All through the Night
Ed awoke in a panicked frenzy, his heart pounding, and cold sweat dripping down his neck. He had been dreaming that dream again. The dream that always made him wake-up crying out for his brother Alphonse; the cursed dream that replayed that horrible night so many years ago when Al had lost his body.
Ever so often Ed's subconscious would decide to awaken those painful memories forcing him to relive his mistake in his dreams. In the past he would wake up to Al at his side, letting him know every thing was all right. But this time Ed woke up alone.
Guilts icy fingers once again wrapped themselves around Edwards core. He shuttered at the sensation of tangible shame eating away at him.
The first rays of the morning sun touched the eastern sky outside his window. He thought he could hear the faintest sounds of stirring down stairs. Ed got out of bed the monster of remorse getting up with him.
"Morning Edward." Gracia said in her usual cheery way, She scraped a serving of eggs onto Eds plate. He smiled weakly at her.
"Thanks Mrs. Hughes" he tried returning her cheer, but failed. His mind recalled the night before, his little chat with Hughes; he picked up his fork and poked the eggs. He had practically promised the Lieutenant Colonel that he would not starve himself; his own stomach had been grateful last night. But now that familiar feeling began to overtake him.
'You dare to eat while your brother cannot.' it whispered to him. 'You don't deserve to consume your fill while your brother suffers because of what you did to him. You worthless piece of sh-'
"Good morning Edward." Hughes said making his usual appearance at breakfast, a copy of the morning edition in his hands.
Seeing Hughes Ed forked a mouthful of eggs into his mouth. Partly to keep from having to speak to him and partly because he didn't want to chance him admonishing his eating. But Hughes never brought up the subject, or even hinted at it all during breakfast.
"We better get going Ed," Hughes said finishing up the last of his coffee.
"Alright, I'll be right there I forgot something upstairs." Ed said excusing himself and practically running upstairs to the bathroom. He knew what he had to do, he had promised Hughes he would eat, but he had not promised him he would keep it down. Ed took a deep breath, 'your deserve this' the voice prodded him. 'This is the only way of making it right.' Ed closed his eyes then expelled his breakfast.
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"ROY, have you heard the latest news!" Maes Hughes said bursting into Mustangs office.
"What, that your late for our 3:15 meeting?" Mustang said annoyed not looking up from the papers he was sighing.
"No, you clock watching freak!" Hughes answered thrusting a photograph under the Colonels nose. "Elisa has taken up a new hobby…finger-painting, can you believe it.!!"
"Its hard to believe Hughes, now where is that roster that I asked you for last week ." Mustang said a touch of frustration lining his words.
"Fine, fine, if you're going to be that way about it." Hughes said acting miffed as he pocketed his picture and dropped the file on Mustangs desk. "I guess, you're still mad about losing that bet." Hughes plopped down in the chair facing Roy and propped his feet on Mustangs desk.
"Speaking of, how has Fullmetal been behaving himself, I mean at home." Roy said thumbing thought he report.
"He has had a few bumps but that's to be expected considering all he had been through. Sometimes I wonder how he has managed to keep his sanity this long."
"He's a tough kid." Mustangs voice betrayed a hint of admiration.
"Not as tough as he would like everyone to think." Roy raised an eyebrow but said nothing letting Hughes continue.
"He's a good kid though….and after this past week, I think we have made it past the worst of it."
"Colonel Mustang!, HUGHES!!" the door to Roys office burst open revealing a red face solider who was panting it was obvious he had been running full out. "Sergeant Fuery sent me to get you, Its Fullmetal!!..he has passed out on the obstacle course!!"
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Edward had no idea what had happened, one minuet he had been climbing the 20-foot vertical rope climb, and the next he was laying flat on his back in Hughes office. he could hear the alarmed voice of Sergeant Fuery grow louder and he gained consciousness.
"I'm sorry Lieutenant Colonel this is my fault, maybe if I had tested the rope first, or made sure that Edward was properly hydrated or if I had only-"
"Fuery, you are one of the best drill Sergeant this military has seen in decades, you don't have any reason to beat yourself up over this. I have already received the doctor's medical report; this had nothing to do with your training procedures." Fuery gave an audible sigh and Hughes dismissed him.
Fullmetal heard the door close. it was an awkward moment, As much as Ed wanted to feign unconsciousness, he knew he was only delaying the inevitable, he took a breath and sat up, and was surprised at how much better he felt. Before he passed out, his muscles had been feeling fatigue and he had sharp pains in his abdomen. Now his head felt clear and his body was relaxed.
"Feeling better?" Hughes voice sounded from his desk, Ed looked up and saw he wasn't even looking at him. Ed bit his bottom lip.
"Yes, sir I do.
"Well you should, after the doctors examined you and found you dehydrated and your blood sugar levels rock bottom. They had to give you an IV, and several injections to stabilize your system." Ed looked down at his arm and saw the small bruise left over from the needles entry point. He was glad he had been unconscious for that part.
