Lost Brother

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I stared at the solid gray rock in front of me. Someone had to be pulling a prank on me, there had to be a logical explanation for this. A strong gust of wind blew across me, whipping my long hair in front of my face and tugging at my red jacket. I wrapped my fingers around the edge of the coat and pulled it closer as I continued to stare at the unbelievable words, hoping they would just go away if I never took my eyes off them.

Colonel Edward Elric

The Fullmetal Alchemist

Beloved brother and friend

This was a sick joke, if that was someone's intention. I was Edward Elric, I was the Fullmetal Alchemist, me. I couldn't be dead and standing in front of my own grave. That just couldn't happen.

I then laughed slightly as I realized that whoever had made the fake grave had promoted me in my death. That meant that Colonel Mustang and I would be considered equals in military headquarters. At least, if the reason for my promotion wasn't because I had died. If I went walking around HQ, people would freak out at seeing me, whether I was equal to Mustang or not.

Wait, what was I saying? I wasn't dead. I couldn't be dead! I still had so much to do!

I then paused for a moment and thought over the situation. There were two options. Either someone was playing a prank on me and I hadn't really died, or I had really died and was a ghost of some sort. I thought slowly over the two options and then realized that either way, it didn't matter if I was alive or dead, the one who really mattered was Al. He had to keep on living and do something with his life, no matter whether I was dead or not, my brother had to stay alive.

I looked around quickly trying to see if Al had been buried nearby. If he was dead, then I guessed that he would be near me, since no one would want to separate us from one another. Part of me almost wished that he was dead so I could spend whatever afterlife there was with him by my side, just as we had spent life, but I then quickly shook away the thought. It was better for Al to be alive.

I noticed that I had been buried beside my mother, but there were no other Elric graves besides ours. That would probably mean that Al was still alive. I breathed a sigh of relief and then glanced at my mother's grave again. It was a familiar rock to me by now after visiting it countless times and tracing my fingers over the engraved words.

If I was dead, then where was mom? I had always thought that I would be able to see her again once I had died, but she wasn't around. I bit my lip, wondering whether I was really dead or not. I felt like I was alive, but who would make a gravestone as realistic as that for a stupid prank?

I then glanced down at the dirt in front of my feet. There was only one way to figure out for sure. If this was a prank, then someone couldn't have buried my own body, could they? What a stupid prank. I knelt down and started frantically clawing at the dirt with my bare hands. I had to figure out what had happened. I couldn't be dead. I refused to be dead! I would dig all the way down, and I would find an empty grave!

Dirt was soon coating my once white gloves, and when I rubbed at my face to get rid of the sweat I had worked up, I was sure I had smudged my face with dirt as well. I breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself, and then dove headfirst back into my work. I just had to prove that I wasn't dead. I had to know that I could still be there for Al.

I just had to be there for Al. I had to. I couldn't leave him on his own in the world. I couldn't let him be the very last Elric.

I paused in my digging as a choked sob managed to force its way past my lips. I realized that I could remember that day. Looking back on it was as if I had been seeing it from someone else's eyes, or even my own eyes as my soul had disconnected from my body. I could see in my mind the crystal clear image of me dying, and hearing Al cry out my name in horror. I couldn't see Al anywhere in the memory, but just his terrified voice was enough to get me crying steadily.

I was dead.

I clenched my hands tightly and curled up into a ball on top of the dirt I had been clawing at. I wouldn't get to be there for Al. He'd have to go through the rest of his life on his own, without me there to help him. I was going to miss so much. Al's first hair on his chin, his first girlfriend, the first time his voice cracked… I was going to miss it all. How was he supposed to get through puberty without me? Winry and Pinako would be there for him, sure, but they were both girls. Al needed another guy to be there to help him.

He needed a brother. He needed me.

And I realized that I needed him just as much. I would never get to see Al smile again. I would have to figure out how the afterlife—or whatever state I was in—worked without him by my side. I'd have to go it alone.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We weren't supposed to be separated. We were brothers, we were meant to stay together forever, not die young. I choked and buried my face in the ground while stretching my hand out to touch the rock in front of me. A tingle went down my arm at the contact, and I quickly pulled my hand away and clenched it into a fist once more. I opened my mouth to try saying I was sorry to Al, hoping that he would be able to somehow hear me, wherever he was, but all that came out instead was one choked word.

"Brother…"

Then I fell asleep.

