Title: A Destiny That Refused to Die

Show: The L Word

Couple: Jenny/Niki

Rating:PG-13

Summary. This takes place after the end of Season 5, with the movie finally being completed. Jenny and Niki haven't spoken on a personal level in over a month, yet have made numerous appearances together to promote the movie. Niki is constantly trying to get through to Jenny, but has yet to break through Jenny's defences. Finally, as the movie is in the last stages of editing and is ready to be distributed, Niki makes one last attempt to talk to Jenny. This is how I see things going when the two women finally meet face to face.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, the characters are the property of Ilene Chaiken, Showtime Networks and Viacom Productions.

Author's notes: I just wanted to thank all the amazingly creative people who have put up videos of Jenny/Niki on YouTube, they helped me remember what a great couple these two were and helped motivate me into writing about them. So thank you.

Los Angeles.
Jenny's apartment.

Jenny stood outside on her balcony, blankly looking out at the hot summer sky, pondering yet another lonely night listening to music and thinking about what might've been.

A knock at her door elicits a slight bit of emotion from her, as guests have been few and far between since the movie had wrapped. She walked over to the door, opened it up and stood silent as she stared back at Niki.

Niki didn't waste any time, pushing her hand against the door before Jenny could slam it, 

"I know you probably want to close door on my face, again, but I really need you to listen to me, because I don't know how much more of this silent treatment I can take."

"How did you get up here? I told everyone in this building not to let you in." Jenny said angrily, still feeling the pain of Niki's betrayal.

Instead of waiting for Jenny to come to her senses, Niki pushed her way inside and stood in the middle of the room, "I'm not leaving until you hear me out. So why don't you just sit down and let me talk."

Jenny let out a sigh, glared at Niki for a couple minutes straight, before turning and slamming her door shut, "Fine. Talk. Do you really think you can explain away what you did with Shane?"

"I don't want to." Niki said, sliding her purse off her shoulder and setting it on the floor, "I've been trying to apologize for over a month and you refuse to listen. I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have been with Shane like that, but that was one moment of weakness, after you had said I was dead to you. Even since then, for over a month I've felt the pain of being locked out of your life, of being treated like I was less than human. I've never had a worse month in my life."

"I'm so sorry about that, but you brought it on yourself." Jenny said, refusing to feel guilty for what she'd done, "I'm surprised you aren't with Shane right now."

"See, this is what we've needed since that night." Niki said, almost smiling at Jenny's angry outburst, "For you to be mad, scream and yell, call me names, but for god sakes, just get it out so we can move on."

"We have moved on, or I have, I don't care what you do." Jenny said as emotionless as can be, "I've had relationships fail before, but never have I been hurt as much as seeing you with Shane. I've never loved anyone the way I loved you and the pain I've felt proves it. To say I was hurt seeing you like that with another woman is an insult, hurt doesn't begin to cover what I felt. Death is the closest thing I can think of that describes the pain and utter emptiness I felt and still feel to this day. I can see her between your legs so clearly it makes me want to…"

"I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would." Niki said, her beautiful face aching with pain, "I was so hurt that you said those things about me, just because I wanted to finish 

the movie for you, I just wanted to hurt you back and I'm so sorry that I did it. Nothing else happened between Shane and me and she feels just as guilty as I do. But, to do what you did for a month, that was over the top and I dare say a tad bit childish."

"I see." Jenny said with a disbelieving nod, "I didn't realize there was some script I should follow, because I've never felt like that before in my life. There is no way you can rationalize having sex with someone days after we broke up and to think you'd do it with one of my closest friends, that's just sick."

"I did not have sex, well not all of it, it was a mistake. Does it matter at all that I still love you? I've never stopped loving you this whole time. I can't." Niki declared as she pulled Jenny in close, "As mad as I was, as hurt as I was, I can't and I will never stop loving you. Whatever it takes, I'm going to make this up to you and we are going to be together and have the life we always talked about."

"Well, you've certainly developed a healthy confidence, but it's misplaced." Jenny said, ignoring Niki's emotional plea, "Do you know how hard it is to trust someone? I mean really trust them with everything, your heart, your soul, your life? That's how I felt with you from the moment we met. What is there without the trust? Nothing. We have nothing left. I can't trust you ever again."

"That's not true. You can trust me." Niki said, feeling a momentary chink in Jenny's armor, "Look, this was a horrible mistake and I'll regret it for the rest of my life, but I swear to you, that I would never ever do something like this again. I think you know that. I think that's what scares you. I think that's what this is all about."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jenny asked, shrugging off her claims with an eye roll.

"I always wondered why you got so mad at me and tried to cut me out of your life so fast. You didn't even give me a chance to explain why I stayed on the movie." Niki said, feeling like she'd just hit gold, "The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be like you were pushing me away. We got so close, we were so much in love and I think it scared you. I think that's why you wanted it to end. Not because you were afraid of us ending, you were afraid of us staying together forever. I think that terrifies you."

"That's a very nice little plot you've created in that guilty little head of yours, but it's not true." Jenny flatly denied, "Why would I fear a life with someone I love? That's ridiculous."

"It's not though." Niki said, shaking her head as she tried to make her point, "How many people have told you I'm too young and too immature and to worried about my career to ever settle down? I think you started believing that and it's you who created this as a way to do a pre-emptive strike, as it were. If you break up with me, then you can't be hurt, but I guess it didn't end up like that at all, did it?"

