Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto - Masashi Kishimoto does.

Summary: After Naruto comes across Shino and Kiba, things start to become hectic. They said Naruto's teenage hormones are going to be out of control. What's he supposed to do now?

Warning: Rated T for sexual insinuation and brief language.

Placebo Effect

Chapter 1

If anyone in Konoha were to be asked if they knew a thing or two about me, they'd be able to have a list.

Of course, it's because most of the time, I tell them these things right into their faces…but there's also the recently announced secret that I was the only son of the great Minato Namikaze, which is something everyone in the village should already know by now. Heh.

The one thing that others should already know (and by that, I mean required to know) is that I will become the next Hokage. I've been promising this publicly ever since I can remember. It was my craving for acknowledgment and respect that lead me to believe that being Hokage would finally make the rest accept me. As I grew, however, I realized that to be accepted shouldn't be my motivation - it's to protect the well-being of those I care for. From then on, I tell others that I will become Hokage to assure them that the village will be protected with my life.

Anyway, people should also know that I never go back on my word. None of the vows I've made in the past have been left unaccomplished. I even brought Sasuke back! (He's currently under surveillance. But if everything goes smoothly the next 2 weeks, then Granny Tsunade will free him from the officials. Finally, he and I can talk like we used to without having to be aware of weird black-suited spies with shades around us, one being that Ebisu guy).

Then there's this thing I do that ties in with it, and it's that I don't ever, ever…

…give up. I don't know how, so don't expect me to back down from any challenge.

But I hate it when others take advantage of that. You know those kinds of moments where grown-ups take advantage of the fact that their children are young, so they can be bossed around? Kind of like how I always get the crappy missions back when I was still a genin because Granny Tsunade takes advantage of my wanting to become Hokage someday.

Well, one such day happened when I met up with Shino and Kiba.

"Oi, Naruto!"

I looked up from the scroll I was reading to find Akamaru with Kiba, who was waving madly at me (to think that he's an experienced chuunin now…he's still as immature as ever!). Shino was beside him, appearing with something in his hand.

I rolled back my scroll and approached them, saying my hellos. "So what're you guys doing here?"

Kiba shrugged. "Some stuff for the Aburame clan. I just accompanied Shino here," he pointed to his friend.

I turned my attention to what Shino was holding. "What's that?" I said, pointing to the item.

He raised his hand and uncurled it to show some sort of sugar bowl, shut with a lid. "This," he started, with that voice that makes you feel insignificant-minded, "is a container of one of my clan's antiquated and once-valued aphrodisiacs. It is a mixture of rare alkaloids, made through a convoluted process."

I nodded.

Of course. Why did I trust this guy to explain something in words I'd understand?

"It's for the insects that dwell inside our bodies. It's been recently confirmed that it is not as effectual to the insects as the clan deemed it to be, however, so it's no longer of any importance to us – naught of any real concern pertaining to your business, really." He slid his shades up the bridge of his nose, a gleam of light flashing shortly.

I turned to Shino's friend, hopeful that I might just find my way back from being lost in Shino's vocabulary with Kiba's more modern one.

He merely shrugged. "I think it's an energy drink for his bugs."

I raised my eyebrow at Shino. "Energy drink, eh?"

Shino sighed and said, "You can say that…" then he murmured something that wasn't audible enough for anyone to understand.

For a lack of a better response, I merely said, "Cool."

Kiba started grinning and chuckling. "Hey, Naruto."

"What?" Both of his fangs were exposed - a sign that one should feel cautious about. Kiba's intentions are usually devious when he gives a guy that toothy smile of his.

"I dare ya to drink it," he said, pointing to the bowl.

I raised me eyebrow at him. Is he serious? "Um…no. Why should I? It's Shino's!"

"Come on, Shino doesn't mind, right Shino?"

"…I–"

"Of course he does! Besides, it's for his bugs! You wouldn't eat what Akamaru eats, would you?"

"..." His silence was a good enough answer to that question. Ew. He shook his head wildly and said, "That's beside the point! It won't be bad for you! I mean, Shino just said that it doesn't work!" He nudged Shino slightly. "Right, Shino?"

"I did state that, but–"

"See, Naruto? There aren't any reasons for you to chicken out!"

Did he just…?

