Finding the Person Leon Likes

Sora perched on a counter and swung his legs, the rubber on the heels of his shoes making thunkthunk noises as they hit a cupboard door.

"Leon?"

Leon grunted. He was perched on a stool dismantling a toaster.

Sora asked his question timidly, still unsure of the boundaries between himself and Leon. "Are you and Yuffie, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Leon set down the screwdriver. "Where did you get that idea?"

Sora dared a peek through his bangs to try to see how pissed off the gunblade specialist was. "I dunno," he answered lamely. "I guess because she calls you by your real name." If Leon hadn't caught any of Yuffie's glances, then he wasn't going to enlighten him.

Leon scowled. "She never listens. But no, Yuffie and I have never dated." Considering the conversation finished, he returned his attention to the faulty heating coils.

"What about you and Aerith?" Sora pressed.

"No." Leon replied.

"Um... you and Tifa?"

Leon leveled a Look at Sora.

"Uh, yeah, she is kinda violent and scary," Sora ceded. Leon rolled his eyes in agreement and gave a short nod before lowering his gaze back down to the array of metal parts on the table.

"What happened to the toaster?"

"Merlin," Leon answered shortly.

"Oh."

Thunkthunkthunk.

"...Hey, Leon?"

"...Whuh?"

"What about Cloud?" Sora averted his eyes and bit his lip.

"What about Cloud?" The man returned blandly.

"Is he... I mean, have you... er, you know?"

"Dated?"

Sora almost fell off the counter when he realized that Leon's tone was mild rather than scary like he had expected it would be. "Um, yeah?" He affirmed tentatively.

"No."

Sora leaned forward, relieved that his interrogation could continue. "What about you and Ci-"

"Absolutely not." This time Leon's voice bordered on a growl.

"Oh. Okay then." Sora decided that now was a good time to stop prying Leon on this subject.

"I've only dated three people," Leon disclosed after several minutes of silence. Sora dared a peek at the stoic man, but Leon seemed to be occupied with the toaster components. "I've only had sex with two. And none of them are anyone you know."

Sora almost choked. "Er... okay?" He figured some sort of acknowledgment was in order.

Leon's head turned toward him enough to peer at Sora with one eye. "That is the information you were fishing for, right?"

Sora blushed and nodded.

There was a very long stretch of wordlessness. Sora quelled his usual fidgety-ness to the quiet activity of literally twiddling his thumbs. After all, he didn't want Leon to get mad and kick him out of his house.

He was very surprised when the next large movement was made by Leon when the man dropped his tools and turned his chair so he was facing Sora.

"Look," Leon began, uncomfortably; his eyes avoiding Sora's. "When a man and a woman--or, for that matter, a man and a man or a woman and a woman--find each other, uh, mutually attractive-"

Sora almost didn't interrupt. He was amused by his friend's obvious nervousness and intrigued by the slightest tinge of red in the man's cheeks. But, as always, compassion overruled. "Leon," he interrupted gently, "I already know about sex."

"Oh. Er, ahem. Good. I always hated giving that lecture." Leon fussed at his collar and armbands and even bent down to straighten the laces of his boots.

Sora smiled, careful that his friend wasn't able to see it. Despite keeping himself so emotionally distant from everyone around him, Sora knew Leon would interpret his smile as mockery and take it to heart. Leon being nervous was cute!

"I was asking because you always seem so lonely."

Leon was shocked by Sora's concern. He almost blurted a denial, that he was never lonely when Sora was around, but managed to stifle it. "I'm not," he countered instead, sitting up and looking expressionlessly at the teenager.

Sora remained silent, his blue, blue eyes focused precisely on Leon's. But Leon was the master at staring contests. ...Until the guileless liquid eyes turned something in Leon's chest to mush. His gaze averted. "I'm not..." He didn't realize that his voice balanced on the edge of petulance.

He was. Leon knew it; knew that however resigned he was to celibacy and however much space he liked to keep between himself and others, that there was a part of him that longed for human contact and unconditional acceptance, and partnerships and relationships, and even (though he hated to admit this particular romantic weakness to himself) love.

"Leon?"

Relieved by Sora's interruption of his thoughts, Leon looked up.

"Why don't you date?"

"Who would I date?" Leon diverted.

Sora thought. "We know a lot of people at Radiant Garden! There must be somebody you are interested in!"

Leon shook his head. "It wouldn't be appropriate."

"What wouldn't?" Sora asked, eager yet uncomprehending.

Leon ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Certain... relationships just aren't accepted by society."

"So there is someone you like!" Sora yelled triumphantly. Then the rest of what Leon had said sunk in and Sora made a face in response. "So you won't even try to get together with this person because some people might not like it? Even if the person you wanted liked you back? Leon! If you want a happy ending you've gotta take risks to get it!"

Leon stood and turned away. "There are no 'happy endings.'" He felt guilty about disillusioning the kid; though surely most 16-year-olds were at least that jaded and cynical about life and love. Sora had always been different from most of his peers: unburdened with optimism and amazingly blind to things that were regarded as impossible by common consensus.

He felt a hand on his arm. "I'm gonna find the perfect person for you, Leon! Just give me a little time. How 'bout, um... you being at the cafe at ten tomorrow morning? I'll get him or her to meet you there!" With no time for Leon to protest, the hand was gone and the front door slamming shut.

Leon frowned and fought the urge to swear.

That evening Sora 'boarded around town, looking for people.

"Cloud! Hey! Clououd!"

The man stopped pacing and looked up, his face serious as always. "Sora." His greeting was as unenthusiastic as usual.

"Cloud! You're not dating anyone, right?"

Startled by this question, Cloud's eyebrows lifted. He shook his head.

"Well, I know someone who wants to go out with you!"

The blond grumbled. "If it's Tifa, thanks, but I already know."

