A/N: I know theres a book out there about Faith's past but I haven't read it so I'm pretty much making this up.
"She was, she was a drunk who fell into bed with a different loser each night, and one of those times she got pregnant, had a kid, and that kid was pretty much the bane of her existence, so she did everythin' in her power to pretend the kid wasn't there, or if the kid was lucky she would pay enough attention to it just to get in a few beatin's here or there, or if she was feelin' extra generous she would let one of her gentlemen callers get in a few rounds before they hit the sack together," Faith said.
She felt strange, like her mind was screaming at her, pleading with her not to share this information for fear of what would happen if she did. But her brain was still deliciously foggy from her evening on the town and the fog that had currently taken up residence in her head was stifling the screaming voice.
Buffy for her part was a little stunned, Faith had hinted in the past that her childhood was far from pleasant, but to actually hear her say it made it real and horrifying. She was about to say something but Faith hadn't finished so Buffy shut her mouth and let the other girl continue.
"Ya know she put me through all that shit and I hated her for it, but, the day she," Faith faltered a little, "the day I found her, I,I can still see her B, I can still see the way she was just starin' at me and I was yelling at her to get up and I was just so angry at her for leavin' me on my own again, I can remember just screaming at her how selfish she was over and over again, and that's when my Watcher came and got me, someone next door heard the yellin' and called the cops or somethin', I dunno the whole story but that's the last time I saw her," Faith finished.
Buffy swallowed the lump in her throat and looked in wonder at the younger girl,
"So you never got to say goodbye, to mourn her?" she asked.
"No need for that B, it's in the past now, besides if theres one thing my Ma taught me it's that we Lehanes don't cry, crying shows weakness and if ya show them your weakness B, well then you're pretty much screwed," Faith said turning to look at her with her signature lopsided grin on her face.
"Faith she was still your mother, no matter how horrible a person she was that has got to mean something to you, in fact I can tell it does, you have to mourn her Faith if you hope to move on from it," Buffy replied.
"I have moved on from it, I don't care so just drop it ok," Faith said angrily, shifting her position so that she was lying on her side facing away from Buffy.
Buffy sighed not sure how far she should push this, sure Faith had opened up a little but she could see the other girls defences coming up and she really didn't want Faith to shut her out again.
"Faith," Buffy started her hand hovering above the other girl's shoulders, wanting to touch and offer comfort but not sure how Faith would react, "it's ok to be sad about her, it's ok to be sad about her in front of me" she finished quietly placing her hand tentatively on the other girl's shoulders.
"NO," came the strangled half screamed, half sobbed reply as Faith wrenched herself out of Buffy's grasp and out of the bed standing, swaying slightly as she looked down at Buffy, her dark brown eyes wild.
"You don't get to decide that it's ok, you can't decide for me, yo-you can't just, decide for someone, you d-don't do that, you can't care," the last part was whispered so quietly that Buffy was almost sure she hadn't heard it.
Getting up slowly from the bed Buffy inched her way across the room to stand in front of her sister Slayer, who had a tight grip on the bedside table in order to stop herself from swaying. Faith was trying her hardest to look anywhere but at Buffy who was standing right in front of her. The hand that was not gripping the bedside table was clenched by her side, the knuckles white as she struggled to control the emotions running through her.
"Faith," Buffy whispered, cautiously placing her hand on the other girls shoulder, instantly feeling the way the muscles there tightened almost impossibly hard as Faith tried, almost reluctantly it seemed this time to remove Buffy's hand.
"Faith," Buffy tried again "Faith look at me," she continued this time reaching out and using her thumb to push the other Slayer's chin up so that their eyes met.
"Why can't I care?" she asked the younger girl seeing the flash of sorrow that flashed across her eyes. Faith tried to lower her head again, tried to withdraw herself more into the wall that stood behind her, but Buffy held strong.
"Faith, answer me, why can't I care?" Buffy asked, her heart breaking for the young girl who stood in front of her who under the effort of keeping her emotions reigned in had begun to tremble slightly.
Buffy jumped in alarm as she felt a lone tear splash onto her arm that was holding Faith's head up, so used to Faith's touch exterior she almost couldn't believe the other Slayer could feel such emotions. She was of course, learning so much about the other girl tonight.
