How to Tell When a Girl Likes You
"I know something you don't know," Jack sing-songed as he strode giddily into Daniel's office.
Irritated at the unwelcome interruption, Daniel snapped, "I'm sure there are lots of things you know that I don't, like the price of adult diapers."
Jack's crestfallen face made guilt immediately replace Daniel's earlier annoyance. Sullenly, Jack moaned, "I come in here to share an important secret with you, and you make fun of my age?"
Daniel removed his glasses and rubbed at the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sorry, Jack. I've been working on this translation for months now, and I'm so close to finishing." With sudden excitement the younger man gushed, "I think this text is detailing the lineage of the Norse gods. Which makes this a kind of history of the Asgard, and…" The glazed look in Jack's eyes made Daniel drop out of lecture-mode. "Anyway, that's no excuse. What did you want to tell me?"
"Don't wanna say now. You were mean," Jack muttered, folding his arms across his chest in a move anyone else would recognize as signature Daniel.
Daniel fought down a smile. Jack was really cute when he pouted. He put on a repentant expression and wheedled, "Come on Jack. I said I was sorry. I really, really want to know."
Jack responded by smiling brightly and shaking his head. "Uh, uh. Not telling."
"Jack" Daniel managed to infuse the word with irritation, exasperation, and amusement. Not for nothing was he the SGC's top linguist.
"Yes, Daniel?"
"Either tell me or leave me in peace," Daniel scowled.
"Okay. I'll just be leaving then. Maybe Carter will be nice to me," Jack tossed this last over his shoulder as he started marching toward the door.
"Good," Daniel called after him.
"Fine," Jack said as he disappeared out the door.
Daniel looked back at the text he was working on, but his attention was gone. Damn it Jack! Daniel thought with a huff as he threw his pencil on the desk and followed after the Colonel. As he reached the threshold he ran headlong into something solid.
"Ow!" Jack rubbed his head as Daniel automatically reached out to steady the other man. "Whaddya do that for?"
"Believe it or not Jack, that was not intentional," Daniel griped while gingerly feeling his own forehead for bruises. "What are you doing back here? I thought you'd gone to tell Sam your big secret."
"I decided to put you out of your misery."
"Thanks Jack. That's very generous," Daniel said with all the sincerity of a peace-promising Gou'ald.
"I thought so," the Colonel agreed magnanimously. "And all you have to do is ask nicely."
"Jaaaack," Daniel whined.
"Daaaaniel," Jack mocked back.
The two men stared at each other stubbornly, fighting back smiles for a few minutes until Daniel gave into the inevitable.
Sighing dramatically to show what a burden this was Daniel sweetly asked, "Jack, won't you please share your secret with me?"
"Of course Daniel, anything for you." Seeing the murder in his friend's eyes, he hastily continued, "You've got yourself an admirer."
At that, Daniel looked truly taken aback. He frowned in confusion. "What?"
"An admirer, a fan, a devotee of all things Jacksonian." Jack elaborated helpfully.
Daniel opened his mouth, flushed, and closed it again. Jack answered the unspoken question, "Maria, Doc Fraiser's new assistant."
"I haven't notice any new nurses," Daniel noted, his confusion growing.
"Pay attention, professor. She's not a nurse. She's a personal assistant," Jack corrected.
"You mean she's Janet's secretary," Daniel clarified.
"Secretary? That's not very PC, Dr. Jackson," Jack scolded.
"Sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities." The sarcasm was so thick; Jack could almost see it dripping out of the other man's mouth. Switching gears midstream Daniel asked curiously, "What makes you think she likes me?"
Jack smiled affectionately. "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. It's so obvious! Follow me."
Using all of his special ops training, Jack led them quietly to Level 21. Daniel bemusedly played along and followed Jack's lead. When they arrived at the infirmary, Jack did a quick visual sweep of the nearly-deserted area before making hand signals at his partner-in-crime.
The linguist raised an eyebrow in confusion before shrugging and stepping into the main medical bay. He was aware of Jack reaching out to stop him but decided to ignore his team leader's obvious distress.
A pretty young woman was talking to Janet as Jack reluctantly followed his friend into the room. Janet noticed the two members of SG-1 first.
"Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson, is everything okay?" she asked with concern.
Daniel was only vaguely aware of Jack spinning some story next to him. He was studying the reaction of the other woman in the room. She had spun around too quickly when Janet spoke their names and accidentally dropped the papers she had been holding. Daniel approached her to help and noticed her intense blush. He handed her the folders and was rewarded with a beautiful smile and warm green eyes.
Jack was right. She definitely had a crush on him, the poor thing. Then Jack was next to him, warm arm slung over his shoulders, warmer breath tickling his ear as he whispered, "That's how you know a girl likes you."
Maria narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Jack's friendly arm, and alarm bells went off in Daniel's head. Apparently Jack was hearing them too, because he hastily dropped his arm and made their goodbyes to Janet.
Once safely in the hall, Jack began laughing. "You always seem to attract the psycho ones."
Before Daniel could defend himself they heard a voice calling, "Dr. Jackson? Daniel?"
The two men looked at each other in alarm and said in unison, "Maria."
Looking around frantically, Jack grabbed Daniel and hauled him into a nearby storage closet. Once inside he pressed Daniel into the door with his body, and they listened in tense silence to the sounds of Maria's search.
After the footsteps moved past the door, Daniel became alarmingly aware of the warm weight of Jack pressed firmly against him. Jack seemed to notice at the same time; but instead of moving away, he pressed a soft, tentative kiss just below Daniel's ear. When he got no protest he placed another kiss on the archeologist's jaw.
"Jack?" Daniel breathed the name questioningly.
"Daniel?" Jack answered his warm breath ghosting over Daniel's cheek.
"How can you tell if a boy likes you?" the younger man asked with perfect seriousness.
As Jack closed the millimeter of space between their lips he murmured, "Like this."