A/N: Arrrrggggggggghhhh! My computer got a really bad virus last week so i had to take it to the computer place in town, but they had to wipe my entire system so i lost all my work - which is why this took so long to get out! Grrrrrrrrrr. Anyway! Sorry i haven't replied personally to all those wonderful reviews you gave me but i was focusing on getting this written (which i thought you'd appreciate more). So BIG BIG BIG Thank you to everyone! This is potentially the final chapter, and the smallest, which wasn't intentional i just go where the story takes me. I have an idea for an epilogue if people want one, but i won't be insulted if you're happy with this ending - so let me know.

I don't own anything you recognised. Alex, Her family, The library staff, Callum and Diana are all mine.

If i don't post on this story again thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, and enjoyed. I loved writing it so much, and i'm feeling kind of sad to see it end. I love you all!

Supernova

Chapter 13: "Hey There Delilah, You Be Good And Don't You Miss Me. Two More Years And You'll Be Done With School, And I'll Be Making History Like I Do." – Plain White T's, Hey There Delilah.

"Stegosaurus… wait! … Diplodocus! I think. I was never very good at my dinosaurs."

Jacob leaned in closer. "Which one?"

I pointed up at the fluffy cotton wool floating lazily across the sky. "That one next to the rabbit."

"Oh, right." He frowned. "Who knows? I'm not a paleontologist. It looks like a pineapple to me."

I snorted. "What kind of pineapples do you eat? It's a Diplodocus or a Stegosaurus."

Turning his head to the side to grin at me he said, "You just like saying those names."

"You're right, I do. They're fun. Dip-lo-do-cus. Steg-o-saur-us. Fun. You try."

Much to my own surprise he did and I watched him amused at the way he pouted when he pronounced Diplodocus. "What?" he asked suspiciously when he finished.

"Nothing," I smiled innocently. "Say: Diplodocus, again."

Those brown eyes narrowed. "Why?"

I sidled closer to him on the old blanket we were sharing, my body pressing along his side. "Pretty please?"

"Diplodocus," he reluctantly repeated and I laughed. "Seriously, what?" Leaning over him I pressed my forehead into his chest to smother my giggles. "Alex…" he warned. "Tell me." I don't know why I found it so hilarious but I did.

Obviously Jacob was tired of waiting for me to pull myself together. He wrapped his arms around me and stood up with such ease that all my laughter halted. How the heck did he do that? I didn't have much time to wonder at his inhuman strength as he proceeded to wade with me into the cool water that lapped the pebble beach we had been laid out on. I clung tighter. I did not want to know just how freezing that water was. "No! Jake! No! Put me down! I'll tell you! I promise I will!"

"Oh, yeah?" He challenged loosening his grip so that I dipped closer to the ocean's surface.

"Yeah!" I was practically climbing up him.

"Maybe I don't want to know anymore."

My gaze narrowed at him. "If Diana collects me for the airport soaked she's going to kill you and mount your head on her wall."

As that sunk in he paled. In two seconds we were back on shore but he didn't put me down, instead holding me tighter to him as he padded swiftly back up the pebbles to the blanket. There was a sudden momentum to his movements like a sprinter reaching the end of his race. I found myself being laid out on my back as Jacob quickly covered my body with his.

"Don't go," he whispered against my lips before kissing me urgently.

There was no way he could comprehend just how much I wished I could have stayed there on that beach with him. I would have given almost anything, and it would have been so easy to pull my phone from my bag and call Diana. She would be happy-ish to let me stay – indefinitely.

She would have made a great mother; but the world had other plans, and she was not my mother.

Deep down I knew that life was never easy or comfortable or what you expect it to be. It was painful most of the time; hurt so bad you couldn't remember why you got up every morning. The hardest decision was often (nearly always) the right one.

So you live for the moments like laying on a deserted beach with the most amazing person you have ever met and kissing him leisurely, as if you had all the time in the world. Just enjoying the feel of him, his spirit so close to yours.

Forks had turned me into a sap, but I was ok with that if it meant that I was allowed to experience love like this.

"Jake," I mumbled around his lips, "if I stay I would be running away."

He pulled back, eyes searching mine. "No."

"Yes I would." I insisted even though I knew that he understood – didn't like it – but understood. "You know it's not going to be forever. I'm coming back, promise. Then you'll be begging me to leave."

A smile almost teased up the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, I probably will be." Then the laughter faded. "I'm going to come get you if you don't," he swore, and I believed him.