"Because," the low and raspy voice of her counterpart replied.
"Because why?" Buffy prodded gently, using her hand to brush some strands of Faith's hair away from her face that had obscured her vision.
"Because if you care then it just hurts more when you leave," Faith's eyes widened in shock that she had actually allowed herself to reveal this and she tried again to remove herself from Buffy's grasp, her breathing quickening as she tried futilely to escape.
Buffy's heart broke for the girl in front of her, the girl who was forced to grow up much earlier then even she herself had, the girl who desperately wanted to feel the love, warmth and acceptance of another human being but through no fault of her own had learnt to expect the worst from people which caused her to be afraid of wanting and even accepting her greatest desire.
Only barely restraining herself from pulling the other girl completely into her arms Buffy once again used her thumb to hold the other Slayer's gaze.
"Faith, I-I know I've made mistakes in the past, and I-I know that last time you were here I wasn't exactly the bestest of friends, but I realise now how much I let you down, and I'm sorry, do, do you think you could forgive me, because I forgave you for everything a long time ago" Buffy asked her voice full of emotion.
Faith tensed then, even more then Buffy thought was even possible her eyes coming to rest of the hazel ones opposite her. Buffy saw so much conflict in those eyes, hurt, confusion, anger, and so much sadness. Then in front of her, it all came crashing down, literally. Faith's legs gave way and she sunk down to the ground, bringing a still surprised Buffy with her.
"B," Faith gasped tears now rolling continuously down her face, her hands once again clenched into fists at her sides, "you-you can't forgive me, please don't, please you c-can't," her eyes pleading with Buffy.
"I already did Faith, I didn't realise it until tonight, but I forgave you a long time ago it was just myself that I hadn't forgiven but if you forgive me then I think, I think we can work on going back to how we used to be. Do you think, can you do that?" Buffy asked her own eye's giving Faith a pleading look.
At these words Faith's resolve crumpled completely and sobs began to wrack her body. Buffy watched as she tried to form words, and fought as Buffy tried to gather her in her arms.
She eventually succeeded and bought a still sobbing Faith to her chest, wrapping strong arms around her and whispering soothing nothingness into the other girl's ear. Faith for her part struggled at first but eventually seemed to run out of strength and buried her face into Buffy's neck, wrapping her own arms around the older Slayer.
Buffy was almost relieved that Faith had broken the way that she had. It gave her hope for their friendship in the future. If Faith allowed her to see her in this condition then perhaps some of the walls that had been put up could be removed and they could begin to repair what had been damaged.
Rubbing her arms soothingly down the other Slayer's back Buffy could feel the other girl struggling to get her breathing under control as her tears subsided. Shifting slightly so that her back rested against the wall, Buffy continued with to comfort her dark counterpart as she felt her eventually relaxing against her.
"I'm scared," came Faith's muffled voice as she still had her head buried in Buffy's neck.
"Is that why you went out tonight?" Buffy asked her softly, almost smiling as she felt the other Slayer nod against her.
"I'm scared too," she said truthfully. It would be stupid of them not to be, they were facing the biggest evil ever known to man.
"But it's ok to be scared," she said moving to stroke Faith's dark curly hair gently.
"Not where I come from," came the breathy reply.
"Well you're where I come from now, and where I come from it's ok, and it's ok to let people in once in awhile, so next time you can come to me instead of Mr. Daniels and we can talk it through, the Chosen Two right," Buffy said.
"Yeah, the Chosen Two," Faith replied, snuggling deeper into Buffy. Giving one last sigh and letting the effects of her early drinking and the obvious emotional exhaustion take its toll, Buffy felt Faith completely relax into her as her breathing became deeper. She smiled as Faith unconsciously moved so that her hand was wrapped tight around the hem of Buffy's shirt, acting like a safety measure that Buffy was still there.
Dropping a kiss to the other's girl head, Buffy let her own drop back and rest against the wall a smile gracing her lips as she too felt the events of the day take their toll on her. As her eyes closed and she felt herself drifting off she smiled at the thought that even though she had no idea what the days coming would hold, she somehow had this feeling that everything would turn out alright.
THE END
A/N: Thanks for reading guys I know it took me awhile but that's the end. Hope you all liked it, I know it wasn't heaps plot wise it was just meant for some Buffy/Faith friendship.