A Key To Nothing
by Juul
WARNING: This does NOT end well...
Chapter Eighteen: The End of All Things To Come
January 10, 2006
HEADLINE STORY: Yesterday, a freak accident featuring a pile-up of a total of thirteen cars, including one semi-tractor-trailer and Greyhound Bus 180, occurred in the intersection by the local Art and Music College and Starbucks. The cause of the crash is yet to be determined, but it is speculated to be caused by the semi's driver hitting a sheet of black ice while going down the hill towards the intersection. The driver, who remains anonymous to the general public at the time, is to go on trial for vehicular manslaughter charges, for abandoning his vehicle without trying to intervene with any damage caused by it. A total of sixty-two deaths were recorded, with only one survivor, local college student, Erin Ulmer. Ulmer is to be released from the city hospital today, as she escaped the accident with only minor burns, a few cracked ribs, and a broken wrist.
A figure, clad in all black, crumbled up the newspaper and dropped it to the ground, not even caring to find a proper trash recepticle. No one said anything. The person had their hands stuffed in the pockets of their trench-coat and just walked forward in a mechanical manner, not blinking, seeming to know where they were headed without even seeing, devoid of all emotions and morals.
The mysterious figure made their way through a small crowd of people near a newstand and shoved a few of them out of their path, not even caring to reply to some of the rude comments.
"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN', LADY!"
She didn't even turn around. Just kept going in one direction. She walked down the sidewalk, taking a few turns, and then coming to a small apartment complex. The woman walked through the main door and went up two flights of stairs. She stopped in front of apartment number 18 and fumbled with her keys. Opening the door, she stepped into the darkness.
Erin shut the door and dropped her keys to the ground. She locked the door and strode across the room. She soundlessly took off her trench-coat, carefully placing it on the couch and sat next to it. Erin sat there, emotionless, numb, staring at nothing ahead of her.
She definitely looked worse for wear. Her usually well-kept red hair was messy and uncombed, and her long, red locks fell over her eyes, giving her a haunted look. She was paler than usual and her usually bright, green eyes were now a darkened shade, lacking all signs of emotion. A few cuts adorned her face, some stitches on her left cheek under her eye.
A cast was present on her left arm, protecting her fragile, broken wrist. The cast stopped at her elbow, but medical tape was wrapped around her arm up to her shoulder, conceiling burn marks. Her right arm nearly matched, minus the fact that a horrible cut lined with stitches ran from her elbow up to her shoulder and across almost to her neck. The plain black tank-top she was wearing did no justice to hide her injuries.
What was there to hide anymore?
After what seemed like hours on end of tension and silence, Erin slowly turned her head to look down at her coat sitting beside her. She carefully reached into one of the inside pockets and pulled out a small pistol. She sat there for a moment, the small gun in her right hand.
Erin stared at the weapon, absolutely nothing running through her mind. She rested her hands in her lap, holding the pistol with in her right hand, fingering the smooth, cold metal.
It was loaded.
All of a sudden, in a rush of memories, Erin momentarily felt all her emotions rush back into her body, overwhelming her in a sense. She let out a tortured, frightened scream and began to cry hysterically.
"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?! WHY ME?! WHY DID IT CHOOSE ME?! WHAT ELSE COULD YOU NEED, YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING?!" Erin screamed at the ceiling, at nothing, for nothing. She continued screaming curses and accusations for everything bad that had ever happened to her. Eventually she grew tired and quieted her screams to pathetic sobs and whimpers.
Why did all this have to happen to me?! Why?! WHY?! It wasn't her fault any of this happened, was it? She tried. She tried to stop that rollercoaster! She tried to save everyone! She tried to stop that pile-up! And what did she do? Nothing, that's what. Why? She couldn't do anything drastic to stop it.
This was just like everything else in her life. She had lost her father at an early age. Her mother had remarried to try and fill the void. Erin tried to please her step-father. No matter what she did, he'd always find something. She had always done something wrong. And mommy always stopped and stared. Mommy always agreed with (fake)Daddy.
It was the same in junior high; she was picked on for being different. Erin had never done anything to any of those kids and they still provoked her. They still made her feel like shit. They still made her want to hurt herself. Everything was a hell until Ian came. Ian was what made her life worth living. Ian was who rescued her from domestic violence and saved her from herself.
