Least Likely
Teen Titans
Garth/Roy
Rated T
General/Romance
"Me, and..." Garth looked around the room, laying eyes on a yawning Speedy. "And the fish-eating monster over there, are the least likely couple."
This used to be a two-paragraph ball of crap in my slush pile, but I found it and wrote some more and ended up developing it into a silly little one-shot! (You can be assured that other stories in my massive file of "Indefinite Hiatus" will be regarded to see if anything can come of them, because this was certainly the ugliest duckling ever, and now it's a not-so-ugly swanling, aww.)
Again, high on chocolate. Whoa.
This also happens to be a birthday present for Caz/ibbsc/Carol-Anne/"that weird stalker person"/Cazzy, and was technically finished by her actual birthday... but I wasn't satisfied with it yet. (I'm sorry for the lateness!) So, a little belatedly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Everyone, go worship her Speedy/Aqualad drawings, they're adorable!
Behold the fluff!
Aqualad sat in a leather armchair in the den of Titans East Tower, the only bored-out-of-his-mind Titan in the group. All ten of the main Titans were there—except the twins, who had gone to bed a few minutes ago—for their annual spring party. They had parties every season, usually a few every month, for various pointless occasions.
The spring party, Garth had decided hours ago, was the most pointless of them all, prompted by just the excuse of celebrating a miserable, rainy day by playing pictionary and scrabble.
But now that the twins were out of the room, the older Titans were beginning to get slightly more risqué with their fun, and Garth found it even more juvenile than before, especially now that Bumblebee had brought out a new so-called game.
"Take a piece of paper from this box," Karen said, holding up a shoebox, "and read it aloud. Then you answer the question and choose someone else to take a turn." She held it out to the archer and shook it, rustling the slips of paper within. "Take a piece, Roy."
Looking almost insulted, the redhead chose his question and read it with a smirk. "'Least likely to realize feelings for each other?' Are you serious, Bee?"
She twoked him on the head with the box and he acquiesced with a grunt. "Fine. Umm…" He looked around the group and pointed to Raven and Beast Boy. "You two are so depressing to watch, like some never-ending teen movie. God, it's like, just make out already, y'know?"
Both Titans turned red, though the blush was significantly more apparent on the pale-skinned witch. Incidentally having sat next to each other, both Raven and Beast Boy shifted a few more millimeters apart; the changeling cleared his throat.
"Awk-ward," Roy chuckled, kicking the box toward the Boy Wonder. "Oi, Robbie, your turn."
Garth sighed and glanced at the clock; it was past midnight, and he was getting more tired from boredom than from exhaustion.
"All right," Robin agreed, fishing for a slip of paper. He unfolded it and laughed. "Most gay villain?" he asked.
Huffily, the Atlantean rolled his eyes. Immature.
"Doctor Light," Robin said simply, throwing the paper onto the coffee table. "Uh, Star, you can go."
Everyone but Garth watched her with amusement as she struggled to stay in her seat. Nearly floating off the couch with happiness, she grabbed for the box and triumphantly yanked a paper out.
"Which Titan," she read dramatically, "is the most likely…" Her face suddenly grew uncertain. "…the most likely to… make love to Slade?"
Roy started laughing; Robin threw a pillow at him.
"Let her answer before you two get into a fistfight," Garth droned, sighing. He looked at the princess. "Go ahead, Starfire."
"Um," she mumbled, seeming afraid to answer but still somewhat amused. "I believe… I believe Robin might be most likely—"
"What?" the Boy Wonder exploded, spinning on her. "I would never—that's ridiculous—that's disgusting!—I never—"
"You obsess over him enough," Roy laughed, receiving another, more forceful, pillow to the face. "Is that where you go at night?"
"You piece of—"
"Aqualad," Starfire said loudly, simultaneously breaking the argument and getting Garth's attention. "Aqualad, I believe it is your turn to choose."
Nodding apathetically, he reached for a paper. "Least likely couple?"
"Robin and Slade," the Boy Wonder grumbled, to everyone's amusement.
"Can I say Mos and Menos?" Garth asked.
"Too easy," Karen argued. "Pick two unrelated people."
"Robin and Slade?" he tried, to Robin's appreciation.
"Most likely, maybe," Roy sniggered.
"No," Karen said, waving her hand for him to pick again.
"Fine. Myself, and…" He looked around the room, laying eyes on a yawning Speedy. "And the fish-eating monster over there, as least likely couple."
There was a moment of silence, and everyone burst into laughter with agreement—all except for the archer himself, who froze in mid-stretch and dropped his arms.
"Wait, what?" he asked, abruptly indignant. Anger flashed across his face, followed by a wounded look until the annoyance returned. "How the hell did you think of this crap?" he growled at Karen, standing, grabbing for a pillow. He slammed the thing on Garth's head and then walked curtly from the room, fists clenched.
Aqualad held the pillow in his lap, grin fading as everyone's laughter ebbed. He looked at his leader, who raised her hands and shrugged, and then at the other Titans. They were all staring uneasily at the closing hydraulic doors.
