Disclaimer: The song belongs to The Offspring, the characters belong to Disney.

Post Graduation

Pairings: Ron/Shego

Mentioned KiGo

Self-Esteem

Betty A. Patchy

I wrote her off for the tenth time today.

Ron sighed as he watched his 'romantic dinner' candles extinguish themselves. He trudged into the kitchen, loosening the tie around his neck as he went, the slim blonde pulled his prepared meal out of the oven where it had sat warmed for hours. Disgruntled he turned to his trash can and in one smooth, violent, motion threw the entire tray into the garbage.

"What on Earth was I thinking? Come over Shego—I'll make dinner—it'll be fun." The kung-fu practitioner snarled aloud as he made far more noise than necessary cleaning his kitchen.

Practiced all the things I would say.

"We're through, Shego. It's over. Go find some other young stud to fuck—I'm not interested." Ron surveyed his reflection in the mirror. Good, he looked firm, resolute even,--perfectly ready to turn down great, meaningless sex.

As a matter of fact why turn it down? She never gave him the courtesy of notification when she cancelled plans. He just wouldn't answer the door when she came around—if she came around—the treacherous bitch would get the hint sooner or later.

But she came over, I lost me nerve,

The familiar sharp raps reverberated from the door throughout his entire apartment. Each tap cracking with the sharpness of a gun blast.

Tap, Tap, Tap

Ron waited in an agonized silence, counting the seconds as these crawled by one—two—three—he couldn't just leave her out there, that would be majorly rude. He had been raised better than that. Before the fourth second had past the man found himself leaning against the door frame staring eye to eye with the brunette who gave him both erotic dreams and terrifying nightmares.

I took her back and made her dessert.

The sable-haired temptress breezed past him and threw herself onto his couch in a position that was equal parts inviting and predatory. "Well?" Shego looked at him expectantly with a delicate eyebrow arched in faint irritation.

Ron cleared his throat anxiously as he tore his eyes away from a body he was sure existed beyond the grasp of time. "Er—are you hungry?"

The irksome vixen just smiled.

I know I'm being used—

Ron moaned desperately as Shego planted smoldering kisses up and down his body. "One more time?" The mercenary asked as she moved to straddle his bare waist.

"Yes, yes! Fuck yes!"

That's okay because I like the abuse.

Sinful black lips teased his neck and a curious tongue explored his skin. When the man could take no more he was reminded that no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't touch the woman above him unless he wanted to break his bed freeing himself from the impromptu restraints the held his arms to his headboard.

Shego laughed at his frustration and seemed to delight in pushing him further as she dragged her nails down his chest.

'Screw it—' Ron managed to think dimly as he heart began to beat faster. 'I'll buy a new bed.'

I know she's playing with me,

that's okay 'cause I got no self-esteem.

Stoppable stared back at his reflection in a full-length mirror. He was vaguely aware that he looked like a person who had gone six rounds with a jungle cat. Neat rows of scratches cris-crossed his torso, and purple bruises blotted his neck. Despite, or perhaps because of, all this the blonde couldn't wipe the shit-eating grin off his face.

The plasma-wielding mercenary swaggered up behind the young man, smirking as she joined her lover in nude observation.

"Come over tomorrow." Ron said suddenly, without any input from his brain.

"Why not." Shego said with a casual shrug. The woman took full advantage of her position behind the martial artist and nibbled on his earlobe. "I'm already thinking of some things to do later."

We make plans to go out at night.

Ron straightened out his shirt and checked his breath for the fourth time in five minutes. He had left the restaurant early so that he would have time to get ready. The twenty-eight year old double checked his pockets to be sure he still had the tickets to The Hole in the Ground for their sold out show.

I wait 'til two then I turn out the light.

In the dim light that streamed through the window above the sink Stoppable was able to see just how shitty he looked.

This was the third time he had put himself 'out there' only to be figuratively burned by the confusing woman he slept with.

All this rejections got me so low,

If she keeps it up I just might tell her no!

"Ron? Hey Ron! Snap out of it!" The occasional sidekick, fulltime chef shook his head violently as if to forcibly eject his previous thoughts from his mind. Tara stared at her friend in a manner which suggest she was wondering what sort of fluff was occupying his skull in place of grey matter.

"What's up, Tara?"

"You mean aside from the three gallons of bouillabaisse you burned? Nothing much." Ron looked, for the first time, at the contents of the pot he'd been idly stirring.

"Oh man—this tanks!" Ron pushed the pot off the burner in disgust and turned to his sous chef. "Sorry Tara, I haven't been sleeping well."

"I could tell, you look like lukewarm death." Indeed Ron's usually peaches and cream complexion was wan and sickly. His dark under eye circles had circles of their own and were so black that Tara was reminded of his days as a football player,

"What's bothering you?" The blonde woman asked, genuinely concerned. Stoppable gave a small grimace that tried to pass itself off as a smile.

"It's nothing important. I think I'm finally done with it."

When she's saying, oh that she wants only me

Shego pressed her supple body against his and laughed lowly. Ron was acutely aware of every subtle vibration the laughter caused in the woman's body. "We're done Shego. I'm not playing these games anymore." The blond refused to make any sort of eye contact with the woman who laughed in his face when he ended the relationship.

