Gone..
Gone.. Gone.
This
word was going around my head like a ferris wheel going round and
round. This can't be. Sara can not be really gone. Or can she. No no
no, Sara. MY Sara.
I
can not take this anymore.
Gil
Grissom picks himself out of his chair, grabs his coat and starts
heading out of his office. The lump in his throat is growing bigger
by the second. "No.
Not here. Not in the office. Not in front of everyone." He heads to the locker room to pick up his things. On the way out,
Catherine calls after him, "Gil, I'm heading to an important
scene now, want to come along with me?". Grissom walks right by,
not even glancing up, or thinking of looking back.
He gets to his
car, and closes the door. He is limp. He can not move. He can feel
the lump in his throat rising again, but this time there is no
backing down. He is trying to control the sobs that are coming from
himself.
Why is this happening to me? I love her so much. How am I supposed to go on living without her? Where is she?
He
puts his car into gear and drives out of the parking garage. He
doesn't take his usual route. He's not quite ready to head home just
yet. He tries to turn on the radio to get his mind off of Sara, but
he knows it is no use. He keeps driving. He's not even paying
attention to where he is going. The car starts to slow down, and he
knows where he is. He climbs out, and heads to the booth to buy a
ticket, and he waits for the next ride to come.
He still
cannot believe what is happening. The roller coaster has arrived and
he seems to be one of the only people getting on alone. He climbs
into his usual seat, straps himself in, and waits for the ride to
start. Only this time, Gil doesn't get the normal thrill he
usually does when he rides the rollercoaster. instead, it was as if
he was seeing everything in slow motion.
Once it was stopped, he
got off and looked around him. All the people were in pairs. They
were laughing together having a great time.
He shrugged.
Grissom
started heading back to his car. It was not even like he was in his
body. Like his soul has left, and all that was left was him. Him.
Alone.
Once he reached his SUV, he climbed in, and started
heading to the place he was dreading the most - home.
He
stuck the key into the lock, and heard the usual click.
He opened
the door, closed it behind him and bolted it shut. He did not reach
for the lightswitch to turn on the lights, he just stood there.
He
tried fighting the sobs, but he could tell that they were once again,
going to win.
Gil made his way to the sofa, but in the middle of
the room, he just dropped. He curled up in a ball and started crying.
Then, everything went blank.