When Nanoha and Fate finally reentered the briefing room, the evaluation was already about to come to an end.

"Ahh! N-Nanoha, don't walk so fast!" Footsteps along the corridor just outside the room were growing louder as they approached. There was an almost-childish giggle (definitely from Nanoha) before there was a yelp, then a sudden crashing noise.

"Fate-chan!" the footsteps had stopped. "Fate-chan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," came the blonde's slightly embarrassed voice.

"Are you hurt? Did you scrape your knee? You should know better than to walk so fast when you're still so sore!"

"Mou, Nanoha! I said I'm fine, stop fussing! It's only a slip! Besides, I was only trying to catch up with you. You're the one who should know better than to move so fast right after- mmph!"

Whatever Fate was about to say was cut off abruptly, and with all the scuffling noises, the Forwards in the room could only guess what was going on outside.

"Na-Nanoha, not here!" Fate's usually quiet voice was somewhat panicked.

"Mm, you can slip as many times as you want, Fate-chan. I will always be right here to catch you when you fall."

Inside the room, Signum rolled her eyes and rested her forehead on her fingers, the closest she would ever come to a facepalm.

Under the Table

Part II

- enraptured :D

xxx

There was a faint hissing as metal doors slid apart to allow the two Aces into the room. Nanoha bounced in first, a wide grin on her face, looking much happier than she had been the entire day.

Fate, on the other hand, was wincing. She limped, very cautiously, back to her seat. Her cheeks were flushed, and her uniform was crumpled in various places. The blonde was very careful of not making eye-contact with anyone in the room.

It wasn't long before the meeting was officially called to a close, and the Forwards took their leave.

"Nanoha," Hayate called from the front. "Could you come with me for a moment? There's some data I need you to look over."

Nanoha pouted cutely, throwing a glance at Fate.

"Mou, I was about to go for a bite with Fate-chan…"

Fate blushed and giggled then, leaning over the table to poke Nanoha's cheek. "You go ahead, I'll be waiting here."

Nanoha growled quietly.

"This had better not take long, Hayate-chan," the Ace of Aces complained, glowering at her commander.

"Hai, hai, we all know you can't wait to have together time with Fate-chan," Hayate giggled and pulled a reluctant Nanoha out of the room, leaving Fate very alone with...

"Aah, Testarossa."

Fate froze. There was only one person in the world that got away with calling her that. Slowly, painfully, she turned around and offered a weak smile to her rival.

Act calm, act calm, she chanted to herself. There was no need to panic, Signum just wanted to ask her about the new training schedule. Yeah, that was it. The new schedule.

"So," Signum began, adjusting her posture to face Fate fully. Her back leaning against the table, she stared straight into burgundy eyes unflinchingly.

She didn't like the tone of Signum's voice, or that smirk on her face, one bit.

Slender fingers fumbled with papers, and Fate stuffed her notes into her folder quickly.

"Why the rush, Testarossa? I thought you were still, ahh, sore?"

Shit! Her fingers fumbled, sending papers flying haphazardly everywhere.

"Ihavenoideawhatyou'retalkingabout!" Fate kicked herself mentally a dozen times over. Her voice was impossibly high, and the words were too rushed to be normal. And oh god, did she just squeak?

Breathe, Fate berated herself. Take deep breaths, speak slowly, perfect articulation, and enunciate every syllable. As long as she acted normal, that annoying pink-haired knight wouldn't find anything amiss.

"I, have no idea, what you, are talking, about," Fate tried again. "At all!" she added for emphasis, wringing her hands in an overly dramatic manner.

There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Fate ducked under the table quickly to retrieve her papers, praying that Signum would be satisfied with her answer and just leave her alone.

No such luck.

"No idea what I'm talking about? Maybe it's because… you were too busy looking for your pen under that table?"

There was a loud crashing sound as Fate reared back in shock. Whimpering quietly, she rubbed her stinging head, which had come into (hard) contact with the roof of the table.

Easy, Fate. Act calm, remember?

"Mm. You know, how, elusive, those pens, can get! Ha! Ha! Haha! Hahahaha!" Fate gave a nervous chuckle, all too loud and cheery to be natural.

"Sou. Is that pen very... inky then? I could have sworn I heard a lot of... slurping… noises."

