty wonderful, and if Harry loves her, she probably is wonderful. Ugh! Why do I have to be me? Why can't I be the girl of Harry's dreams?

"You really think so?" Harry asks then sighs. "You're right, like always. I have to tell her."

All I can do is nod. Oh no, one tear is threatening to fall. No, no, no!

"When?" I ask. I might as well know when my world is going to end.

Harry smiles at me. "Now."

"Now? It's almost midnight!" I almost shout. I bite my bottom lip then lay down on my bed. Harry's smiling face hovers over mine and I have to look up so no tears can fall.

"It's late but she's up," he tells me.

I almost snort. Like I care if she's up or not. "So go tell her," I try to control the coldness in my voice but it's penetrating through my body.

Harry just nods but doesn't make an attempt to move. Why does he have to torture me so?

"Thanks for the advice."

Still not moving.

"Hermione?"

"Yes, Harry?" stop being such a spoiled brat! He only came to you for advice like a friend would do. But that's the problem: Only and always as just a friend.

"I love you, 'Mione."

"Uh-huh. Well, good lu -" what? Did he just say what I think he said? Just as a friend, surely. "Wh-what?"

"I love you. All those things I said are about you. It's always been about you. Why do you think my other relationships never worked out? I compared all the girls I dated with you and they never came close to measuring up to you. Everything I said is true. I've loved you forever and will always love you forever. Please say you feel the same," he finishes all in one breath.

Oh Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. If this is a dream and I wake up alone, there's going to be hell to pay.

"Hermione?"

"I-I-I ... But how ... When ... I-I-I," I stammer, or blubber is more like it, feeling complete shock. I don't think his words had sunk in yet. So much for being smart.

"Hermione. 'Mione? Hello?" Harry is looking at me with hesitant and worried eyes.

I have to say something! "Are you sure?" oh, perfect, Hermione! Wonderful. Really, I should win the best charmer award. I think I would win, don't you?

He just smiles at me. "I am five hundred percent sure. You've captured my heart and I hope you don't ever let it go."

Wow, did he just say that? I didn't know our little Potter was poetic.

Now I'm smiling and my heart is ... forget leaping ... dancing. I jump off the bed and fly into his arms, knocking him off the bed. Now we're falling, oops, sorry, now we've fallen, and I couldn't be happier. I knew Humpty Dumpty was lonely sitting there in peices all alone. If you're going to fall you might as well fall with someone you love.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" I cry, still sprawled on top of him on the floor.

Laughing, he gently pushes me off, then helps me up. And as if in a dream, I see my fantasy unfolding right in front of my eyes.

Harry wraps his arms around me, pulls me closer, and kisses me so softly, my heart forgets to flutter because fireworks are exploding inside of me and everything is so bright that I'm afraid I might go blind.

We then fall backwards onto my bed and he's kissing me, then my jawline, and the next thing I know he's planting butterfly kisses along my neck. Oh my, I'm tingling all over.

He stops because sex is special and intimate and serious, and we both want to wait before we make that very large leap. Though I don't think we'll wait very long.

Now we're laying next to each other, with my head on his chest, our fingers intertwined together, and his free hand running gently through my hair, and we're talking for hours about nothing and everything because we're best friends and we're so comfortable around each other. I don't think I've ever felt so warm before in my life. Fire's got nothing on us.

He's listening intently until he's the one babbling and I'm the one listening. We're sharing our hopes, dreams, and goals. Forget disappointments. In fact, what disappointments? The word has completely fled my mind.

We stop talking and loving silence falls over us and we fall asleep in each other's arms, a smile on both our faces because we've found our soul mate. And girls, if you try to take him away, I suggest you shave off your hair and take off your acrylic nails 'cause here comes a very mad Hermione Granger.