Gone

Gone.. Gone.. Gone.
This word was going around my head like a ferris wheel going round and round. This can't be. Sara can not be really gone. Or can she. No no no, Sara. MY Sara.
I can not take this anymore.

Gil Grissom picks himself out of his chair, grabs his coat and starts heading out of his office. The lump in his throat is growing bigger by the second. "No. Not here. Not in the office. Not in front of everyone." He heads to the locker room to pick up his things. On the way out, Catherine calls after him, "Gil, I'm heading to an important scene now, want to come along with me?". Grissom walks right by, not even glancing up, or thinking of looking back.
He gets to his car, and closes the door. He is limp. He can not move. He can feel the lump in his throat rising again, but this time there is no backing down. He is trying to control the sobs that are coming from himself.

Why is this happening to me? I love her so much. How am I supposed to go on living without her? Where is she?

He puts his car into gear and drives out of the parking garage. He doesn't take his usual route. He's not quite ready to head home just yet. He tries to turn on the radio to get his mind off of Sara, but he knows it is no use. He keeps driving. He's not even paying attention to where he is going. The car starts to slow down, and he knows where he is. He climbs out, and heads to the booth to buy a ticket, and he waits for the next ride to come.
He still cannot believe what is happening. The roller coaster has arrived and he seems to be one of the only people getting on alone. He climbs into his usual seat, straps himself in, and waits for the ride to start. Only this time, Gil doesn't get the normal thrill he usually does when he rides the rollercoaster. instead, it was as if he was seeing everything in slow motion.
Once it was stopped, he got off and looked around him. All the people were in pairs. They were laughing together having a great time.

He shrugged.

Grissom started heading back to his car. It was not even like he was in his body. Like his soul has left, and all that was left was him. Him. Alone.
Once he reached his SUV, he climbed in, and started heading to the place he was dreading the most - home.
He stuck the key into the lock, and heard the usual click.
He opened the door, closed it behind him and bolted it shut. He did not reach for the lightswitch to turn on the lights, he just stood there.
He tried fighting the sobs, but he could tell that they were once again, going to win.
Gil made his way to the sofa, but in the middle of the room, he just dropped. He curled up in a ball and started crying.

Then, everything went blank.