A/N: Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer...yeah...obviously (She never saw James like this).

Please review if you like this, I always like to hear from others who have a soft spot for bad guys!!

James and Bella

My heart was pounding so hard that my breathing was coming in ragged gasps as I tried to calm myself. At least my mother wasn't here; at least Edward and his family could be safe. The thoughts were comforting as I nearly drowned in blinding fear watching James stalk toward me again from across the room-where I had been moments before he had thrown me. I was crumpled against the wall, aching, but I knew nothing was broken. James set the camera down and continued slowly making his way to me. Judging by the look in his eyes, I was not going to remain unbroken for long-I could already feel bruises forming from where I had hit the wall. James leered down at me, leaning forward to brush the hair away from my face.

"We need to get a good shot of this look," he said, forcing my face toward the camera, "what do you think Edward-does Bella look scared yet?" He lifted my slight frame and turned me completely to the camera, holding me still and resting his chin on my shoulder. "She is afraid. You should smell it-" he broke off what he was saying as he buried his face in the hair at the base of my skull. I couldn't move. One hand was wrapped around my waist, the other on my chin; I wondered if he was planning on biting me now-having been very thorough in his taunts to Edward through the camera. An out of place thought floated across my mind briefly-that to an outsider watching the scene unfold it would seem he had simply named his camera 'Edward.' I started to laugh but quickly cut the sound off before it could be completed. James promptly turned me around to face him. He raised an eyebrow. "Something that you'd like to share with Edward before you die?" He asked casually, gesturing again at the camera. I lost it completely and started to laugh-the inappropriateness of the gesture was shocking to James, who looked at me as though I was completely insane. I saw his eyes scan my head, probably checking to see if I had hit myself harder than he had initially thought. With tears in my eyes I managed to stop laughing as James continued to glare at me, holding me up against him with his hands wrapped around my arms, just above the elbow. He leaned in and took in my scent again, his eyes narrowing. My heart rate accelerated again. "You are afraid…but there's something else too." He moved suddenly and before I knew what direction we were moving I found my back pressed against a mirrored wall, James fully against me, one hand wrapped around my neck, the other lightly grazing my face. "But what else is there that you could possibly be feeling right now? You should be completely terrified to the point where no other thought exists in your head aside from how I'm going to kill you. What other feeling in that small body could possibly lessen your fear?" He growled this question at me, and seemed to genuinely expect a response.

Because I was curious myself I tried to search out whatever feeling it could be, tried to clear my head to explore my own reactions to these dramatic events. I was terrified, slightly hysterical, and…oh, god. James must have seen something register on my face because he grabbed my jaw with the hand that had been around my neck, and pressed the other hand to my hip, securing me to the wall. "What is it?" He asked forcefully, pressing his forehead to my own. I couldn't say it…wouldn't say it. That the way he was holding me, the look on his face, the feel of him pressed against me was going to make me combust. I flushed with heat and shame. His eyes darkened as the hand on my hip slid up my waist to my ribcage. Blood rushed to my face and I moaned before I could stifle the sound. It hung there in the dusty air between us as I racked my mind to see what I could possibly do to cover it…maybe if I screamed…but it was too late. James could not have looked more shocked at the sound that I had made than if I had just announced that Edward wore women's lingerie. The look turned to incredulity, and then darkened again. "You-" he broke off his sentence again to inhale my scent. "You're excited…still scared out of your mind, but excited." He drank in my expression. I bit my lip and wished that he would just kill me where I stood. Of all of the things to feel for the sadist vampire that's going to kill you-lust was as out of place as the humor had been earlier. I closed my eyes and waited for him to kill me.