"It isn't Tifa. Um... are you-" the rest of Sora's question was an unintelligible mumble, as he couldn't really believe that he was asking Cloud such a personal question.

"Am I what? Interested in a blind date? No."

"Er... interested in guys," Sora persevered, extremely proud of his bravery.

Cloud gave him an odd look. "Sora, who are you trying to set me up with?"

Sora ducked his head. "Leon," he murmured.

Cloud gave a rough laugh. "Leon is letting you fix him up on a blind date?" Sora was about to nod, but the swordsman continued. "Let's just say... I'm not his type, okay?"

"What's his type then?" Sora asked excitedly. "Because that kind of information would be really helpful!"

Cloud gave him an odd look and an even odder smile. Sora had never seen Cloud smile before, and though the corners of his lips were barely turned up, Sora could discern a tiny gleam in his eyes.

"Hmm..." Sora waited while Cloud looked at him. "Brunettes? Yeah, brunettes. Leon's not interested in blonds."

Sora grinned. There were lots of brunettes around. "Thanks Cloud!" He waved and 'boarded off.

Cloud shook his head in disbelief and wry amusement.

The next familiar face Sora encountered was Aerith.

"Good evening, Aerith," he greeted politely.

"Hello Sora. What are you doing wandering around? It looks like something important."

"It is!" Sora cried proudly. "I'm trying to find someone."

"Who?"

"Somebody with brown hair."

"Any one in particular? Yuffie's at Merlin's, and I think Leon's either in the control room or at home."

Sora shook his head. "Cloud told me that Leon likes brunettes. I'm trying to find one to go on a date with Leon."

Aerith, like Cloud had been, was surprised. "Does Leon know what you are doing?"

"Yup! I promised that I would find him someone to meet at the cafe tomorrow."

"Why did you promise? Did Leon ask you to help him?"

Sora shook his head. "No. But I can tell that he doesn't really want to be single. He's lonely."

"Sora," Aerith inquired gently, "Did Leon tell you why he is lonely? Why he doesn't have a partner?"

The teenager frowned and tried to remember what Leon had said. "B'cause... certain kinds of relationships aren't accepted? I think that's what he said."

Aerith tapped a finger to her lips and thought. "While that may be true, I don't think that that is the main reason. Do you think Leon cares that much about other people's impressions of him?"

Sora mused on that for a minute. "I think he does care about what his friends think," he began answering slowly, "But Leon doesn't really mind if other people don't like him. He ignored that one lady when she yelled at him for being rude; and when this one guy threatened him over something, Leon just glared at him and walked away." He looked at Aerith in curiosity. "So what do you think is the real reason?"

Aerith was quiet. "I think that Leon does like somebody that way."

"Why doesn't he just tell that person?!" Sora demanded.

"I think that Leon's been hurt before. Maybe someone he loved didn't love him back, and that's why he's scared to admit his feelings; he doesn't want to be rejected. It's also likely that he lost someone special to him when the Heartless took his world. If you've known happiness and love, and it was ripped away from you, might'nt you be afraid to try to love someone again?"

"But surely everyone wants to be loved enough to risk that?" Sora opined. "If you keep being afraid of what might happen, and don't let yourself have friends or be with the people you want to be with, isn't that worse than losing anybody?"

"Some people don't agree with that, Sora."

Sora pondered that. He guessed that it made an unfortunate sort of logic. "That's sad."

Aerith agreed then shifted the subject. "Yes, it is sad. So, Sora, do you have any idea who Leon likes?"

Sora shook his head. "No. And all Cloud said was that Leon likes people with brown hair. Hey," a thought occurred to him, "Do you think that Leon likes you?"

The woman's laugh was quiet but musical. "No. I think that whoever Leon likes is someone that balances his personality. He and I are both quiet and calm, so he may prefer someone boisterous and energetic."

A lightbulb could have winked on over Sora's head. "Oh! I know!"

Aerith smiled.

"Yuffie! She was the first one I thought of! Thanks, Aerith!"

Aerith watched him race down the street on his skateboard. She shook her head in amusement and chuckled.

The door was pushed open so hard that it hit the wall. "Yu-ffeee!"

Cid knocked over his coffee and opened his mouth to curse. Yuffie, seeing who the intruder was, slapped both hands over his mouth. "Mind your language in front of the child, Cid!" She scolded teasingly.

"I'm not a child!' Sora countered.

Cid tried to nod in agreement, but the ninja's arms were wrapped around his head. His hands tore her grip loose. "Get off'a me, woman!"

Yuffie ignored him. "Hey Sora! What's up?"

"Yuffie, I think Leon likes you! Do you want to meet him for a date on Saturday?"

The girl tried her best not to laugh but failed horribly. "Hoo-hoo-ha! Leon likes me! That's a good one, Sora!" She giggled and snorted.

Sora looked cluelessly at Cid. "Huh?"

Cid tossed away the straw he'd been chewing on, broken when Yuffie had attacked him. "What ever gave you that idea, kid?"

Sora pouted. He had been sure that he had solved the mystery. "Cloud said that Leon liked brunettes, and then Aerith told me that Leon probably liked someone with a different personality than his."

Yuffie wiped her eyes and managed to gasp, "One- little- problem..." Then dissolved into laughter again. Sora's attention swiveled back to Cid.

"In this case, Leon ain't interested in any girl. Y'follow?" Cid clarified for the puzzled-looking teen.

Sora scratched his head. "So... the person Leon likes is a guy?"

Cid nodded. "That gonna be a problem for you? You ain't one of those folks that think queers are bad?"

Sora frowned and put his fists on his hips. "That's not a nice word, Cid!"

The man waved his comment off. "Answer me, boy."

"No! I'm not like that. Not one of those... homophones."

