Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story

Warning: Shounen-ai, homosexual relationships, etc, etc.

Author's Note: Yea… Another one-shot. This one, however, has nothing to do with HIV. This is borderline SMUT, but I wanted to do a Riku x Sora relationship analysis type of thing… Ish.

Also – this is EXPLICIT.

DO NOT read if that will OFFEND you.

I've Got You

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By: Freekiwi

It used to be an automatic response for me to wrap my arms around Sora's small frame when he shook and sniffled. It used to be an automatic response for me to kiss his ear and whisper 'I've got you' to him when he cried. I used to know when it was coming and I used to know what would trigger those wet droplets that fell delicately from reddened cheeks.

I used to know every thing about Sora.

Now I just consider myself lucky to have the memories.

In order to understand any of this, you need to understand that I graduated number one in my class with a GPA of 4.58 or something like that. You need to understand that I majored in politics when I did my four years of college. You need to understand that I enlisted in the military and you need to understand that that was when Sora Lapchick decided to leave me.

All because of a stupid fucking career move.

He's a pacifist.

Which is a pretty funny word for him considering he was always talking about being a super hero. He used to justify wanting to hurt people because they were 'bad' and 'deserved it'. But he disagreed with the military and for the life of me, I could never figure out why.

It's two in the morning on a Wednesday night during my junior year of high school and I'm groggy as hell. It's snowing outside – and by snowing, I mean blizzarding – and I'm slowly waking up to realize my boyfriend is running his lips along my chest, making little designs and writing things with the tip of his tongue.

Automatically, my hand curls into those brown spikes of hair and I yank slightly, giving him a little jerk and he flicks one of my nipples with his tongue. He's good with his tongue and I'm not just saying that. Sora put that muscle to good use in more ways than just idle chatter.

"Mm… Stop." I say this, but what I really mean is 'go lower'. "We have school in the morning." and what I really mean is 'PLEASE go lower'. "We won't wake up and we'll be late and get in trouble…" and what I really, actually mean is 'take off my pants'.

And Sora gets it.

He translates my words better than anyone else.

"It's snowing," his tongue dips into the small hole of my belly-button and I lurch slightly. My belly-button is extremely sensitive. "We won't be in school tomorrow. I guarantee it." his fingers work the zipper on my shorts because I never bothered to take them off before crawling into bed. "Besides, even if we are in school, what's so bad about being late?"

His hands work to gently pull my semi-hard cock through the hole in my boxers and the zipper of my pants. I like my lips and then I bite my lower lip as his fingers ghost up and down my shaft.

He's teasing me.

His lips press lightly against the head of my cock and I want to grab his head and force him down on me, but I don't. Instead, I shudder and I twist slightly and he places a hand on my hip, finger nails digging against the bone and flesh. It hurts and I like it and he's egging me on.

He wants me to be rough with him.

But I don't. I don't because I'm scared of hurting him. I know the damage I could do to a body that small and he's oblivious to it.

He's just some sophomore kid.

He's just some scrawny, skinny, sophomore kid with tired eyes and a lonely heart.

And a really epic mouth.

"Do it…" I plead and Sora goes down on me, engulfing half of my erection in his hot, wet mouth. I let out a shaky breath, moaning gently and I grip his hair even tighter. He looks good bobbing up and down like that. He looks good when he's giving me head.

Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming or sleep walking or someone's captured my body and puts me in positions I don't know how to deal with. Sometimes I wonder how the fuck I ended up on top of Sora, naked and sweaty with just the head of my erection prodding at his slicked entrance.

Sometimes I wonder how I talked him in to sleeping with me.

It's commonly known I'm a sleaze, but Sora? He doesn't seem to care. We've been dating for six months and sex had never been the main objective for me.

…

I'm lying.

Sort of.

It hasn't been the main objective, buuuut…

Well, let's just say it's up there on my list of priorities.

I'm staring down at Sora who looks absolutely amazing soaked in sweat with his face scrunched in pain. He looks like he's ready to cry and I lick my lips, whispering if I should stop. If he's okay, if I should try to push in more… Question after question and Sora is shaking his head to everything.

And then he says:

"Just go."

I push more into him, slowly, and a symphony of 'ows' leave pretty pink lips. He writhes against the sheets and his hands are gripping my waist, squeezing the flesh, finger nails digging against the skin and I let out a small growl. It hurts and Sora seems to realize this, but he lets go and grips onto the blanket.

I push in more and Sora arches back on the bed and more 'ows' leave his mouth. I feel bad and I don't know what to do. I'm torn between pulling out and just pushing in and when I make a slight movement, he squeaks a little loudly and I tell him to 'shh'.

I coo it.

It's not like…

A prison 'shh' or something.

I've got a LITTLE class.

"It hurts," his voice breaks slightly and I note that his eyes are wet. Briefly, I wonder if it's just from having them shut so tightly, but then his face scrunches and I know he's about to cry.

I know this because he scrunches his face to make himself look likes he's NOT about to cry.