He let out a low chuckle. "God, your fear is intoxicating right now; I can taste it on the back of my tongue. Don't worry," he leaned in close, and as my heart threatened to break out of my chest he crooned in my ear. "We're not done with the show yet, so I'm not going to kill you right away." With that he licked a freezing trail from just above my breasts to below my ear. I collapsed against him as he growled gripping his jacket like a lifeline. He wrapped a fist in my hair as the other hand grabbed my shirt and pulled. The fabric tore easily and I cried out at the overload of sensations that were threatening to consume me. His icy hands began to roam over the bare skin of my chest, kneading and squeezing me.

"No!" I managed to choke out. James casually smacked me, splitting my lip, and making my ears ring and the room spin.

"You can try to tell me that you don't want this-try to lie to the camera, but I know and you do too," he reached a hand down the front of my pants, pressing into me through my moist panties, "how much you want this." He brought the hand back up to my face, holding me still as he licked the trickle of blood that had seeped from my lip. He was completely right and I also knew that even if he gave me the opportunity to stop, I wouldn't. His eyes were completely black as he went back to massaging my breasts, spreading both heat and chills running through me. I gasped as his tongue began to stimulate one of my nipples, freezing and burning at the same time. I braced my hands on his shoulders as he continued to work his tongue against me. He pulled briefly away as I leaned against the mirror behind me, trying to catch my breath. He took off his jacket and tossed it across the room, before grabbing my midsection and pulling me back to his chest, lifting me and pushing me up against the mirror. He forced my mouth open with his tongue and explored inside of me. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, the chill of his body pressed to my naked flesh was the most stimulating and enthralling sensation I could imagine, and I found myself returning the energy of his kissing as passionately as I could. One of his hands reached up and grabbed my face as he broke away from me. He smiled evilly as I almost begged to continue. He pressed into me harder with his upper body while moving his lower body away from mine. I continued to support myself by holding onto his shoulders as he moved a hand down to the front of my pants and unbuttoned them. He slid them down my legs and I helped kick them off so that I could wrap myself around him, locking against him with my ankles hooked behind his back. While he grabbed my hair again and began teasing my mouth with his tongue I started grinding against the front of his pants, pleased that I was having an obvious effect on him.

He growled and pressed me into the mirrored wall hard enough that I thought it would crack. He then extracted himself from the tangle of my limbs and turned me around to face the mirror-putting my hands up against the glass and not letting them go until he was sure that I wouldn't move them. My face in the mirror shocked me. My eyes were wild and my cheeks were flushed, my swollen lips were parted and my hair appeared to have been through a windstorm. James stood behind be and trailed his hands down my arms leaving me frozen in pleasure. I sighed and rested my head against mirror. My breath fogged the glass as James's hands moved from my shoulders to my breasts, briefly manipulating my nipples until I moaned into the glass and they continued their move down my ribcage to my waist. He slowly brushed the outside of my panties before making my back arch, one hand on the front of my pelvic area, the other in the small of my back. He kicked my legs apart until I could barely stand, and pressed his leg up in between mine, making me squirm and causing my sweat slicked hands to slip a few inches before I stopped them moving. His dangerous expression in the mirror at my slip quickened the pulse in my veins as I was flooded again with fear.

"Now, now…you weren't supposed to move your hands," he murmured, and moved to within an inch of me as I whimpered.

"I was off bala-" I started, before his hand came up and covered my mouth, roughly cutting off my excuse.

