A.N.: This was inspired by a similar discussion that I had with my friends the other day. (Incidentally, I agree with what Light says at the end.)

"I'm telling you, it's Light!"

L and Light stopped abruptly just inside the investigation room and looked at each other. They'd gone to the kitchen to make coffee ten minutes ago, and it sounded as if, during their absence, some kind of argument had begun. Matsuda certainly sounded very emphatic.

Neither of them moved forward, staying next to the door. It seemed that the investigation team hadn't noticed them yet, and Light wanted to know what was going on. Were they discussing Kira's identity? It sounded like it—but he'd thought that Matsuda was on his side.

"That doesn't make any sense." Aizawa sounded impatient. "It's definitely L."

Light raised one eyebrow at L, who gave a small shrug. Aizawa couldn't possibly think that L was Kira—could he?

"It can't be L," Matsuda said. "I can't picture that at all. He's too…quiet. And calm."

"He's aggressive, too," Aizawa argued. "How do you think he became the world's greatest detective?"

"By calmly and logically thinking things out—not by aggression! He does the thinking, and leaves the dirty work to everyone else."

"He's assertive," Aizawa replied. "He makes sure things are done his way."

"So's Light! He's even more like that! Remember that fight they got into in Misa's room? Light threw the first punch, and he was winning, too. He's powerful."

"L is, too, but in a different way."

It didn't really sound like they were arguing about who was Kira. Maybe it was over who would catch Kira first. Light thought about it, and decided that that made sense.

"Oh, yeah?" Matsuda said stubbornly. "How's that?"

"There's just something about L—don't you see it? He doesn't make a big deal about it, but he's powerful too."

"Yeah, I guess, but not as much as Light."

"No, even more than Light." Aizawa was starting to sound exasperated. "He's said before that he hates losing—he wouldn't let Light beat him in anything. He's always got to be the winner, even if he isn't obvious about it."

"It's the other way around," Matsuda said. "Light hates losing even more, and he wouldn't let L beat him. He's the one who's got to win."

"You're both being ridiculous," Ide cut in. "This argument has gone on long enough."

Aizawa ignored him. "Back me up here, Ide! I'm right, aren't I?"

"No, I'm right," Matsuda insisted. "You know I am! Right, Ide?"

Ide looked disapproving. "Well, I still think it's ridiculous, but I guess I'd say L."

"I'm siding with Aizawa," Mogi put in. "It's L."

"Yagami-san, you're on my side, right?" Matsuda said. "It's definitely Light!"

"Well…" Soichiro hesitated, sounding reluctant. "I hate to say it, but I've got to go with L."

"What?" Matsuda sounded outraged. "You're going against your own son?"

"My son or not, it's still not going to be him," Soichiro replied. "Aizawa's right about L."

"Misa Misa," Matsuda said, a bit desperately, "you agree with me, don't you?"

"I agree with Ide," she said, sounding miffed. "This is ridiculous. You're just so completely wrong—"

"It's a hypothetical situation!" Matsuda told her. "Just say what you think, hypothetically—Light or L?"

"Well, if I had to choose, I would definitely say Light's on top. But," Misa added quickly, "Light and L are not lovers!"

"Yes!" Matsuda said triumphantly, then noticed Light and L standing by the door. His eyes widened. Seeing the look on his face, the others turned to look, too.

"Whoops," Aizawa said softly.

"Uh-oh," Mogi muttered.

"You guys are in trou-ble!" Misa sang gleefully.

"I—I didn't mean it," Matsuda stammered as Light and L strode toward them. "We were just talking, and…well, somehow it came up…we didn't mean it, though, we really didn't! It was entirely hypothetical, and—" He trailed off as Light stopped in front of him, looking seriously ticked off. "You're going to kill me, aren't you?" he squeaked.

"You're all wrong," Light said, annoyed that none of them had been able to figure it out (and by the fact that most of them, including his own father, had thought it was L). "Honestly. Did it never occur to you that we take turns?"