"You'd better," I nodded in agreement with his plan. "But you wont have to."

"Yeah?" he needed reassurance, and I wondered how he could possibly doubt it. Except that right now it felt as if this was it. The End.

"I want you to be proud of me," I told him, and when he looked like he was going to protest I covered his mouth with my hand. "More than that I want to be proud of myself. Be the kind of person – not perfect, nothing silly like that – just better, you know?"

"You're the best person I know. My favourite person ever."

"I am aren't I," I teased leaning up to kiss him again each one bring us closer to the last.

A throat cleared pointedly. We both pulled away to peer up at the young woman stood with her arms folded across her chest and foot tapping the sand impatiently. Leah. I had asked her to come get me when Diana arrived, so it had to be time to go.

Jacob didn't budge when I tried to roll out from under him. "Jake," I complained, pushing weakly at his chest.

"Do you want me to get rid of him?" Leah asked with an excited glint in her eyes.

Jacob growled back at her. "Give it your best shot."

"Uh, guys?" I waved a hand to get their attention. Having forgotten for a moment that I was there at all they both were wearing surprised expressions as they regarded me once again. "Can I get up please?" Still looking like he'd rather be pealing the skin from his face Jacob stood up and pulled me up with him. "Ok," I began briskly, and then fell silent; no way was I going to let myself start sobbing. Taking in the view one final time (though I had Callum's photo album packed safely in my suitcase) I slipped my hand into Jacob's and tugged him up the beach towards the car idling by the curb.

The two Quileute werewolves were silent beside me.

My aunt switched the car off and stepped out to greet us. "Are you ready?"

Jacob's hand tightened around mine. "It's not forever," I told him as sternly as I could because if we believed it enough it would become true. "I'll be back!"

My Arnold Schwarzenegger impression was pretty poor but Leah snorted and Jake almost smiled.

"Damn straight you will," Leah pronounced and wrapped her arms around me. It was a little awkward because Jacob wouldn't let me go. "Going to miss you Alex. Here…" she placed a packet of cigarettes in my hand with a wink. "Don't say I never pay you back."

"As if I would," I grinned, shoving them quickly into my shoulder bag before Diana caught sight of them. "Jake?" I said, hesitant as I turned to face him.

His expression was stony in the way that it was when he was struggling to keep his emotions under control. "Look after yourself. I would like you with all your limbs when you come back."

I appreciated that he was trying and I prayed the others would stop him from doing something melodramatically stupid while I was gone. Leah was under strict orders. "Oh? You mean you won't love me anymore if I'm arm-less?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'd still love you if you were a floating head."

"Like in that episode of Futurama?"

"Yup. In a glass container filled with embalming liquid."

"Awww. I think that may be the sweetest most disturbing thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I try," he nodded, satisfied.

"Come here…" I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and crushing my mouth to his. He swung me off the ground like a rag doll and I closed my legs about his waist for better leverage. The kiss probably would have continued to whatever end had Diana and Leah not both coughed loudly and pointedly when Jake's hands slid down to cup my arse and hold me firmer. Now a little red in the face Jacob set me back down on the pavement, arms keeping me tucked into his chest.

"I love you," I whispered into his shoulder.

I had never said it before. Never even considered it. Didn't plan on doing it right then but it just snuck up and out the way the truth does sometimes. No warning, and strangely no fear.

"Come back," he breathed with a final kiss.

"Promise," I said when we parted, and I finally turned from them and walked over to Diana on unsteady feet.

"Lets go, Alex." She opened the passenger door and I climbed in.

When I finally woke up it took a few seconds to remember where I was and why Diana wasn't setting a mug of tea on my bedside table. Everything felt distant like a dream. Faces, places, hazy in my sleepy memory. Sunlight was glowing through the blinds – the blinds I had demanded that David put up for me when we moved to this house.

I was home. As I sat up, sheets pooling in my lap, I had the strangest feeling like I didn't fit. I had grown, changed, but everything was still the same, exactly as I had left it, but smaller: the old t-shirts thrown over my desk chair, the socks littering the floor, the spilt makeup, posters on the walls. For one panicked moment I thought that life was going to fall back into the same old patterns, that I had imagined the entire thing. Was this how heroines in stories felt when they returned to their old lives?

Then a face swam up to the surface, clear and bright as pure sunlight reminding me that I could do anything I wanted, that he would be there if it ever got too much. I had changed, I could feel it deep inside, a newer version of myself, and this room still belonged to the old.