"Shh, shh…" I coo, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. "It's all right…" I wiggle myself out of him and he offers a small noise – something that just erupts from the back of his throat and I wrap my arms around him, cuddling him close and pressing a kiss to his ear.

His sniffles fill the silent bedroom with noise and gently, I whisper to him:

"I've got you."

And Sora seems greatly moved by these three words.

I'm pissed.

Really fucking PISSED and I'm walking away from the school grounds with my shoulder bag clutched so tightly in my hand, my knuckles are turning white. I am so seething angry and all I can think about is Sora and fucking Axel.

Fucking, fucking, FUCKING Axel.

"Riku!"

Automatically, I turn around even though I know its Sora's voice. I know it's his voice, but I am so used to turning towards him when he needs me, that it has become one of those automatic responses. I'm at the beginning of my senior year and Sora is at the beginning of his junior year and Axel can just…

Fucking DIE.

"What?" I yell it and I throw my bag onto the ground and it spills open and all my shit falls out. It wasn't closed because I didn't close it. It wasn't closed because I get mad and revert to caveman knowledge.

But I pretend I meant to do that, so I don't look like such an ass.

"What is your problem?!" Sora looks just as upset as I do.

"You were all over him! Jesus! You might as well have just given him a blow job in the fucking courtyard!" my shoulders rise and fall with each breath and I know that as I say this, I know it's mostly untrue.

It wasn't quite like that, but…

Fuck – Sora was tickling him. Hanging on him and laughing and giggling and playing with him while I was standing there! And I know him. I know him all too well now to know that it wasn't just a social faux pa. I know him all too well now that I know why he was doing that with my best friend.

"Really?!" Sora yells at me. "Because last week, you were getting pretty fucking cozy with Kairi!" his hands are clenched into little fists and he looks positively hurt and I feed on the hurt in his pretty eyes.

"Kairi's a GIRL. I'm gay!" I defend. "Axel is gay and you're gay and you're both guys and… Fuck! There's a lot more possibilities there! And it's embarrassing when my BOYFRIEND is all over my best friend when I'm around!"

Honestly?

The embarrassment is only the embarrassment I feel from not having control.

"So what if she's a girl?! You were still all over her! You were grabbing her chest!" Sora licks his lips and he's nervous, so he swallows hard.

"We were playing!" and Kairi and I had been playing.

"Well, so were Axel and I!" and I supposed they had been playing, too.

I stand there and I look away. I look at the ground, then the sky, then my shit scattered all over the pavement and I blink hard, trying to find somewhere else to look. Anywhere but at Sora because I hate seeing him so hurt like this. But for some reason, we ALWAYS do this to each other. I flirt with someone to piss him off and he flirts with someone to piss me off.

I don't know why we do it.

Probably because we hardly ever have anything to fight about.

"I hate you." Sora spits and I know he doesn't mean it, but it still hurts.

"That's fine." I squat on the ground and I shove my books and pens and papers back into my bag, closing it up this time. "That's fine," I repeat before standing back up.

My boyfriend's chest rises and falls and he walks over to and slaps my face in a very defeated manner. In a manner that just screams 'I want to hit you so badly but I love you and I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to mark your face'.

How very Sora of him.

His face scrunches and he calls me an asshole and tells me I can go 'suck a fuck' and that I'm a 'fuck ass' and all these other words and names and by the end of the barrage of verbal abuse, he cries and I hold him. I wrap my arms protectively around his tiny body and I squeeze him close.

I press a kiss to his ear and I whisper to him:

"I've got you."

I'm a sophomore in college and Sora's a freshman in college. We're renting an apartment together and we're planning on getting married once we finish our degrees. It's one of those 'meant to be things'. One of those 'MFEO' things. We were the "married couple" in high school. We were the "never break up no matter how many times they fight" couple. We were almost the American Dream.

But I hear you need a vagina to qualify for that.

We're eating dinner one night – pizza in bed while he does his music homework and I work on writing a speech – and out of nowhere, Sora asks why we mesh so perfectly well together. What force in the universe made two people so undeniably perfect?

"Well, people are kind of like magnets, you know?" the pizza box is nearly empty and I set it down on the floor next to the bed. "Opposite forces pull together. So I reckon that no force in the universe made us perfect… I reckon one of us has a negative pull and the other has a positive pull and somehow, we just managed to find each other. Somehow, we just managed to bind together."

I shrug and I glance at my homework and then I glance at Sora. "I figure we'll always be together because I suppose my negative charge is so fucking powerful that it's practically BINDING your positive charge to me." I offer a small smile to him and he grins back. That cheesy, goofy, insanely-happy smile he's been grinning since he was a little kid.

"I suppose," he murmurs and he glances at his homework.

And before you know it, our school work and homework and books and papers and everything has been knocked off the bed in a messy heap and I'm undressing Sora who suddenly has too much clothing on for my liking. His shirt is being ripped off by my hands and I'm eagerly kissing his lips, my fingers working to unbutton his jeans.