Fate wanted to stay under the table forever and die. She could practically hear the smirk in Signum's voice.

"Yes! That, is right. It is! Um, fully, loaded, I mean! That, would explain. The wet noises. That you heard." She was rambling now. Fate had to pinch her thigh to remind herself to speak slowly and casually. "I just, refilled, the ink. That, is all! It is not like, I was, doing anything... funny! Under the table! I wasn't kissing Nanoha at all!"

Signum barely suppressed her snort of laughter. Testarossa was very bad at lying under pressure. She made a face. "Why, in the name of Laevatein, are you talking like that?"

"What! I'm, talking, normally!" Fate was sounding panicky now. Crawling out from under the table, she arranged her papers quickly, hoping that she looked like her usual brisk and professional self, and not like a love struck teenager who had just gotten caught for snogging under the table.

"What?" Fate snapped and folded her arms over her chest self-consciously when Signum bent over and stared suspiciously at her skirt.

"Nothing. Except for the fact that your zipper, is unzipped." Signum's knowing voice dripped mirth, shaking with barely concealed laughter. She was going to love every second of this.

Fate let out a horrified squeak as her hands flew immediately to her skirt. A quick jerk, and-

RIPPP.

"SHIT!" Fate froze in utter horror. She stared in disbelief at the tiny golden zip in her hand, which had come detached from her skirt.

Shit, shit, shit!

Fate felt her knees turn to jelly, and she stumbled back, grabbing the edge of the table for support. She did not just yank the zip off her bloody skirt!

There was a loud banging sound, and Fate, hardly daring to look, stole a quick peek at Signum. The leader of the Wolkenritter was bent double over the table, laughing uncharacteristically loudly, slamming her fist on the table repeatedly in a rare display of emotion. Fate could have sworn there were tears of laughter leaking out from under Signum's closed eyelids.

"Shut up!" Fate was screaming over the noise of Signum's laughter. "Shut up, shut up, it's not funny!" She was almost hysterical now, feeling as though she could bury herself in bed for a couple of decades crying herself to death. Or maybe rotting from mortification, either way was fine.

"W-Would you also care to explain why your skirt looks wetter than before?" Signum could barely get the words out amidst her booming laughter.

Fate felt her face burn in embarrassment and she sunk helplessly into her vacated chair, hiding her incredibly red face behind trembling hands. She was never going to hear the end of this.

"Ahh well, I should have known that you two bunnies can't keep your hands off each other for long," Signum sighed and shook her head exaggeratedly, feigning disappointment. "I must say I'm upset, Testarossa. I admit I expected more... self-control from my rival."

Fate leapt up from her chair in a heartbeat.

"Contrary to what you may think, Signum, I am not some kind of sex-craved maniac!" Fate snapped hotly, fists clenched tightly at her sides.

Signum smirked quietly. This was going to be easier than she thought. Fate was usually composed and calm, but Signum knew just the right buttons to push. As long as she played her cards right, Testarossa would be putty in her hands.

"So, you don't enjoy Nanoha's touch?"

"No! Yes! No! I-I mean- I..." Fate stammered desperately, burgundy eyes darting around nervously, looking all too much like a caged rabbit. 'I do, but I don't, I... Shut up, Signum!"

Signum could barely contain her laughter. "That's no way to talk to your superior, Testarossa."

"Superior?!" Fate nearly shrieked, outraged. How dare Signum imply that she was superior?! "You know as well as I do that I'm the only one who can exhaust you in a fight, and I don't even have to resort to Sonic Form!"

Signum smiled to herself. Fate hated to lose, and that was a trait she would take full advantage of. The stubborn blonde was seething now, hopping madly on one foot as she tried to get her point across. If she hadn't been so focused on her mission, she would probably find the sight very amusing.

"I have merely been giving you some leeway, Testarossa. Had I been using my full potential, you would not be standing here now." That was a blatant lie, and they both knew it. Neither of them held back during their mock duels, much to the dismay of Nanoha and Hayate.

"Besides," Signum leaned in closer, her lips curling up evilly. "The battlefield is only one aspect in which I am confident that I'm a cut above you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fate growled, glaring at the older woman in the eye.

Bingo.

