Note: I wrote this at 12 freaking a.m. and I do not regret it! XD

Megs and the Washing Machine

TF Crack Drabble

What the fuck was this?

Megatron stared at the human contraption before him, fully knowing how it worked, yet not actually having a clue at the same time. The oven was an old style for the humans to use – why did some still have the damn things? Why not make them more advanced? – and its controls were a few switches and a turny-thingie.

Megatron had just become a "human" last week and hated being one already. Damn his Spark for doing shit to him. He was tall for his quote 'age' unquote, an athletic build with pale moon skin – and for some awful reason with a blue-ish tint – and wore just plain blue jeans and a black t-shirt, normally with a name of some human group. Megatron could hardly care less.

Right now he had to figure out how to wash his damn clothes. Apparently, without clothes, he was considered "naked", "indecent", and a "horrible example for society's children". Pfft. As if he cared. But how the hell did a human work this thing?

All right, so he had put his clothes in the large hole and put the lid over it. He wasn't sure it would stay, but whatever. Megatron now was looking at the bottles of detergent and fabric softener. Detergent was like soap; he knew that. And fabric softener made clothes softer, apparently. Megatron had never studied humans – nor shown interest – but he wasn't sure how much he needed for just a few t-shirts and two pairs of jeans.

Didn't help that no one else was there. So Megs was left all on his bloody own without a clue as to how to measure soap and softener. Or work the washing machine for that matter.

Shrugging with a scowl, Megs opened the lid and poured practically half the bottle of detergent in before following it up with the whole bottle of fabric softener. Hey, if it made the clothes more comfortable, he didn't care. He shut the lid, threw the half-empty bottle and empty bottle across the room, and went back to staring at the switches and funky whatchamacallit. A turnie-thingie. Whatever it was.

Megatron growled and kicked the box of water-detergent-softener-clothes-mixture, flicked all the switches up and attempted to turn the tunrie-thingie. Realizing it wouldn't turn fluidly, Megs applied a shitload of pressure on it, attempting to turn it before a sickening pop fill the room and the poor ex-decepticon was left with the tunry-thingie in his hand, wires detached from the machine.

"Cursed human machine, I command you work!"

The washing machine was silent and stood its ground.

Megs let out a scream of frustration, pinched one of the wires, and calmed down when the machine started to run at that. Huffing, the man walked upstairs. He took a nap.

Four hours passed and Megatron woke up grumbling, hearing a rather loud beeping noise from down in the laundry room and he let out an exasperated sigh, going to get his clothes out of the wash. He stopped at the middle stair, looking down at the once clear hardwood floor, which was now swamped in water, funky bubbles, and the air now smelled of lilies. Megatron's eyes widened and he jumped over the railing and straight into the laundry room. The water made his feet cold immediately and he yelped like a sissy at the contact.

Megatron saw that the washing machine had overflowed with water and bubbles and was still freaking running and Megatron was at a loss as to how to turn it off. The turny-thingie seemed to be the switch, but now that it was off--!

Megatron heard footsteps splashing in the water and looked up at the person who now entered the room with desperation on his face.

Starscream took one look around the room before sighing and picking up the turny-thingie. He held it out to Megatron. "It's called a dial, Megs. A dial."