How would you explain to Drakken that he was, even if only briefly, an 18th-century pirate?

Kim Possible and ancillary characters belong to Disney.

"Green lady say what?"

Drakken, his eyes narrowed in a mix of confusion and suspicion, looked over the top of his cocoa-moo at Shego.

The two were back in the old Caribbean lair. Drakken was wearing a black bathrobe with a blue sash and sitting in his command chair, a steaming mug in his hand, and his feet in a basin of hot water.

Shego put one hand to her forehead and sighed. Why, why do I even bother? "Yes, you heard right. Possessed by the spirit of a dead pirate."

Drakken just stared at her.

"Well, don't look at me! I'm not the one who suddenly sprouted a mustache and chin puff and started wearing period dress."

The blue-skinned scientist continued to stare, now with his mouth hanging open. He regained control over his jaw just enough to say, "I…I was wearing a dress?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Don't you remember anything? Mysterious treasure chest, enchanted cutlass, every-day-is-talk-like-a-pirate-day?"

Drakken shook his head mutely.

"Ugh." Shego was having a hard time keeping from blasting him where he sat, out of sheer orneriness.

"Wait a minute," Drakken sudden interjected. "I do remember something about a treasure chest…. Full of gold! Gold dubloons!" He looked around frantically. "Where's my treasure?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, you numbskull. The treasure belonged to some 18th century pirate named Blackeye Brown. Tried to conquer Port Mystic Cove Haven in 1725, was defeated, and vowed revenge from beyond the grave."

Now it was Drakken's turn to rub his forehead.

"Shego. You're telling me that I… I turned into a pirate? With a sword? And a ship?"

"Yep."

"Pirate hat?"

"Yep."

There was a long pause before Drakken eked out the next word, in a very small voice.

"Parrot?"

Then another pause, of equal length. And a very, very exasperated sigh.

"Yes."

Drakken sipped from his mug and chewed things over for a moment. "Hmmm…."

Then his eyes lit up.

"You'd think that, with a magical sword and a crew of henchmen from the netherworld, I'd have finally been able to eliminate Kim Possible."

He looked up at Shego for further explanation.

She cleared her throat. "Yeah, sure, uh, you'd think so…but she, uh, got the better of you yet again. Uh, unfortunately. So here we are. Underwater lair destroyed, dubloons lost, humiliation in spades." She sighed again. "So, like pretty much every other plot, ever."

Drakken looked at Shego suspiciously. "Oh really, Shego."

Shego looked back, uncertain of whether her bluff was being called.

"Of course," Drakken said, smugly. "Certainly, Shego, naturally, there's no other explanation for my brief memory lapse than that I was possessed by the spirit of a dead buccaneer!"

Shego stared at him, agape, still unsure where this was going.

"Good one, Shego, good one. I must admit, you really had me going there. Magic sword! Parrot! Oh my goodness…" He chortled with abandon.

"Um, ahoy there, Dr. D, you think I'd make this up?"

Drakken paused mid-laugh, taken aback by Shego's serious tone.

"You think I liked being the 'wench' to your Long John Azure? Being ordered around by a crazed undead pirate and his avian shoulder candy?"

Her tone was positively dangerous. And her hands had begun to glow.

Drakken decided it was time to back off.

"Well…when you put it that way, ha, yes, I do see your point, Shego."

She wasn't ready to let it go, quite yet.

"Don't think, Cap'n Clueless, that I didn't seriously consider just saying that you went on a three-day bender in Vegas with the henchmen. And don't think that I wouldn't have had photographs of you and a circus elephant faked to prove it!"

Drakken gave her a skeptical look.

"Oh, I don't think so, Shego." he said, smugly. "You may be a villainess, and you may enjoy the occasional good laugh at my expense…but, deep down, I believe you respect the code."

"The code?" Shego couldn't believe her ears. "The…pirate code?"

"What?" Once again, Drakken wore a confused expression. "The pirate code? What in blue blazes is that? No – the villain code. You know, honor among thieves, etc.…"

"Um, Dr. D, I'm pretty sure the saying is 'there's no honor among thieves.'

"Is it?" Drakken looked bemused. "I was quite sure it was the other way around." He yawned mightily. "Ah, well, enough philosophical debate, Shego. I'm plum tuckered out." He took a last sip of cocoa-moo, then he stood up and set the mug down on the workbench. "I'm off to bed."

He strode off in the direction of the living quarters, leaving a trail of wet footprints. Just before leaving the room, he turned back for a moment.

"Yaaar, Shego," he growled, grinning widely at his own joke. Then he continued on his way.

Shego picked up an emory board and started in on her nails. "Yaaaar, yourself, Blue Boy," she muttered. No more underwater lairs. Ever.