"Ed I cant begin to tell you how disappointed I am in you. I don't understand why you insist on putting your self at risk like this. I was sure after last night you understood how serious this is." Hughes now stood up, his face looking grave. "I had hoped it would not come to this, I thought maybe if I showed you some slack you would come around on your own." Hughes looked away a pained look on his usually optimistic face "I guess I was wrong."
Ed felt awful, what Hughes had said felt like a slap to his face.
"You lied to me Edward. The doctors report says your throat and esophagus had signs of induced vomiting, and by the scar tissue, he says it's been something going on for a long time."
Ed looked away his jaw set, his face red, he felt the familiar stubbornness rise in his chest defiant.
"Its not that big a deal." he muttered in a heavy voice. He felt his stomach tighten at his words, then without a seconds warning he felt himself hoisted from where he sat, his world spilling over and he found himself staring at the floor. A sudden shock of pain exploded over the seat of his pants.
Hughes had the boy pinned to across his lap delivering a set of solid swats with the all too familiar paddle.
"This Edward…. IS- A- VERY- BIG- DEAL!" Hughes said punctuating his words with each blow to Eds posterior.
Ed had been so overcome by shock it took him a full 30 seconds to realize what was happening to him. Hughes was spanking him, and very hard by the feel of it. Ed gasped and struggled to get away, but Hughes had him in a vice like grip, his arm pinned behind him.
"OW! STOP..W-why are you DOING THIS! OW!" Ed said still struggling, the burning in his backside starting to become unbearable with each smack.
"Because, you apparently don't take hints very well." Hughes said landing each stroke evenly and precisely. "You have lied to me, you have no regard for your own safety, and if someone doesn't get through to you soon you're going to find yourself 6 feet deep!"
A dry sob caught in Eds dry throat. Not only from the thrashing Hughes was giving him, but from the reality of what the man had just said. Edward gritted his teeth he ceased trying to escape Hughes, but he was resolved to not cry, even though he could not help but yelp at every blow.
"I'm Sorry Hughes, PLEASE STOP!" Ed tried, hoping an apology could end Hughes resolve to set his tail on fire.
"Why are you doing this Ed." Hughes said ignoring Fullmetals plea. "Is it some stupid endurance thing?" Hughes said landing a particularly hard swat right on Eds sit spot. Ed jerked his head and let out a harsh cry.
"NO!"
"Trying to prove, you're a tough guy."
"NO!!" Ed wailed this time. Hughes wasn't letting up, determined to get to the bottom of this issue.
"Trying to impress some girl!?"
"I'M DOING IT FOR MY BROTHER!" Ed suddenly cried out this time tears running down his face, Hughes stopped half swing, as the boy on his lap suddenly crumbled into heart wrenching sobs. "I-its my fault…its all my fault." he repeated his shoulders shaking, Hughes reached and pulled Ed up and held him closely, letting him cry out the tears of guilt that had been haunting him for so long.
"Its my fault that Alphonse is trapped in that metal armor, Hughes, Its my fault that he cant eat, or feel anything anymore. Its not fair that I get to enjoy the very basics in life when he feels nothing because of me." Eds crying became harder as he spilled all his most dark thoughts. Hughes held him in the embrace, feeling the boys tremble and shake as he finally released the horrible monster inside that had enslaved him in the vicious circle of self-abuse.
Slowly Eds cries and confessions faded away leaving Hughes brushing away the streaks of tears that trailed down Eds red swollen cheeks.
"You know Ed, you could have made this a lot easier on yourself if you would have just told me this from the very beginning." Hughes said setting Edward back on his feet.
Ed shrugged his shoulders letting out a sigh. "To tell you the truth Lieutenant Colonel, right now I wish I had." He said rubbing his backside. Hughes let out a chuckle; it felt good to Ed to see the man not displeased with him anymore.
"A good nights rest and you will be as good as new." Hughes said standing. "Lets head home, it's the weekend, and if I am not mistaken Gracia is making stew tonight."
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Edward was never so glad to as they pulled into the driveway of Hughes house; the boy was exhausted and quite hungry, though Hughes advised him to take it easy on his first meal he was planning to keep down.
Ed opened the front door and prepared to leap to one side to avoid Elicia when he felt something slam full force into him.
"BROTHER!" Alphonse said his voice on the verge of a squeal as he had grabbed Edward and picked him up off his feet in a huge hug.
"AL!!" Ed gasped in utter shock trying to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him. "What are you doing here? I thought we weren't allowed to see each other!"
"Oh! Ed, isn't it wonderful! Mustang fixed it so I can stay on weekends since you don't have training those days!" Al said, his metallic ringing voice sounding like music to Edwards's ears.
"Oh, Alphonse I have missed you so much." Ed said pressing his face against Als cool metal body. Tears for the second time that day spilled over Eds cheeks.
"Brother, you're crying! Are you alright?"
"Oh Al I have never been more alright. Lets go inside, I have so much to tell you."
--The End--
--Authors Notes--
Yes, it's finally the end, please don't shed too many tears….I honestly feel I have written this one to its full. I had so much fun writing this and enjoyed writing Edwards reality-based issues; And the comfort and love that Hughes could give him, even when he had to give him some tough love. ;) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, as they have been the driving force in continuing this story.