That did it. I practically glared holes at Kiba as he waited for a response. "Chicken…out?" I snatched the little container from Shino's hands, took the lid off, and finished it all in one gulp, showing no signs of hesitation. The drink left a trail of odd sensations down my throat, though it didn't taste all that bad.

I shove the bowl to Kiba's abdomen, wanting him to see for himself that the bowl was completely empty, and that I don't 'chicken out'…especially from such a little dare.

"Wooh! Didn't know you'd actually do it, Naruto," Kiba chuckled, taking the bowl from my hand.

"Still underestimating me Kiba?" I flicked my nose with my thumb. "I thought you already learned your lesson the first time?" The look on his face told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.

He simply chose to ignore it and ruffled Akamaru's head. He asked me, "So, what did it taste like?"

I rolled my tongue inside my mouth, trying to recall the taste. "It's…kind of like chocolate, actually." Weird.

"Chocolate?" He cocked his head to the side. He took a sniff from the bowl. "Hmm…not what I expe–"

"This is bad."

Kiba and I switched our attention back to Shino. His eyebrows, which were practically the only things he had that express emotion, were furrowed together. "Naruto, it may have been a bad idea that you drank the whole aphrodisiac like that."

"Hm? Why's that?"

His shades gleamed. "Naruto, do you have a clue what an aphrodisiac is?"

I shook my head. But I don't understand him most of the time, so it doesn't make much difference now, right?

"It is a substance that amplifies one's sexual desire."

I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat at that moment. My…desire? My eyes were threatening to fall from their sockets.

Kiba decided to step in and said, "Wait a minute, you just told us that it doesn't work."

"Correct. It is ineffectual for the insects. A human, or any other living creature for the matter, has not ingested this aphrodisiac for centuries."

I gulped. "Wh-what exactly is that stuff made of? It's probably something that won't affect humans the way they wanted it to affect bugs, right?" Suddenly, I felt a tingling sensation just below my abdomen, followed by a slight gurgle from my stomach.

Oh great…

"Actually, did you not inform us that you tasted chocolate when you consumed it?"

I nodded.

"This is a bad sign. Chocolate contains chemicals, most particularly theobromine and phenethylamine, which were recently suggested as sexual stimulants. Phenethylamine may have psychoactive effects in sufficient quantities. Chocolate can also manipulate the levels of serotonin, believed to be a neurotransmitter, in the modulation of aggression, body temperature, mood, appetite, sexuality…etc."

I could feel a bead of sweat trailing down the side of my face. He pretty much had me at 'this is a bad sign,' and the rest just made me feel worse. "S-so…what's going to happen to me now?"

He pushed his shades up with a finger. "You will have to deal with a magnification of your typical teenage hormones. For instance: when you see females, you will become more aware of their assets, some of which you may have not noticed from them before. You may have to be most careful about physical contact as well. Even the slightest touch from them may trigger your…urges."

"U-urges?" What the… "So you mean, I'll be a big pervert?"

"A bigger pervert than you already are," Kiba snorted. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"If that is how you wish to think of it as, then yes," Shino said.

"Then, I guess all I have to do is avoid girls, right?"

"That's easier said than done, Naruto. That may be impossible, unless you plan to stay at home to a certain extent."

"Well, how long until it wears off?"

"When it comes to chemicals like these, my insects' immunity to them is a great deal stronger than the typical shinobi." His eyebrows furrowed deeper. "It may take days, Naruto."

"DAYS!? What the hell!" I dropped down on my knees and placed my arms around his leg. "Shino, you have to have some kind of antidote for this! I can't live like that for days!"

"I apologize, Naruto, but I do not." He tried to shake me away from his limb. "We have not come across any problems like this before, so the clan did not bother to formulate a cure."

I stood back up. "Well then, I guess I have no choice but to stay home." Now that I thought of it, it did sound hard...

But as long as I at least have my instant ramen to keep me satisfied, then I can still survive. I started running to the direction of my apartment. "I better hurry before I run across a girl. See ya guys!"

I saw Kiba wave at me. "See ya, Naruto!"

Kiba…he was the one who started all this. I stopped and turned to face him. "Kiba, you're going to pay for this big time!" I stuck my middle finger up to him briefly then turned back to run, but not before I heard him chuckle and murmur something to himself.

All that talk about chocolate is from Wikipedia dot org. For those of you who already know the truth about chocolate and all that chemical stuff, please don't say anything. The point of the story is that the truth will be revealed in the end.