And then our positions are totally switched and I'm, somehow, beneath him, on the bed, my clothing completely off and him between my legs. His tongue is running up and down my cock and I reel back slightly, moaning at the wet sensation of his hot tongue against my shaft. He's teasing me again and I growl somewhere in the back of my throat.

"Jesus, Sor…" I grip his hair and he sucks the head of my cock innocently. He sucks and sucks and I want to push his head down, but I don't.

I don't and he pulls away. Instead, he slips off the bed, completely naked, and saunters, just slightly, around the room. This is completely new and I sit up, one eyebrow raised and trying to figure out what in the world he's getting at. It certainly can't be stripping unless he's going to peel away his skin.

…

Ew.

I lick my lips.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I coo and he shrugs.

"I don't feel like it anymore."

…

…

He doesn't feel like it anymore?

My jaw slacks and props open slightly and I look around the room, as if looking for maybe the lamp shade or the bedpost to confirm what Sora has just said. He doesn't FEEL like it? Can he DO that?! Can he really, honestly get me that worked up and then tell me he doesn't FEEL like it?!

I jump up from the bed and I grab him around the waist, sinking my teeth against his neck and purposefully breaking the skin. He lets out something between a moan and a yelp and then I toss him onto the bed. He's on his hands and knees, trying to get up, but I push the palm of my hand against his upper-back – between his shoulder blades – and shave his face against the bed.

I grip the back of his neck and I hold him there, his bottom in the air and just WAITING for my eminent entrance. I use my other hand to guide myself to his entrance and then I shove in, listening to him squeak and then feeling him instinctively tense around my shaft.

God, that feels good.

"Mm…" I moan and I let my hand go away from his neck.

"N-no…" he breathes. "I l-like your hand t-there…"

And then I suddenly realize I just gave Sora exactly what he's wanted for years.

We're screaming at each other. We're screaming and screaming and screaming and then we're breaking the dishes and hitting each other and we're in an all out BRAWL before the cops show up and tell us to quiet down and stop fighting or they'll come back. Letting us off with a warning and for the rest of the night, Sora is cold as ice.

Cold as fucking ice.

He doesn't sleep in bed with me. He doesn't eat dinner or breakfast or lunch with me. He avoids me at school and, frankly? He's hardly ever, ever, ever home when I'm home. He comes home to shower, sleep, and eat and then he's off again.

It goes on for weeks.

I didn't know that was how he was going to react.

I didn't know Sora was…

Going to be SO PISSED about me joining the military.

I had never told him my plans. I had never, ever told him I planned to join right after college. I didn't tell him because I think part of me did know that was how he was going to react. Part of me did know he was going to be devastated and hurt, but… I didn't know it was going to be like this.

Besides, it's the military.

I wasn't just joining up.

I had my degree and I was going to get a steady pay and I was going to be an officer, but Sora never bothered to lend his ear to listen.

Dumb kid.

This behavior continues for another few weeks and then we take our exams and then college is over. Finished. Completely done with and then one night, I come home and Sora says to me:

"I'm leaving you."

And I was greatly moved by those three words.

Fast forward to now. Fast forward to a couple years later – about three years later – and I've lost all contact with him. My military career is steady, my family life is steady, and my social life is steady. Everything is working out the way I wanted it to, but… I'm missing something. A small piece that was supposed to finish this beautiful picture I wanted to paint.

That last little color that would blend all of this mess together.

I haven't spoken to Sora in years. Fucking YEARS and by chance – just by chance – I'm stepping off the bus in my civilian clothes and I walk into a Waffle House and there he is, sitting at the bar.

Drinking coffee, looking good… He's got a five o'clock shadow and I think it looks good on him. His hair is shorter and still spiked and he's wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He's a musician. He majored in music and minored in business and what he's doing now, I can't tell you.

Maybe he's in a band.

Maybe he has a shop.

I really can't tell you.

I wonder if I should just go sit down and pretend I never saw him. After three years, we've never had a crazy run-in or anything. The last words he said to me were 'I'm leaving you' and that was all that had been said. We had been over. Finished. And now here we were.

I turn to go find a booth to sit at when a small hand with long fingers graces my shoulder. I know that hand better than I know my own hands and I turn around, facing Sora after what seems like a really, really long time. But three years really isn't that long… Not much can happen in three years and I suppose he hasn't changed much.

I don't know what to say.

I choke.

I never, ever choke, but now I choke.

"I know you," Sora smiles. "I left you for a really stupid reason." he says it like a joke.

I choke and I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

Nothing comes out and when I blink, tears run down my cheeks.

I don't cry. The last time I cried was when he left me and he's never seen me cry otherwise. I keep it to myself, you know? I keep it to myself.

But here I am, in public, de-manning myself by crying.

And as an automatic response, Sora wraps his arms around, kisses my ear, and says to me:

"I've got you."

Author's Note: I like it when stories are kind of sad in a happy way. This whole idea actually came up when someone close to me said 'I've got you' after we got into a fight. I love accidental ideas.