So this is a bit of fun that i've been working on under my desk in physics class for a while and I hope you like it. I know this chapter is pretty long but there was alot I wanted too get in. The first chapter is just setting the scene but I hope theres still a few things in there that'll make you smile!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all these lovely characters. I'm just a little kid playing in her sandbox! :)

BPOV

I couldn't believe I was going along with this. I sat on my bag by the door, waiting for Alice to collect me for our "Special Spring Break Sleepover Extravaganza". Charlie, who had allowed the whole thing, grinned at me smugly from the sofa. I bit back some of the less than daughterly words that came to mind and contented myself with glaring at him, turning on my full power death rays. But it wasn't the idea of one of Alice's sleepovers that bothered me, horrifying as they were. No, the thing that had me quaking in my Converse was that she seemed to think I would need a passport for this.

A soft knock interrupted my bubbling hysteria and I swung open the door glaring down at Alice.

"Hey Ali-"

But it was not the pixie-like vampire that stood on my porch step and I found myself scowling at the crotch of Edward's jeans. OK, so that looked bad. I felt my face burn as I slowly raised my eyes to his face. I stood there in horror, too embarrassed to move. Edward was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised; a smirk was plastered across his face. He lifted a finger to his lips, indicating for me not to let Charlie know it wasn't Alice who stood before me. I attempted to throw him a withering look, angry at being kept out of the loop, but he only smiled wider. I stomped around, said goodbye to a smug Charlie and promptly tripped over my bag. Granite arms caught me. From the look on Edward's face I could tell that he wasn't going to let go of me until I smile. He grinned. Awww…crap, why did he have to be so freaking adorable! An unwilling smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Satisfied, Edward set me back on my feet and we drove to the Cullen's Mansion. I talked all the way and he refused to answer my questions.

"Tell me" I pleaded

"No"

"Come on Edward, I want to know"

"Nope"

"Go oooon"

"Nuh uh"

"Please?" I whispered sticking out my bottom lip and pouting slightly. This was my last resort and I knew that I wasn't playing fair. He groaned, closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN DON'T YOU DARE!"

We were still half a mile from the house but for such a small person Alice's voice carried. I was my turn to groan as we pulled up to the familiar house.

My jaw dropped at the sight of the Cullen's driveway. All the remaining vampires stood crowded round an ominous looking black heap, each kitted out head to toe in army fatigues. Behind them were two black Jeeps with tinted windows and ominous looking roll cage type things.

"I don't like the look of this" I whimpered.

"Relax love; it's just a bit of harmless fun"

I didn't believe that for one second and it wasn't long before I had proof.

"Harmless!?" I cried watching Emmett swing a grappling hook around Rosalie and yank her towards him. Apparently I had said this a little louder than intended as everyone swung to look at me. There was a moment of silence and I could feel the horror and shock plaster itself on my face, it must have been priceless because Jasper was the first one to start laughing, a loud booming laugh that I was convinced could have been heard from Forks. Of course the others couldn't help but join him and I scowled further, angry at being the funny little human girl again. However, this only caused more hysterics.

I clambered out of the car and stumbled (literally, no thanks to Edward who was using all his concentration up in not laughing) over to where the Cullens were holding onto each other in convulsions pointing at my still horrified face. Heaving a sigh I waited for them to stop giggling. Personally, I couldn't see what was so funny.

"What on earth is going on?" I said finally

On closer inspection I could see that the black mass that I had seen from the car was pile of bulging black rucksacks. Emmett slung one towards me with a grin, Edward caught it when I missed and handed it to me with an apologetic smile.

"Bella, my family and I decided that it was time that you joined us in indulging in one of our favorite nocturnal activities. Since Eddiekins over there insists in continuing his stalkerish tendencies 24/7" He shot a sulky look over my shoulder "We haven't had chance to play with a full team for a while."

I still didn't understand and I opened my mouth to ask but Carlisle beat me to it, answering my unspoken question.

"I'm sure you'll be familiar, Bella, with a human pastime called Hide and Seek"

A sudden image flashed to mind of the beautiful Rosalie sniggering while she sat under Carlisle's desk and I snorted. I was a master at hide and seek. Jasper looked confused and I immediately scolded myself for letting myself feel so confident, I tried to forget what we were playing and luckily I felt the mask of apprehension and worry seep back. Hide and seek was my game and I had been famed for it in my neighborhood as a little girl. One time I had hidden so well that a police search party eventually had to be called when I refused to come out.

"Alright listen up!" Alice yelled and I started. She had made us all line up and was now pacing in front of us like a drill sergeant. Jasper was almost glowing with pride.

"Bella put these on" I was handed a pile of clothes identical to the rest of the family. Feeling something suspiciously hard at the bottom of the pile, I rifled through them to investigate.