But she had tragically lost Ian: her everything. Her reason.
Erin honestly tried to get over Ian. She accepted the fact that he died and she'd never get over him fully, being her first love and all. Erin had thought that in Jason she had found someone else. Someone to fill the void. Someone who shared the same pain as her and who would always understand.
And just like everything else, Jason was taken from her, too.
Everything from her father to her small circle of friends to her fiance had been taken from her; Ripped out of her hands while she stood there paralyzed, unable to do anything to stop it.
Erin tried desperately to stop her emotional breakdown. Anything was better than this. If she had to keep living, why live with emotions? Why? Especially when all one knows and is capable of feeling anymore is absolute despair and torment...
Something dawned on Erin.
What if, just hypothetically speaking here, that the last in line was to... oh say... make the utilitarian choice to kill themself?
Kevin's words echoed throughout Erin's mind.
That's right, thought Erin, her state of numbness returning to her body, I'm the only one left; the last in line... She looked down at the pistol in her hand. The silver gleam of it reflecting the moonlight streaming in from the blinds seemed to be taunting Erin.
Do it, she heard a voice in the back of her mind telling her. You know you want to...
Erin fearfully shook her head and felt her flood of emotions returning.
Look at you, said the voice, you're a wreck. You've lost EVERYTHING. You literally have NOTHING LEFT. What is there to live for? Your friends? Oh wait, they're all DEAD! DEAD! Just like IAN!
"No," sobbed Erin, drawing her knees to her chest and burying her face in them. "No..."
There's Jason, went on the voice. Nevermind, he's gone, too! Damn, looks like you're all alone. You're finally all alone... but wait, you've been alone all along, haven't you?
"No..."
Your dear father's been dead for almost fifteen years now... what was it he died of again? If it was suicide, it must run in the family... You think Mommy must miss you, right? Well think of it this way, if she even cared to begin with, do you honestly believe that she would have let that poor excuse for a father beat you like you werent' shit?! It's obvious that he never cared...
"SHUT UP!" screamed Erin, holding her hands tightly over her ears, trying to drown out the voice, even though it was in her mind.
You HAD someone who cared, IAN. But he's DEAD! You had him for a minute, but you let him SLIP! The same with Jason! JASON WISE IS DEAD! IAN MCKINLEY IS DEAD!
"I KNOW THEY'RE DEAD!" Erin screamed.
You can't take it anymore... Why should you? You can't go home, there's nobody there. Momma don't care, she didn't even call you while you were at the hospital... Your friends are gone; they died... They all screamed and cried... And you couldn't save them...
"NO!" Erin cried out into the night. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" She tightened her grip on the pistol in her right hand.
... You couldn't save them... All of them, DEAD... and here you are, cheated death a SECOND TIME!
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"
But remember what Kevin said... Just remember... What else is there to do? You'll be alone for the rest of your life... just like you always have been...
Erin fingered the barrel of the gun, the cold metal feeling so welcoming for a strange reason.
Ian's dead. Jason's dead. Julie's dead. They're all dead. You killed them.
"NO!" Erin sobbed hysterically, eventually bringing herself to vomit on the floor in front of her.
You let them die... you watched them die... you're still alive...
"NO!" She slammed her left hand against the small table to her left and cried out in pain from further damaging her broken wrist.
Ian... Jason... Dead... Wendy... Dead... You... Alive...
"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
DEAD! YOU KILLED THEM!
"I TRIED TO SAVE THEM!"
YOU KILLED THEM!
"I DIDN'T FUCKING KILL THEM!"
MURDERER! YOU KILLED THEM ALL! YOU KILLED--
A gun shot was heard echoing through the night.
AUTOPSY REPORT
CASE #: 180
DECEDENT: ERIN ALEXZ ULMER
AGE: 18 YEARS, HEIGHT: 67 INCHES
RACE: WHITE, WEIGHT: 135 LBS
SEX: FEMALE, IDENTIFIED BY: ANONYMOUS
DATE AND TIME OF AUTOPSY: JANUARY 11, 2006 at 9:00 a.m.
PERFORMED BY: DR. TALIA MOON
MANNER OF DEATH: SUICIDE
CAUSE OF DEATH: GUN-SHOT WOUND / HEAD TRAUMA
Death never loses. You cannot cheat death.