"No-no excuses. I can see we'll have to improvise." He spoke the phrase into my skin slowly and I again felt chills shake my body. Keeping his hand on my mouth, he lifted me with his other arm and carried me to the section of mirror that had a bar. He placed my hands on the bar and growled in my ear, "Hold onto this as if your life depends on it," he smiled evilly again, "which it does, actually." I felt my face flush again as I thought to myself-that should really not turn me on. I gripped the bar and waited. James did not keep me waiting long. He sauntered forward and took my wrists into his hands, securing them together behind my back with a length of rope. He grabbed me by my neck and led me across the room, pushing me down onto the table face first. He took the rope and trailed his hands down my legs securing each ankle to the bottom of a leg of the table. It was not the most comfortable position to be in. My toes barely brushed the floor as legs were spread wide and my top half rested on the table. I felt James move behind me, the fabric of his pants brushing against my backside. He ran his icy hands up my back and grabbed a handful of hair and my shoulder, roughly pulling me back against him. The hand that had been holding my hair moved to my throat as the other one began twisting and pulling at my nipples. I cried out but couldn't move because of the ropes around my wrists and ankles, as well as his hand on my throat. The other hand moved lower and began to slowly slide under my panties. His cold fingers made me shudder as James began to move them slowly in a circular rhythm. My breathing caught and I pulled and twisted at the ropes trying to move in response to James's touch but he had done too well with the knots and I was immobilized. He picked up his speed and with every move slid a few fingers into me, pumping me while he worked over my clit with his thumb. The pressure built inside of me, so intense that tears formed as he continued to pump his fingers faster and faster, until finally it overwhelmed me and I climaxed forcefully against his hand, tears rolling down my face as I heard myself shout out "Oh, God! James…God!!" He moved the hand that had just bruised my throat to my hair again and used it to force me down to the table. His other hand ripped off my panties.

My mind was still spinning from the climax that continued to contract the muscles inside of my core. I heard James unzip his pants behind me and less than a second later felt the tip of his shaft coolly prod into my opening. With no more warning at all he forced himself fully into me, giving me no time to adjust to his size, and started slamming his hips against my ass, forcing my pelvis to collide with the table again and again. I cried out in a mix of emotions afraid that he would truly harm me, overwhelmed with lust, and a strong desire for him to never stop. I heard him inhale and knew that he could smell my fear, as well as feel my lust for him as my core tightened like a fist around him. He snarled and increased his speed, thrusting into me over and over again as I shrieked at each smack of his hips against me. As the pressure swelled inside of me I knew he was still holding back. I managed to gasp out, "if…oh...you would…God, James…faster…please…" I knew that it was dangerous, but I had a strange sense that when he finally got around to killing me, it wouldn't be like that. I knew that he still wanted my blood. He grabbed me by my hair and around my chest, pulling me up off of the tabletop, while still thrusting into me hard enough that I couldn't breathe properly.

His teeth grazed my earlobe as he grunted out, "You know, I like hearing you beg." He grabbed my breasts and kept me pressed up against his chest as his speed increased, forcing the building pressure inside of me to climb until I felt I would literally be shattered by it. After what seemed like hours of building tension, my body on fire and chilled from the inside, the pressure exploded over me and I screamed out at the force of it coursing through me. James shouted out and I felt him stiffen and thrust into me once more, our bodies locked together as swells of energy crashed between us. We remained locked together like that for I'm not sure how long, until James swore violently and pulled himself out of me, causing me to fall forward as he suddenly disappeared. I swept the room for him, and caught his movement out of the corner of my eye. I watched in the mirror as he stalked toward me, his hands holding a very dangerous looking blade. My eyes widened and I gasped as he dragged me up from the top of the table. He held my face, searching my expression for something before kneeling down and cutting my legs free. My wrists remained lashed firmly behind my back. I cried out as he knocked me to the ground. I was on my knees as he approached me, again with the evil grin on his face and the knife in his hand. He grabbed the back of my neck and leaned in close to me. My heart was aching at the thought of what would come next…had I thought that this would somehow all end well-that he would spare me a painful death because he had enough video to torment Edward-with the knowledge that I had been taken by him, wanted him, and was marked by him? I realized that I was crying as much for losing James as I was my life. I searched again through what I was feeling. There was a profound grief at the thought of never being in his arms again, fear that my death would be painful, and a horrible pain knowing that James had made me feel so strongly for him, and that he not only didn't return those feelings, but that he was actually willing to drain my life away as easily as he would have taken me again, given the time. Locked away in another corner of my brain was guilt for what this would do to Edward. I realized that I was more worried for his pain; than I was that I was going to lose him. I didn't love him, the thought sat ugly and whole in my mind. I didn't love Edward. I knew that my death would break him, and desperately hoped that my betrayal would lessen his pain at losing me. James brought me back into awareness, away from my final thoughts. I felt his cool breath on my face as he forced his mouth onto mine for the last time. I was disgusted by the fact that I didn't regret my actions. Even knowing what was going to happen, I would have chosen it again. My tears continued to roll as he brought the blade to the inside of my cleavage, pressing lightly, almost teasingly.