"Alice?" I could hear my voice wobble at my discovery, I definitely wasn't confident about this game anymore. Alice stopped her pacing and slipped out of character bounding over to me.

"Why haven't you put your clothes on? Awww come on, khaki is all over the runways this season, and you'll look cute!"

"It's not that. Alice why the hell would I need a bulletproof vest"

I heard a low guttural growl from Edward.

"Alice, are you insane?! I told you we can't use the guns this year! She's not invincible!"

"Yet" muttered Alice. I smiled slightly at that but instead rounded on Edward'

"You use guns?!"

Again it was Carlisle that answered me.

"Don't worry about us Bella we can't be killed that way. To us it's like…. It feels like a paintball gun would to you" He struggled to find a fitting analogy while I wobbled on the brink of hysteria. Unable to speak I turned to see Alice grumbling as she tugged something out of her backpack. I had seen enough action movies to recognize it as an AK47. I pinched myself. Damn, I had been sure this was another of my deluded dreams.

"That goes for all of you!" Edward growled looking murderous.

A grumbling Rosalie hitched up her pants and pulled a pistol out a holster a her thigh, pausing for a second she seemed to be assessing the situation before sighing a removing what looked like a grenade from down the front of her sweater. Emmett dragged something akin to a rocket launcher from the trunk of one of the black cars and added it to the growing pile. However Esme was the one that surprised me the most as she produced a pistol identical to Rosalie's from her sock. This was too weird. Apparently Edward, Carlisle and I were the only ones that had turned up unarmed.

Through the display I had felt Edwards arms tighten protectively around me until I was almost suffocating, I didn't dare look at his face. Alice wisely decided to move swiftly on.

"Earlier today I decided that we would draw teams out of a hat and so we don't need to bother because I saw the results. Team Dolce will be Edward, Esme, Emmett and I. Team Gabanna will be Bella, Carlisle, Rosalie and Jasper. No we cannot change the team names. House rules, for Bella's benefit, are as follows: Stay in the continental US only!" She shot a warning look at Emmett who was looking pointedly at his feet. "Emmett your restraining order on the Queen of England is still in place as is the same with the Spice Girls Jasper please try and stay away from them! Back to the rules: No use of extra abilities e.g. Mind reading" She scowled at that one "Each team is limited to a minimum spend of 100 000 each, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves" I snorted again " Emmett, no streaking. Rosalie, no using your…talents to get extra money. Edward, no whining and/or pining after Bella. Bella same goes for you in reverse. Jasper, please no nervous breakdowns there just isn't time. And yes I know, I have to stay on task and not go shopping. In your backpacks you should find a revised copy of the states in which we have been banned or are wanted for something or other. And last but not least, please keep Bella alive, life got rather depressing last time!" I just stood in shocked silence.

"First team to get to the other and tag each team member wins. If you get tagged everyone who you tagged is free." Edward explained quietly in my ear. "Don't worry you'll pick it up" He gave me a crooked smile and I nearly fell over. This was all too overwhelming and we hadn't even got going yet. I pressed myself to his chest in a parting hug and I sighed not wanting to let go.

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you" He whispered and I sprang apart from him, glaring at him through narrowed eyes.

"Did you just say you'll go easy on me?!" His topaz eyes widened in surprise when I poked him in the chest and almost broke my finger. "You picked the wrong mortal to mess with Edward Cullen. Just you wait! You…you…" I couldn't find a word bad enough so I turned a stormed off towards my team, my hidden confidence rushing back to me.

"Jasper!" I yelled "Let him feel how confident I am!" Jasper grinned looking thrilled and I heard a yelp from behind me. "Don't worry" I called back to Edward with a wink "I'll go easy on you!"

I watched Edward frozen on the spot; he opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by drill sergeant Alice.

"On my word Team Dolce will go to the west coast. Team Gabanna you will go to the East as soon as you get there you may start the game. READY! SET! RUN!"

So there you go! Hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it wasn't filled with kick ass vampire action that i'm hoping some of the rest of it will. Please R+R and i'm completely open to suggestions of any scenarios people would like to see. Just as a little taster the next chapter will be called "Emmett, Edward and the Wrath of the Tampons" But I'm only writing it if people review! See you in the next chap ;)

Update: A small word of warning, my little mind can't cope with things like time zones and vampire velocity. Also I'm from England and have unfortunately never had the chance to go to the US so I'm writing this story armed with only a map. Therefore, I'm really sorry but you guys are gonna have to use your amazing imaginations with this one in regards to daylight, time and general locations. I'm really sorry guys, I hope you don't mind but in the words of the infamous Bella, if had tried "One of these days I'm gonna spontaneously combust"

Thanks for all the reviews!