Title: Broken Promises

Author: Tsarina Smith

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: JAG isn't mine. If it was, nothing after season 8 would have happened.

Spoilers: The whole series is fair game, but there are "spoilers" from my previous story Twenty-Six Weekends. You don't need to read that to understand this, but it might be helpful.

Summary: They had the perfect marriage until Harm makes a mistake that could cost him everything.

Authors Notes: Ok. I've wanted to write an angsty fic for a while, and right now angst totally fits my mood. Also, I was accused last time of being unfair to Harm and so I feel kinda guilty for writing this the way I am, but oh well. One thing though: I will not write anything resembling a soap opera. I've had a few friends/coworkers in the past few months that have faced infidelity in their marriages and why being there for them I've thought a lot about this and I want to write this in (what I think) is a somewhat realistic manner. That being said: feedback (both positive and CONSTRUCTIVE) is encouraged and appreciated.

Part One

California was beautiful this time of year, but he was ready to go home and return to his wife. Harm sighed and erased the dry erase board, in preparation for his next class but could not tear his thoughts away from his wife. They had been married a little less than a year, and he had spent the past month here while she was home in Virginia. Whoever said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' was full of crap. Once the board was clean, he picked up a marker and began writing down the lesson for his next group of eager young pilots, trying very carefully to keep his inner turmoil out of his mind long enough to legibly print some words and construct some diagrams.

He was beginning to feel that the physical distance was taking a toll on his marriage. They had only seen each other once in the month he had been gone and their phone calls were getting shorter and less intimate. He sighed, 'this assignment could not have come at a worse time'. Before he left, they had begun to discuss starting a family. Mac had been elated when they threw away her birth control pills and when their doctors had told them that despite their ages, nothing was standing in the way of having children. The sparkle in her eyes had made him feel like all of her dreams were coming true and made him feel as if the universe was giving them both the chance to make up for their less than perfect childhoods. Being parents was extremely important to both of them, and a new adventure he was looking forward to embarking on if he was ever able to return home.

He glanced at his watch, capped the marker and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number to their Falls Church apartment and waited impatiently for her to answer.

"Hello?"

He frowned, knowing she couldn't see him. She sounded winded, but he could detect the smile in her voice. "Mac? Everything okay?"

"Harm!" She smiled and settled onto the sofa. "Everything is wonderful. I just finished jogging. Are you ok? You usually don't call me until you're home from work."

"I know. I was just thinking about you and needed to hear your voice."

"Well that's good to know. I miss you."

"I miss you too. So much, Sarah."

Her heart warmed and she twisted the cord around her finger. "Any idea when you'll get to come home?" She heard his sigh and frowned. "That soon, huh?"

"Captain Malloy is improving, but the doctors think at least another week before he's ready to come back to work."

"So there's a chance you won't be here for our anniversary?" The thought made her sick to her stomach and she blinked back the tears that threatened to overflow.

"Honey, I'll do whatever I can."

"I know you will. This just sucks. Sometimes I wish our jobs didn't dictate so much of our lives."

"I know, Sarah." He leaned back in the uncomfortable desk chair and sighed. "So how has work been?"

"It's been pretty good. The new lawyer is working out well."

"What new lawyer?"

"His name is Brent Tillman. He's a Lieutenant Commander, just transferred here from the JAG offices in Italy."

"Huh." He hated the twinge of insecurity he felt in his belly, and quickly scribbled the name down so he could look him up. "Gone up against him in court yet?"

"Nope. We're working a case together right now though. He's doing a good job. Nothing like Singer. He actually cares about the law and about justice, not just winning. I think you'll like him."

"I'm sure I will."

"Honey, I hate to cut this short, but I was actually about to get ready and meet some of our coworkers for dinner. Will you call me when you get home tonight?"

He sighed softly. "Of course. Love you."

"I love you too, honey. And I miss you so much."

"Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up his phone and buried his head in his hands. He doesn't understand why he is so affected by this. He and Mac had been apart before. Granted, not since they've been married and not for this long. But it shouldn't be bothering him this much. He loved and trusted his wife, but couldn't shake the feeling that the physical distance between them was causing emotional distance in their marriage. He lifted his had and moved the mouse so that the computer screen would wake up. He logged into a database and typed in the name of her co-counsel. Once his information and picture had loaded, he couldn't help but stifle a groan. This was not what he needed right now.