Tilly was the one who pushed my door open. Her tousled head peered in with curious eyes. Music was playing from my stereo. I had lifted the blinds to let the late august sun stream through the leaves of the apple tree outside, patterns dancing across the carpet. The posters were gone; in their place were the pictures Callum had given me. First beach, the forest, Forks, the library, Enid, Carol, and Diana all posed awkwardly by the front desk, a pretty butterfly captured in a series, rain, sun, his grinning face. The one I was most surprised to find was one of Jacob and I outside the library when he had picked me up from work one day. He was placing that awful helmet on my head, I was pouting, but there was this look in our eyes that I could never describe. Trust? Friendship? Love? It was probably all three.

The t-shirts and socks were now safely in the washing bin. The makeup was all tucked into a draw, lids screwed on. I was rearranging and tidying the entire room and Tilly looked mildly frightened.

"Alex?" she said coming fully in but with her hand still on the door as if she was prepared to run at any moment.

"Yeah?" I replied as I stuck my head in the wardrobe and began clearing it out, tossing aside the stuff that didn't fit me any longer.

Pause. "Uh… nothing. Mummy wants to know if you're hungry."

My stomach growled noisily and I nodded at her with a grin. "Apparently I am. I'll be down in a bit."

With one more puzzled glance around at the startling flurry of activity she scooted out and I heard her make her way down the stairs. I laughed. It was actually kind of nice to be home. Not that I wasn't constantly aware of a tugging in my chest. A part of me had been left behind, waiting patiently to be collected. I chose to use that feeling as a reminder of all that I now was and all that I was determined to become.

Opening my shoulder bag that I'd taken on the flight - and dumped at the end of my bed last night - I pulled out my phone, purse, and a small package I hadn't (somehow) noticed before. The bag was leather, soft as velvet and had a drawstring threaded around the top. I slid it open and tipped the contents into my palm. A grin spread slowly across my face and I laughed. It was a simple silver necklace. Hung in equal pauses around it were ten miniature wolves carved from wood. At the front sat a large, shaggy, russet wolf. Next to him was a smaller, slender, grey wolf. Leah and Jacob. It was a bit too chunky to wear all the time so I hung it from the nail above my bed where I had once had a poster of Ghost World framed.

I loved it. I loved them.

The smooth stone Jacob had given me that day by the river was put on my bedside table and as I regarded the changes I had made I felt that sting at the base of my nose. Instead of chasing it away I let the tears stream down, clearing some room.

Just because it was the right decision didn't mean it wasn't the hardest to live with.

"Ali! Ali!" George called from the living room as I passed by to get to the kitchen.

Taking a detour I walked over to where he was watching cartoons with his arms outstretched towards me, chubby fingers grabbing at the air. "Hey there Georgie porgy!" I scooped him up into my arms. "Whoa! Someone's grown over the summer."

"Big boy now," George proclaimed and jabbed a finger into his chest.

"You sure are," I laughed and carried him through to the kitchen where Mum and the twins were flitting about. "What have you been feeding him?" I asked as I struggled to put him into his highchair.

"He's just a growing boy," Mum defended herself as she set the salad bowl in Livi's waiting arms. "Aren't you my baby boy?" she cooed at him, brushing a hand over his downy hair.

"Georgie's a fatty!" Livi laughed.

"Olivia!" Mum reprimanded.

I snorted and Tilly looked like she was horrified that her sister had said it out loud but completely agreed with her. George, on the other hand grinned big and toothy. "Fatty! Fatty! Fatty!" He sang happily.

"Oh no sweetheart!" My Mum shook her head trying not to laugh. "No you're not a fatty."

"Is," Livi teased handing a bowl of strawberries to her brother.

Mum frowned at her. "You're going to give him a complex and me a headache."

That confused the little know-it-all. "A what?"

The weary sigh that blew out from my Mother then had me looking at her through new eyes. She was tired, more so than I had ever allowed myself to admit, and I knew that I had been part of the cause for the shadows under her eyes. As Livi went behind me to grab the salt and pepper I looped an arm around her skinny waist to tug her onto my lap. "Leave Georgie alone."

"You started it!" the brain-box complained.

"You want to see your prezzie?" It was the perfect distraction.

"Give me, give me!" Her eyes lit up.

"Hmmm," I mused, "only if you're quiet for the whole of lunch."

Livi agreed instantly and when I set her down she climbed into her seat and sat straight waiting for her sandwich. Tilly sniggered but followed suit. When all the food was set out and I had taken a large bite from my tuna sandwich I glanced up and caught my Mother's eyes. She smiled softly in a way I hadn't had directed at me for so long that I felt my eyes welling up. "You're different, Alex," she said, not in accusation more like awe.

