TITLE: The Way to a Man's Heart

AUTHOR: endsoftime

PAIRING: ZoroxSanji

RATING:R, for the naughty words...

NOTES: Nada es miyo. Y estoy triste...

"It's fine."

Sanji's eyebrow ticked as he lit a cigarette with less-than-steady fingers.

"Like hell it is."

A long-suffering sigh. "Cook, I said it was fine. Chopper already stitched me up. No big deal."

Sanji let out a tight breath of smoke, glaring hard at the wood floor of the infirmary and refusing to make eye contact with his bandaged lover lying on the cot across the small room. Shoulders hunched, slight tremble in his limbs, and he never said a word.

Silence.

"…Cook?"

"You're such a fucking moron," he muttered.

Low growl, less angry than annoyed. "What was that?"

The blonde's head snapped up, that one visible eye furious and strained with something Sanji would never admit was worry.

"What kind of goddamned 'World's Greatest Swordsman' gets his ass handed to him by a fucking Sea King!?"

Zoro parried with a glare of his own. "When I have to shove trembling, pants-pissing sharpshooters out of the way of stingers the size of goddamn harpoons, then yeah, it's been known to happen, asshole!"

"That's a lame fucking excuse for not dodging the fucking thing before it impaled your fucking shoulder! For shit's sake, Zoro, it almost severed your goddamn arm!"

"Almost. It didn't. And Fuzz-Ball's a miracle worker, anyway. It's no big deal."

Sanji's brow spasmed again under a particularly overworked vein.

"No. Big. Deal!?" he hissed, cigarette snapping in half between grinding teeth.

Like a tightly coiled spring, the cook exploded across the room, pouncing on Zoro and grabbing his strong chin in an unforgiving grip, seething a murderous aura.

"So it's no big fucking deal to you if you lose an arm? One of your precious weapons? Tell me, Zoro, 'cuz I'm dying to know: how well does santōryū work when you only have one fucking arm!?"

Zoro snarled, his good hand lashing out and snagging a handful of the cook's shirt, yanking him down hard, nose-to-nose.

"Well, I don't have only one arm, dumbass! I'm fine! So quit dwelling on some shit that didn't even happen!"

Sanji's heated gaze wavered slightly, something more desperate and embarrassing seeping through as he stared into those confident eyes, so he clenched his teeth and lowered his head, shaking his bangs over his face.

But Zoro just sighed, and eventually grinned .

"Know what, baka-cook?" he asked softer, releasing his fierce hold on the silk shirt, trailing his hand up over that sexy collarbone, over the pale throat, to cup the back of Sanji's head, fingers twisting in soft hair.

Sanji felt the familiar heat of that rough hand travel down his neck, across his shoulders, somehow worming it's way past his ribs, relaxing some weird knot he'd had in the area his heart tended to be. Daring to glance up, the cook's gaze was nailed by those calm, velvet-black eyes, and he saw that grin on Zoro's face, and no, it did not make him swoon. He was a man. Men don't swoon. Unless women were involved. Which they weren't. That annoying fluttering in his gut was nausea at having to look at the shit-swordsman's ugly mug. Definitely….

…well, maybe…

…shit.

Sanji was fucked. He also hadn't answered yet.

"What, aho-marimo?" he said, his voice also much calmer, less angry and tense.

The grin became a smile.

Sanji tried to ignore the gentle heat that lazily bloomed in his gut and gathered across his cheeks.

Then slowly, that welcoming hand pulled the cook down, closer, and Sanji felt warm breath ghost over his ear as a nose nuzzled his blonde hair, and his heart stuttered slightly, tongue darting out to wet his lips even though he knew he shouldn't start anything, had in fact promised Chopper that they wouldn't start anything, although Chopper's concept of "anything" was probably not quite what Sanji now had in mind. But the warmth spreading through his body was pleasant and the closeness was soothing, and Sanji was beginning to forget what, exactly, he'd been so strung out over.

A faint chuckle against his skin.

"You're cute when you worry."

Nice fuzzy feelings evaporated like a water-well in Arabasta.

Sanji felt a different heat blaze through his limbs that had nothing to do with crazy-tender-marimo feelings, and everything to do with hateful-ass-kicking-marimo feelings. Often Sanji couldn't tell the difference.

Zoro never could.

Especially when the first kick landed in his gut.

"Fuck you, asshole!"

"Not now, anyway. Maybe when the stitches come out ─"

"Fucking die!"

"And leave you all alone? No one else will put up with your pansy ass."

"RAAAAGH!" Sanji growled dangerously, gnashing his teeth in frustration at not being able to beat the shit out the bastard like he deserved, and turned sharply on his heel.

Zoro snickered as his seething cook stormed across the room, muttering venomously, and wrenched the infirmary door open. "Love you!" the swordsman called the second Sanji stepped out on the deck.

"Fucking love you too, shitty marimo!"

The door slammed shut.

An eerie silence swallowed the Going Merry suddenly. Zoro gave it five seconds.

It only took two.

"WAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!! SANJI SAID HE LOVED ZORO!!"

"WHAT!? ZORO AND SANJI ARE GAY!? I thought Sanji liked women, but maybe he swings both ways ─ er…n-not th-th-th-that there's a-anything wr-wr-wrong with that, you know…"

"I'LL FUCKING RIP THAT NOSE OFF, SHITTY-GOGGLE-BOY!!"

"SANJI LOVES ZORO! SANJI LOVES ZORO!"

"What the hell is all this racket?!"

"Captain-san, I believe Cook-san said, 'I love you too,' which would mean Swordsman-san said it first."

"Oh Robin, don't encourage them…"

"AAAAAAGH! SANJI'S REALLY MAD!!"

"HOLD STILL, FUCKING SHARP-SHOOTER!!"

"AIIIIIIIII!! SAVE ME!!"

"Doctor-san, shouldn't you be hiding behind the crate?"

"SANJI LOVES ZORO!! ZORO LOVES SANJI!! Oi, Sanji when is lunch? I'm staarving!"

Zoro merely laughed to himself and pillowed his good arm under his head. So it was finally out in the open. Not like it would have stayed secret for long, what with the cook's overactive libido and Luffy's penchant for barreling through doors – locked or otherwise. So finding he didn't really give a damn, Zoro merely drifted off to the oddly soothing sound of his nakama's screams and crashes and whimpers.

Sanji'd probably give Zoro two days of recovery before kicking his ass.

It was definitely love.

Heh heh...(rubs head nervously)...it's been awhile, neh? Sorry! This is the official end, everybody! But just you wait! I've got some more lovelies in store for you!