Disclaimer: Make pwnage, not ownage.

Or something clever. Cut me some slack here.

This is a CATfic, based on an idea (and extensive notes) by TheNoblePorpoise. Please forgive any suckness in the execution; I'm having a bit of trouble with one particular scene. Expect delays, with my apologies.

Visit the spiffed-up website at www. freewebs. com/ catverse. This fic takes place during the Arc of Death, after "So Long and Thanks" and before BiteMeTechie's "Charity Begins at Home."

Metropolitan Tomfoolery

Metropolis was such a beautiful city. It was like Gotham, without all the dark.

Al pretty much hated it from the moment its skyline appeared through the windshield of the VW bus. Maybe it had something to do with the blinding early-morning sunlight in her eyes. (She and the sun had never gotten along.) Maybe it was the fact that, though bright and clean, Metropolis still looked like a city. (How she had survived so well in Gotham, she would never know, because she needed trees.) Maybe it was because the last time she had gone to Metropolis, she had been bored out of her mind—the worst possible excuse for going out of one's mind, in her opinion.

Or maybe it was just because Superman lived there.

Al couldn't really explain her vehement dislike of the cape-wearing boy scout. As a hero, he was certainly effective, and allying herself with the "bad guys" hadn't lessened her ability to appreciate a job well done. He had never done anything to her, personally, or to anyone she cared about, and if he ever took it upon himself to put a stop to the Scarecrow's shenanigans, she could imagine that he would go about it a lot more gently than Batman. (Of course Al judged all her enemies by how much they were willing to hurt the Squish.)

Ironically, she actually liked Batman—though very much from afar. At least he wasn't so deadly dull. She didn't know how Superman managed not to bore his enemies into a coma before they ever started throwing punches, or lasers, or whatever weapon was their gimmick of the day.

Honestly, she had met roadkill with more sparkling personality.

Needless to say, she wasn't looking forward to seeing him. But if she did, she knew exactly what she was going to do.

And if they ended up staying for any significant length of time, he was going to come after them. Al and her friends had big plans for this town.

Just because they were dead didn't mean they had to stop having fun.