I nodded, holding her (my) eyes steady. "Yeah, I have."

Her face smoothed with warmth. "It's a good change. You seem happier…"

"Peaceful?" I suggested.

She snorted. "I wouldn't go that far."

"I am though," I told her. "I know now who I want to be."

Tilly was watching me with her owl-like eyes, all-seeing wisdom. "Who's that then?"

I leaned towards her like I was about to share a deep dark secret. "Me."

This was Livi's cue to throw in her two cents – not that she usually needed a cue. "Why would you want to just be you?"

How could she understand? Instead I said: "Why wouldn't I?"

Her forehead creased up in complete bafflement. Of course Livi wanted to be a pop star, or an actress, or a model, or a TV presenter depending on the day of the week. She wanted to be famous because that's what it means to be happy and successful in the world of a 4 year-old.

Someday she would realise that all that stuff really meant nothing. That loving yourself is how you learn to live life to the full, and that it is one of the hardest things to do. I was giving it my best shot.

May 17th, 2013

The graveyard was sat in the centre of town. It surrounded the medieval stone church on all sides. A wash of grey and green, scattered flowers were the only bright spots in the stillness. He was under a tree on the edge near the crumbling brick wall. I hadn't been here in so long. I hadn't been in England in so long that it felt like I was walking through a memory as I mapped the familiar streets. In one hand I carried a bunch of yellow tulips we brought in town. I knelt at his feet, raising the flowers to my face so that I could breath in their scent, their vivid life.

"It's a bit cloudy today," I said, "but they say it will get brighter. We're going to France tomorrow. To that house you and Mum brought when I was little. Remember? David and Mum found it as a holiday rent on the Internet. I was wondering if the sunflowers you planted are still growing. Perhaps I will have to come back and tell you." I shifted to the side, moving so that I was sitting cross-legged on the ground. "Got my degree in French last year, did Mum tell you? From the University of Washington, cool huh? Thinking I might train to teach, or something. I'm not really sure yet, I've got time though."

Tracing a finger up the satiny petals I continued. "I really wish you could have been there – at the wedding to give me away. David did a good job though, but you would have been better. It was beautiful, right on the beach with a bonfire and dancing into the small hours. Mum, David and the kids are still there – making a holiday of it. Diana was my maid of honour and Leah and the twins my bridesmaids. I chose really nice dresses for them. I was thinking of something poofy and pink but that would have ruined the photos so I didn't in the end. Besides, Leah would have killed me if I did." I smiled at the memories. "Jacob looked gorgeous, beautiful. He's here," I motioned behind me where I knew my 6ft husband was waiting. "You would like him I reckon – good sense of humour. Puts up with my whinging. I love him, but don't tell him that it'll just go to his head." I paused, taking a deep breath in. "Never thought I'd be here, you know, all grown up, married, on my honeymoon. It's a little scary – the good kind of scary. I think you need to do things that frighten you sometimes. Its good for you."

"We brought you these." I laid the blooms on the grass. "Liven the place up a bit. You know I've decided that someday we're going to meet again. It'll be a long time from now I hope, but we will." Reaching out a hand I felt along the grooves of his name carved in stone and gold plated. "Please don't be hurt if it's a while before I come back because I've got a lot of living yet to do."

I stood up, stretched, and cast a lingering gaze over my father's gravestone.

Peter Grant. Loving Husband And Father. Forever Remembered And Greatly Missed. 1952 – 2001.

Warmth spread through me as two arms slipped snugly around my waist, pulling me back into his strong chest. I breathed him in, that distinctive scent that I could no longer imagine living without. His chin rested lightly on my shoulder, cheek pressed against mine. "Whenever you're ready, Mrs Black. We do have a plane to catch though."

I rolled my eyes. "You hear that?" I asked my father. "Bossing me about already. We've barely been married a week!"

"Not bossing," Jacob corrected with a kiss behind my ear, "guiding firmly."

"Oh that's what you call it?" I cried in mock outrage. "Where I come from it's being a bossy-boots." He didn't answer that. I could feel his smile pressed into my skin. "He does have a point though," I conceded, "There is a flight to be caught. See you later, Dad."

"Ready?" Jacob asked pulling back and reaching out his arm for me.

I slipped my hand in his and the bands on our fingers caught a brief glint of sunlight through the clouds. "I'm ready."

And i was.