I look down at the line on my arm with fresh blood oozing out of it. The pain that is coming from my arm makes me forget all about the pain that happens at school, what happens everyday of my life at school. I'm not popular, I'm not pretty, and no one likes me. So this is what it has come to, cutting the pain away.

The tears are slowly cascading down my face and I can hear my cell phone ringing in my room, but right now I'm in my private bathroom just staring down at the lines, there's to many scars to count, up and down both of my arms.

I get up from my spot on the floor after a few hours and after I bandage up my new cut, and snuggle up in my bed, falling asleep.

--

I wake up to the sun hitting my face; I look over at my clock, 1 hour to get ready for school. I get up out of my bed and take a quick shower, I put on a pair of pink jogging pants and a plain white tee shirt, and I slip on a pair of black flip flops. I quickly flop my hair up on my head and grab my purse off my dresser. At the last minute I realize I need to cover up my arms so I slip on a pair bright red arm warmers, covering up the scars.

I walk into Sea View High School knowing that today will just be another day, full of hurt and sadness. I walk over to my locker and twist the lock to the numbers. I open the locker door and grab the books I need. While everyone else chats it up in the hallways I walk toward my first period class, sure I'll be 10 minutes early but that's okay.

I walk down the hallway as people ignore me, I look over at the popular group and I see my old friends Lily Truscott and Nick Jones, we used to be best buddies and we knew everything about one another and then Amber decided they were cool, leaving me all alone when Oliver moved to Florida with his Grandma.

I must have stared to long because I loose my balance from not paying attention to what I'm doing and fall down flat on my face, my books sliding down the hallway. Everyone stops and looks down at me laughing. Hey maybe people notice me after all? I look over at Lily and Nick and see them laughing right along with everyone else, this causes the tears to well up in my eyes. I push myself up off the floor and people start kicking my books around the hallway, I race after them and finally retrieve all 3 books.

I reach my homeroom and surprise, surprise I'm the first one there, even the teacher isn't in the classroom yet. I push my face into my hands and let the tears fall, they keep on falling until I hear the bell ring and people start filing into the room.

Nick comes down at sits beside me but only because the teacher assigned us to sit together. Then he takes me by surprise when he says something to me "I tried calling you last night" I nod my head "Why?" maybe I should be a little nicer to him but he wasn't nice this morning or the day before that… or before that. "I don't know, I just figured we hadn't talked in a while and I wanted to see what was up" in a way this brought tears to my eyes in another way I just wanted to scream in his face, letting him know how much pain everyone in this world causes me. I don't say anything back and someone yells across the room "Hey Nick, how come you're talking to stinky Stewart?" I cross my fingers, just hoping that this once he will stick up for me, maybe this once the pain will subside for a few minutes just knowing that he would stick up for me.

Instead of sticking up for me he rolls his eyes and gets up, walking away and over to the group of girls that hollered it out. The way to familiar liquid starts dripping from the corners of my eyes "Hey look, she's crying" everyone laughs and I get up, grabbing all my stuff and out of the classroom.

I walk down the hallway in a rush, letting multiple sobs escape from my open mouth. I enter the bathroom and check all the stalls, making sure I'm alone. I go inside the biggest stall and slide down the wall, my stuff landing on the floor with me.

I pull the razor out of my purse and slip the warmer off my arm. I pick a clear spot and press the blade against my bare arm. The crying gets harder and I shake, I watch as the red sticky liquid comes out from under the blade, I slowly slide the object across my arm and feel a tad bit of relief of that one pain when the burning starts, I lift the blade from my arm and watch as the crimson color drips down my white arm.

The blade slips from my hand and makes a clinking sound as it hits the hard floor, I repeat its actions and lay down on the cold cement floor, who cares how many germs there are, who cares if I could get a disease, my life is slowly coming to an end anyways.

I end up laying here for over a good amount of time, and in the middle of god knows what class period I force myself off the ground after looking under the stalls once again, making sure I'm alone. I push the warmer back up on my arm and hold the blood stained blade in my hand. I rest my purse on the shoulder and exit the stall.

I walk over to the sink and wash the blade off, then stick it back down into my purse. I look up in the mirror, the most horrible reflection stares back at me, and I don't even know who she is. I wash my face free of the dry tears and exit the bathroom.

I run/walk down the hallways and walk out the front entrance of Sea View High School, heck there's probably cameras all around me but I don't care, nothing like that matters anymore. I feel the wind hit my face, and it feels good.

I run forward and make the turn that I know leads to the beach.

--

I sit down on the brown sand and stare out into the ocean; I wish I was more like the ocean, calm, soothing, peaceful, and beautiful.

I take the warmer off the arm that is burning with pain and pull out a couple of bandages from my purse, I peel off the white paper and stick the sticky part on my skin, making sure the white cushiony part is on the cut. I use 5 more bandages and then I take my other warmer off, there's nobody on this part of the beach so it doesn't matter, no one is going to see them.

7 hours 12 minutes and 57 seconds later I find myself in the exact same spot I was 7 hours and 13 minutes earlier, my eyes are getting heavier and my cell phone is ringing non stop. I haven't answered one call and I don't plan on it. The night is growing as I stare up into the sky, instead of the water, and draw pictures with the stars, kinda like connect-the-dots. Me and Nick and Lily used to do this on late summer nights, you know back when they actually stood up for me and stuff.

So I guess I should tell you now, I have the littlest bit of a crush on Nick Jones, it's nothing major and it's not going to turn into anything, obviously. I've always liked him more than a friend, well when we were friends, but he never liked me like that. But that's okay, because well I'm not really sure why, but its okay.

I think it's time to go home now and I push myself off the sand, and wipe the bits and pieces from off my butt. I grab my purse and the arm warmers from off the ground and manage to get home without some homeless person trying to attack me… I mean why would a homeless guy want to attack me anyways?

I stare at my house and look to the left, Nick's house, and then I look to the right, Lily's house. It's how we met, I moved in beside both of them and BAM we were instantly friends, to bad it can't be like those days.

OK I don't really like the ending and I don't like how some parts came out but whatever.