Yuffie, who had finally been quieting down, giggled again. "Homophobes," she corrected.

Sora shrugged. "Whatever." An idea came to him and he frowned. "Hey, you two act like you already know who it is that Leon likes!"

Yuffie and Cid exchanged a glance. "Well it is kind of obvious," she stated.

Sora's frown deepened. "Who?!" He demanded. His friends shared another look, before Yuffie walked over and patted Sora on the shoulder.

"Hey. Why don't you just tell Leon that you couldn't figure it out," she advised. "And ask him to tell you who he likes, okay?"

Sora was so disappointed that he started to feel tears threatening. He sniffed. "But I promised! I told him I'd have someone meet him tomorrow at the cafe for a date!"

Again, Cid and Yuffie made eye contact, but Sora was too distressed to notice. Yuffie wrapped Sora in a friendly hug. "You'll just have to meet him at the cafe, okay?"

"Huh?" Sora rubbed at his eyes. "You want me to show up and be his date?"

"You hang out Leon most of the time, anyway, right?"

"Yuffie..." Cid growled warningly.

Sora didn't notice the interjection. "Y-yeah..."

"So who would Leon be happier to see tomorrow than you?" She gave him a thump on the back and released him.

"But he'll be expecting the person--man, I mean, that he likes!"

Yuffie cocked one hip and crossed her arms. Sora could tell she was annoyed for some reason. The ninja blew her bangs away from her forehead. "Listen. Who does Leon like to spend time with?"

Sora pondered. "You and Cid, and-"

She interrupted him. "Likes to spend time with! When he's not doing committee work or fighting Heartless and Nobodies."

"Just, just me, I guess..."

"Exactly! Leon li-"

"Yuffie," Cid growled, rising from his chair.

She whirled around to face him. "What is it, old man?"

He ignored her and walked up to Sora. "Go home, kid. Stop worrying about it. Just go meet him tomorrow an' tell him that you couldn't figure out what brown-haired, chatterbox male Leon knows." The man practically pushed Sora out the door.

Sora did as Cid had told him and went home. But he couldn't follow the man's other piece of advice and stop worrying. His mind clung to the question of "Who?"

As he debated over the very few possibilities, Sora noticed an uncomfortable feeling growing in his stomach. He ignored it, and tried to imagine Leon and the girly guy who sometimes worked at Radiant Garden's accessories shop talking, sitting with each other, or hugging. He couldn't see it. Or Leon kissing that big, beefy stonemason who helped out the Restoration Committee. Sora found that particular thought sickening, and the gnawing sensation in his gut spread up to his chest.

Sora staggered to bed, feeling tears on his face. He'd failed finding Leon a date; that was bad. But he also had the traitorous feeling of relief that he may have prevented his friend from starting a relationship with any of those nameless brunettes.

Under the covers, curled tightly around a plushie, Sora thought of Leon until he fell asleep.

Sora abruptly woke up in the middle of the night, startled out of guilty but pleasurable dreams.

"Holey ship!" He cursed before covering his mouth and looking self-consciously around. "Oh, no-no-no-no-no!" He muttered.

He did not just dream that! He was dirty and disgusting and... and... a bad friend.

Sora pulled up the covers it seemed he had twisted and kicked out of. He shivered as he huddled beneath them. Oh, God. He felt sick; dreaming things like that about one of his best friends. He had promised that he would find Leon's... person. Boyfriend, lover, soulmate--whatever that brown-haired mystery man was to Leon.

Sora only then realized that he himself had brown hair. And that he was noisy where Leon was quiet. And that he, ahem, had... man-parts. Boy-parts, really, Sora admitted ruefully to himself, having learned several years ago that "adolescence is the stage of becoming a man" and knowing that his body was being unfairly slow to ripen. Those thoughts were what stopped the hope he had started to allow himself to feel. Leon obviously wanted another man; someone as intelligent and handsome and mature as Leon wouldn't want a gawky teenager who hardly had any hair in those places and still had baby pudge in other places.

Sora's stupid body looked more like he was twelve instead of sixteen. He didn't usually care, except for the increasingly frequent times of sexual desire and random boners. Being the Keyblade Bearer, Sora had more important things on his mind.

But now it was as if a door had been opened in his mind. Sora had dreamt that Leon was looking at him and touching him, and those looks were deep and heated and those touches soft and tender. Leon had hugged him, in Sora's dream, and it had been familiar but different from the very few hugs Sora had gotten (usually initiated) from the man: he had felt embraced by leather and strength, desired and cherished, wrapped up safer than he'd ever felt before in Leon's arms.

Sora felt hollow. His heart struggled to beat, and his eyes stung. His skin ached and yearned.

Oh, God, he thought again. How was he going to face Leon tomorrow?

Finding himself unable to sleep and face more guilty and pleasurable dreams, Sora decided to take a walk through the benighted town until his head cleared.

Leon still wasn't sure why he was sitting in the cafe waiting for a blind date. His best guess was that it was because Sora had been so earnest about helping Leon not be lonely. If Leon had neglected to show up for the unveiling of Sora's careful efforts, the boy would have been crushed.

That conscientiousness was unusual for Leon. He normally didn't care about other's expectations of him. But Sora was different. Sora had always been different.

He'd felt sorry for the kid at first. Such a burden had been forced upon him at such a young age. But unexpectedly the boy's optimism and friendliness had grown on him. And eventually... Eventually, Leon started having thoughts.

Leon supposed that it would be good for him to move on. He was supposed to be a man of action and snap decisions; utterly reliable in crises and dependable for the long haul. Sora had changed that, because recently Leon's rational decisions had been preceded by irrational fears for the teenager's safety and feelings. Squall would have been mortified and even disgusted at that priority shift, but it had seemed like a natural progression for Leon's emotions and concerns.

