Left Behind

"it's official. i'm helpless, a hopeless romantic." - inmemory

It was very strange, suddenly being the guy who had to fix things when they weren't right. That had always been Will's area but, now, it seemed that everyone expected him to step up and carry on the crusade whether he wanted to or not. The way they all looked at him now; the sidekicks, the teachers and, God, even Will's old man, — there were days when he wished that he was the one who had died. He thought about running away a lot, even went so far as to pack up a bag, but then someone would call and say, "Warren, please," and so the bag stayed packed and ready under his bed patiently waiting for the day when he would finally get enough of the guts to tell them all to fuck off and leave town forever. Except, he wasn't really sure if he could actually do that, leave them all behind. Will was gone, no one could ever take his place, but everyone expected him to try anyway.

She didn't make things any easier. Always crying and looking off into the distance where he could never, never reach her. Walking around like a ghost with a broken heart. And her heart was broken. She had loved Will. She had seen him die, held him in her arms as his life bled away, red staining her hands. She would love him forever. When he took the blow that would have killed her, Will pretty much made sure that Layla would never be able to love anyone else ever again. Warren thought that he hated the selfish bastard more than a little for that.

There was one time when she had been having a particularly bad week. He found himself sitting beside her on the bus on the way back home from school. He really didn't want to be there, but the others had simply taken it for granted that he would want to try to cheer her up. They spent the whole bus ride in silence, and when she got off, he followed her and walked her home. He didn't say anything at all and she seemed to be grateful for that. He also pretended that he didn't notice she was crying as she walked beside him. When they finally got to her door, she gave him a soft peck on the cheek before she went inside her house. He would have preferred it if she had hit him. That would have hurt less. But, every day after that, he made sure to walk her home.

He even took her to the prom during his senior year. He wanted to ask her to dance, wanted a lot of things that he knew she would never be able to give. So he spent the whole night in one corner of the gym wishing that someone had thought to spike the punch with something stronger, watching her as she sat alone at their table. Her cheeks sparkled when the lights flashed and he knew that it wasn't from the glitter on her skin.

When it came time to go to university, he chose one that was as close to Maxville as possible. He told himself it was because he wanted to be near in case the Commander and Jetstream ever needed his help, but he knew better. During his first night at the dorm, he woke up to the sound of someone knocking urgently on his door. When he opened it, he almost fell over when she threw her whole weight against him, sobbing. "Why'd you have to come all the way here, Warren? Come home. Please!" The next day, he dropped out of all his classes. When his mother came home from work and saw him in the kitchen filling out a late application to the local college, she didn't even bother to ask him why.

He didn't know why he bothered with any of it. He knew that he was stupid and delusional for thinking and feeling certain things, but he couldn't seem to help himself. But, every day, he hoped and, every day, he was disappointed. Then he'd wake up the next day ready to do it all over again. Until the day he didn't have to go through it anymore.

And as he stood by her grave remembering how she had taken the blow that was meant to kill him, he thought that maybe now he could finally learn to hate her, even just a little. Because she had made sure that he would never love anyone else ever again.