"Okay, I am not listening to this." Jenny said, covering her ears with her hands, "You were more than ready to hop in bed with Shane, so stop acting like I made that happen. The very fact you could move on from what we had so easily just makes me question how much you loved me to begin with."

"That's not fair and it sure hell isn't true and you know it." Niki snapped, visibly angered by Jenny's hurtful insinuation, "If you believe that, I'm leaving right now. I dare you to say it to my face. Tell me you think I didn't love you? Come one. Say it."

Jenny knew she couldn't and felt horrible she even said it to begin with, "You're right. That was uncalled for. I know you loved me, but we're still over."

Niki felt a momentary sense of relief and quickly tried to capitalize on it, "What can I do to make you give me another change? I'm not leaving until you do."

Laughing at Niki's bold claims, Jenny grabbed a bottle of wine from her counter and continued laughing all the way out on her balcony, "You do have a flare for the dramatics, I guess that's why you're such a great actress. If you want to stay here forever you're welcome to, but it's not going to change a thing."

"I will stay because this is where I want to be more than anything." Niki said, walking out to the balcony and sitting down beside Jenny, "How did the movie turn out? Once you got Adele out of the equation it must've been pretty smooth sailing."

"It's funny you mention Adele, because she told me you two kissed long before she stole the video of us, so I guess you just can't help yourself."

"Oh god. That is not how it happened." Niki I don't even know what happened. The lights went out and she kissed me and I thought it was you, but that's all it was. Don't you get it, I didn't even notice anyone else when I was with you. I only wanted you. 

Adele could've stripped naked and begged for it and I would've said no."

"I somehow doubt that." Jenny said with another disbelieving laugh, "She's a beautiful woman, a bitch sure, a liar to, but I doubt sincerely that you could turn her down if she made a naked plea to be with you. I wonder if I could, but that's another story."

"Well I could've. I still could, because I only want you." Niki declared boldly, "Still. A full month and I have not dated or kissed or even touched another woman because I believe with all my heart that we were meant to be together. I also believe that you feel the same, in spite of the hurt and pain I've caused you."

"Would you stop telling me how I feel. God I hate that." Jenny screamed, showing just a little more emotion than she intended, "I did want you and I thought we'd have an amazing life together, but that was just a dream. Reality brought be back to well, reality and I know longer believe in fairytale endings."

"Good, because I don't either, but I do believe in love and I believe in us. Never have I been more sure of us than after seeing you again after so long. Looking into your beautiful eyes and seeing that warm, caring soul of yours, I know you still love me. You can't hide it. This gives me hope again."

"Stop it right there." Jenny demanded, getting up from her chair as Niki smiled up at her, "I should never have let you in here. I knew this would happen. You'd bat your pretty eye lashes, flash that adorable smile and I'd melt, but I refuse to give in on this." Jenny turned and walked inside, headed straight for the door before turning and motioning at Niki, "Now, I think you should leave."

Niki put her feet up on the table and shook her head, "No. I don't think so."

"Niki. I asked you to leave."

"I know you did and I'm declining on the grounds that I love you and can't stand the idea of being away from you another second."

Jenny smiled inside, but kept her guard up, "Stop being a child and go."

"Um, no." Niki said, shaking her head now as she smiled sexily at Jenny, "Now why you don't close the door, come back out here and let me give you a massage. You look so tense. You know I have amazing fingers and I can you make you feel so good."

"Stop trying to seduce me." Jenny ordered, folding her arms over her chest, "I'm unseduceable right now."

Niki laughed, her beautiful face lighting up at Jenny's amusing reply, "That's not even a word, now get over and let me have a look at that pretty neck of yours."

Jenny closed the door and walked back out to the balcony and stood in front of Niki, "I can't do this. I can't fall for you again."

Niki jumped to her feet, put her hands over Jenny's sad face and kissed her softly on the lips. She kissed her long and deep, wrapping her arms around her as she savored Jenny's lips for the first time in over a month.

After kissing Niki back passionately for way longer than she realized, Jenny pulled back and ran into the living room, stomping her feet, "That wasn't fair. You can't just kiss me and think all is forgotten and forgiven."

Niki chased after Jenny, grabbing her in the middle of the room and holding her close, "Life isn't fair. It's not fair you said I was dead to you and it's not fair I made out with Shane, but what is fair, what we can control, is what we do about the now and right now I want to kiss you all night long."

"Oh Niki, I want to kiss you so much, but I'm so afraid of being hurt again, I just don't know if I can go through the pain of losing you again." Jenny sighed, lowering her head at the thought.

"No, that will never happen." Niki promised, holding Jenny in her arms and looking deep into her eyes, "What we had was perfect and maybe that was a curse, because nothing in life is perfect, but I still believe we can have an amazing life together, because I can't imagine loving anyone else as long as I live. You are the only one for me and I just hope that you feel the same way."

Jenny held onto Niki tightly, smiling at her as tears slid down her cheek, "I can't imagine being with anyone else either. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I've been holding onto the hope that one day we could work things out, but I was too afraid to try. I kept thinking that maybe I had pushed you away for too long. Maybe you had moved on. Maybe we'd never be together again. Now, as I hold you close and look at your beautiful face and feel the love in your eyes, I'm so happy you came here tonight."

"I had to. I really couldn't stand it any longer." Niki said with a slight laugh, "Are you ready to give us another shot? I need to know because I want to kiss you so badly right now."

"Yes, I'm ready to give us another try." Jenny said with a big smile, leaning in and kissing Niki's soft perfect lips, kissing her passionately, hoping like hell she wasn't dreaming.

The End.