He knew that something had to be done about his unnatural and unrequited longings for Sora. Maybe becoming involved with someone (anyone) else would do the trick. And if he ended up dating whoever Sora had personally chosen... well, Sora would be happy.

Leon reminisced and made these resolutions while staring broodingly at the glass of water the waiter had placed on the table. He was pulled from his thoughts when his watch beeped. It was ten minutes past ten o'clock, and Leon had promised himself that he would stick around no later than that. He started to stand, strengthened by the thought that he had played his part in Sora's scheme even if it had amounted to nothing, when a figure standing just inside the cafe door caught his eye.

It was Sora and he looked miserable.

Leon left a couple gil on the table in apology for wasting the waiter's time and strode to the entrance. "You okay?" He asked his friend.

Sora started to nod, but shook his head instead. "I'm sorry. I didn't find-"

Heart wringing at the sad and fearful tone in Sora's voice, Leon interrupted him. "It's fine. Let's go home." He wrapped an arm around the teenager and steered him towards his house.

Through a haze of exhaustion and a glaze of unshed tears at Leon's kindness, Sora didn't realize that 'home' had meant Leon's until he was placed on the couch and wrapped in a blanket.

He half-emerged from his trance. "Huh? Why am I here?"

Leon crouched on the floor in front of him. "You're not in good shape." Sora closed his eyes and felt the impossible sensation of a hand brushing his bangs out of the way and feeling his forehead. "What happened?" The voice from the darkness held such tenderness and concern that Sora poured out all that was in him, starting with his failure to keep his promise to Leon and ending with his dream and how he had walked around town all night in the chilly air. When his mind finally engaged with reality again, he found himself clinging to Leon's shirt saying, "Sorry, sorry," over and over again.

Sora was beyond embarrassed, even through the haze of weariness and the muddle-headedness of being ill and the pounding headache of crying. It was all he could focus on; his endless apologies ceased and his sobs devolved into gasps. When his senses expanded to include his surroundings he saw the predictable mess of salt and snot and saliva on Leon's shirt, heard wordlessly comforting murmurings, and felt hands stroking his back and hair.

Sora tried to apologize one more time, sincerely and mindfully, with humility and regret, but he was shushed and gently guided into lying down and told to sleep.

Leon sat on his living room floor and watched the unconscious Sora breathe. The kid looked as horrible as Leon felt. He was ashamed of whatever he had put this boy through; whatever impossible standards he had unwittingly set that had made his young friend wear himself out trying to achieve; the onus of responsibility Leon hadn't helped to lighten; the admirable yet inconceivable depths this child would go to for those he called friends.

His shame was not even alleviated by Sora's half-comprehensable admission of attraction to Leon--from what he had gleaned, it had been something upsetting and undesirable, and Leon cursed himself for somehow poisoning Sora's soul with his own immoral lusts. He had thought he had been so careful in hiding it!

Leon was used to feeling repentant; after all, he forewent the use of his own name in atonement. But this guilt lay strangely on his shoulders. It was tinged with frustration and longing. While he was angry and disgusted with himself, a significant part of him cried out that he deserved something good and wonderful and true. Gods; he wanted to have happiness; he had earned just a little bit, hadn't he?

The turmoil in Leon's mind and conscience bowed his head until his face was buried in his hands.

"I'm really sorry, Leon."

A small voice interrupted his misery.

"Sora. There's nothing for you to be sorry about." Leon replied somewhat gruffly.

He heard the brunettes cough weakly. "Just tell me who it is. I'll find them and talk to them for you!" Leon's heart ached.

"Why?" He lifted his head and stared intently at Sora. "Why are you persisting in this? Besides, you're ill; you shouldn't be worried about me."

"Leon..." His name was uttered in a voice that held exasperation and affection and a number of other things that Leon couldn't and didn't want to name. The gunblade specialist watched as his friend seemed to struggle with words. Finally Sora settled on, "You're an idiot." His hand rose and waved vaguely before dropping back down.

A snort of humor erupted from Leon at the entirely unexpected accusation. Knots in his body loosened a fraction and he sat straight. "Oh? How so?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "How old are you, Leon?"

"Twenty-five."

"And I'm sixteen. I haven't even dated, but it's like I know more about relationships than you do!"

Their nine-year age difference laid out so plainly spurred a quick stabbing pain, gone before he could even wince. Leon recovered, and raised an eyebrow in mild curiosity to Sora's outburst. "What do you know that I don't, O Sage One?"

Sora pulled a face at Leon's facetiousness. "People need other people to be happy, Leon. And everyone deserves to be happy. If what would make you happy is having a specific person in your life, you should try to make it happen. No matter the risks."

Leon was moved by Sora's cheerfully positive view of human nature. He didn't want to disillusion the kid, but...

"Everyone deserves to be happy, Sora?," Leon asked. "What about Xehanort? What about Sephiroth? Do people who want to hurt and destroy deserve happiness, too? At the expense of others? What if a man wants things that he shouldn't want; does he deserve it? Some people don't deserve happiness."

Sora flapped his hand like he was physically shooing away Leon's concerns. "I think that loving someone and being loved back is real happiness. If somebody loves you, then everything else that is good will follow!"

"You're a romantic." Leon's statement wasn't quite an insult, but his tone blatantly dismissed Sora's theory. Leon had loved, had been loved back, but disaster had occurred despite that.

"So what?!" Sora demanded and propped his upper body up with his elbows. "I think you need to be more of a romantic yourself!"

Leon only concession was a shrug before he chided Sora. "You should be resting."

"I feel better!" Sora asserted right before sneezing.

Leon stood and tucked the blanket back around the boy's shoulders. "Sure sounds like it."

Sora pouted, and the sight made Leon ache. He turned away, drew a couple deep breaths, then said, "I'll make some tea."