"I… uh, I think we should be heading out," Robin said briefly, clearing his throat.
"Yeah," Beast Boy agreed, standing. "It's late."
The other three echoed similar sentiments and then were escorted down the hallway by Bee, who thanked them for coming over. Everyone knew that it wasn't very late, but the Western Titans obviously realized something was going to happen at the East Base and didn't want to be caught in any crossfire.
Garth wasn't even sure if he wanted to deal with the archer. When Karen came back into the main room, he barely opened his mouth before she shook her head.
"I have no idea either," she said. "Maybe he's just tired?"
"He woke up at noon, how could he—"
"You're right, he's genuinely irritated. And you get to go figure out why. Have fun," she said, sympathetic. "And don't piss him off any more; god knows we don't need that."
"Thanks for the support," Garth sighed, waving her off.
"Sorry," Karen shrugged, getting up to leave. "I think he's in his room."
Within five minutes, Garth was staring up at Roy's bedroom door, tentatively knocking. "Hey," Garth said through the door, "Open up. We need to talk."
And in an instant, the door was open. Roy seemed unexpectedly normal when he appeared, pulling on an old t-shirt, acting as if nothing had happened. "Yes?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. "What do we need to chat about?"
"Your explosion in the main room—what, did you forget?" When Roy feigned oblivion, Garth took a step to the right, zoning in on a random point in space. "This is a dumb game," he said, acting out the past with a lower voice than his own, "but I'll play anyway. I think Roy and I will never get together." He took a step to the left, facing the other direction, and raised his voice a few octaves. "Oh, I'm so insulted!" he whined, hands flailing. "I hate you! Bee, your game is crappy! Now I'll hit Garth in the face with a pillow and run away!"
Garth dropped his hands and turned back to Roy, whose expression had tightened. "Remember now?" the Atlantean asked. "The others left, just so you know. You scared them away. So, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Roy answered. "I'm just tired."
"Oh, right, like I believe that." He crossed his arms, shaking his head. "Really, what's up? You don't explode for no reason."
"There isn't a reason, Garth," was his answer, and then the door closed between them before the Atlantean could stop it.
"Roy!" Garth called, knocking on the door again. "By the Gods, unlock your door—you aren't tired, you're upset, but you're also being an idiot—"
There was no response from inside the room, just the sound of a faucet squeaking on and then the hushed splashing of water.
Garth raised a hand against the door and within seconds, droplets of water were wriggling through the edges, pushing the electronic door open far enough for him to squeeze past it. Roy appeared in the doorway to the adjoining bathroom, walking angrily toward him.
"Nothing's wrong!" the redhead barked, pushing him backward. "Get out of my room!"
But Garth shoved him back. "No! You're being juvenile—"
"And you're being a shitty teammate!" came the reply, accompanied by a hit that drove both boys to the floor, taking swings at each other while they wrestled.
Garth ended up with his back against the floor, blocking Roy's punches with water until he saw an opening and went for it, grabbing the archer's wrists and flipping him over. With a smirk of triumph, Garth wove a band of liquid around Roy's wrists and clambered away, almost out of reach until Roy landed a solid kick on his back, breaking his concentration and toppling him again.
Roy landed squarely on Garth's chest, knocking the wind from his lungs. And this time, the archer caught the motion of his hands and grabbed the pale wrists, holding them to the floor above the Atlantean's head.
Breathing hard in fury, Roy gritted his teeth. "Get out of my…" He stopped involuntarily; time seemed to freeze as the boys became aware of the tiny distance between them. "…of my room…" the archer finished, nearly inaudible even to Garth.
But the dark-haired prince didn't notice anyway; he was staring up at Roy in thought, and all at once the reason for the redhead's outburst dawned on him.
"Oh…" Garth said, very quietly, before he lifted his face to meet lips with Roy. The archer's mouth was warm, hesitant at first, moving gingerly against his own. Roy's hands released the captive wrists and, almost immediately, pale fingers were threaded among short red hair, a wordless demand for attention.
Roy complied, pressing him back against the carpeting with his kiss, aggressive for a moment before he jolted upright with an expression of panic. "Hell, Garth—"
"Roy—" the prince murmured, reaching for him as he rushed to his feet. Garth managed to grab the back of his shirt and yank him to the floor once more, putting a hand to his face to keep him still.
"What about what you said?" Roy breathed, a strange mix of confusion and relief across his features. "You said—"
"I thought you hated me," Garth shrugged with half a smile. "Now there's evidence to the contrary."
Roy guffawed in disbelief. "Contrary, my ass! You hated me!"
They stared at each other for a long minute before the redhead let show a crooked, unsure grin. "Least likely couple?" he asked, getting to his feet before extending a hand to Garth.
The Atlantean took the proffered hand, his fingers threading through Roy's. Leaving his hand to linger within the tan grip even after he was fully standing, he nodded his agreement with an unworried smile; "Least likely couple, absolutely."
Review or I might eaten by crusading guacamole bowls, wah!