It was the only way to truly escape from my thoughts. I wasn't sure whether or not sleeping was a normal thing for ghosts to do, but then I guessed that since I had died fairly recently, my body still wasn't adjusted to the change, and I was following old habits I had from life.

It felt like I slept there forever, on that cold, hard ground. I didn't care though. If I was dead, then that meant I had an eternity to do whatever I pleased, so sleeping forever wasn't that big of a deal. When I finally starting coming back to whatever consciousness I had, I could hear Al's voice being called.

If Al was being called, then that meant he had to be around here somewhere. I had to manage to find Al and tell him I was sorry I wouldn't be there for him. I wasn't sure just how I was going to do it, but I knew I had to. Maybe I could spell out a message in pebbles or something. I opened my eyes at about the same time I realized there was a hand resting on my shoulder.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Winry said, smiling at me. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Winry?" I said in surprise as I pulled myself into a sitting position. "Are you dead too?" It seemed like the only reasonable explanation I could come up with as to how she was able to touch me.

"Of course I'm not dead," she said softly, and cocked her head as she looked at me. "What makes you say that, Al?"

Al? She called me Al? Oh boy, this was sure going to take some explaining. How was I going to convince Winry that she was talking to the ghost of a dead friend, not his living brother? What would even make her think I was Al? The two of us didn't look that similar, did we?

"Winry, I'm not Al," I said softly, grabbing her hands to make sure she wouldn't run away. I didn't bother to consider how a ghost would be able to grab someone solid when they had no physical body. "It's me, Edward, not Al. What would make you think I'm Al?"

"Perhaps the fact that Ed died, Al," Winry said softly with a small frown.

"I know," I persisted. "But I'm still here. I'm a ghost or something. I'm not even sure myself. I don't know how you can see me."

"I can see you because you're alive, Al," Winry said, tears now starting to stream down her face. I frowned and pulled her into a hug. I hated it when Winry cried. I wished she would just see the truth rather than forcing herself to believe I was Al.

"Um… Ed…" Winry said after a moment of silence, and I sighed in relief. She didn't sound like she truly believed I was Ed, but at least she was going to go along with it. "Who has the scar across the back of their left hand, you, or Al?"

"Al," I answered simply, frowning as Winry pulled out of the hug so she could look me in the eye properly. Winry nodded and then moved her head as if she wanted me to look at my left hand. I frowned, pulled off the dirty glove and then looked closely at my hand.

I felt my eyes widen as I saw the small white line of a scar across the back of my hand. I opened my mouth to argue that it had to be a trick, or makeup or something. Before I could though, something within my mind shifted into place—or maybe out of place—and instead of arguing, tears started flowing down my face for the second time that day.

I was the living one between the two of us, I was the one who had to grow up as the last Elric. The thought absolutely terrified me. I then noticed that Winry was still watching me with concern written over her face, so I sniffled and carefully stood up.

"You go ahead Winry, I'll catch up in a second," I assured her. She paused for a minute before hesitantly nodding and walking away from me. I rubbed my nose on my sleeve and turned to look at the grave for the second time that day, this time with a new set of eyes.

I had lost my brother, that was true. But maybe he had lost me too. Maybe he just wanted to let me know me how sorry he was for not being there for me anymore. Maybe Brother needed me as much as I needed him.

"Don't be sorry, Brother," I whispered before leaning forward and gently kissing the cold stone. "I forgive you. We'll see each other again someday." A warm breeze of wind blew in a circle around me, tickling my cheeks and reminding me strangely of a hug. I smiled slightly, then pulled my coat tighter around my body and slowly walked out of the graveyard.

I wasn't sure which hurt more, being a dead, confused Ed, or a living, lost Al.

I finally rewrote this. So here it is, all revised and much nicer than the first one. It's actually pretty similar to the old one, though obviously I've grown and changed as a writer since the time I first wrote this, and I also tweaked a few details here and there so it would make more sense. The first time I wrote this, it was barely over 900 words, now it's over 2,000, lol. Talk about change.

I've been meaning to rewrite it for… forever, but the most I seemed to be able to do was one paragraph for a while. I would always start out ready to do the whole thing, then would always end up stopping for some reason and not picking it back up again. So to keep myself from dropping it again, I didn't get up at all while writing this, haha. Took me about an hour and a half, I'd say. Now I've gotta pee. Seeya!