"We don't have much time before your Edward is going to walk through that door, so let's make this good," he sneered, licking the salty tears from my chin all along my jaw line. I felt a sharp pull at the skin above my right breast and realized that he had made a shallow wound there, with the knife. The smell of my blood running sickened me and I felt my face flush as I quickly turned my head. James continued to hold me as I threatened to collapse. He lowered his head to my chest and began to slowly suck on the wound, drawing my blood out. He strummed my nipple lightly with one hand as the other continued to support me at the base of my neck. Feeling what he was doing sent powerful waves of pleasure through me with each pulse of my heart. He pulled his head back. "It's a shame that you were unconscious the entire time." I looked at him, confused. He was suddenly gone from in front of me and I fell forward, unable to stop myself from hitting the ground, but then he was back, catching my tied wrists as he put something inside of his jacket, before laying the jacket across the table. I felt dizzy as he pulled me upright. "You know this is going to hurt? Oh well, I'll see you around." My mind was racing as he put his icy lips to my wound again. This time he didn't draw any blood. He seemed to be waiting.

A door to our left suddenly smashed open as I saw Edward framed in the doorway, frozen in horror. Suddenly James was holding my body in front of him as he faced Edward. "You should probably look for a sturdier female…I think this one is broken." I abruptly found myself flying through the air toward Edward, and realized that James had thrown me at him. We collided in midair and as Edward attempted to cradle me from the brunt of the impact we crashed into the floor. I felt new bruises forming as Edward felt my pulse and called desperately for Carlisle. Deep burgundy roses bloomed behind my eyes as I sank into darkness.

The annoying beeping noise wouldn't let me sleep. I slowly realized what it was for and sat up quickly. The first thing I saw was Edward's tortured expression. "Shhh…calm down Bella. He can't hurt you here." I simply looked at him, confused. Tears sprang to my eyes for all of the wrong reasons.

"What happened? After I blacked out…what…James…"

Edward approached the bed cautiously, slowly, watching my reactions carefully. "We brought you here, of course." He sat down in a chair next to the bed. "Don't worry, Bella, I'm not going to hurt you." I realized what he had seen on the videorecorder.

"Oh-god, Edward…I don't know what…I mean…he-" Edward stilled me with a hand on my arm.

"Shhh…you're safe now. You don't have to tell me what happened. No one is going to make you say or do anything that you aren't comfortable with. No one can hurt you now." I was even more confused.

"You aren't mad at me?" I asked, incredulous.

Edward's eyes widened as his face looked again that it might break of sorrow. "Bella, whatever happened is not your fault. James is a sick monster for-" he broke off as he breathed deeply trying to calm himself.

I slowly sat up. "What do you mean-whatever happened? The video-recorder-" He looked at me sadly again.

"He lied Bella. When we got to the video recorder the memory card was missing. He obviously tried to torment you with the thought that I would have to watch him torture you to death, when in reality he was planning on me seeing it live. I'm just glad that I got there before you lost too much blood, lucky that the wound on your chest was shallow enough-that by chance you weren't infected by any venom." My mind started to race faster and faster as thoughts crowded my head. It was…chance…luck? My heart swelled as I realized that James had deliberately kept me alive, while making it seem as though he was trying to kill me. His voice echoed in my head: we don't have much time…let's make this good…it's a shame that you were unconscious…see you around. I started crying for the sheer relief that washed over me. He kept me alive, and had taken the video on the memory card with him. I couldn't believe it. Edward's velvet voice broke through my tears.