After his final class, he went to the VOQ, changed out of his uniform and drove off base for dinner. He went into this smoky dive he had become somewhat of a regular at. He took his normal seat at the bar and asked the bartender for a beer and a shrimp caesar salad. You wouldn't know it by the décor, but this place had the best food around. He waited for a few minutes for his food to come out, quietly nursing his drink. He wondered what Mac was doing right now. He knew he was supposed to call her when he got off work, but he didn't want to take the chance that she was still at dinner and have to listen to their friends laughing and talking in the background. He was nearly to the point where he wanted to tell his CO's that they could take this assignment and shove it, because damn it, he missed his wife.

Pushing his beer aside, he picked up the phone and waited to be connected to the familiar number.

"Colonel Rabb's phone."

"Harriet?"

"Sir, is everything okay?"

"I could be asking you the same question."

"Sorry Sir, everything is fine. Mac and Brent are playing pool, and when I saw your name on the caller ID, I thought I would answer so I could say 'hi'. We miss you, sir."

His stomach clenched and his hand tightened around the phone. "I miss all of you too, Harriet."

"Want me to get Mac?"

"Nah, I'll try calling her again later."

"Have a goodnight, Sir."

"You too, Harriet." He hung up the phone and it took all of the self control he possessed not to slam the thing against the bar top. Instead, he finished off his beer and signaled for another one.

Sometime between the second and third beers, he noticed a young woman sitting next to him, twirling the plastic stirrer around her glass. "You look like I feel." He said dejectedly.

She looked up and smiled sadly. "Likewise." She stilled her movements and then looked down at the amber liquid and melting ice. "Ever feel like your life just sucks?"

Harm nodded. "Generally, no. But the past few weeks, oh yeah."

"What's your story?"

He swiveled the stool to face her. "Well, I'm out here for work and I'm ready to go home. I miss my wife, I miss my friends and I just feel like my life is moving on without me and I'm getting left behind."

"Military?"

He nodded, surprised.

"I know how you feel. My husband is on a damned ship right now and I hate it. Whatever he's doing is 'top-secret' and I haven't heard from him in months. I don't know if he's alive or dead and I'm starting to hate the words "I'm sorry ma'am, but that's classified"."

Harm chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, it does suck. I've been on both sides, and let me tell ya, it's not any easier for him."

She nodded. "Logically I know that. But in my heart, I just miss him so much. We've been married for 5 years and we've spent more time apart than we have together."

"My wife and I have been together for almost a year, and now I'm not sure if I'll be done with this assignment in time for us to be together for our anniversary."

"That's rough." She said, sympathetically.

"Eh. Whatever. At least she has her friends to keep her company."

"I detect some bitterness. You don't like her friends?"

He paused before answering. "I love most of them. Most of them are our friends and are more like family than friends. It's the new guy I've never met who seems to be spending a lot of time with my wife I'm not too sure about."

"Has she given you any reason to doubt her?"

He sighed. "Honestly? Yeah. Our first real kiss was the night of her engagement party to another man."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I know she loves me. I have no doubt. But when I miss her this much and I'm this depressed, I can't help but wonder..." He trailed off and downed the last of his beer.

"I know." She signaled the bartender for another drink. When he sat a fresh glass in front of her, she looked at Harm and smiled. "And one for my friend here as well." She took a sip and then held out her hand. "I'm Lucy."

"Harm. Nice to meet you."

The strong liquid burned her throat going down, and once she recovered, she flashed him a smile and said "the pleasure is mine."

Harm's eyes slowly opened and shut again immediately. 'Too. Bright.' He took a deep breath and tried again. He felt like absolute crap. His mouth had had the sourest taste know to mankind and felt like someone has filled it with cotton balls. His throbbing head was aggravated by any movement and his body ached in ways he didn't even know was still possible anymore. He finally managed to open his eyes and was taken aback by the unfamiliar surroundings. The lacy blue curtains weren't what he was used to; nor was the pale yellow walls and light oak furniture. He sat straight up; trying to ignore the pain and figure out what the hell was going on. Closing his eyes in a quick, silent prayer, he looked to his left.

"Oh fuck." He muttered. The woman from last night was still asleep next to him. The blanket was pulled up to her breasts, so he wasn't one hundred percent sure, but she looked to be as naked as he was.

He dropped his throbbing head to his hands and began to massage his temples.

'Oh God, what have I done?'

End Part One

OK. None of you are allowed to hate me, okay? Just have faith and keep reading.