"Can't I have hot chocolate instead?" Sora whined. "With marshmallows?" Leon couldn't resist turning around. Large blue eyes gazed up entreatingly at him.

He felt a renewed wave of shame ripple through him. He had feelings for a boy who still drank hot chocolate with marshmallows! "...Of course," he answered quietly.

Leon had insisted that Sora sleep at his house. Sora had insisted that he would sleep on the couch. Leon gave in because he was feeling the need to isolate himself for a while.

All prepared to go to bed, Leon finally closed his bedroom door behind him with a sense of relief. The emotions and desires that had plagued him for months had gained strength today when Sora was helpless and distraught and needed care, and had encouraged him to touch and stroke and murmur. Thankfully, Leon had enough willpower to limit himself once Sora had gained coherence and awareness of his surroundings.

Temptation. That was what Sora was to Leon. Temptation and the lure of the blissful forbidden wrapped up in soft skin, ingenuous eyes, and sincerity. Incredibly artless at hiding his feelings and reactions in a way that made Leon want to ravish him and discover what Sora looked like in the midst of passion--how his body would arch and his face would burn-- and hear the music of the teen's gasps and whimpers; feel the roughness of his voice laden with need reverberate in his belly.

Leon opened his eyes. He was panting. His hands were clenched into fists that wanted to tear open the door or, at least, yearned to touch himself and let him lose himself in fantasy. But Leon forbid it; as depraved as he was in his hunger, he refused to lower himself to the level of a masturbating pervert with Sora in the next room.

He lay in bed. Even the weight of the bedcovers felt too intimate in his excited state, so he threw them off. Steering his thoughts in neutral directions, it still took Leon a long time to sink into sleep.

The creak of the door roused Leon from unconsciousness. Senses alert, he heard the footsteps of the intruder before a hand fell on his chest.

"Leon." A whisper. Fingers stroked boldly. "Leon."

He opened his eyes. The room was dark, but his keen eyes picked out a silhouette. "What is it?" Leon noted that his voice was husky and flinched. "Sora? Do you need something?"

There was silence. Fingers plucked at his shirt. Apprehension? Leon felt too groggy to rightfully tell.

"Yes. Leon." An answer was given determinedly and disjointedly. The was the silence of hesitation that the man didn't want to interrupt, then, "Leon..." His name repeated hoarsely, in a way that made Leon's skin prickle in reaction.

He tried to regain control of himself. "What?"

There was sudden and inexplicable light, just enough illumination for Leon to make out the shine of tears in sapphire eyes and a strained expression on Sora's face. "I-I need-" The admission was halting and broken off. Against his better judgement, Leon sat up and pulled his friend close. The look in those eyes was haunting and painful, and Leon knew he would do anything to mend whatever was hurting Sora.

The boy--soft and slender and fragile--collapsed into Leon's lap and buried his face in Leon's neck. Leon was at a loss; there wasn't any reaction he could make besides wrapping his arms around Sora and offering more comfort. And that was very dangerous territory. Despite his own warning thoughts, Leon's arms came up and embraced.

There were whimpers and some wiggling as Sora pressed even harder against Leon.

"What do you need?"One of Leon's hands lifted to stroke messy brown hair. Sora squirmed until his face, beautiful and desolate, came into view inches away from Leon's own.

"You," the boy whispered, before lifting his chin in an invitation that Leon could not resist.

Leon kissed Sora.

This time, the knock that awakened Leon was real. He sat up instantly, though his mind took a couple seconds to figure out what was dream and what was real.

"Gods," Leon groaned. He rubbed his forehead with a palm and, finding himself slightly damp with sweat, ran it through his hair.

"Leon?" Sora was knocking on his bedroom door.

"What?!" Leon's response was a growl tempered with frustration and annoyance and deep disappointment.

"Can I come in?"

Leon sat up and looked around. There was a prominent lump in his shorts. "No. Don't come in. What do you need, Sora?" There was a disorienting sense of deja vu as he asked that; he realized that he had asked a similar question in his dream.

Leon heard the thump of something hitting the door softly. "Please? I have to tell you something."

"Can't it wait until morning?" Leon knew he was too horny and tired to deal with whatever confession Sora felt that he needed to make.

"No." The boy's voice was petulant.

Sighing, the man turned on the small bedside lamp and pulled the covers up to cover himself. "Fine. Come in."

Sora entered hesitantly. Leon sounded grumpy. Of course, it was really early in the morning and he had just woken him up. But Sora had decided that he needed to tell Leon what had happened the previous night. Even if the news made Leon really, really mad. "Leon? I want-" Sora's ability to speak left him as he stepped fully into the bedroom. The air smelled... heavy. The brunet wasn't sure what the smell was, but it smelled like Leon, only concentrated, and he liked it. And then he saw Leon sitting up in bed: cheeks slightly pink, hair disheveled, chin lightly stubbled. Oh god. Sora felt his knees turn watery and body heat up.

That unfinished statement rattled Leon, being so like what had been said in his dream. Leon's alarm morphed into concern when Sora stumbled. "Sora?" Despite his erection, he leapt from the camouflage of his bed and hurried to support the teen. The boy looked like he was about to collapse. Leon steered him to his bed and made him sit. Crouching in front of him, he brushed Sora's hair from his eyes.

Leon's hand felt cool against Sora's face. Sora felt so... so, heated; he wanted Leon to run his hands down his body, cooling his skin while igniting fires under it. The thought made him whimper audibly and his eyelids flickered.

"What's wrong? Should I take you to a doctor?" Leon's concern was approaching panic. "Sora!" He shook him by the shoulders.

