-Interview.

Interviewer: Edward Elric (In bold)

Interviewee: Millenium Earl (Normal text)

Thoughts are in italic.

Actions are bracketed.

Hajime.

Edward: Eh... hey everyone. This is Fullmetal here... I have no idea why I am here, though.

Earl: Oh, Edward-kun. How are you? You're small as ever, are you?

WHO ARE YOU CALLING 90&(U&*&IH SMALL *#&*(^#(&*^!&( TINY #*(&!*(&#!(*& MINISCULE *(&(*!&(*&(*! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!????

...

Are you Gluttony?

I am the Earl of the Millenium, Edward-kun.

Earl...? Right, we only have mayors, and stupid Lieutaniets that manage the towns. And Majors, and Alchemy.

...Alchemy? I only have piano.

Wow, I can't play, you know? Because of this (Shows automail hand).

Awww, that's sad, Edward-kun. Why did that happen?

Because I... uh, tried to bring my mom back to life.

(sniggers) Was it... my fault? Hehehehe.... Is she an akuma now?

.... No. It was me and my bro's fault. AND SHE'S NOT AN AKUMA. (glares)

Darn. I must've missed you out somehow... I can't visit everyone everytime... so busy busy...

...Eh, ok. Enough about all these. So, what do you do?

Turn people into akuma.

What the...? Is it like Human transmutation?

What's that??????

Uh, its like, put all these 28 and more elements into a big tub, and ffzzzz electricity and boom, a human pops out?

Oh, mine is something like, find someone crying, create a StickFas figure like thingo with a star on its forhead, and then tell that person crying to scream, fzzzzzzzzz electricity and boom, and the StickFas pops INTO the human.

.... eww. Maybe I'd give that a try. Does it work?

Yeah, the soul comes back. I heard you only lack the soul.

(Silence) (Runs to transmute mother again) TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHAAAAA!!

SFX: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

(StickFAs figurine come down and bright flash, Trisha's name written on the forehead.)

(Awkward Silence)

Trisha, kill Edward.

(Is feeling agonised) I failed again! Am I going to see the Truth?

You're going to see the Truth alright.

REALLY?! OMG!!!

Stop that. Its annoying the hell out of me.

... then why are you still grinning?

Senen ko wa sagashitteru
Daijino hearto sagashitteru
Anata wa atari sashitameyo
Daijino hearto sagashiteru~

Uh, kay..... wrong song, i think.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, who lives in the pineapple-

(Silence)

Still wrong.

Trisha: EEEEEEDDDD-WAAAARD..........

MOOOM! AGH! So horrible! She's trapped in plastic! Its even more horrendous than Human transmutation!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(FROM THE NEXT ROOM...)

Kanda: GET ON WITH IT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CONDUCTION AN INTERVIEW - WHAT IS THIS, SOAP OPERA?!

Allen: Kanda, don't be so mean. The Earl is having some fun with a prey from another anime.

Kanda: Mumbles.

I am sad to announced that Edward Elric has become an akuma. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING HIM SHORT BECAUSE -

...... (Dead Silence from SwiftFeather....)

MWHAHAHAHAAHA.... (Creepy laugh from Ed)

Hmmm... the next would be rather interesting.... heh heh heh heh.... YAOI LOVERS ALERT!

Interviewer: Usami Akihiko (Junjou Romantica)

Interviewee: Lavi Bookman