A/N: I'm alive :) Here's a one-shot.
Disclaimerr: I own two ferrets?
"Max, where do babies come from?" Oh, God. What fresh hell is this?
"Um, Angel, can I talk to you later about this?" Anytime but now; Preferably in thirty years.
"Why? Can you please tell me now? Please?" She was practically begging me for this information. It seemed like something Iggy would put Gazzy up to.
"Fine. But I'm not happy about this." What? It was the bambi-eyes. Really, there are about 375,923,192 other things I would rather do right this second instead of this. Maybe I'd start with shoving nails into my eyes.
"Okay. So?" Angel asked impatiently.
"Well, um, when a man and a woman love each other very, very, much, sometimes they are lucky enough to want to have babies with each other.
"And--"
"No," she said, looking annoyed, "I meant your babies, Max."
"WHAT?!" So now I'm having babies?
"Yeah, yours and Fang's. Duh." Where on earth does she come up with this stuff?
"Angel, I'm not having any babies. Especially not with Fang. Plus, I don't even know what would happen if I was going to have a baby." Like I should ever have had to say any of this? Really, me and Fang? That will never happen.
"Okay. Well, never mind." Yes!
As she walked away I swore I heard her mumble something around the lines of, "--and Fang told me they were going to have babies one day. What a liar." Wait, who was the liar--me, or Fang?
Then I choked on the water I was drinking. Drowned would probably explain it better.
What is Fang's problem? One more awkward thing we get to discuss. Oh, the joy.
As I trudged to Fang's room, it might as well have been death row. I was shaking and I had that metallic taste in my mouth. You know, the one you get before you're going to throw up? Fighting 500 Erasers myself would be easier that this.
I knocked at his door, and almost as if he was waiting for me, the door opened right away.
"Max? Is that you?" asked Fang, groggily. I guess not everyone's up at 4:00 in the morning. Who knew?
"Um, Yeah. Listen, I, um, I need to talk to you." That last part came out all rushed. I really wasn't sounding like the strong, invincible Max right now.
"Is everything okay?" How could I even answer him when I didn't know the answer myself?
"I don't know yet, but I need to talk to you."
"Okay. So talk."
"So, um, what's up with Angel asking me where babies come from? And she said something about you telling her that we were having babies. Can you explain why in the world Angel thinks I'm having babies with you? 'Cause I'm just really confused about this." Confused to say the least, now I was starting to sound like Nudge.
"Oh. Wow. Um, I don't know what she's talking about."
"Come on, Fang. I can tell you're lying. I know you better than that."
"Okay." he said, monotone. "I really don't know, but do you want to hear what happened earlier?"
"No freaking duh."
Flashback: Fang POV
"Fang, where do babies come from?" Angel asked innocently.
"Angel, can we talk about this later?" Oh, God. Shouldn't she be asking Max about this?!
"Will you please tell me? Pretty please with sugar on top?" It was the bambi-eyes. You just can't escape them.
"Fine. Babies come from women. You know, like Max? You might have a baby someday too."
"Okay? And?" Now she was getting impatient.
"Um, I really think you should talk to Max about all of this, although both of us might have babies one day."
"Okay. Thanks Fang!" Angel said as she smiled, walking away from him.
That was almost too easy to get rid of her-- She has to be up to something.
"See? That's the whole story."
"Are you kidding me?" Well, that went over like a ton of freaking bricks. "Why in your right mind would you tell her that we might have babies one day?" By now I was whisper-shouting at him.
"I didn't mean that it was going to be you and me together. More like you and me with other people. People other than each other?" Now he was starting to sound like Nudge more than me. He might have even used up his yearly allotment of words.
For some reason what he said shocked me. I kinda felt empty thinking about my future without him-- No, bad Max. Fang is your brother.
"Oh, okay. I think you need to tell her about that though."
"Mkay. Night, Max," he said as he walked towards his bed.
"Night, Fang." I still felt a little empty after our talk, but I headed for my room anyway.
As soon as I got into my bed, I heard a soft knock on my door and then Fang walked in even without me saying a word.
"Max? You up?"
"Yeah." Crap, I feel like I'm going to cry now. I can't talk to him after our last conversation.
"Listen, now I need to talk to you. What's going on?" Oh, jeez. He knows everything.
"Nothing? Why?" I said, even though my voice probably sounded shaky.
"I don't know, you just seemed upset."
"Oh, that. Nope, its nothing."
"Okay, well I just wanted to let you know that even though I wasn't telling Angel that we, as in you and me, together, would have babies, it could still happen." My heart just became ten pounds lighter.
What happened next shocked me more: It made me feel like I was floating.
Fang leaned into towards me and kissed my forehead. Then he whispered, "Night, Maximum," and walked out of the room.
I just sat there and smiled like a dope.