His friend's ministrations shook some sense back into Sora. He opened his eyes and tried to push away the fog that was taking over his mind. "Leon? No, I'm fine." He cut off the man's protests. "I just wanted to tell you that I," the words were coming out surprisingly easy. "I-." He faltered. Dammit. He changed tacks. "Leon, who is it that you like? Please tell me."

A hand pushed itself roughly through Leon's hair. He exhaled, feeling tired and defeated. Sora just wouldn't let it go! Even though it was stressing him and making him ill. Leon wondered bleakly if telling Sora the truth wouldn't actually be better than stalling or lying. At least then Sora could go through the reactions of disgust and anger and betrayal and finally move on. Even though it would obviously mean avoiding each other like the plague.

Defeat, definitely. That was what Leon was experiencing. He exhaled harshly, feeling drained and weak, like he had been battling for hours and the last of his strength was sapped away. "You, Sora." He forced himself to look directly into his friend's--soon to be former-friend's--eyes. "You." His courage failed, and he stared at the carpet. "I'm sorry, and I know that I'm a horrible pervert, and I know that-"

"Leon."

Sora's voice didn't sound disgusted. Leon was puzzled. Hadn't he just admitted...

"Leon." Sora's voice was firm. Leon felt a hand brush his cheek uncertainly, leave, then settle firmly under his chin and pull his gaze up.

Embarrassed blue eyes met fearful and uncertain grey ones. Leon watched the blue heat up and Sora's face settle into resolve. "You're going to have to kiss me, Leon. I haven't done it before."

Leon blinked. His expression would have been similar if he had just been smacked with a fish. Sora made a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes. "Idiot!" He huffed, smiling. "Fine. Just don't get upset if our first kiss is bad." Then he pressed his lips against Leon's.

Sora was kissing Leon. The man's thought processes kicked back in, followed and overpowered quickly by his libido.

"Uh! Mmmm..." Sora's sound of surprise melted into one of contentment. Leon swallowed the moan, opening his mouth and feeling Sora's lips part for his tongue. Leon could taste Sora, and it was better than he'd thought it would be; sweet and warm. Sora buried his fingers in the man's hair and set about trying to follow the movements of Leon's mouth that were so good that Sora wanted to memorize them, every lick and nip, so that he would be able to please Leon too. All too soon, Sora had to pull back to catch his breath. Leon, it seemed, did not have the same need--the man just moved his lips to Sora's jaw and neck.

The brunet teenager sighed in pleasure. "Leon..."

Leon sat up, still on his knees on his bedroom floor. "Hmm?" He murmured, brushing the soft stray hairs on Sora's temples. Sora felt like he could melt from the way Leon was looking at him. Grey-blue eyes were softer than he could ever have imagined, lines of tension missing that Sora hadn't realized his friend had had until this moment. Is this what Leon looks like when he's happy? The boy felt heat pass through his body like a wave: he couldn't help but be proud yet humble that he was responsible for this change in Leon.

"Sora. What it is, Sora?" Leon intentionally repeated the teen's name. The word was different now; he had the privilege of uttering it a thousand individual ways that no one else was entitled to saying it. Already, he thought that this was his favorite: a low half-croon with a tenderness that Leon hadn't felt for anything in ages. He felt like he could keep on saying it forever.

Sora didn't remember saying anything. He could've declared the meaning of life a minute ago, and that expression of Leon's would have wiped his mind clean.

"Are you happy?" The question bubbled up without Sora summoning it.

The man abruptly stopped his soothing ministrations. "Are you happy?" Leon voiced the inquiry back at him with more concern and something that Sora could almost recognize as fear.

Sora needed less than a second to come up with his answer. "Yes," he said firmly. He wrapped his arms around Leon's neck and buried his head in the hollow between jaw and collarbone. "I didn't know how much I needed you to be happy until just now, Leon," he confessed. He felt a hand press against his head, supporting it gently, and the other rubbing his back.

He had never thought that Leon's hands could be so gentle.

Leon's voice was bordering on hoarse when he replied, "I've known for a long time that I needed you to be happy. I didn't think it would happen."

Sora pulled away, confused and dismayed. "Didn't think what would happen?"

Leon's eyes were clear and certain. "Never thought that you would want me. I'm not-" He wasn't able to complete the sentence as a hand, calloused yet soft and pliant, covered his mouth.

"You're perfect, Leon!" Sora's eyes shone brightly as he mock-scolded only to dim slightly when he admitted, "I don't understand why you want me. I'm not tall or strong like you-" This time, Sora was cut off as Leon gently pulled his mouth free of Sora's hand.

"You're kind and thoughtful, friendly and cheerful. You fight for what you know is right and stand up for your friends even when it puts you in danger. How could I not want you?" Leon pulled the teen into another embrace.

Sora wasn't quite satisfied with Leon's answer. "But... my body..." he protested, feeling ashamed because he just knew that he wasn't close to being as good-looking as Leon undoubtedly was.

"I didn't fall in love with you because of how you look," Leon admonished. "Though I do love your eyes and how soft your skin is." He turned his head just enough to brush a kiss against Sora's neck and felt the boy shiver in his arms. "The rest of you will be perfect simply because it's you."

Sora snorted. "That was sappy. I never imagined you could be sappy, Leon!"

Leon disengaged so he could look at Sora, one eyebrow cocked. "I guess you just make me sappy, then, because it's the truth."

Sora found himself blushing and averting his gaze. "Geez, Leon," he muttered, not understanding why he was feeling embarrassed.

Leon sighed and regretfully placed his hand on Sora's knees to lever himself up. "Alright. Enough sappiness then. Go back to bed." He put one foot flat on the floor and prepared to stand.

Sora whined. "Leon! We just told each other that we love each other, and now you're shooing me back to the couch?" He tried to make his best sad puppy-dog expression.

"What did you expect?" Leon stood and frowned slightly. "I didn't plan on saying 'I love you' and immediately hopping into bed with you."

