I have no excuse... except I was boooored and I really wanted to write something... schoolwork is keeping me from focusing well enough on Later-Early and Savior so this crack was born... Now I'll go drag my brain out of the trash and do more schoolwork.
Thankfully I don't own Naruto or a lot of fans would be scratching their heads thinking why the latest manga chapter looked like the author just lost his mind.
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"... It's going to be a cold day in hell before I EVER go on a date with you and me sleeping with you is about as likely as Naruto and Sasuke having a fist fight, wearing pink dresses while both of them were competing in a beauty pageant!!"
Iruka's words echoed in the now silent mission room. The chuunin was so pissed off and annoyed that he didn't even blush from all the stares he was getting. He'd had more than enough of the Jounins insistent provocations and jokes. There was just no way the guy meant it and being taunted with something you could never get was getting a bit to much for Iruka.
Personally Kakashi had been hoping for a cute blush like usual. He had not been expecting the 5 minute rant about his flaws and how unlikely it was for Iruka to ever consider going out with him.. a simple no would have been fine. Kakashi didn't give up though, he just grinned and walked out of the mission room leaving the chuunin there to calm down and hopefully not faint from blushing once he had. Iruka had just issued him a challenge and Kakashi sure as hell was going to beat it, he had his pride to restore after all after getting shot down in front of the whole mission room. Getting the sexy little chuunin would definitely be the icing on the cake though.
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Kakashi had spent hours at the library and turned almost every filing cabinet he could find upside down looking for it, he knew he had seen it somewhere before he just couldn't remember where. He'd finally found it in a catacomb like room somewhere under the main filing rooms in the hokage tower along with some other neglected rarely used documents. He smiled to himself, Now only one more thing and Iruka will be mine, and then made his way to the training grounds to meet up with his team.
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"EHHH!" came the horrified scream from Naruto. Sasuke didn't say anything but his normally stoic look was gone, he now looked like someone had told him Itachi had just entered a twelve step program for psychopaths and would be coming over to apologize for the massacre and ask if they could start over again. Sakura looked a bit confused but Inner-Sakura was laughing madly.
"H-h-hell no! Why do we have to do it!! Shouldn't this be a job for someone like Sakura and some other girl." Naruto stammered out still in shock
"Because, brat, we'll actually have to get into the competition and Sakura doesn't have a chance."
Kakashi now had 3 very angry, annoyed and twitching students standing in front of him.
"Come on look at it as a challenge or something, it'll train you in infiltration tactics and things."
Naruto still didn't look convinced, Sasuke was back to his normal self but his eyebrow was twitching rather wildly.
"Alright, alright.." Kakashi said offhandedly. "I guess you don't want to win the lifetime supply of ramen then. 10,9,8, Such a shame really, 7,6, I heard the competition would be near the Akatsuki hideout as well.. 5,4, I was going to suggest we go and investigate while we were there but I'm sure I can settle my defeat by Itachi some other time." 3,2,1.
"We're in!" Bingo!
"Ah, great be ready here at 7 am sharp tomorrow morning and don't be late."
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The moment had come, all Kakashi had to do was wait for the perfect moment and snap the photo and like planed he could see his two underlings glaring at each other on the stage, it wouldn't be long now.
"Teme" Naruto whispered. "What do you think your doing!"
"Shut up usuratonkachi, I should be asking you that."
"Your the idiot, what the hell were you thinking! I was the one who was to wear the pink dress, you were supposed to wear the blue one idiot-teme"
"No way Kakashi clearly said I was supposed to wear the pink dress, you must have just not gotten it into your thick head Deadlast.. or maybe you just liked the pink so much is that it?"
"What did you say!" Naruto pushed Sasuke.
"I said you probably wore the dress because you like pink, which isn't surprising seeing how girlie you are" Sasuke pushed back.
"That's it teme."
And soon Naruto and Sasuke were in an all out fistfight in the middle of the Miss-Raincountry beauty pageant, wearing identical pink dresses, while Kakashi snapped away on the camera.
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Kakashi happily waltzed into the mission office and made his way up to Iruka's desk. Once there he tossed his victory on the table in front of the chuunin.
"Kakashi-san, what the hell is this?" Iruka looked at him in annoyance. "This is not the mission report that's two weeks overdue at the moment."
"Oh no, this is much better. Much, much better. You see these are the reasons for you to go out with me."
"Kakashi-san I already told you..."
"Yes I know.. cold day in hell and Naruto and Sasuke yare, yare. But as you can see if you look here." Kakashi held up the old document he'd found. "Hell, or hel as they call it, in old norse mythology was actually cold."
"What, that's some long dead religion.."
"Ah well you didn't specify it.. you didn't say it had to be a cold day in hell in our religion you just said hell and this is clearly hell in this religion."
"I suppose but.."
"And if you look here you'll see one Naruto and Sasuke having a fist fight, in pink dresses, while competing in a beauty pageant."
"What.. how did you.."
"So I'll be picking you up at 7 tonight then, make sure to be ready, I have lots of fun plans for tonight sensei.
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Oh and I don't have anything against Sakura I was only joking, but if you really want to get offended and defensive then feel free to flame me or what ever, it's your choice..