"Bella! No, Bella, it's okay, you're safe now love, he can't hurt you."

The relief was instantly replaced by a cold sense of dread deep in the pit of my stomach. My head began to spin as I felt nauseous. No, no…they couldn't. I looked at Edward, but before I could speak Carlisle entered the room. He carefully approached the bed, afraid of scaring me. Edward's eyes narrowed at something that Carlisle was thinking. He growled out-"No. It's not necessary!" Carlisle's face grew stern as he looked at his adopted son. They were obviously having some type of argument. My head was still swimming in the grief for James that I thought would overwhelm me. "Fine!" Edward's voice startled me, and as I looked at him his face hardened. "Carlisle believes that due to the trauma you've been through, your future ability to trust in anyone at all depends on abrupt…openness. He thinks that I should be as open and up front as I can be about everything that happened when you blacked out." He drew in a deep breath before continuing. "We didn't get him, Bella, I'm so sorry. We tried but he was too quick, and I was so worried about getting you help-not that it's your fault-I just couldn't catch up to him…James got away." His voice hardened. "But do not worry, please…I will keep you safe, I vow to you. He will not come anywhere near you again!" It was too much to hope for-he was safe, safe. My tears turned more quickly than I could imagine from grief to joy. He was safe. I felt instantly guilty at what Edward was going through, thinking that I had been raped, that I was terrified and traumatized. I honestly didn't know where to go from here, so I slowed my tears and leaned back into the bed, listening to the beeping of my heartbeat and thinking about where my future could go.

One year later

The night breeze cooled my skin as I stormed through the darkness, my frustration almost unbearable. Edward was being absolutely ridiculous. I had every right to make my own decisions, to choose what I wanted for myself-but no. It was not meant to be. Edward was no longer interested in a romantic relationship with me. He said that he would never leave me, always protect me from the threats that he believed he was responsible for, but that a relationship was out of the question. He believed that I was too damaged to be able to know my own feelings, that I needed to be protected from my desires, that they weren't really mine, but some ugly thing that had been borne out of the trauma I had experienced. I had tried to confess once, that I wasn't the victim of a violent rape, but he insisted that what I was feeling was wrong, and that I couldn't rationally see the event. I gave up on trying to confess after that. I felt the grass replace itself with fallen leaves and realized that I had stormed away too far, and that Edward would be furious that I was out of sight of his house. I let out an exasperated sigh and sat down across a fallen tree. I was tired of Edward's behavior, tired of being told that I didn't know what I wanted, tired of being told that I was wrong to feel the things that I felt. I leaned back and waited for someone to sound the alarms and send Edward shooting into the forest to rescue me from all of the scary trees. I heard swift footsteps approach, and knew that I was busted. I dropped back to the ground, miraculously not tripping, and without turning around to face him I drew in my breath to tell Edward off-and wasn't given the chance.

A hand roughly covered my mouth as an arm snaked its way around my midsection. A sinister, familiar voice growled low in my ear, "Now, you'd think that a small, unarmed, defenseless little female would have better sense than to wander around dark woods in the middle of the night." My heart was pounding so loudly that I was surprised no one at the house could hear it. Then I recalled exactly how far I was from the home. The growling continued at my ear. "One might assume that the little female was asking to be taken away from her defenders," the voice sneered slightly at the end, as James gripped me tightly and inhaled. I shuddered slightly, wondering at his plans. He sighed deeply. "Promise me that you'll never stop being afraid of me." I nodded frantically as he let out a low quiet laugh. "Then let's go-I have a car waiting approximately one mile from here." Without waiting for my consent he raced into the darkness with me, the trees around us blurring with his speed as I grasped him tightly, relaxing against him. Everything finally felt right-for the first time in a year.

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