"Why not?" Sora asked half-coy and half-puzzled.

"Because," Leon sighed, -you're too young, I'm too old, what will people say? "-I don't want you to think that I'm an old pervert who just wants sex."

Sora stood and vehemently put his hands on his hips. "You're not old! And I know you want sex!"

Leon glared half-heartedly. Here he was, doing the noble thing and resisting temptation, and the brat was challenging him? He almost blurted out a demand to know how Sora 'knew' that he wanted sex before remembering that his erection had hardly flagged and had been just a little under Sora's eye-height only a moment ago. His glare ended as shame took over. He managed to just prevent his hands from hiding the evidence. Only just. "Um..." He couldn't think of a word to say.

Sora grinned at Leon's obvious discomfort. He stood up and stood close to Leon--very close, and barely touching--and stood on tiptoe to whisper in the man's ear. "C'mon, Leon. You want me." Sora bit his lip then added, "I want you." He blushed (he had never imagined himself being so naughty), but knew the other couldn't see his face. Sora watched, sidelong, as Leon's eyelids drooped and sensed the shudder running through the man's body.

"Fuck," Leon swore as his self-control was swept away by desire. He pushed Sora so that the teen fell onto the bed behind him. The sight of his friend sprawled wide-eyed in startlement cooled his lust enough for him to wrangle himself back under control. "You shouldn't do that," Leon warned as he stumbled backward, anxiety and relief coloring his voice. He forced himself to turn his back to the vision of Sora lying across his bed.

"Why not? It was fun!" remarked Sora in a light tone. He watched Leon's back stiffen at his response and smirked. He had never enjoyed teasing Leon more.

Actually, Sora had felt a flash of panic as Leon had sworn and turned on him, but the fact that the man had regained control gave him no small measure of security that Leon really did not just want to take. Sora knew that his faith in the man he loved was justified.

The man he loved... Heat flooded his body, just as it had when Sora had first entered the room. Lust. Now the teen knew the feeling for what it truly was. Running his eyes over his friend, dressed in a tank top and shorts, he understood the meaning of the term. Like it was spring-loaded, his penis shot up. His lower belly turned into an aching, wanting mass. He wanted Leon to touch him. Oh, gods, did he want Leon to touch him. But how was he going to convince the reluctant man?

Sora got an idea.

Leon had almost managed to wipe that image of temptation from his mind when he heard Sora call him. "Leon." His name was more than a moan than a word. He whipped around in concern and-

-and encountered a vision that he had never let himself imagine before. Okay, that was a lie; Leon had envisioned this scenario, but only with much guilt.

Sora was still lying on the bed. Spread out. Legs parted. Stroking himself through his shorts.

"Grgh." Whatever Leon had been about to say came out as a vowel-less exhale.

"Le-on," the boy moaned again, the word punctuated by a gasp. "C'mere." He held out his hand. Leon eyed it warily; it was the one Sora had been using to- er... Yeah. "Come on," the teen demanded, wriggling his fingers. Woodenly, Leon obeyed. He stepped forward and offered a hand--and found himself pulled down on top of Sora.

"So-" he gasped. Sora's eyes widened and he smiled widely. He had made Leon gasp! He hadn't known it was possible, before.

"We don't have to fuck," he reasoned, feeling wicked and dirty as he used that bad word. He liked it; liked the harsh sound of it and the sensation of feeling wicked and dirty. Leon's eyes were right above his, an amazing coincidence of positioning and physics. Sora lifted his head enough for his lips to touch Leon's and he coaxed a kiss from the other's mouth.

As if a switch had been thrown, Leon responded. He straddled Sora and put all his weight on his knees. He thrust his tongue into that heated mouth and wrung out passionate noises. One hand held a slender wrist against the mattress and the other explored, insinuating itself under Sora's shirt.

Sora writhed. Fingers and lips and tongue were devouring him; touching him and stroking him like, like...

A thumb pressed against a nipple. Sora gave up trying to think of anything coherent, his mind stuttering on fragmented monosyllabic words consisting mainly of, "oh" and "want" and "good." He gave up trying to match the frenzied pace Leon was setting; just buried his fingers in brown hair and hung on, not so much making encouraging noises as passively allowing them to bubble up and escape. Sora heard the incoherent grunts and huffs he was making and knew that those sounds probably weren't very pretty, but didn't care enough to stifle them. ...Until he squeaked.

Leon raised himself onto his elbows and studied Sora's face, unsure of the meaning behind the noise. "Was that a squeak?"

Sora knew his eyes were wide. He was so embarrassed! The burning of his cheeks didn't have anything to do with lust. "Um... no?"

He was relieved when Leon's expression softened into perplexed amusement. "What made you squeak?" The man asked.

Sora refused to answer. That admission would certainly cause Leon to change his mind (again!) about doing this.

"C'mon," the scarred man coaxed with a small smile. Sora was amazed to realize that the taciturn man was teasing him! He began to idly wonder whether he had been dropped into an alternate reality, until Leon's hand sliding against the tender skin of his side swept all thoughts away. "Was it this?" The gunblader inquired. "Or this?" The man licked a trail along Sora's throat. "Or this?" The man's lower body moved, the stiffness of his erection rubbing against Sora's thigh.

Sora tried to clamp his throat muscles down to prevent an involuntary squeak... and covered his face with his hands, mortified. It had only been surprise, the first time!

"Oh." A different tone colored Leon's voice now, and his larger body lifted away.

"Don't!" Sora protested, hands flying to grip the man's shoulders and tugging him back down. "I was only surprised." He could see what Leon was thinking and knew what he was about to say. "Don't!" The boy repeated. "Quit starting and stopping! Stop interpreting everything as a 'no', okay? I'm saying 'yes'!"

