Disclaimer: I own nothing, including the song lyrics in italics.

Author's Note: I couldn't help it, okay? I got the ringtone for the second one, and I just couldn't stop myself… :grumble, grumble:

Because You Are So Dear

"Our song is the slamming screen door."

Everyone looked around the room, the purebloods and a few half-bloods in horror at what must have infiltrated. The rest of the half-bloods and the muggleborn looked more amused, wondering who had the misfortune of forgetting to put their phone on silent during the Order meeting. I was laughing at Ron. I glanced over at Harry, who was slowly turning red.

"Harry, you might as well answer it," I called. Harry went a brighter shade of red, while the people who knew what was going on began to snicker.

"I'm going," he groaned. He walked out of the kitchen. I snuck off after him moments later, wanting to know who had actually called during an Order meeting. All of the people in my phone, except my parents, were at the meeting.

"I can't talk right now," I heard Harry mutter from the drawing room. "There's an Order meeting…What do you mean, you know there's an Order meeting? You bastard!" I heard him slam his phone shut, but before I could duck out of the way, Harry came flying out of the room.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?"

"Listening," I admitted, eyeing Harry's face. He really seemed more amused than angry, despite what he'd said on the phone. "Who was on the phone?"

"My boyfriend," he answered. My eyes widened slightly.

"Where you going to tell us you were dating someone?"

"Probably not for a while yet," he replied honestly.

"You know you can count on us."

"Do you want to help me later?" he asked mischievously. "Just stay here after the meeting. You'll probably get to meet him then." With that said, he walked back into the kitchen, just in time to hear Snape's latest report about Voldemort.

"Harry, what are we going to do?" I asked after everyone had left.

"Just wait," he grinned. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." What an odd question…

"Good, hold on."

With that said, we disappeared from 12 Grimmauld Place, only to reappear in front of a fairly nondescript house.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Just wait."

It took a few moments to get passed the wards on the place, marking it as a wizard's home, and a fairly paranoid wizard's home at that. Of course, if they were dating Harry, they probably had good reason to be, as they would be huge targets for Voldemort. We snuck in the back door, and up what must have once been the servants' stairs. 'What a happy spot,' I thought sarcastically.

"Here we are," he said, pushing open a bedroom door.

'This doesn't look too bad,' I thought, examining the surroundings. The walls were a light cream color, while all of the wood was a dark brown, and most of the upholstery was green.

Harry, meanwhile, was digging through the bedside table. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed triumphantly, holding up a cell phone. "Now to just change that." He set to work, setting a custom ringtone. Moments after he finished, we heard footsteps. "Hide!" he hissed, pulling out his invisibility cloak. We crawled under, and he cast a surprising number of spells on us. As he finished, a man walked in from the hallway. He had obviously been showering as his hair was still damp, and he only had a towel.

'If I'm perfectly honest,' I realized. 'I'm not sure if I'm happy he's got that towel on or not. I suppose he's Harry's boyfriend, though.' Glancing over, Harry nodded, confirming my thoughts.

The man had dark hair to just below his shoulders, and deep blue eyes. He made his way towards his armoire, pulling out a black robe. He dropped his towel, and I was extremely grateful that one of the spells Harry had cast had been a silencing spell on them as I let out a surprised squeak. Harry giggled slightly. I shook my head.

The man soon left, grabbing his phone as he went. "I hope he didn't turn it to silent," Harry said. "Come on, we need to hurry, or we'll miss it!"

We got to the bottom of the stairs in time to see many robed figures apparating in. "We better go up farther," Harry murmured. "They won't apparate in farther up."

"Harry, what's going on?"

"Just wait and see," he grinned. When it seemed that all of the expected people were present, we continued down the stairs, following the path the others had taken to the basement.

"Harry, what are we doing?" I asked, coming to conclusions I most certainly didn't like.

"Just watch!" he grinned. We got to the basement. There was a man on a throne in the front of the room, hissing at people. Voldemort.

"Harry, this is stupid! We're going to get caught!" I hissed at him, scared more than I care to admit.

"Of course we will, don't worry so much," Harry grinned, pulling out his cell phone. He hit one, then the call button.

Somewhere in the room, a cell phone went off. 'How could Harry date a Death Eater?' I thought frantically. 'We're going to get killed!' A moment later, I realized what I'd been thinking. "Oh boy, do I have my priorities screwed up."

"Shh," Harry said, waving at me to be quiet. Then I started listening.

"You're my honey bunch, sugar plum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you're my sweety pie. You're my cuppy cake, gumdrop, snoogums-boogums. You're the apple of my eye."

"Whose phone is that?" Voldemort hissed. No one answered.

"Harry, you're going to get him killed!"

"Just wait."

"My lord?" a death eater, soon identified as Lucius Malfoy, said. "I believe it's yours."

"Don't be ridiculous," he snapped. "I don't have…that… Oh, you're going to get it. Accio."

Harry was doubled over giggling too hard to hold onto the cloak. My face went slack as I realized exactly what happened.

"But how…?" was all I could get out.

"There's so many, 'Mione. You'll have to be more specific," Harry managed to get out.

"Potter, I should have known you'd be behind this," Malfoy sighed, almost…resignedly?

"We'll be going now," Harry said, standing up and summoning his cloak back from a not-very-amused Dark Lord. " But I will be back. See you later, Tom!" He winked.

"Harry… Harry… What…?" I couldn't get much more out as we left the room.

"Severus, I thought you said she was the smart one?" I heard Voldemort ask.

"Oh hush up, you," Harry called back. "Come on, Hermione, I'll explain everything."

"You better," I managed to get out, hearing many Death Eaters behind us chuckle…or was that giggle?"

And I love you so and I want you to know

That I'll always be right here

And I love to sing sweet songs to you

Because you are so dear

Author's Note: I couldn't resist. I am, however, working on the next chapter of Still Not In Control. Find it funny? Find it cute? Find it a waste of time? Tell me, I'll probably agree on all three!