"It means," Signum grinned carnivorously. "That you are inferior to my excellence in many other areas, Testarossa."

"Areas such as?" Fate looked interested now. She was always one for a challenge.

"Such as, in bed," Signum finished simply.

There was silence. A long, drawn out silence, and for a moment, Signum wondered if she had overstepped her boundaries.

"E-Excuse me?" The expression of Fate's face was priceless. She knew that her mouth was open in shock, but she couldn't seem to close it somehow. Feeling as though her knees couldn't support her weight, she collapsed back into her chair before she could faint.

"There," Signum said smugly, folding her arms. "I, am a better seductress that you." She leaned back and waited for the explosion she knew would come.

"HAH!" Fate was up on her feet again in an instant, infuriated. "What makes you think that, you... you stoic, cold, aloof, bitter, cross, century-old woman! You have no right to say that, I... I do much more things than you can possibly dream of doing!"

"Ooh? What things?" Signum tilted forward, suddenly paying a whole lot more attention to their conversation.

"I... Just things. Things that you have probably never heard off, so there," Fate huffed snappily.

"... A challenge, then," Signum said quietly.

"Eh?" Fate looked genuinely surprised now.

"Let's just say I need to get a certain Shamal back for something she'd done. You want to prove how... proficient, you are."

Fate blinked. This was not happening. "Are you implying that you want me to give you tips on how to seduce Shamal?!"

"Maybe," Signum said evasively, a mysterious smile on her face.

"I refuse!" Fate exclaimed, appalled at the very idea.

"Of course, if you're not confident that you can help me..." Signum trailed off thoughtfully. She smirked one of her trademark smirks. She had won this one.

"...Fine!" Fate snapped.

"Fine?"

"Fine!" Fate repeated. There was a stubborn set to her jaw, one that said she refused to back down, or to lose. "But only if you'll drop this whole... table incident. And not mention this to anyone."

"Deal."

Fate sighed and ran a hand through her hair, not believing what she had just gotten herself into. "Not a word to anyone, Signum. I mean it!"

"Oh believe me, Testarossa, I have no intention of letting anyone hear of this either," Signum muttered. It had taken all of her pride to get her rival for help, although she did manage to manipulate the conversation to seem as though she was giving Fate a chance to prove herself.

"So, where do we start?" Fate winced visibly. She wanted this to be over and done with, so she could run back to Nanoha arms and bawl her eyes out.

"I need to know how to grope effectively," Signum growled, fighting the blush that was threatening to rise to her face.

There was a snort of laughter and Fate tried desperately to hold her giggles, stuffing her fist in her mouth in a very unFate-like manner. Signum resisted the urge to slam her fist into Fate's face to help her stop laughing. Instead, she settled for cracking her knuckles ominously loud and glaring at Fate.

"You can try it out, and I can see what you're doing wrong," Fate finally got a hold on her laughter, though her lips were still twitching.

"You mean... hands-on work?" Signum was suddenly starting to think that this was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

"Mmhmm," Fate agreed happily, cocking her head to one side with an angelic smile on her face.

Signum seethed. The blonde wasn't making this any easier for herself, and she knew it. Slowly, hesitantly, the pink-haired knight reached out a quavering hand.

"Mmph!" Fate gasped suddenly as Signum grabbed her breast without warning. She turned an interesting shade of crimson, staring in shock at the hand that had latched on to her.

"What, Testarossa likes this?" Signum smirked and squeezed slightly, provoking a moan from the younger girl.

"I most certainly do not," Fate snapped, though unable to look Signum in the eye. The said knight wanted to press the issue, but she knew she had better continue before her instructor died from all the blood rushing to her face.

"Um, I need you to moan a little louder. So that I can you know," Signum shuddered, hating herself more by the moment. "Bask in the… ambience."

Fate stared in horror at her taller woman. Her knees actually quaked.

"Just do it, damn it, so we can get this over with easily, for both our sakes," Signum snapped, not sounding the least bit amused. "Let's try this again. You can... pretend I'm Nanoha, or something."

"Nanoha does not grab me like that," Fate began vehemently, stomping her foot down in annoyance.

"Oh?" Signum raised an eyebrow, suddenly sounded way too interested than Fate would have liked. "How, exactly, does she touch you, then?"