"Ron," The former villainess purred, cornering him again. "I had to work—you know how that is—out of the country without a moment's notice." A victorious smirk crossed black lips as she felt the man's body yield to hers. Ron was dimly aware that he was caressing his (ex?)lover's body in a way that contradicted his earlier statements.

Warm skin met warmer skin and all of Stoppable's higher level arguments went out the window.

Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends

Ron picked a long, black hair off Kim's jacket.

"What's this?" He asked with a false sense of calm.

"Huh?" The redhead turned to see what her best friend was talking about. When she realized precisely what he was holding a light flush settled across her cheeks. "Oh, that? It's probably Shego's—I let her borrow this jacket a couple of days ago and her hair gets everywhere." Kim explained nonchalantly without making eye contact.

Ron knew this to be true and wished he could leave it at that but when the green eyed woman turned away once more a gentle breeze moved the collar of her shirt to reveal a bite mark on her collarbone.

"Are you sleeping with Shego?" He shouted, more incredulous and louder than he'd intended. Kim immediately glanced around somewhat paranoid only to relax when she realized they were still alone.

"Geez Ron, loud much?" The Global Justice agent whispered harshly.

"Sorry." The blonde apologized reflexively. Mollified by her best friend's contrition Kim pulled Ron into a convenient alcove and whispered again, even quieter than before.

"Yes I slept with Shego, but it's not like we're together or anything. Its just sometimes when we're on missions; she just—I just—you know?"

Ron did know but what he really wanted to know was why his sometime lover was screwing his best friend.

"You're not mad right, Ron" Kim asked anxiously as it occurred to her that the male was reacting oddly. "I mean you and I called it quits ages ago."

'Oh that's not why I'm mad KP. I'm made because we're sleeping with the same woman.' Out loud he said "No KP, I'm not mad…I was just shocked. I mean you and Shego? Heh, weird."

When she's saying, oh that I'm like a disease

Then I wonder how much more I can stand.

"What are we doing here?" Ron asked, suddenly sitting up from his previous reclined position. Shego blinked in confusion at the blonde's unwarranted question.

"Do I need to draw you a picture?" She countered with a smirk.

"No, I mean—" Stoppable turned to fully face the brunette. "are you and I…are we an us? Together is what I mean." He was only growing more and more awkward as he kept talking, but he felt that if he stopped there would be an even more awkward silence. "I've been thinking and we've been doing…this for a while—"

Mercifully the mercenary cut him off with a fierce kiss. "I think," She said slowly deliberately drawing each word out as she pushed the young man back onto his back. "that you should stop thinking so much."

Well I guess I should stick up for myself,

Ron had plucked another ebony strand of hair off of Kim's clothes this morning. He'd had all day to simmer and stew—this was the last straw. The blonde deserved more respect than he was getting.

The sable-haired woman entered the apartment without a care in the world. Emerald eyes locked onto chocolate and Ron spoke.

"We need to talk."

But I really think its better this way.

Panting Ron stared upwards at his ceiling waiting for his heartbeat to subside. Before the sweat had a chance to disperse from his skin Shego's face came into view. The innocence that her tussled mane lent her was belied by the devilish gleam in her eyes.

"Wait." He managed feebly as the woman disappeared from view again.

"Sorry Ronster, I don't feel that I've made it up to you yet."

'She is going to kill me…what a way to go.'

The more you suffer,

The more is shows you really care.

Right?

Now I'll relate this little bit

It happens more than I like to admit.

Late at night, she knocks on my door,

Tap, Tap, Tap

With an almost Pavlov-ian reaction Ron shot to his door and threw it open.

Shego grinned at the martial artist before she awkwardly stumbled through the entryway.

She's drunk again and looking to score.

Now intellectually Ron knew that Shego had been partying and had only come to him for sex…But come on! She had come to him looking for sex.

"How much have you had?" He asked cautiously, not really caring about the answer but still trying to make a preemptive strike against his inevitable feelings of guilt.

"Not enough to set anything on fire." She managed, fumbling with the buttons on his shirts.

No I know I should say no but,

It's kinda hard when she's ready to go.

"Good enough for me." Satisfied he wasn't really taking advantage of the inebriated woman Ron become and active participant.

I may be dumb but I'm not a dweeb.

"Come on Ron, you can tell ush. We're all friends here and we're concerned. You haven't had a girlfriend in over a year—when was the last time you got shume?" Josh Mankey, the restaurant's flair bartender, slurred only slightly as he leaned conspiratorially across the counter.

Ron, Josh and a couple of other guys from work were having some drinks now that N.E.M was closed for the night. The other employees had been ribbing the blonde for the past hour trying to get him to open up about his sex life, or lack there of. The martial artist didn't mind the teasing though; he just sat through it all with the same Mona Lisa smile.

"You're leaving already?" Ron asked from where he lay flat on his back.

Shego smoothed her mussed hair in front of the mirror. Casually she smiled at the spent man. "I've got to shower; I'm supposed to meet Kim for a mission in three hours."

"Yeah, well—" The bathroom door shut before the blonde man could finish his sentence. "Okay, I'll see you later then."

I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem.