The Bigger Picture
I stepped into the house I had recently begun to call my home, with a sense of relief; it had been a very long day, made even longer by the fact that the sun had decided to make an unwelcome visit to forks. As I stumbled my across the door way I was surprised that I wasn't engulfed in the arms I had been craving all day.
I looked around only to find Rosalie sitting on the sofa lazily alternating between blowing on her drying fingernails and flipping channels. She looked up as I walked into the room and offered a slight smile as I made my way across the room to take my place in the leather lazy boy in the corner. Rosalie's and my relationship had taken on a more positive note ever since she told me her story, but it was still far from any thing that could be considered a friendship. She still couldn't understand why I wanted the life she already had, and she was still a little more then angry that I was willing to throw away the one thing I had that she wanted, and even a little more jealous that I had the ability to. I wanted her to understand but I didn't know how to start and I was a little more then intimidated by the beautiful blond that sat only a few feet away from me. I thought about how I would soon become something similar to what she is now, not to mention I had to spend the rest of eternity with her, I figured I might as well try.
"So…" I started before I chickened out, her head instinctively swiveled to meet my eyes, she looked at me for a few seconds waiting for me to finish my sentence, after sitting like that for a few moments she must have decided that I was incoherent and turned back to her previous activities.
Come on Bella, what are you so afraid of? You can take on revenge seeking, blood thirsty vampires but you can't start a conversation with Rosalie?
Feeling properly chastised I took a deep breath and started again,
"So…" I flinched as her head swiveled once again to face in my direction, it's now or never, I thought to myself.
"Would you mind if I asked you a question?"
"Sure Bella, what is it?" she answered politely while slight amusement danced through her eyes,
"I was just wondering… if you had to pick between being a vampire or never meeting Emmet what would you choose?" obviously not expecting this question she took her time turning the power off and then resituating herself on the couch so she could face me,
"Well, if I had to choose there is no doubt in my mind I would pick being a vampire. I can't imagine my life without Emmett; I don't think I could ever truly have one to be honest."
"Even if it meant you had to give up every human thing and moment to be with him? Including having children?" again she took her time answering, clearly thinking it through and analyzing her next words,
"I guess that… I would, but since I have never had to make the decision I can't tell you for sure, I'd like to think I would but I can't be sure I could ever be that brave…" I thought about that for a second, did it really have anything to do with bravery? Not really, I didn't feel any more brave then I had before I had made my decision.
"Could you really consider aging, losing your physical beauty, and slowly your life; knowing that Emmett would never change, never understand fully you were feeling, and finally at the very end, the very last moment, of the very last breath, could you really say goodbye?" I finally looked up to meet her gaze and in that instant I realized that if she had the ability, she would be crying right now, I also knew in that moment that her answer was no, no she could not. Finally after what felt like an eternity she answered me,
"No I couldn't, it wouldn't matter what little things I had to give up, if they were in favor of the bigger picture." I sat and watched as the realization slowly dawned on her exquisite features.
"So if I couldn't make the decision, how could I expect you to, and by picturing that depressing future how can I expect you to willingly walk into it?" She drew a deep breath and began to speak again,
"Edward was wrong, you have definitely thought this through, though I don't quite understand how you could so willingly throw your life away, I definitely understand why you would want to, especially if you love Edward even half as much as he loves you." I hear a sigh of resignation as I wipe the tears from my eyes,
"Thank you Rosalie you have no idea how much that means to me." I sigh still desperately trying to stop the never-ending flow being dispelled from my tear ducts; this was certainly an ability I wouldn't miss.
"No, thank you Bella, for showing me how much I need Emmett and how lucky I am to have felt the love I feel each and every day, after so many years it is hard to remember the things that made you smile. I can honestly look you in eyes and tell you that I am proud to call you my sister and even luckier to call you my friend." With that the tears began flowing anew and I couldn't contain the relief and happiness I felt to finally be accepted by this amazing woman standing in front of me. I felt her cold arms wrap around my shoulders and draw me into a bone crushing hug, I could see the corners of a smile identical to mine slowly spreading across her features until it finally reached her eyes, then suddenly she drew back and took a deep breath,
"I would wipe those tears if I were you Bella, Edwards home and if he walks in and sees your tears; my ass will be on the line." I giggle as I slowly wipe the tears from my eyes and stand up to make my way to the door.
As I walk past Rosalie reaches out, grabs my hand and gently squeezing it before letting go and making her way to the door just before she reaches it, it springs open and in flies my own personal god, and then hers. She flings her arms around his neck and gives him a very intense kiss, one I felt slightly invasive for witnessing.
"Wow, Rose if I knew that was the reception I was going to get I would have run home faster." Came Emmett's amused reply loudly echoing throughout the room. Just then I feel a set of chiseled arms wrap around my waist and hug me closer to their body, I smile and slowly turn my head to get a better look at my angel,
"You can thank Bella," was Rosalie's giddy response, she then turned to me, winked and then looked earnestly over my right shoulder for a second, then she was gone, along with Emmett, I decided it wasn't something I was willing to look any further into. I hear a loud "Thank you Bella," echo down the stairs and then slight giggling.
Suddenly I am sitting on the loveseat, or to be more accurate, on Edward who is sitting on the loveseat.
"Bella honey, you have tears in your eyes what's wrong?"
"Nothing, what did Rosalie tell you just now?" is my quick response as I quickly duck my head and swipe at my eyes for what seems like the hundredth time today.
"She wanted to tell me how lucky I was to have you, and to tell me not to screw it up," he chuckles and then continues "and I have to say I do agree with her, I am very lucky." I shiver as he lowers his lips down to the base of my throat, "What were you guys talking about anyway?"
"Oh nothing…" I gasp while trying to concentrate on keeping the air flowing through my lungs, he laughs and replies, "It must have been something to make you cry, and her praise you…"
"It was nothing really… we were just discussing the bigger picture." I smile and then lower my lips for a quick kiss from his confused lips.