"Well, for one, she doesn't squeeze my… chest as though she's trying to force toothpaste out of the tube!" Fate complained loudly, crossing her arms over her front. "She's gentle. And rough," she added as if an afterthought, a silly grin forming on her lips as she gazed off dreamily.

"No wait, what am I saying?!" Fate snapped out of her daydream and hurriedly took back her words. It was too late. Signum's smirking face was suddenly in front of her, invading her personal space and way too close for comfort.

"Oho! So Testarossa is a masochist? A little pain and pleasure, hmm?"

"Don't push it, Signum," Fate ground out through clenched teeth. She wanted to be anywhere but here, talking about her sex life to Signum.

"So anyway, when you grope, try to do it more... sensually. You know? Some light caresses; some teasing stroking, and you might want to throw in some tempting pinches along the way." Oh god. This was worse than watching Nanoha eat raw fish. She, coming from Mid-Childa, had never developed a liking for those disgusting, slimy things, and seeing Nanoha devour them with satisfaction made her stomach churn. It was nothing compared to this, though. This made her nauseous. Terribly nauseous.

Signum was torn between wanting to throw up, and wanting to memorize everything Fate had said. She settled on the latter, and hoped that Shamal would appreciate all the effort she was putting in just to make her happy.

"So um, like that?' Signum ran a hand over Fate's leggings-covered thigh, white the other sneaked up to cut her breast.

"Ooh," Fate pretended to moan in pleasure. Pretended was the word,

"You sound like a constipated monkey," Signum complained, exasperated. "How am I supposed to get this right if you don't step up your act?"

"Fine!" Fate cried. Signum wanted her to moan? She'd moan all right. "OOOOOHHHH. OOOOOOOOOOH. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH Signum, you're turning me on!" Fate howled dramatically, flailing her arms about.

"Fate…chan?"

Fate felt her heart stop suddenly. A chill crept up her spine. No. No. Please, anything but...

Nanoha stood at the door, a look of disbelief on her face. She stared in shock at the sight before her – Fate was moaning in the throes of pleasure, Signum's hands were all over her Fate-chan, and Fate's skirt was unzipped. The White Devil felt her fists clench tightly.

"Ahh, Nanoha!" Fate hurried to untangle herself from Signum, nearly tripping in the process. "It's not what you think! Nanoha!"

"You..." Nanoha growled furiously, stamping over to the pair. "You thieving vixen!" She snarled at Signum. Reaching out, she snatched Fate and crushed her against her chest, wrapping her arms around Fate possessively.

"Nanoha!" Fate squeaked timidly from the brunette's tight embrace, flinching when the Nanoha turned fuming eyes at her. "It's not what you think, I can explain..."

"And you," Nanoha muttered dangerously, "You have no right to talk, Fate-chan."

When Fate continued to struggle helplessly in Nanoha's grasp, Nanoha forced the blonde's head to one side.

"Kyaaa!" Fate cried when Nanoha bit down on her ear, hard. Whimpering submissively, Fate fell silent and stopped trashing, looking at Nanoha with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Ah, so that's how it's done," Signum mused to herself. A good technique.

"You," the White Devil seethed, glaring at Signum.

Raising Heart started to form in her outstretched hand.

(Starlight...)

"Nanoha!"

"GET YOUR OWN BLONDE!"

(... Breaker!)

"NANOHAAA!"

END :D

A/N: Yay, a longer chapter to make up for the previous short one! Funny? Not funny?

Remember when I said reviews keep me writing? xD Yeah, I didn't intend to continue this, but thanks to all the reviews, and some of the AS members who put ideas into my head, we have a Signum teases Fate chapter. xP

I'm not sure if I'm going to do a Nanoha / Fate punishment scene after this oO

Anyway! Major thanks to Black-Wolf-Ninja (BW!), who approached me with the idea that we should sort of reference each other's fics (Pink on Blonde & Under the Table), so we came up with the idea where Signum goes to Fate for tips on seducing Shamal after the meeting, and from there, we split to write the seperate Shagnum / Nanofate endings. So I make sense? THANK YOU BW :D Look out for the next Pink on Blonde chapter! :3

SO. REVIEWS WOULD MAKE WRITING THIS SO WORTH IT. :D hint!