Exasperated but touched by Leon's overprotective concern, Sora watched the struggle reprise itself in his friend's head. Finally, the man nodded. "Okay. But if you do say no I promise I'll stop."

"Not gonna say no!" Sora reiterated peevishly. "You think too much!" He pressed his body as close to Leon's as he could, lips to hips, and his mouth curled in satisfaction when Leon moaned and clutched him tighter, broad hands pushing the boy's T-shirt up and tossing it on the floor somewhere.

Passion caused the rise in temperature once again, and he thrust his groin up. "Le-on," he pleaded, whimpering as he felt fingers slip under his waistband. The man pulled off Sora's pants and laid him on the bed. Thighs still straddling the teen, Leon tugged his own shirt over his head.

Sora felt his self-consciousness fade when he was confronted with Leon's tanned, toned, and utterly perfect torso. His fingertips ached to touch so he did, sliding his palms over smooth skin and hard muscle.

Leon hadn't had enough time to take in the vision of Sora's full nakedness when the teenager started touching him. The man closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure. No one had ever touched him like this--he'd been groped and petted, but never caressed with gentle fingers. When he opened his eyes again, the view was gorgeous. Sora staring up at him in appreciation and raw desire, lips left parted and wet after exhaling a murmured, "Wow."

"Wow yourself," Leon returned. The boy was all big blue eyes and soft skin, taut pink nipples and the obvious signs of developing muscles. Sora's prick wasn't as large as Leon's, nor his balls as hairy, but he was perfect. Perfect.

Leon flicked his eyes up to meet Sora's, and grinned wickedly. "Wonder if you taste as good as you look."

Sora squirmed and blushed and couldn't believe his widening eyes as he watched Leon slide back and down, and--Oh God!--he was going to, going to...!

Leon's head dove down and his mouth engulfed Sora's cock without any preliminary teasing.

The teenager bucked his hips and gasped. Tried to yell out Leon's name but only a gurgle emerged. His fingers instinctively threaded into shaggy brown hair, parting the curtain to allow him a view of Leon's closed eyes and red lips wrapped around his penis. This was the dirtiest, wrongest, sexiest thing Sora had ever seen. He must have made another noise because those eyes opened and looked up at him, Leon looked at him, and Sora whimpered his name, and, god, he was coming. Coming into the heat and the slick wetness and the pressure that was Leon's mouth, and Sora threw his head back and moaned. Orgasm pulled his strength out through his hips and pushed his mind into the stratosphere, where he floated in warm whiteness, not even sensing Leon licking him clean and crawling back up the bed to wrap him in his arms.

"Good?" Leon murmured when Sora's eyes finally opened hazily.

Sora's third attempt to reply was successful. "'Good'? Leon, that was-- I don't have words!"

His lover chuckled, apparently quite pleased with himself. Sora admitted that the guy certainly had the right to be smug.

He met Leon's gaze. "You. I mean, why? Why did you do that?"

The man raised his eyebrows. "Because I love you, Sora. I wanted to give you pleasure. I did, didn't I?"

Sora turned so he could throw an arm around Leon and snuggle up even closer to the man''s chest. "You did. I love you too, Leon." There was a silence as Sora looked down between their bodies at Leon's hard, wet prick. "Does that mean... I have to...?"

Leon gently pulled Sora's face up. "No. I mean, I would like you to, and maybe sometime later on you'll want to. But not now." Sora gave him a slightly shaky smile and was obviously relieved.

"So what do you want me to do now?" Sora glanced up at Leon coyly through his eyelashes. He pressed his hip against Leon's erection and was surprised at how hot and hard it was.

Leon groaned and flopped over onto his back. "Whatever you want to do, Sora." The boy shivered at the way Leon said his name, low and breathy, and how his dark his eyes looked with his pupils wider than Sora'd ever seen them.

A surge of power flooded through Sora. He was making this man-- this gorgeous, sexy, deadly man-- look like this. Aroused and needy. Sora had a thought that made him smile and he sat up and straddled Leon's thighs. "Should I use my hands, Leon?" He gently stroked a finger up Leon's shaft and lightly circled the bared head with a fingertip. The man moaned and sweated and writhed in response, and threw an arm over his eyes as he fought not to buck his hips up. Sora's smile turned into a smirk and he leaned forward and laid himself full-length on top of Leon, his recovering and hardening prick nestling right up against his lover's. "Or should I use my whole body?" Sora squirmed. The movement was instinctual but unpracticed; Leon responded enthusiastically regardless.

"Sora," the man breathed. One hand splayed on the boy's shoulderblade and the other gripped his left hipbone and Leon guided Sora's movements for a scant few seconds before his muscles seized and he was left clutching onto Sora as orgasm ripped through him.

"Leon," hissed Sora, a bit louder, as he came again.

It was a while before Sora rolled off and an even longer length of time before Leon kissed his forehead and got out of bed.

"Whuyuhdoon?" Sora mumbled sleepily, just awake enough to admire Leon's ass as the man bent down to pick up something.

"Gotta clean us up, babe."

Sora closed his eyes and yawned as he felt Leon wipe off his belly and penis. There was an interval during which, Sora muzzily assumed, Leon cleaned himself off, and then the man was getting back into bed.

Sora cuddled up and nuzzled Leon's chest. "Leon?"

"Yeah?" A hand was gently carding through Sora's hair and he felt his heart beat extra-strongly over the tender ministrations.

"I love you, and..." Sora yawned and trailed off.

"And what?" Leon prodded after a moment, amused.

"'M go'n t'sleep now."

"Fine. Go ahead and sleep," Leon replied. He reached out and turned off the lamp and dropped a kiss in messy brown hair. "I love you, too," he added, smiling into the dark, happier and more at peace than he had been in a very long time.