intro: I wrote this after reading Juno (the book of the movie...) I was inspired to make a Juno-like character to add humor and sarcasm to the mix. for more traditional WMAC Masters stories see

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Tsunami, Tracer, Warlock, the past, the present, the future; whatever.

Some how the right people figured it out; somehow the plot was thwarted. Some how I auditioned for the Ninja academy and got in. My name is Jen.
I sit back in my generic ninja costume and go out in the Universal Studios set and get my butt kicked on a regular basis; all with the hope of one day advancing to the ranks of a real WMAC Master; cue theme song-

"They're the world's greatest martial artists, competing for the ultimate prize...

OLYMPUS (booring)
THE MACHINE (he's cool, very down to earth)
SUPERSTAR (never met him)
RED DRAGON (flirts with the more attractive ninja wannabes)
LADY LIGHTNING (too scared to approach)
PRINCESS (so beautiful! - She should totally go to Hollywood)
WARLOCK (his name is still in the opening?)... cut to the big finish:

TURBO (my angel; my knight in shining armor.. or any other romance novel cliche.) ...blah blah.
Their quest, reach full dragon belt, then go for the Dragon Star itself.
The World Martial Arts Council presents WMAC MASTERS."

Lets cut to the show.

INT. WMAC HEADQUARTERS - INNER SANCTUM

With the Dragon star found, the gulity parties brought to justice, the glory and beauty of the WMAC competition has been restored. The masters returned from their Dojos all over the USA and Canada. But what kind of world did they return to? Was it worth it? To leave their students and return to a place where many outsiders compared what they do to pro-wrestling?

We were about to find out. Or at least I was; with the first spectacular match of the new season. Turbo and Princess, vs Olympus and some new girl named Isis (probably from the pro circuit because she sure as hell didn't go through the ninja academy.)

Isis was a pretty Latina with long black hair in a ponytail. Not too tall, not to short, with just the right amount of muscle tone to look athletic. I hated her already.

According to the schedule she was going to do a ribbon dance performance later as her "initiation performance." Maybe later she can pose for playboy; that would sure bring press coverage to our little show.
KIDDING- of course!! That would go against the code of the dragon star (I think.)

Like I said I have been only a ninja for 4 months, perhaps I need a refresher on the points of the dragon star. Either way off I went to be a 'camo' ninja, in the battle arena with a whole bunch of water traps. Great... because when a master falls in to a water trap the match is over, when a ninja falls in to a water trap is it up to them to drag their wet, embarrassed selves back to dry land; sooo looking forward to this.

We wait; about 10 minutes or so, depending on if the intros go right the first time or need to be re-filmed. Then once the almighty voice says for us to start randomly attacking, we do so.

Of course as a rule ninjas are only supposed to attack competitors of the same gender. I screwed up big time. But after all this was my first match as a ninja; I was just a little kid straight out of training; I didn't duck as quickly as I should have.

INT. WATER HAZARD, SOUTH ASIAN LOOKING BATTLE ARENA

Ninjas...ENGAGE!!- That was our cue to attack the competitors, allowing them to score as many hit points as possible off us before the actual match began.

My god he was hot. Michael 'Turbo' Bernardo, the hottest thing ever to come from London , Ontario Canada. Shoulder length brown hair, deep, beautiful eyes, and that body...a body that any straight woman would die to touch. I did my best to maintain a professional demeanor, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. (I wanted to lick the sweat off every muscles of his body.)

My mind wondered to all kinda of S&M erotic thoughts, and I didn't realize I was standing dangerously close to him. Someone must have pushed me (I'll assume accidentally) and I slammed in to his back, which caused him to kick me; with his signature kicks...to the face... which hurt like all hell.

I scurried away like a little mouse. Backstage I took of my mask and looked in the mirror; oh shit. I nose was bleeding and I had the mother of all bruises. How do the male ninjas take hits like this?

I grabbed an ice pack and sat waiting to be dismissed for the day so I could go buy lots and lots of painkillers.

Than I heard it:
Here now, before the Grand Masters of the World Martial Arts Council, as her initiation, Lana Del Rio, Ki symbol: Isis, shall now demonstrate her form: Fire Flower.

Fire Flower? That almost made me curious. The music was kinda cool and if I wasn't in terrible pain I would have snuck a peek on the tv.

ANNOUNCER: FLAWLESS!!

Well duh, I never heard of an preliminary performance being anything less then flawless. After all they already gave her a place in the WMAC; what would they do? Send someone down to the arena with a copy of the contract and rip it up in front of her?

I sat in the vomiting position; my head as close to between my legs as it could get as i listed to the rest of the match results as the played over the intercom. Until my 'friend' Kat tapped me on the shoulder. "you really dodged a bullet today."

"have you seen my face?" I grumbled.

"yeah... but..." she couldn't help but giggle and the giggle quickly evolved in to uncontrollable laughter.

"oh god..." I knew what she was thinking. My hero bailed me out, possibly convincing the academy not to kick me to the curb.

"it's better! He wants to MEET you!!-- I figure it's like when celebrities want to meet the children of 3rd world nations; just to give a little hope." Kat added, in a most condescending tone.

I tried to think of the worst swear word combination I could come up with but nothing came out, so I just stormed out of the locker room heading to the exit.

"hi." a voice; the voice. I turned to see what I have only dreamed of. Someone must have told him I was getting the hell out of there because he looked like he just got out of the shower. He wore jeans and no shirt and ; god he was so sexy.

"um.. hi" I squeaked.

to be continued.